Talking in Space Part 1
Once they’d made the jump to hyperspace, safe from any pursuit, their group met in the main hold. The shock of the attack on Taris was affecting everyone with the exception of Canderous, who looked bored. He was a veteran of the Mandalorian wars, so he’d probably participated in such attacks, Steven thought darkly.
It was Konshu who broke the awkward silence. “We must go to Dantooine. Are there any reasonable objections?” He sounded tired and was still bent slightly as if in pain. “Captain El’Faouly, Steven Grant and myself will continue our mission from there.” He mustered the energy to put a little venom into Steven’s name.
“[I will accompany Layla on your mission.]” Zaalbar said.
“Why?” They’d never really explained the mismatched pair’s presence to Konshu. “You do not know what it is.”
“He swore a life debt to Layla.”
“Commendable.” It was a surprisingly positive reaction.
“Which also means Mission is going to be staying with us.” Layla added. “Which is not a problem at all. She more than proved herself on Taris.” There was a warning note in her voice, daring Konshu to object.
He didn’t protest, but he did sigh in a very meaningful way. “Our goal is to discover the source of the Sith’s resources. They have been carrying on this war for years without a clear source of ships and droids, of which they somehow have a disturbingly large amount. If you are willing to look after a child while accomplishing such a task, it is your own choice.” Mission was in too much shock to rise to the Jedi referring to her as a child.
Steven, meanwhile, was extremely relieved someone had finally said it. Now he wouldn’t have to ask Layla in private and look like a madman. Or an idiot.
“Are we saddled with you as well, Mandalorian?” Konshu shot at Canderous.
“I’ll look for work on Dantooine.” The man said. “If there’s none, I’ll stick with the Ebon Hawk. The Sith bombed Taris because you were there, yeah? That means you attract trouble. Might get a good fight or two if I stay around.” Steven hoped they could dump the man on Dantooine, whether he found employment or not.
“Of course. A fight is all Mandalorians seek.” Konshu’s voice was filled with distaste.
Canderous snorted and muttered something that ended in “- pseudo pacifist.” And stalked off to the swoop hanger.
“I’ll be in the cockpit.” Layla said, rubbing her face.
“Oh no. You need to sleep! Even I got some rest back on Taris before… before. You haven’t slept in almost two days.” Steven spoke up. “You set the course already. Let one of us watch it.”
“But I-”
“He is right. You will be the one landing this vehicle when we arrive, so you should recover.”
She looked back and forth between the two of them, then shook her head in defeat. “I’ll be in the starboard crew’s quarters. Since this thing was that bastard Davik’s pleasure cruiser, it’s all fitted out. Softer beds than the Endar Spire, probably.” She left the main hold too, shoulders slumped with exhaustion and sorrow.
Zaalbar took Mission to explore the ship, probably wanting to take her mind off recent events, leaving Steven alone with Konshu. The human shifted uncomfortably, weight on one foot then the other before remembering he’d promised Layla someone would be watching the navigation computer and retreated to the cockpit. He sat in the co-pilot’s chair, watching the rush of blue-white light outside the window.
To his disappointment, Konshu followed him. He was too tall to sit in one of the chairs and so sat on the floor again, cross legged. He was still at Steven’s eye level, watching him. As long as he doesn’t try and get in my head again, I can live with it. Steven told himself.
“... What are your thoughts on the Sith bombardment of Taris?” Konshu’s question came as a surprise. What relevance could Steven’s opinion have?
“It’s… it’s too awful for words. Killing all those people, including their own soldiers still in the city, and for what?” He shook his head.
“To kill me. All that death to kill one Jedi.” Konshu said it matter of factly and Steven remembered what Canderous had said; because you were there. “They were ordered to attack the Endar Spire in order to stop our mission from being completed. When they could not locate me or my body, Ammit must have decided Taris wasn’t important enough to keep.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Steven’s tone was flat. Confusion was seemingly his natural state, but something about the way Konshu was probing him for a reaction was irritating him.
“Because I want to know your opinion on the Sith tactics.”
“What for? I know for a fact you don’t respect me. You don’t think anything I might say would have value.” He didn't know where the confidence to say this came from.
“Just answer the question. I am curious, since it seems I will not be rid of you until the mission is finished.” Konshu growled.
“I think it’s horrible! What else do you want? Cruel, wasteful, monstrous.” Steven’s voice cracked and he turned away to look out the windows again. He had to admit to himself that it was strange Konshu didn’t intend to leave him on Dantooine, pick up a qualified crew and head off with Layla to do… whatever they were supposed to be doing. “Stopping them, however it happens, is the most important thing. I’ll help however I can.”
Konshu actually laughed, making Steven jump. It was not a nice laugh. “You did not even know the object of the mission until five minutes ago.” His voice was low, not carrying to other parts of the ship. “You cannot remember why you were on the Endar Spire. It would be amusing to see how ‘helpful’ you could be as you are now, if lives didn’t depend on the result.”
Steven swallowed hard. He’d been doing his best not to let his memory problems get in the way or become noticeable to those around him. He’d thought he was doing a good job.
“Can you see in my head?” He sounded small to his own ears and hated it. Was that what Konshu had done when they first met? What all had he seen.
“There isn’t much to see.” What a complete asshole. “Just little fragments of a man. The mind of a worm.”
I said not to let him push us around. He felt detached from that thought. It didn’t feel… didn’t sound like a thought, more like a voice. He could never stand up for himself, it seemed, but ‘us’ was a different matter. He couldn’t fathom why thinking one word differently put steel in his spine, but it did.
“Well, that was just uncalled for.” Steven straightened up in his chair glaring at Konshu. “Did you follow me in here to have a discussion or just act like a wanker? Because if it’s the second one, I would’ve thought a *Jedi* had better things to do with their time. You’ve been taking my existence really personally since we met and it makes you seem down right pathetic.” He stood up, stepping around Konshu. “If you can’t be pleasant, you can just watch the nav computer by yourself.”
“Steven Grant, I had more to discuss with you. About the bombing.”
“Too bad. Correct your attitude and try again later.” He stomped off, wanting to get some distance from the other.
***
Steven found Mission alone in the port crew’s quarters. He’d passed Zaalbar in the hold, checking/eating some supplies. The Twi’lek girl didn’t look up at him when he came in, looking down at her empty hands, limp in her lap.
“Are you okay, Mission?” He asked, taking a few steps closer.
“Huh? Sorry, I was just thinking about Taris… I can’t believe it’s gone. I grew up there and now… now it’s just gone. Along with almost everybody I know.” Her face was blotchy, but any tears had already dried.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say.” Ammit will pay. They all will.Unhelpful. Not going to say that.
“I don’t think there’s anything to say.” She replied dully.
“We’ll stop it from happening again.” He sat next to her on the cot, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder. He didn’t want to consider that they would fail or that, while they were wandering around space looking for a hypothetical Sith resource base, that the fleet would bomb another planet’s surface into a smouldering wasteland.
“... I guess I’ll try and focus on that.” It would be good for her to have a goal. “Like I used to tell my brother, fast talk and slick words don't get the job done.”
“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Oh please tell me he wasn’t back on Taris…
“I don’t mention him often. It can be a little… embarrassing. People don’t understand, ya know?” Well, at least that doesn’t sound like he’s freshly dead. Small miracles.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” He was curious, he had to admit, and maybe it would be best to keep her talking rather than leave her to grieve Taris in silence.
“Oh no, I want to. Zaalbar is a great listener, but you’re pretty easy to talk to.” She smiled. “I never knew my parents, my brother always looked out for me. He's the one who brought me to Taris. I was just a kid, only five. But I remember the trip – if you could call it that. We were stuffed inside a packing crate in a star freighter's cargo hold with just enough food and water to make the trip. Not exactly first class, you know?”
Steven winced in sympathy. Just five years old… How much older was Griff? “Were you running from something?” Back during the Mandolorian wars, which Mission would’ve been born during, plenty of people were trying to leave their home planets to get further from the conflict.
“I don't know the whole story – I was pretty young. But my brother owed a lot of money. Might even have been a few arrest warrants out for him, I don't know. The only way to get off the planet was to smuggle ourselves out. I mean, I don't want to make it sound like we were criminals… well, maybe my brother was.” She winced when she said it, shaking her head so hard her head tails flopped. “See, this is why I don't like to talk about it. It makes Griff sound worse than he really was. My brother had his problems, but he always looked out for me.”
This seemed to call for a diplomatic answer. “Everyone has problems.” He said slowly. “But, out of curiosity, what were his?”
“He gambled. And drank. And he was always borrowing money for his latest get rich quick scheme. But he had a good heart, you know?” Sounds like a bit of a low life, to be honest. Steven thought. “He taught me how to survive. He showed me how to slice into a computer's security system; how to get inside a locked building without the entrance codes, and how to spot a wealthy mark for a quick shell game.” She counted off her questionable skills on her fingers. Steven knew he couldn’t exactly look down on Griff for teaching her such things, since they had allowed her to survive and help Steven and Layla.
“Well… Those are all useful skills.” He managed.
She snorted. “You’re really bad at hiding your ‘I’m scandalized’ face. Just thought I’d mention it.” She did a passable impression of his accent and he frowned at her, without any real displeasure behind it. Her smile faded after a moment. “I really miss him since he left. I keep hoping he'll come back some day. He promised me he would. And at least he wasn’t on Taris when… you know.”
“Why did he go?” Steven asked gently.
Mission’s brows snapped together. “Lena.” Her voice carried an impressive amount of venom. “She’s the one who took him from me. Stupid space tramp-” Her hands clenched into fists and she seemed about to launch into a tirade, but then stopped herself. “I don’t wanna talk about Griff anymore. Or Lena.” She followed up the unknown woman’s name with a false gag.
“Well alright then.” Steven’s gaze redirected from her face, down to the floor. He could feel her looking at him intently.
“I’d rather talk about Taris.” Well, there was a surprise. He’d been trying to distract her from that topic. “Right before the attack, you knew it was coming. You and the high and mighty bird-head both knew.”
He started at that, meeting her dark, sharp eyes. “No. No, I just had a bad feeling all of a sudden. I didn’t know the Sith were going to bomb the city.”
“A ‘feeling’ so bad that you and the literal Jedi were desperate to get outside right then?”
“Right.” He put a good bit of force behind the word. He didn’t want to think about this. He wasn’t *supposed* to think about this. Wait, what?
“And you knew Layla was coming. You picked out a random ship you’d never seen before as being the one with our friends on it.” She pressed, frown deepening. “Konshu agreed with you then too.”
“I was just desperate for a way out.” He said dismissively. “I could’ve been totally wrong, just wishful thinking.”
“But then it wasn’t. And Konshu doesn’t strike me as the wishful thinking type.”
Steven rubbed his face with both hands. He was getting a headache. Again. “What are you trying to say?” He asked tiredly.
“That you’re like him somehow. Or you’re not telling us everything.”
Steven jerked up at that suggestion, indignant. “I’m not keeping secrets! I don’t have any.” You’re shit at keeping them too.Stuff it, me.
“Then maybe, on Dantooine, find a Jedi to ask about it.” She wasn’t going to suggest he talk to Konshu.
“You’re being silly.” Steven stood up. He felt anxiety boiling in his stomach and didn’t know why. Jedi were very interesting to read about and maybe he’d had childhood day dreams of being one, but for some reason, the very suggestion of Force sensitivity as an adult was activating his fight or flight response.
“Why would it hurt to ask?” She snapped. Then something very strange happened. Steven’s whole body shuddered and she thought he might fall. He steadied himself on the wall, shaking his head as if trying to clear it.
“You know? You’re right. I’ll ask. Find somebody nice and qualified and ask. Good idea. Sure. I’m just going to go now.” Mission had spent much of her childhood learning to observe the people around her, pick up on their moods, social background and possibly compromised awareness. She could tell when someone was faking an accent. The look he was giving her was… unsettling. Mission decided right there that she should not let this man know how unconvincing he was.
“Go where?” She did her best to keep her tone consistent, calmer than when she’d demanded he talk to a Jedi, but not shutting down so much he’d get suspicious. “To make goo-goo eyes at Layla? It’s not like there’s a lot to do on this ship.”
“Another great idea, see ya later, kid.” He winced. He’d messed up the goodbye and they both knew it. ‘Steven’ fled and Mission shuddered, hugging herself. She wanted to go find Zaalbar. He was usually willing to listen to her opinions about the sentients they encountered.
Steven blinked, halfway down a hall. He felt dizzy for a moment and his head still ached, but he wasn’t anxious anymore. Not on the verge of panic for no good reason. He’d said goodbye to Mission after she was feeling better and then… What was I doing next?Going to see Layla.Oh good.