Adventure Guys

Sanji: Whoa! This is great!
Nami: Whoo!
Morbius: Wweeeeee!
*Zoro hears a strange noise. Almost like the sound of a large animal.*
Zoro: Did you guys just hear something?
Nami: Huh, what’s that?
Zoro: That groaning sound. Didn’t you hear it?
Nami: It was probably just the wind. At this speed, everything sounds distorted.
*Morbius hears the noise too.*
Morbius: Now that you mention it, I hear it, too.
*Usopp looks through his goggles.*
Usopp: What is that?
Sanji: Nami! I see a mountain up ahead!
Nami: What?! That’s impossible!
Sanji: But it’s right there! I can see it!
Luffy: Who cares! Go!
Nami: After we pass the Twin Capes up ahead, there should be nothing but open ocean!
*But as they descend from the clouds, they see something large blocking the path at the end.*
All: Aaaaaahhhh!
Luffy: It’s a black wall!
Nami: No, it’s not!
Zoro: Then what is it?!
Usopp: It’s a whale!
*Upon a closer examination, they all see it’s a giant whale blocking the canal.*
Morbius: What the fuck!?
Usopp: What are we gonna do?!
Luffy: Should we fight?
Nami: You idiot, how are we supposed to fight a hundred ton whale?!
Usopp: Do something! Our path is blocked! How do we escape?!
Sanji: Calm down! If this creature looks like a wall to us, we must be a tiny speck to it!
Nami: That’s right! It’s entirely possible this thing isn’t aware we’re here!
Morbius: Just don't agress it, and we we'll be fine.
Zoro: We’ll run right into it if we don’t change course! Look, we can get by on the left! Port! Hard to port!
Usopp: The rudder’s broken!
Zoro: Do something! Anything!
Morbius: Like what?!
Luffy: I know, this has to work! It has to!
*Luffy runs off to the bottom deck.*
Nami: Hey! Luffy, what are you doing?!
*Zoro, Morbius, Usopp and Sanji try to steer the ship away from the whale. But it’s still speeding towards it.*
Usopp: This is pointless! It’s not gonna turn!
Zoro: Damn it!
Sanji: Don’t give up!
Morbius: Otherwise we’re all gonna die!
Nami: Is this the end?
*Below deck, Luffy fires the cannon to slow the ship down.*
All: The cannon?!
Luffy: Hehehe. Done.
*This works, as the ship slows down and stops. But it still collides with the whale slightly, causing the figurehead on the bow to break off.*
Nami: We’re screwed. This is it.
*The figurehead lands on the deck.*
Luffy: Aaaaahhhh! Hey, that was my special seat!
Morbius: … did his idea just worked?
*Everyone looks closer as the behemoth creature.*
Zoro: Damn! Let’s get out of here before it’s too late!
*They then begin rowing away from the whale.*
Usopp: Somebody mind telling me what the heck is going on?!
Sanji: It’s so big the cannonball didn’t even make it flinch! That or its reaction time is very slow!
Zoro: Who cares, at least we’re alive!
Morbius: Less talking, more rowing!
*The whale lets out a loud call, hurting everyone’s ears.*
Sanji: Ow, my ears!
Usopp: Just paddle!
Morbius: What?!
Zoro: We gotta get away from here!
*They begin rowing the ship past its eye. Nami notices that Luffy looks angry.*
Nami: Luffy?
Luffy: You think you can break my special seat and get away with it?! Take this!
*Luffy stretches his arm and punches the whale in the eye.*
All: You moron!
*The whale then looks down upon the ship, frightening everyone but Luffy.*
Luffy: I’m not through with you, there’s a lot more where that-
*Zoro and Usopp shut him up.*
Zoro and Usopp: Shut up before you kill us!
*The whale lets out another loud noise before opening its mouth wide, causing its mouth to fill with water and begin to drag the Going Merry inside.*
Nami: Please… No…
Morbius: Why did you have to piss it off, Luffy?! WHHHY!?!?
*As the ship gets pulled into the whale’s mouth, Luffy falls off the ship.*
Nami: Luffy!
Sanji: Luffy!
*But he stretches his arm and grabs onto one of its teeth and begins climbing up it.*
Luffy: I’m not gonna die!
*But it closes its mouth, swallowing the ship and everyone on it. Luffy however manages to climb on top of the whale.*
Luffy: Oh, man. Everyone’s been swallowed whole.
*He then starts punching it.*
Luffy: Hey, you! Can you hear me?! Spit it out, I want my friends! Damn you!
*The whale then begins to sink beneath the water.*
Luffy: Where do you think you’re going, jerk!
*He then begins stomping on it.*
Luffy: You give them back right now, you whale! Listen you big jerk, I’m not gonna ask again! Stop sinking, I mean it! My friends and me are on an important adventure! I can’t lose them! Give them back!
*As it sinks deeper and deeper, he sees a small hatch like one on a submarine and is confused. The whale then completely dives down into the ocean.*

*Meanwhile, everyone else was swallowed by the whale. Or maybe not. As they can still see the sky.*
Nami: So what do you think?
Zoro: I don’t know what to think.
Sanji: Is this even real?
Morbius: Yes… no… I don’t know…
Sanji: Cause I know exactly what I saw and felt. We were swallowed by the whale.
*They all see a tiny island with a house on it.*
Usopp: Is this a dream?
Zoro: Yeah, I’d say that’s a fair guess.
Morbius: One we must all be sharing.
Nami: Then what’s with this island and this house?
Zoro: Illusions?
Morbius: One crazy scenario after another.
*Suddenly, a giant squid rises out of the water.*
Nami: Um, that looks like…
All: A great big squid!
*Zoro and Sanji prepare to fight. But then, several harpoons are fired from inside the house on the island and hit the squid, killing it.
Zoro: Looks like somebody’s home.
Sanji: Hope it’s a person.
Nami: I’ve had it. Let’s go.
Usopp: Giant squids. Guys with harpoons.
Morbius: And Godzilla sized whales.
Usopp: And where’s Luffy?
Nami: Yeah, where is he?

*Luffy finds himself in a metal corridor after going through the hatch on the whale. He is completely dumbfounded by what he is seeing.*
Luffy: Wha… I don’t know much about whales but since when do they have doors and lighted hallways?

*Back with everyone else, they see someone approach the doorway.*
???: A ship, eh?
Usopp: Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! We should fire our cannon there! Now!
Sanji: No, hold on a second. Someone’s coming out.
*An old man exits the house.*
Sanji: It’s an…
Zoro: Flower?
Sanji: No, it’s a person.
Usopp: Are you sure?
Morbius: Looks like one to me.
Nami: That old man just killed a great king sized squid.
Sanji: The question is, why? Was he trying to save us? Or was he just fishing?
*They all stare at him as he walks along the island and stares right back. He then sits down in a lawn chair and reads a newspaper.*
Sanji: You gonna say anything?!
*He then looks back at them.*
Usopp: Hey, you wanna fight, we’ll fight! We got canons back here, you bastard!
Morbius: Yeah, bring it!
*The old man stares intensely at them.*
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
???: You try it and someone’s going to die.
Sanji: Yeah, and who’s that?
??? Me, of course.
Sanji: Excuse me?! You-
Zoro: Ease up there, bud.
Sanji: That little bastard’s mocking us!
Zoro: There’s a couple things we need to know. Where are we and who are you?
*The old man stares intensely at them.*
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
???: You’ve got some nerve, stranger. Only polite to introduce yourself before asking a question to someone you’ve just met.
Morbius: He’s got a good point.
Zoro: Alright, fair enough. I’ll go first. My name is-
???: But if you must know, my name is Crocus and I’m the lighthouse keeper of the Twin Capes. I’m 71 and a half years old. Gemini. My blood type is AB.
Zoro: I’ll kill him, I swear!
Sanji: Calm down.
Morbius: This guy is weird. And not because there’s a flower on his head. It's the beard that bothers me too.
Crocus: You’d like to know where we are. But your rude behavior leaves me disinclined to accommodate your curiosity except you’re trespassing on my private resort. Besides, I think it’s pretty obvious seeing as how you were eaten.
Usopp: So you’re saying we were swallowed by the whale! But since when did a whale’s stomach have clouds in it?!
Morbius: How is there any light inside this whale!?
Nami: Wait, if we’ve been eaten what’s gonna happen to us?! I don’t wanna be digested!
*Crocus stares intensely at them.*
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
Dun
All: Stop doing that!
Crocus: What’s wrong? Haven’t you ever heard of a running gag?
All: That was a gag?!
Crocus: The exit is over there.
*He points to a large metal door that looks like it’s sitting out in the middle of the water.*
All: We can get out?!
Nami: Ok, even if I believed whales’ bellies can have an exit door, nothing’s there but sky!
Morbius: Yeah, where is it supposed to take us? Is this really something like in Chronicles of Narnia?
Usopp: Something’s not right here.
*Usopp notices something about the seagulls flying in the sky. Or what appears to be a sky.*
Usopp: Wait, look at the sky! Those seagulls, nothing’s moving! They’re painted on! It’s a giant mural inside the whale’s stomach!
Nami: Huh?
Morbius: What kind of person paints a sky in a whale’s stomach and how does one do it?! How is there light!? Why is the whale not dead from paint poisoning!?
Crocus: Call it a doctor’s playful mind.
Usopp: You're not making any sense, you crazy old fool!
Morbius: Yeah, man! Stop acting so weird!
Zoro: Easy, don’t let him get to you.
Sanji: Yeah, just shut up.
Zoro: Nami, if that is an exit, then we need to get to it.
Nami: Agreed.
*Everything inside begins to shake inside. Making both the ship and island rock back and forth as if they were on a wave.*
Sanji: Oh, great! What now?!
Crocus: It’s begun…
Nami: Look! That’s no island, it’s some kind of ship! It’s made of iron!
Usopp: Yeah, that’s right! Cause we’re floating on a sea of stomach acid!
Sanji: That means a wooden ship wouldn’t fair well if it stayed here too long.
Morbius: Which means we need to get the hell out of here!
Usopp: Hey, what’s with this freaky whale?! Answer me, you old man!
Crocus: He’s very angry. These aftershocks are a result of hitting his head against the Red Line.

*The whale rams itself into the Red Line, damaging its head.*
Zoro and Sanji: What?!
Nami: That explains it, why he had such deep scars on its forehead. Not to mention the strange howling. It’s because he’s suffering.

*It rams into the Red Line again.*

Morbius: I figured it must’ve been from fighting giant squids or something… Look it up. That's a thing.
Usopp: It’s all starting to make sense. So what’s the geezer up to?
Nami: More than likely he’s trying to kill the whale from inside.
Crocus: It’s time.
Usopp: What a despicable way to kill something.
Morbius: How cruel.
Zoro: Ok, we solved the mystery of the whale. Now how about we figure out a way out of its belly before it digests us.
Sanji: We have no right to judge the old man nor do we need to save the whale. What we need to do is focus on getting the hell out of here.

*The whale continuously rams its head into the Red Line.*

*The shockwaves from the impact causes waves to rock the Merry.*
Usopp: We’re never gonna get anywhere if the waves keep surging like this! How can we escape if we can’t even move?!
Morbius: I don’t think we can politely ask it to stop.
Zoro: Our only chance is to paddle. Take the oars!
Nami: Whatever it takes. We have to find Luffy right away.
Zoro: I know he’s outside. I caught a glimpse of him flying out of the whale’s mouth.
*Crocus dives into the stomach acid.*
Nami: That old guy just jumped in!
Zoro: Huh? Is he insane? The acid will eat him alive.
*He swims through the stomach acid, passing by the remains of ships that were too swallowed by the whale.*

*All the whale’s ramming itself into the Red Line shakes Luffy throughout the corridor.*
Luffy: Aaaaahhh! So dizzy! Gonna hurl!
*He then crashes into an area that has a canal running through it.*
Luffy: That’s weird. The whale’s got a river inside it, too?
*The room then begins to tilt. Luffy tries to run but falls down as it tilts.*

*Meanwhile, a man and a woman with large guns are also inside the whale.*
Mr. 9: Things are looking up, my dear. We’ve been successful so far. Listen carefully, Miss Wednesday. Behind these doors lies the beast’s stomach and that troublesome geezer as well. He must be eliminated before he can interfere again. Remember, it’s all for the whale.
Miss Wednesday: Indeed, Mr. 9. This whale’s a precious creature. And one that holds the sweet promise of life for our town.

*Crocus then begins climbing up a ladder that leads to the exit door.*
Usopp: Guys, Crocus just resurfaced!
Zoro: Look, forget about the old guy. Our focus should be finding a way to open these doors.
Morbius: And how do you propose we do that?

Mr. 9: Ready, baby? Three, two, one and then we kick through the doors.
Miss Wednesday: Roger that, Mr. 9. I’m ready anytime.
*They hear someone screaming behind them.*
Miss Wednesday: What is that noise, Mr. 9?
Mr. 9: I don’t know, Miss Wednesday.
*Its revealed to be Luffy who’s running straight towards them.*
Luffy: Can’t stop!
*He then crashes into them and the doors. Making all of them flying the air.*
Crocus: Damn it, they’re back.
Morbius: Hey, look.
*Morbius and the others see Luffy, Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday falling straight into the stomach acid.*
Mr. 9: Not good! We’re gonna fall into stomach acid!
Zoro: Luffy?
Luffy: Zoro! Is everyone ok?
Morbius: More or less.
Luffy: Um, I could use a hand.
*After they fall into the stomach acid. Crocus goes through the door they crashed through.*
Usopp: Looks like Luffy’s not alone. Who do you think those two weirdos are with him?
Morbius: Woah…
Nami: Where’d that old geezer disappear to?
Zoro: Forget him. We need to save Luffy.

*Crocus walks down a hallway as the whale keeps ramming its head into the Red Line.*
Crocus: You’ve got to stop it, Laboon. You can’t afford to beat yourself up anymore. There’s only a tiny amount of sedative left. And until I can make some more, you’ll have to make nice!
*He then injects the whale with a sedative from inside it.*
Crocus: I’ve told you before, that wall divides the world’s oceans! It doesn’t matter how many times you hit it, it won’t break, not even for someone as mighty as you!
*The sedative makes the whale calm down and stop hitting the Red Line.*

*The waves within its stomach die down.*
Nami: I don’t claim to speak whale, but it seems to have calmed down a bit.
Zoro: Seems that way.
Morbius: What do you think happened?
Zoro: Beats me. Now, we saved your lives for the time being but you better talk and make it quick.
*Sanji looks lustfully as Miss Wednesday.*
Morbius: Sanji! Calm down! … at least save some for us.
Miss Wednesday: Mr. 9, these heathens are pirates.
Mr. 9: Yes, that’s painfully obvious, Miss Wednesday. But if we speak to their humanity and compassion, they should understand our plight. Maybe.
Crocus: You parasites are still here?! I’ve grown weary of this and for the last time! As long as I draw breath, you will not lay a single harmful finger on Laboon!
Usopp: He’s back again.
Luffy: Who’s the old guy?
Morbius: Some weirdo that’s living inside a whale for some reason.
Miss Wednesday: Hahahaha! You can’t bully us into abandoning our mission.
Mr. 9: We were sent to hunt this whale and that’s exactly what we’re going to do. And this time we won’t let you interfere! We’re about to give this whale a new blowhole! Now, fire, baby!
Miss Wednesday: Roger!
*They fire their large guns at the stomach of the whale. But Crocus dives in front of the projectiles and gets hit instead.*
Usopp: He just jumped straight into the line of fire!
Sanji: Was he protecting the whale?
Miss Wednesday: Hahahahaha! Your defiance is pointless.
Mr. 9: Go ahead, waste your time! But make no mistake, that hulking beast will provide meat for our town! Hahahahahaha!
Nami: What’s going on?
Morbius: I don’t know. But that blue haired woman… something about her…
*They continue laughing until Luffy punches them both in the head.*
Usopp: Um, what was that for?
Luffy: I just… wanted to hit em.

*Later, everyone sits on Crocus’s island like ship with Mr. 9 and Miss Wednesday tied up.*
Crocus: I thank you for saving my life, but I must ask why did you save my life?
Luffy: I wasn’t trying to save you. There was just something about those two I didn’t like.
Nami: Ok, I think it’s time we got some answers. Who are these guys and how did you end up in the whale?
Crocus: These two are from a nearby town looking for whale meat. If they caught him, Laboon would have enough to feed the townspeople for two or three years easy. All they’re concerned with is filling their fat greedy bellies.
Nami: Laboon?
Crocus: That’s the whale’s name.
Morbius: You named it?
Crocus: Not me. He’s a unique and magnificent creature. An island whale, one of the largest species, that can only be found in the West Blue. I won’t allow them to slaughter him for food. It’s a shame he’s stuck here so far away from his domain. You see, there’s a reason he keeps hitting himself on the Red Line and howling at Reverse Mountain.
Nami: There is?
Crocus: Yes, to put it one way. Inside the body of Laboon beats the heart of a human. He has most impatiently awaited and is eternally devoted to a certain band of pirates. Going on 50 long years now.