Adventure Guys

*In an abandoned warehouse in Russia, a general and some thugs are interrogating a spy tied to a chair by the name of Natasha Romanoff.*
General Luchkov: *Russian* This is not how I wanted the evening to go.
Natasha Romanoff: *Russian* I know how you wanted this evening to go. Believe me, this is better.
Luchov: *Russian* Who are you working for? Lermentov, yes?
*One of the thugs threatens to drop the chair over the edge.*
Luchov: *Russian* Does he think we have to go through him to move our cargo?
Natasha: *Russian* I thought General Solohob was in charge of the export business.
Luchov: *Russian* Solohob, a bagman, a front. Your outdated information betrays you. The famous Black Widow. And she turns out to be simply another pretty face.
Natasha: *Russian* You really think I'm pretty?
Luchov: *Russian* Tell Lermentov we don’t need him to move the tanks. Tell him he is out. Well…
*He walks over to a table filled with torture instruments. And proceeds to pick up a pair of large pliers.*
Luchov: You may have to write it down.
*One of the thugs gets a call on his cellphone and answers it.*
Thug: *Russian* It’s for her.
*Luchov answers the phone.*
Luchov: *Russian* You listen carefully-
Coulson: You're at 114 Solenski Plaza, 3rd floor. We have an F22 exactly 8 miles out. Put the woman on the phone or I will blow up the block before you can make the lobby.
*Luchov places the phone between Natasha’s ear and shoulder since she’s tied up.*
Coulson: We need you to come in.
Natasha: Are you kidding? I'm working!
Coulson: This takes precedence.
Natasha: I'm in the middle of an interrogation and this moron is giving me everything.
Luchov: I don't give everything.
Natasha: Look, you can't pull me out of this right now.
Coulson: Natasha. Barton's been compromised.
Natasha:… Let me put you on hold.
*When Luchov reaches for the phone, Natasha manages to headbutt him and begins beating up the thugs. Coulson hears it from his phone. She is able to free herself and after defeating the thugs, Natasha wraps a chain around the general’s leg and dangles him off the edge. She then collects her heels and starts to leave.*
Natasha: Where's Barton now?
Coulson: We don't know.
Natasha: But he's alive.
Coulson: We think so. I'll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big guy.
Natasha: Coulson, you know that Stark only trusts me about as far as he can throw me.
Coulson: No, I've got Stark. You get the big guy.
Natasha: Bozhe moi.

*In the slums of India, a little girl runs to a makeshift hospital that is treating people that are stricken by a sickness.*
Nurse: *Hindi* Who are you? Get out! There is a sickness here!
*A doctor by the name of Bruce Banner is treating patients infected by the illness.*
Little Girl: *Hindi* You’re a doctor. My father is not waking up! He had a fever and he’s moaning but his eyes are wide open!
Bruce Banner: *Hindi* Slow down. Is he like them?
*He points over to some patients. The little girl holds out some money.*
Little Girl: Please.

*The little girl leads Dr. Banner to a makeshift house at the edge of town. After avoiding some armed soldiers, they enter the house but the girl escapes through a window.*
Bruce: Should have gotten paid up front, Banner.
*Natasha suddenly appears.*
Natasha: You know, for a man who's supposed to be avoiding stress, you picked a hell of a place to settle.
Bruce: Avoiding stress isn't the secret.
Natasha: Then, what is it? Yoga?
Bruce: You brought me to the edge of the city, smart. I uh... assume the whole place is surrounded?
Natasha: Just you and me.
Bruce: And your actress buddy, is she a spy too? Do they start that young?
Natasha: I did.
Bruce: Who are you?
Natasha: Natasha Romanoff.
Bruce: Are you here to kill me, Miss Romanoff? Because that's not gonna work out for everyone.
Natasha: No. No. Of course not. I'm here on behalf of SHIELD.
Bruce: SHIELD. How did they find me?
Natasha: We never lost you, doctor. We've kept our distance, even helped keep some other interested parties off your scent.
Bruce: Why?
Natasha: Nick Fury seems to trust you. But now I need you to come in.
Bruce: What if I said no?
Natasha: I'll persuade you.
Bruce: And what if the... other guy says no?
Natasha: You've been more than a year without an incident. I don't think you wanna break that streak.
Bruce: I don't always get what I want.
Natasha: Doctor, we're facing a potential global catastrophe.
Bruce: Well, those I actively try to avoid.
Natasha: This is the Tesseract. It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet.
*She shows him a picture of it on her cellphone.*
Bruce: What does Fury want me to do? Swallow it?
Natasha: Well, he wants you to find it. It's been taken. It emits a gamma signature that's too weak for us to trace. There's no one that knows gamma radiation like you do. If there was, that's where I'd be.
Bruce: So Fury isn't after the monster?
Natasha: Not that he's told me.
Bruce: And he tells you everything?
Natasha: Talk to Fury, he needs you on this.
Bruce: He needs me in a cage?
Natasha: No one's gonna put you in a-
Bruce: STOP LYING TO ME!
*Bruce slams his hands onto a table, making Natasha pull out a hidden gun under it.*
Bruce: I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you'd do. Why don't we do this the easy way, where you don't use that, and the other guy doesn't make a mess? Okay? Natasha…
Natasha: Stand down. We're good here.
*Several armed soldiers outside lower the weapons.*
Bruce: “Just you and me?”

*In a SHIELD analytical room filled with monitors, Fury has a conversation with the World Security Council. A government organization headed by some World Government officials.*
Council Member 1: This is out of line, Director. You're dealing with forces you can't control.
Fury: You ever been in a war, Councilman? In a firefight? Did you feel an overabundance of control?
Council Member 2: You saying that this Asgard has declared war on our planet?
Fury: Not Asgard, Loki.
Council Member 2: He can't be working alone. What about the other one? His brother.
Fury: Our intelligence says, Thor is not a hostile. But he's worlds away, we can't depend on him to help. It's up to us.
Council Member 1: Which is why you should be focusing on phase 2, it was designed for exactly-
Fury: PHASE 2 isn't ready, our enemy is. We need a response team.
Council Member 1: The Avengers Initiative was shut down.
Fury: This isn't about The Avengers.
Council Member 3: We’ve seen the list.
Council Member 1: We're running the world's greatest covert security network and you're gonna leave the fate of the human race to a handful of freaks.
Fury: I'm not leaving anything to anyone. We need a response team. These people may be isolated, unbalanced even, but I believe with the right push they can be exactly what we need.
Council Member 2: You believe?
Council Member 1: War isn't won by sentiment, Director.
Fury: No, it's won by soldiers

*In a Brooklyn Gym, a singular person beats a punching bag. A man by the name of Steve Roger. Also known as Captain America. A hero from WWII now in the present day. His punches become more violent as he remembers how he was frozen and awoken in the present day. Almost everyone he knew was all but dead. Except his love, who is all but old now. With one final punch, he manages to destroy it. He then hangs another bag that’s easily 100 effortlessly and starts punching it.*
Fury: Trouble sleeping?
Steve Rogers: I slept for seventy years, sir. I think I've had my fill.
Steve: Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world.
Steve: I went under, the world was at war, I wake up, they say we won. They didn't say what we lost.
Fury: We've made some mistakes along the way. Some very recently.
Steve: You here with a mission, sir?
Fury: I am.
Steve: Trying to get me back in the world?
Fury: Trying to save it.
*He hands Steve a file on the Tesseract. Including weapons from 70 years ago made from it by.*
Steve: Hydra's secret weapon.
Fury: Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you. He thought what we think, the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs.
Steve: Who took it from you?
Fury: He's called Loki. He's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know.
Steve: At this point, I doubt anything would surprise me.
Fury: Ten bucks says you're wrong. There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment.
*Steve picks up his workout bag and a punching bag and starts walking away.*
Fury: Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?
Steve: You should have left it in the ocean.

*Out in the Atlantic Ocean, a red suit of high tech armor is cutting into a pipeline on the sea floor with a laser cutter. It then places an energy reactor that lights up. The suit then flies out of the water and into New York City. This is the Iron Man Suit, Mark 6. Created by brilliant inventor and owner of Stark Industries, Tony Stark.*
Tony Stark: You're good on this end. The rest is up to you.
???: You disconnected the transition lines? Are we off the grid?
Tony: Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy.
???: Well, assuming the Arc Reactor takes over and it actually works.
Tony: I assume. Light her up.
*He flies to the Stark Tower Building and sees it light up.*
???: How does it look?
Tony: Like Christmas, but with more... me.
???: We’ve gotta go wider on the public awareness campaign. You need to do some press. I'm in DC tomorrow. I'm working on the zoning for the next three buildings.
Tony: Pepper, you're killing me. Remember the moment? Enjoy the moment.
???: Then get in here and I will.
*Once he reaches the penthouse at the top of the building, a machine begins removing the armor piece by piece.*
JARVIS: Sir, Agent Coulson of SHIELD is on the line.
Tony: I'm not in. I'm actually out.
JARVIS: Sir, I'm afraid he's insisting.
Tony: Grow a spine, Jarvis. I got a date.
*Now inside, he sees his girlfriend and business partner, Pepper Potts.*
Pepper Potts: Levels are holding steady... I think.
Tony: Of course they are, I was directly involved. Which brings me to my next question: how does it feel to be a genius?
Pepper: Well, ha, I really wouldn't know now, would I?
Tony: What do you mean? All this came from you.
Pepper: No. All this came from that.
*She taps the Arc Reactor on his chest.*
Tony: Give yourself some credit, please. Stark Tower is your baby. Give yourself... twelve percent of the credit.
Pepper: Twelve percent?
Tony: An argument can be made for fifteen.
Pepper: Twelve percent? For my baby?
Tony: Well, I did do all the heavy lifting. Literally, I lifted the heavy things. And sorry, but the security snafu? That was on you.
Pepper: Oooooh.
Tony: My private elevator…
Pepper: You mean our elevator?
Tony: Was steaming with sweaty workmen. I'm going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren't I?
*She pours herself and Tony glasses of champagne.*
Pepper: Not gonna be that subtle.
Tony: I'll tell you what. Next building's gonna say “Potts” on the tower.
Pepper: On the lease.
Tony: Call your mom, can you bunk over?
JARVIS: Sir, the telephone. I'm afraid my protocols are being overwritten.
Coulson: Stark, we need to talk.
*Tony picks up his phone.*
Tony: You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark, please leave a message.
Coulson: This is urgent.
Tony: Then leave it urgently.
*The elevator then opens up to reveal Agent Coulson.*
Tony: Security breach. That's on you.
Coulson: Mr. Stark
Pepper: Phil! Come in.
Tony: Phil?
Coulson: I can't stay.
Tony: Uh, his first name is Agent.
Pepper: Come on in, we're celebrating.
Tony: Which is why he can't stay.
Coulson: We need you to look this over. Soon as possible.
*He holds out a tablet.*
Tony: I don't like being handed things.
Pepper: That's alright, 'cause I love to be handed things. So, let's trade.
*She pases her glass of champagne to Coulson, takes the tablet from him, then takes Tony's glass of champagne while passing the tablet over to Tony.*
Pepper: Thank you.
Tony: Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.
Coulson: This isn't a consultation.
Pepper: Is this about The Avengers? Which I...I know nothing about.
Tony: The Avengers Initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.
Pepper: I didn't know that either.
Tony: Yeah, apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, don't play well with others.
Pepper: That I did know.
Coulson: This isn't about personality profiles anymore.
Tony: Whatever. Miss Potts, got a minute?
Pepper: Half a mo.
*She and Tony walk over to a small work station.*
Tony: You know, I thought we were having a moment.
Pepper: I was having twelve percent of a moment. This seems serious, Phil's pretty shaken.
Tony: How did you notice? Why is he Phil?
Pepper: What is all of this?
Tony: This is, uh... This.
*He then projects holographic images of different profiles from the tablet. Several screens display different video clips. One shows Thor fighting the Destroyer. Another, a large green humanoid monster attacking military troops at a university. Another, Captain America fighting in WWII. And two more of Luffy fighting Smoker in Lougetown and Morbius fighting Milo in New York.*
Pepper: I'm going to take the jet to DC tonight.
Tony: Tomorrow.
Pepper: You've got homework. You've got a lot of homework.
Tony: Well, what if I didn't?
Pepper: If you didn't?
Tony: Yeah.
Pepper: You mean when you finished. Well, um...then.
*She whispers something in his ear. Tony gasps. Coulson looks away in embarrassment.*
Tony: Square deal. Fly safe.
*They kiss each other.*
Pepper: Work hard.
*As she and Coulson leave, Tony looks over a file on Loki and the Tesseract. After grabbing a hologram of it, Tony looks concerned.*

*An aerial vehicle known as the Quinjet flies over the ocean towards SHIELD HQ. Inside is Coulson, Steve Roger, Luffy and Morbius.*
Pilot: We're about forty minutes out from base, sir.
*Steve looks over some files while Luffy and Morbius stare at him.*
Morbius: I can’t believe my eyes. We’re witnessing living history, Luffy.
Luffy: Who is he thought? Just looks like a normal guy to me.
Morbius: You don’t know?! That’s Captain America! CAPTAIN FREAKING AMERICA! Practically the first super hero to ever exist.
Luffy: Really?! Cool! What’s his story?
Morbius: He was a soldier during WWII that got recruited for a program that injected a serum that could turn him into a super soldier. Giving him enhanced strength, speed and reflexes. He then went on to fight a rogue Nazi organization called Hydra led by a guy called the Red Skull.
Luffy: That sounds awesome! But wait, if he fought in WWII, shouldn’t he be like super old or something?
Morbius: Yeah. Excuse me, Mr. Captain America, sir. But how are you in still young despite being nearly 100 years old?
Steve: Well, to make it a long story short… I crashed a plane full of dangerous weapons into the arctic to save the world.
Luffy: Wow.
Morbius: Cryogenically frozen? I didn’t think it was possible. Even today. Well, I just want to say, it’s a pleasure to be meeting you. And to be working alongside you. Your story was one of the primary inspirations for developing a cure for my disease.
Steve: Well, it’s nice to meet a fan.
*He continues looking at the files. Focusing on the one about Dr. Bruce Banner.*
Steve: So, this Doctor Banner was trying to replicate the serum they was used on me?
Coulson: A lot of people were. You were the world's first superhero. Banner thought gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine's original formula.
Steve: Didn't really go his way, did it?
Coulson: Not so much.
*Luffy stretches his head and sees footage of the green humanoid monster Bruce supposedly turns into. Which creeps Steve out a little.*
Luffy: Woah! What is that thing?
Morbius: I’m guessing by the name Banner mister shady government agent mentioned, that’s the Hulk.
Luffy: The Hulk?
Morbius: Story is, he was trying to recreate the serum that made Captain America over here using gamma radiation. But it caused him to turn into that thing. Supposedly it happens whenever he gets angry or something.
Luffy: Weird. What happens if he’s sad? Or sleepy? Does he turn into anything else?
Morbius: I highly doubt it.
Coulson: Of course not. When he's not that thing though, guy's like a Stephen Hawking.
*Steve and Luffy look confused.*
Coulson: He's like a smart person.
Luffy: Sounds boring. I think I prefer the green monster.
Coulson: I gotta say, it's an honor to meet you, officially. I sort of met you, I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean, I was... I was present while you were unconscious from the ice. You know, it's really, it's just a... just a huge honor to have you on board.
Steve: Well, I hope I'm the man for the job.
Coulson: Oh, you are. Absolutely. Uh... we've made some modifications to the uniform. I had a little design input.
Steve: The uniform? Aren't the stars and stripes a little... old fashioned?
Coulson: With everything that's happening, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old fashioned.