Adventure Guys

Nami and Usopp: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
???: Gababababababa!
*The large creature is revealed once it steps out of the jungle. A massive giant wearing Viking-like armor. Nami and Usopp are paralyzed by fear.*
???: Well, what is the answer?
Nami: Could you repeat that? I didn’t catch it. Please… sir?
???: I asked if you had any alcohol. I drank mine.
Nami: We have a little.
???: Oh, you do?! That’s perfect!
Nami: Um, there’s just one thing, it's not the drinking kind. It’s for cooking and disinfecting. But, if that’s acceptable… you’re… welcome to it all.
???: Gaagghhh!
Nami and Usopp: Aaaaaaahhhh!
*A large T. rex has bitten into the back of the giant.*
Nami: A dinosaur!
*The giant swings a large ax, cutting the dinosaur’s head clean off. And once again frightening Nami and Usopp.*
???: I am Brogy, Elbalf’s strongest warrior! Invincible! Gabababababa! Now I have dinner. And the two of you are invited as my guests.
*They collapse out of shock.*
Brogy: Are you ok?
Usopp: Just pretend you’re dead. No matter what happens, don’t move a muscle.
Nami: But playing dead only fools bears! It won’t work!

*With Luffy’s group, Luffy looks at the island from on top of the brachiosaurus’s head.*
Luffy: Whoa! What an amazing view! This is the perfect spot for our lunch.
Karoo: Quack!
Vivi: We aren’t here to have a picnic, Luffy! We need to keep moving!
*Luffy sees several notable landmarks on the island.*
Luffy: Oh! They have active volcanoes here! Not only that, look! There’s a mountain with huge holes in it!
Vivi: It’s dangerous up there! Come down already! It may seem nice, but it’s still a dinosaur!
Morbius: Yeah! Just because it’s a herbivore, doesn’t mean it’s friendly! In fact herbivores could be more dangerous!
Luffy: A what?!
Morbius: A herbivore is an animal that only eats plants! Which is what a brachiosaurus is!
Luffy: Why would that be more dangerous?
Morbius: Think about it! Herbivores don't need to hunt and they’re always on guard from predators so they'll always be ready to fight back!
Luffy: Ah. That kinda makes sense.
Morbius: Now get off the damn thing!
Luffy: We have something in common! We both love to eat! Plus, these types of dinosaurs are friendly! Like in that movie!
Morbius: Are you seriously judging a dinosaur’s behavior based on The Land Before Time?!
Luffy: Besides, the weirdest thing we’ve seen all day is this mountain! It’s really holey! Come look!
Morbius: That’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen all day?!
Vivi: Forget about critiquing the landscape! Just get off that thing! Now!
*Luffy lowers himself in front of the brachiosaurus.*
Luffy: Say, I wanna see that weird mountain. So if it’s not too much trouble, would you mind taking me there?
*But the dinosaur is too busy eating leaves from a tall tree *
Luffy: Hey! You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have ya? Gimme a ride, would ya? It’s over that way! That way!
*But it continues to ignore him.*
Luffy: No, not over here, dinosaur! Over there!
*He turns its head in the direction he wants the dinosaur to take him, hurting its neck.*
Vivi and Morbius: Idiot!
*They hear loud footsteps heading towards them.*
Luffy: Oh, sorry about that. I guess I got too carried away.
*But then, a pack of much larger brachiosaurus.*
Luffy: Hahahahaha! Wow!
Morbius: They move in herds… They do move in herds…
Vivi: Luffy! We told you this is too dangerous! Now get off that thing!
Luffy: Hey, those other dinosaurs are much taller! That means if I hop on one, I’ll have an even better view!
Vivi: That’s not the point, you fool!
*Luffy stretches his arm onto one of the heads of the taller brachiosaurus and climbs up on it.*
Luffy: Yep! Just as I thought! I can see way better from here!
*But another attempts to bite him so Luffy jumps onto its head. More and more keep trying to bite him but he keeps jumping on their heads.*
Vivi: B-Be careful!
*Luffy then slides down the long neck of one of them.*
Luffy: Hahahaha! Vivi! Morbius! You’ve really gotta try this!
*Luffy stretches his arm and grabs onto the head onto the biggest brachiosaurus there and climbs atop its head.*
Luffy: Whew. Hahahahaha! The view from up here is the best yet! Look at that!
Morbius: That one doesn’t look particularly friendly…
*It then tosses Luffy into the air and eats him.*
Vivi: Luffy, no! This is awful! He’s been eaten alive!
Morbius: But it’s a herbivore! Why would it eat him?!

*Inside the dinosaur’s mouth*
Luffy: Whoa, it got dark.
*It then swallows Luffy, sending him down its long neck.*

Morbius: This is terrible! What are we gonna do?!
*Suddenly, a giant in Viking-like armor slices the brachiosaurus’s head off with a massive sword, freeing Luffy. It then catches him in its hand.*
???: Gyagagagaga! What fun! That was glorious! Watching the likes of you grapple with longnecks is the most entertainment I’ve had in quite a while! You are my first visitor in a long time.
Luffy: Wow, you are huge! Are you human?
???: Human? What a joke! Gyagagagagaga! Greatest warrior of all Elbaf! I am Dorry! Gyagagagaga!
Vivi: It’s… a giant! I’ve heard that they exist, but I’ve never actually seen one before.
Morbius: Me and Luffy encountered giants before. But they weren’t this huge.
Luffy: Well, hi! I’m Luffy! And I’m a pirate!
Dorry: Gyagagagaga! A pirate? Well, good for you, my friend! Gyagagagaga!
*Karoo has passed out.*
Vivi: Karoo! Wake up! We have to get out of here while we can!
Morbius: Wake up, you stupid duck! Before that giant notices us!
Luffy: By the way, I’d like you to meet Morbius, Vivi and Karoo. Say hi to Dorry.
Morbius: He ratted us out!
Vivi: That’s great, Luffy! Just can’t shut up!
Dorry: Gyagagagaga! Tell you what. You’re all invited to my home! Gyagagagaga!

*With Nami and Usopp, the giant Brogy has brought them to his home. They lay motionless in a cave while Brogy cooks meat from the dinosaur killed.*
Brogy: Delicious dinosaur…
Usopp: How long do we have to lay here pretending to be dead?
Nami: I don’t know! This may fool bears and raccoons, but it isn’t worth a damn on giants!
*Usopp sees a large pile of human skeletons that scare him. Brogy turns his head towards them, thinking he heard them. But Nami and Usopp continue to play dead.*
Brogy: Must’ve imagined it.
Nami: We’re supposed to be dead, moron!
Usopp: I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it! There’s tons of skulls everywhere!
Nami: The next ones he takes will be ours.
Usopp: This is the end! He’s gonna pick our bones clean!
Nami: Shut up! Get a hold of yourself!
Usopp: Well, it’s true!
Nami: Enough! I’ll be damned if I’m just gonna sit around here and wait to die!
Brogy: ♫ Yummy, yummy, yummy ♫
♫ Dinosaur meat! ♫
♫ Yummy in my tummy, tastes so sweet! ♫
♫ Grill it on the fire, take a big bite ♫
♫ Eat all I can and sleep good tonight! ♫
*Nami and Usopp try to sneak away as Brogy is distracted cooking his food.*
Brogy: ♫ Yummy, yummy, yummy ♫
♫ Dinosaur meat! ♫
Nami: That way!
Usopp: Gotta go!
*Nami and Usopp run into the jungle and away from the giant.*
Nami: We made it! Amazing!
Usopp: Yeah… At least we got… far away… from that giant’s stomach!
*But they’re both confronted by a sabertooth tiger.*
Nami: But… we ran from the belly of a hungry giant right into the belly of a tiger.
*They run away from the tiger that chases them. But all three run away from a T. Rex that chases after them.*
Nami: Please! I don’t wanna die! I can’t die without my money! Please, someone help us!
*But their path is blocked by the arrival of Brogy. Whose presence scares the tiger and T. Rex away.*
Usopp: We’re dead! It’s like no matter what we do, we have no chance of escaping this cursed jungle! All we can do is choose who’s stomach we end up in!
Nami: We did everything we could, exhausted every option! It’s time we just accept our fate!
Brogy: Ah! I see the two of you are awake at last. The meat is done, so have some. In appreciation for the alcohol!

*At Brogy’s camp, the giant gives Nami and Usopp a large piece of dinosaur meat to eat.*
Brogy: Gabababababa! Go on, eat hearty my friends! It tastes delicious!
*Brogy begins eating some.*
Nami: I… I think I’ve lost my appetite.
Brogy: Don’t be shy now! Dig in!
Nami and Usopp: No, I don’t wanna eat!
Brogy: Huh? Dinosaur meat is sweet. I promise you, it’s quite tasty.
Usopp: Well. I guess he’s attempting to fatten us up before he kills us.
Nami: We’ll be plump and juicy.
Usopp: I never thought it’d end like this.
Nami: He’s a typical barbaric giant!
Usopp: We’re too young to die… Too young.
Nami: Maybe that’s the appeal.
Brogy: What a waste. It’s too bad. You don’t know what a scrumptious meal you’re missing.
Nami: We can’t eat until the Log resets. If we can keep our hunger in check and waistlines in check, we might survive.
Usopp: Yeah, but c I don’t know much longer I can hold out, Nami. If I don’t eat something pretty soon, I’m not sure I’ll have the strength or willpower to resist his offer.
Nami: Brogy, sir? Do you mind if I ask you a question?
Brogy: What’s on your mind, young lady?
Nami: Um, how long will it take to reset the Log on this island?
Brogy: One full year.
Nami: A year… If we waited that long to eat, we wouldn’t have stomachs to feed.
Usopp: It’s over. We have to admit defeat.
Brogy: Don’t tell me you’re gonna fall asleep again! Gabababababa!

*With Luffy’s group, they’re with the giant Dorry at his home where he cooked dinosaur meat to eat. Luffy has already eaten some and shares his group’s food with the giant.*
Dorry: Gyagagagaga!
Luffy: Hahahahaha! You sure know how to cook, giant!
Dorry: Why, thanks for the compliment. Your pirate goodies are excellent, too. My little friend. Although the portions are a little small. Gyagagagaga!
Luffy: Yeah, I know what ya mean! But the chef on my ship made it especially for this trip, so I’m glad you liked it. Cause otherwise, I’d have to beat you up.
Dorry: Was that a threat, shorty?
Morbius: Oh crap!
Dorry: Ha! I like you, little pirate! You’re really funny! Gyagagagaga!
Vivi: They’re becoming fast friends.
Morbius: That’s Luffy for ya.
Luffy: I don’t mean to pry, but why do you choose to live out here all by yourself? Don’t you have a village to call home?
Dorry: I came from a village, a place of many warriors called Elbaf. It once was home, but I no longer call it that.
Luffy: Why?
Dorry: There are certain rules in Elbaf, which must be obeyed.
Luffy: What kind of rules?
Dorry: For example, if a fight breaks out and neither side yields, judgment is handed down by Elbaf’s god. Whoever he seems to be righteous will be declared the winner and granted survival as well as divine protection.
Luffy: So Elbaf’s god decides? That doesn’t seem far.
Dorry: Fair or not, all that matters is this is our battleground. As on Elbaf, our god will decide who is righteous and worthy of winning both the duel and his life. Gyagagaga. We’ve fought for a century, but, Elbaf has yet to choose a champion. Gyagagagaga!
Luffy: You guys have been fighting for more than 100 years?!
Morbius: How old are you?!
Dorry: From a human’s point of view, 100 years may seem like a long time, but it isn’t considering a giant’s average lifespan is three times yours. Gyagagagaga.
Vivi: Even with all the time in the world, I’d think your desire would wane after 100 years of the same battle! At this point, is there any real animosity left between you? Or are you just fighting to fight?!

*Meanwhile, Sanji pulls the T. Rex he killed back to the Going Merry.*
Sanji: Well, I think there’s little risk of being outdone by Zoro with this one. I almost feel sorry for him. With this slab of meat, he doesn’t stand a chance!
*At the same time, Zoro pulls the triceratops back to the Going Merry.*
Zoro: I’ve beat him. With this haul, Sanji doesn’t have a chance of winning!
*They eventually cross paths with each other.*
Sanji: Hey, Zoro.
Zoro: Hey, Sanji.
Both: I am the winner!… You’ve lost, damnit!
*They begin comparing the dinosaurs they catched.*
Sanji: Look! As you can see, my catch is bigger!
Zoro: Moron! This catch is about weight. How much meat we bring it, not the length of the beast! And mine is obviously way beefier than yours!
Sanji: Ha! Who cares how husky your dinosaur is, all that matters is the amount that can be cooked! All that thing’s all bones. You’re carrying maybe four points of meat there!
Zoro: That thing you’re lugging around is nothing but muscle and skin!
Sanji: Ugh. This is pathetic. I’m not gonna waste my time arguing with you. Tell ya what, I’ll go capture another beast just to shut you up.
Zoro: Yeah, well if you’re gonna go after a different one, then so am I. I won’t let you cheat me out of my win, because of a dumb technicality.
*All of the sudden, one of the volcanoes on the island erupts.*
Sanji: I’ll tell you what. The next eruption of that volcano will signal the end of the competition. You have till then to secure your prey and return to the Going Merry.
Zoro: I can handle that, you’re on!

*Luffy’s group sees the explosion from the volcano.*
Luffy: Wow, that’s some explosion!
Dorry: Well then… It’s time to get going.

*Nami, Usopp and Brogy also see the explosion.*
Nami: What was that?
Usopp: An eruption.
*Brogy then tosses his food into fire with a strange look on his face.*
Usopp: I don’t like that look. He seems angry.
Brogy: Please forgive me, but there is something I must attend to.
Nami: What? You’re leaving?
Brogy: No choice. That’s the signal my opponent and I use to mark the beginning of our fight.
Nami: A fight?
Usopp: With who? Where? And more importantly, why?
Brogy: Why? I don’t remember! Gabababababa!

Dorry: And before we realized, it became our routine. That volcano is our marker. Wherever it erupts, we begin.
Morbius: Like an alarm clock.
Vivi: It’s senseless! How could you have so much hatred for someone that you’d fight them for a century?! What could’ve happened to make you this mad?!
Luffy: Vivi, that’s enough! That’s not what this is about, ok?
Dorry: You’re right. This is about honor.
*Dorry and Brogy charge at each other. Their clashing creating a massive shockwave across the island.*
Dorry: I have forgotten the reason for our brawl!
*Luffy falls onto the ground.*
Vivi: What’s the matter?
Luffy: This fight. It’s… wow!

*Meanwhile, on another part of the island, an Allosaurus approaches a small white house in the jungle. But tries to bite into the roof, but its teeth can’t penetrate it.*
Gem: Hey, if you’re done, get out of the way.
*Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine have arrived on the island.*
Mikita: Wait, I can handle this. Kyahahaha!
*The allosaurus charges at them, but Miss Valentine jumps into the air while her body weighs one kilogram.*
Mikita Ten thousand kilogram press!
*She then increases her body weight to ten thousand kilograms and crashes directly into the dinosaur, crushing it. They then walk into the house to find Mr. 3 and Miss Goldenweek.*
Galdino: Oh, hello, Mr. 5.
Gem: I’m impressed by the decor. You have a talent for turning even the most savage environment into a home. I admire you, which is why I feel compelled to remind both of you: this mission belongs to me and Miss Valentine.
Mikita: Rest assured we won’t slip up like we did last time.
Galdino: Slip up? That’s not why I’m here. Mr. 5, Miss Valentine, the simple fact of the matter is you are both weak. Don’t waste your energy pouting. It is what it is. Take a look at this. I’d like to thank you both for affording me an excuse to come to this island. I’ll enjoy the opportunity to hunt some truly big game.
*He gives them both a wanted poster of Dorry and Brogy.*
Gem: Dorry the Blue Ogre and Brogy the Red Ogre of the Giant Warrior Pirates.
Mikita: Everyone’s heard of them. It’s ancient history. Hey, this poster is over 100 years old!
Galdino: Well, those two legends are alive and well on this very island, battling over a century now. Back when that poster was new, the bounty on their heads was $100,000,000 apiece. $200,000,000 for the both of them.
Gem: $200,000,000 is an impressive sum. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re both giants.
Galdino: There’s a wise saying. Superior criminals are those who execute their crimes using superior intellect. All you have to do is follow my precise instructions. With a smidgeon of forethought and perseverance, we can find the solution to even the most gargantuan of obstacles.