Melinda May
She looked at me a moment before speaking.
"Hello Rebekah, come in." I walked in with her and she shut the door before leading us to her small living room.
"Feel free to set down, Would you like anything?"
"I'm alright thank you. I'm not going to beat around the bush though. How are you?"
"I don't really know."
"Phil was your best friend you are allowed to feel however it is you might be feeling."
"I don't know how to feel. I don't know if I can anymore."
"I miss him. I went by his office waiting to see him and it took a moment to remember that he is gone."
"You were there when it happened right?"
"In a way yes. I was on my way to him when I passed out."
"What do you mean you passed out?" There was the overprotective May I knew with me.
"When the explosion happened I hit my head and then passed out. I was on my way to find Phil and everything was spinning and then it was dark. When I woke up I was in a med bay and then dad told me Phil was gone."
"They didn't say that you got hurt."
"It was not too bad, no concussion or anything luckily. I just pushed myself too fast."
"I should have been there. I could have helped. I could have helped Phil and you."
"It's not your fault. At first, I kept running all of it through my head over and over trying to figure out what I could have done differently. If I would have gone to him sooner instead of listening to the others fight. Or if I didn't pass out. Then it was brought to my attention that Phil would have had it no other way. Everything he did was to keep people safe but he would do anything to keep me safe. Just like he would for you. After everything that happened with you, Phil was different and I didn't understand until last night why he became so much more protective over me and why he got so mad when I talked to Thor.
Then I realized that he was trying to keep me safe from anything he did not know or understand yet because what happened with you scared him. Everyone knew Phil loved you and watching you go through everything you did was so hard because it was something he could not fix or make better. I know you have shut people out because you were hurting and all but right now I know you are hurting differently. We both are and I don't know If I can take you shutting me out again right now. Because as amazing as everyone is being and trying to make this all better for me none of them understand the way that you do. The way that you will.
Though if you don't want this then just say so and I will let you greave anyway that you need to and I won't bother you again. I just needed to know."
It was quite a moment before she finally spoke.
"I have not been very good for you if you think for one moment I would not want you around. Rebekah, I have loved you from the time you were a little girl and will love you my whole life. What Phil and I may or may not have had never would change how either of us would ever feel about you in our lives. I feel guilty for not being there because I did push you all away and now I can't get that time back and I don't get to tell him everything I needed to tell him. But I can tell you that nothing that has happened has been your fault at all. Phil would have done anything for you and everyone knows it. If you had been hurt trying to protect him that would have destroyed him. I know I pushed you away and I am sorry I did so because you are a light for a lot of people including me. I want to spend time with you like we use to and I want to be here for you just like you are always there for me."
"I think he always knew how you felt. I think everyone besides the two of you knew how you felt about each other. Did you know there were bets on how long it would take you guys to get together? Why do you think the three of us went undercover as much as we did. Everyone knew you both cared for one another and he knew you cared for him."
"Who all was on this bet?"
"Classified."
"I can't believe Phil taught you that."
"Well, you know how he was."
"Yes, and he adored you and spending time with you."
"Well, I was always happy to listen to his stories and geek out over history and Captain America. You know being Howard Starks granddaughter and all."
"I also heard that you have been spending time with a certain someone lately."
"You know I have. I was with him before I came here." I pulled the cards out and showed her.
"I even had him sign these for Phil. I know he won't get to enjoy them but I know it is what he would want and it was something I could do." She smiled at them and then at me.
"He would have loved this."
"I hope so, I am going to miss him so much. I don't know what we will do without him around all of the time."
"He will always be a part of you though. That love he had for you and you for him won't go away. It will always be with you and everything he taught you will be with you as well."
"So what do we do now?"
"We find ways to honor the person he was and don't let people forget the amazing men he was."
"How serious were you about spending more time together?"
"Very, why?"
"Well I don't need to be anywhere tonight and I don't need to be home until tomorrow so…"
"You want to sleep over?"
"Only if you are alright with it."
"I can get us some Chinese and we can have a movie night, just like we use to do."
"That sounds pretty amazing to me."
"Does your father know where you are?"
"He thinks I'm with Nat."
"Rebekah."
"What? It's not like he knows you and he would be all weird about me spending the night. Although I have spent a lot of nights at your place. Plus it's not like I'm a baby and I am completely safe with you. Unless you plan on letting something happen to me."
"No I don't, we both know I will make sure you are safe. Although from what I have heard and seen you are doing pretty well. While I don't like that you are keeping things from your dad like this I do understand that he does not know me and would be a little hesitant about letting you be here. So I will let that go for now. On the baby thing, you may not be one anymore but you will always be that sweet little girl to me and so many others. All we want is what is best for you."
"I know and I also understand that you will always see me that way. But I also hope that people can see that I'm capable of more than what they are willing to give me. I think I have been handling things as well as I can as well as anyone would. I just want you all to be proud of me."
"Love we already are proud of you. You are strong, brave, and kind. You are everything all of us thought you could be and more. Never for one moment think that we are not proud of you and the amazing young lady that you have become."
"Thank you. You know I am glad that mom brought you into my life. You are one of the last ones left now. Please don't leave me, Mel, I don't want to lose you too."
"O Love, I'm not going anywhere. Come here." She pulled me to her side and held me as the tears slowly fell down my face.
"I know all of this is hard and I know I have been shut off from you but I am here for you from now on. I have you love, I promise you." We sat there for a while just feeling and having one another be there for each other. I had missed Mel so much and was grateful to just be here with her. As we sat there she softly ran her fingers through my hair and before I knew it I fell asleep.
As I woke up I looked around and everything started to come back to me.
"You haven't been sleeping well," Mel said as she continued to play with my hair.
"I guess I haven't but then again this is how you always got me to fall asleep when I was with you."
"How long have you been having a hard time sleeping?"
"I don't really know, I guess off and on. The last week has been the hardest."
"Because of what happened?"
"I don't know maybe. Sometimes in my sleep, it's like I relive it all and then I see him and there is nothing that I can do. Fury told me not to watch the video."
"But you did anyway and now you can't unsee it."
"Ya, I know he was trying to protect me but I wanted to know if there was something that I could have done so all of this didn't happen. I just don't know what to do anymore."
"I know, I am here for you and I will help you in any way that I can."
"As close as Phil was with others and as much as they may have been friends, none of them understand like you do how I am feeling with all of this. I know they all want to help but at the same time I also just want to be sad in my feeling for a little while. Is that bad of me to feel that way?"
"Not at all. You are allowed to feel any way you do right now. You and Phil had a special connection and that doesn't just go away."
"Like you and Phil had one?"
"I don't know, I think a part of me always cared more than I allowed myself to but it's too late now."
"I always thought that you were amazing together and you both always made sure I felt loved and cared for no matter what. I am a pretty lucky girl to have so many people around me that care about me."
"Don't you ever forget that. Are you ready for dinner?"
"What time is it?"
"A little after 5."
"I was asleep longer than I thought I was. Ya, let's get some dinner now."
"I will be right back do you want your usual?"
"That sounds good."
"I will go call in the order." I watched her walk out of the room and then pulled out my phone.
I sent a quick message to Nat letting her know I was fine and staying the night at Melinda's and I would call her later. Then sent a message to Steve to let him know I was doing good and I would call him tomorrow. Luckily he was slowly getting better at texting.
By the time I was done with that Melinda was done and had walked back in.
"Food is ordered and should be here in about 45 mins, is everything alright?"
"Yes, I was just letting Nat know that I was here and fine."
"She worries about you."
"More than she needs to, and a lot more than normal."
"Well, a lot has happened lately as well. You all watched a friend die and that changes things. They knew how close you were and they want to make sure that you are doing alright because they care about you."
"I know it will just be a little to get used to it."
"We are all here for you."
"I know Melinda and I love that I have all of you. Plus it's nice just to spend time with you again. I have missed this."
"I know I shut myself off from you and everyone but I promise I will try to be here for you more. I want to help you in every way I can."
"Well you are here now and I'm glad that you are."
There was a knock on the door and Mel went to answer getting the food while I got drinks for us both.
We set the food and drinks on the table in the living room before we both set down to eat.
"You still have red cream in your fridge?"
"I like to keep some around for you, plus after Fury told me I figured you would be coming around. So I might have been ready for you."
"Well thank you, it kind of feels like old times."
"Of course sweetie, so are you going to tell me?"
"Tell you what?"
"A certain Avenger."
"Nat is doing alright, all things considering."
"Not who I meant."
"Clint's doing well."
"Rebekah"
"Dad's well dad, he and Bruce have become besties. Thor is dilling with Loki, Fury and the others are dilling with clean up.
"What about the one you were with earlier?"
"Who told you Nat, Clint, Fury, Phil?"
"Phil might have mentioned something the last time we spoke."
"I guess that should not surprise me. When Steve woke up I gave him some info on his friends and then told him if he had any questions feel free to reach out to me and I would help in any way I could."
"So you gave him your number?"
"Yes, a few days later he reached out and asked me if we could meet up. We did and he asked how much I knew about the others and so I told him things about all of them. He told me stories as well. After that day we spent a lot of time together and it really was just to help him at first, and then."
"Then what?"
"Everyone keeps asking what is going on with us and I don't know what to tell them. Truth is I don't know what to do. I have fallen for him, I didn't plan on it but did. He's an amazing guy who makes me laugh, who's kind and sweet. He sees me for me and not someone that everyone wants me to be. I just don't know anymore because I know that he doesn't feel the same about me and that's alright. But everyone wants to know and I don't know what to say. Do I say that yes I have completely fallen for this guy who is still in love with another woman and was in ice for almost 70 years, or do I say something else like nothing is going on because there isn't but I want there to be? Mel, I don't have any idea what to do."
"You know there are things that I wish I would have said when I had the chance and I didn't. I wish now that I could, don't hold back on how you feel because you are afraid of how it will end. It doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks all that matters is that you are happy. Follow your heart it always leads you to where you need to go Rebekah it always has and always will. That's what makes you so loved because you have a heart of gold and you do what is best for others. Don't feel like everything has to be perfect just yet. Give yourself some time because life is short just enjoy your life."
"I'm glad I have you, Mel, you just make things better at times."
"Well, I am so glad I have you." She said before we sat back and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder and we were just quiet for a while just enjoying the moment and how it felt like it used to before everything kept falling apart.
"Mel"
"Yes, sweetie?"
"I love you"
"I love you, sweet girl."
After that, we decided to start a movie. So we cleaned up from dinner and then sat down for a movie night.
It was easy to get lost in the movie curled up in a blanket by Mel just as we had done so many times before. Slowly I let the comfort help me drift off to sleep.
The next time I woke up I could see the first rays of morning light coming in and Mel walking to me from the kitchen.
"Did you sleep well?"
"I did thank you, how about you?"
"The best I have for a while. You want to do Tai Chi?"
"That sounds nice." We cleaned up the living room before starting.
Once we finished we made our way to the kitchen and I made us some breakfast and we set down to eat. Made small talk as we ate.
Helping clean up we finished quickly and we got ready to head out for work.
"I enjoyed this, thank you for being here Mel."
"Of course, anytime you need me I am here. I have missed spending time with you."
"I have as well. Have a good day at work."
"You too sweetie, be safe."
"I will, love you."
"I love you." With a quick hug goodbye, we both went to our vehicles to head out. I made a promise to myself that I would try to spend more time with Mel and try to help bring her back. After last night I knew that she was still in there somewhere and I would help to bring her back.