Hazbin Hotel part 3
*Luffy follows the woman dragging Morbius to a large building on the outskirts of the city.*
Luffy: “Happy Hotel”?
*They enter the hotel.*
Luffy: Doesn’t look all that happy.
???: We’re still doing renovations.
*A woman in a red suit sees them enter.*
Charlie: Vaggie, you’re back! And you brought guests!?
Vaggie: Well… not exactly.
*She lets go of Morbius and goes to talk to Charlie in private. Morbius quickly wakes up.*
Morbius: AGH! Oh what a terrible dream… Huh? Where am I!?
Luffy: That one eyed lady brought us to this place called the Happy Hotel.
Morbius: What are you talking about?
*Suddenly, Charlie rushes over to them.*
Charlie: Hi, I’m Charlotte Morningstar! But you can call me Charlie!
*She shakes both of their hands.*
Charlie: And welcome to the Happy Hotel!
Morbius: uh… okay… I’m Mitchel Morbius.
Luffy: And I’m Luffy.
Charlie: So nice to meet you. We don’t get a lot of visitors.
Morbius: Oh that's a shame, why don't you just knock em’ out? MAYBE THEN YOU'LL GET MORE VISITORS.
Vaggie: Calm down. You didn't give me much of a choice since you were starting to leave.
Morbius: For good reason!
Charlie: Let's all calm down now, okay? This is Vaggie. My girlfriend/business partner.
Morbius: Business partner? What is this place?
Luffy: And where are we? Why does everyone here look weird?
Charlie: Oh, yeah. This is probably gonna be a lot for you to take in but…
Vaggie: You’re in Hell.
Luffy and Morbius:… What?
Vaggie: Not familiar with the concept?
Morbius: Well yeah, it's just. Not really hellish it's more like an alien world.
Luffy: Does this mean we really are dead?!
Morbius: WAIT. ARE WE ACTUALLY IN HELL!? DID WE DIE!?
Luffy: AAAAAHHH!!!
Morbius: I WAS TOO YOUNG. I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO HAVE SEX! I'M STILL A VIRGIN!
Charlie: Woah! Woah! Relax! Don’t worry, you two. You’re both very much alive. If you were dead, neither of you would look human.
Luffy: Phew. That’s good.
Morbius: No, it’s not, Luffy! We’re in Hell! We’re gonna be tortured for all eternity! Satan himself is gonna burn brimstone up our ass!
Vaggie: Whatever gave you that idea?
Morbius: I grew up in an orphanage run by nuns. They told me Hell is a place where you burn for your sins. I didn't believe them, but now I'm starting to!
Charlie: Don’t worry, Hell is a place where you go if you were bad in life. But you don’t get tortured for eternity.
Morbius: Why are you making it sound so casual!?
Charlie: Because… for your sake, let's say it is. I don't know what humans have been depicting hell, pop culture wise in your world. But here, think of it like a place where bad people live in a big city instead of eternal fire and torture. Like you said before, it's like an alien world. Just… filled with damned souls.
Luffy: Really?
Charlie: Well, at least this part of Hell. But don’t worry, Sinners aren’t allowed to leave this ring.
Morbius: This part of Hell? You mean there’s different parts to it like Dante’s Inferno?
Charlie: Yup. Hell is made up of seven rings of territory that are on top of one another, each named after one of the seven deadly sins. Right now, we’re in the Pride ring.
Luffy: Wait, did you say people can’t leave this place?
Vaggie: Well, Sinners can’t.
Charlie: You see, there are two types of demons. Hellborn and Sinners. Hellborn are demons that originate in Hell and are allowed to traverse through each of the rings. On the other hand, Sinners are demons that were once humans that died and aren’t allowed to leave the Pride Ring.
Morbius: Interesting.
Charlie: And each ring is ruled by a demon that embodies each of the sins. Belphegor for Sloth, Leviathan for Envy, Asmodeus for Lust, Mammon for Greed, Beelzebub for Gluttony, Satan for Wrath, and my dad Lucifer for Pride.
Morbius: Huh, I didn’t expect Hell to have a complex hierarchy and geological form, this seems like interesting stuff that if I could study and research more I can get a better understanding of how this world works but could also change the very way we see religion and concepts of the afterlife- WAIT. WHOSE YOUR FATHER!?
Charlie: Um… Lucifer?
Morbius: Oh god! You’re the daughter of the devil himself!?
Luffy: What’s so bad about that?
Morbius: LUFFY. The freakin’ DEVIL. He's the whole reason evil was brought into the world! He was banished from heaven, spreads evil across the world, and eats souls for breakfast!
Charlie: I’m not like that. And neither is my dad.
Morbius: I find that very hard to believe
*Morbius starts to get Luffy to back away*
Charlie: Well, perhaps I can convince you with a language everyone understands. Razzle! Dazzle!
*Two flying little goat demons appear next to Charlie. Scaring Morbius but Luffy seems curious.*
Morbius: Wait, what?
*Charlie prepares to sing.*
Morbius: Oh god, is she going to sing!?
Vaggie: Yup, get ready.
Charlie: ♫Hello, friends, my name is Princess Charlie♫
♫Don't worry, I'm totally not one of those evil demons♫
♫You've read about in fairy tales or seen in the movies♫
♫And there's no reason at all to be suspicious of me♫
♫I won't lie (not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know)♫
Morbius: Not gonna lie, it’s very suspicious that you’re leading in with this.
Charlie: ♫I'm so not a villain, I have zero evil plans♫
♫No ulterior motive, just wanna help where I can♫
♫I wanna shower you with gifts♫
♫'Cause I'm selfless and sweet♫
♫So there's no reason at all to be suspicious of♫
♫Princess Charlie♫
♫The least evil demon in history♫
♫And if you do not believe me♫
♫I totally won't imprison your family♫
♫'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me♫
Morbius: I'm getting the opposite message…
Vaggie: No offense, Charlie but I think you’re giving them super evil vibes.
Charlie: ♫Luffy, do you like pirates?♫
♫Cause I think they are great♫
Luffy: ♫How’d you know that?♫
♫Being a pirate is my one defining trait!♫
Charlie: ♫Well, now my good friend♫
♫You can build the crew of your dreams♫
♫Sailing around the world as a team!♫
Vaggie: I don’t think that’s gonna work-
Luffy: ♫“Vaggie”!♫
♫Haven't you heard?♫
♫There's no reason at all to be suspicious of her♫
Vaggie: You’re convinced just like that?
Morbius: Well, I’m not buying it.
Charlie: ♫Morbius, a vampire without blood, that’s so cruel♫
♫It's like a spider without a web♫
♫Or a queen without a fool♫
Morbius: How the fuck did you know I’m a vampire?
Charlie: ♫I’ve got a surprise for you♫
♫A sea of blood♫
♫With as far as the eye can view♫
Morbius: Her story checks out. She’s cool, not evil.
Charlie: ♫Here's some other adjectives♫
♫People use to describe me♫
♫Unduplicitous, unmalicious♫
♫Unconniving, unnasty♫
Vaggie: You're clearly just adding "un" to words that describe demons, Hon.
Charlie: Who? Me?
♫I'm Princess Charlie♫
♫The most least evil person you'll ever meet♫
♫And if you make eye contact with me♫
♫I totally won't have you executed immediately♫
♫'Cause that'd be evil (evil)♫
♫Evil (evil), evil, and that's so not me♫
*Luffy and Morbius applaud Charlie.*
Morbius: Bravo!
Luffy: You sing very well.
Charlie: Thanks. It’s something I like to do a lot.
Luffy: No way you can be evil. You're okay!
Morbius: But there’s still one thing on the back of my mind. Just what exactly is this building?
Luffy: Is it a hotel? It says Happy Hotel outside.
Charlie: Well…
*She hesitates to answer.*
Charlie: Do any of you have a dream you wish to achieve?
Morbius: Yeah. To save people like me. And others who suffer my disease.
Luffy: And I’m gonna be king of the pirates.
Charlie: Gee, those are some big dreams.
Luffy: Do you have one?
Morbius: It’s fine, you can tell us.
Charlie: Well, my dream… is to help rehabilitate sinners in Hell.