Natasha let out a shuddering breath as she sat on the bed. Their bed. Her and Maria’s bed. Maria, her wife, was gone. Thanos snapped and suddenly she lost everybody. Maria, Nick, Yelena, Laura, the list goes on and on. Her family, her support system was just gone and she couldn’t do anything about it. Natasha had watched the street cam footage of the street Maria was seen on. Maria had looked at Nick confused as her body turned to dust, Nick’s turning to dust a few seconds after. Natasha didn’t even get to say goodbye, or even hello for that matter.
They hadn’t been able to see or talk to each other as much as they wanted because Natasha was on the run and Maria would sometimes be off world but they cherished the moments they did have together. Natasha laid down and curled up on Maria’s side of the bed, inhaling Maria’s faint scent. She thought back to the last time they were in bed together.
Natasha tossed and turned in her sleep, she was having a nightmare. Maria had left her and she was never coming back and it was all her fault. In her nightmare, instead of Maria going to sleep on the couch, she left. Packed her bags, put her wedding ring on the table and left. Natasha just started at the door, frozen in place. She wanted to go after her, but she couldn’t move for some reason. She let out a cry before she felt herself being shook. She could faintly hear Maria’s voice, telling her to wake up.
Natasha shot up and looked around, her eyes focusing on Maria who she quickly pulled into a hug that was reciprocated just as fast.
“It’s okay, I'm right here.” Maria whispered over and over, like a mantra in her ears.
“I thought you were mad at me.” Natasha whimpered out.
“I’d never make you experience a nightmare alone. You know I’ll always be by your side even if we argue.” Maria replied, kissing her head.
“I’m sorry.” Natasha trembled.
Maria hugged her tighter before responding. “You have nothing to be sorry for, I’m the one who picked a fight when I should’ve realized you were already upset. It’s not your fault.”
“But I completely disregarded you and your feelings. Even though I was upset, I should’ve just said something.” Nat mumbled.
“We’ve never been apart for this long, I think we were just feeling emotions we didn’t know how to let out yet and we couldn’t pick up on those cues within each other. It’s both our faults.” Maria said to comfort her. “Do you want to talk about it?” Maria asked, referring to her nightmare.
“It was about tonight, but instead of going to sleep on the couch, you just left. Packed up everything and walked away without even looking back at me.” Natasha started. “You even took off your wedding ring. I wanted to go after you, but I was frozen in place and then you woke me up.”
“Hey, look at me.” Maria said. When Natasha’s green eyes met hers, she continued. “I’d never leave you by choice. You’re the love of my life, and no matter how many times we argue, I'll stay so we can work this out.” Maria reassured before softly kissing Natasha’s lips.
Natasha sobbed at the memory because even though Maria was gone, it wasn’t her choice and that brought her a small piece of comfort.
It was now June and Natasha could see a pride parade happening in the street. She thought back to her and Maria’s first pride together.
Maria sat at her desk, tapping her fingers on her desk nervously. She had asked Natasha to meet her in her office because she wanted to ask Natasha to go to Pride with her. She had only been to Pride one other time, with Carol and Maria Rambeau, and it had been so fun to be in a place with other people like her and she wanted to experience that with Natasha. The only problem was Natasha wasn’t out to the world yet and Maria didn’t want to force her to come out if she wasn’t ready, therefore she had no idea how to broach the subject.
The door to her office opened and in walked the woman who was currently occupying her mind. She was dressed casually but Maria still thought she was the prettiest woman ever.
“Hey Ria.” Natasha greeted, coming around her desk to give Maria a kiss.
“Hi, baby. How’s your day been?” Maria asked.
“Boring and full of testosterone. You know, if Wanda wasn't recruited to the Avengers, I think I would go insane. I have no idea how I survived three years surrounded by dumb men.” Natasha sighed out.
“Probably because you would just go to SHIELD to get away before it was gone.” Maria reminded her.
“Yeah, I miss the days when I could just hide away in your office or my old room, but enough about them. There’s another Pride event tomorrow, do you want to go with me?” Natasha wondered.
Maria couldn’t help but laugh. She was freaking out about asking Natasha to Pride and here Natasha goes asking her first.
“What’s so funny?” Natasha questioned, frowning. Maria picked up on a hint of hurt in her voice.
“No, I'm not laughing at you or the question. I was going to ask you if you wanted to go to the Pride event. I just couldn’t figure out how to ask because you aren’t out to the world yet and I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or feel like you had to go because I wanted to.” Maria explained.
Natasha smiled at Maria’s thoughtfulness before responding. “Mia, of course I’ll go to Pride with you. I don’t care who knows I love you, I just don’t feel the need to announce who I love because it’s no one’s business.”
The next day, her and Maria went to Pride and had the time of their lives. Natasha walked around with a lesbian flag wrapped around her and throughout the day, people came up to Natasha to tell her how much she inspired them. She had never felt as happy as she did at that moment and to share it with Maria made it even more special. By the time night came around, it was all over the news.
Nat decided to post on her personal th twitter account, Pepper had made all the Avengers make accounts to help give fans a chance to talk and interact with them.
She posted a picture a selfie of her and Maria on their wedding day. “Yes, I’m a lesbian and I’m married to this gorgeous woman right here.” The tweet quickly went viral and the rest was history.
From that day forward, Maria and Natasha made it their mission to go to Pride as much as they could. It’s been 3 and half years since Maria died and Natasha hasn’t been to an event since. It didn’t feel right continuing the tradition without Maria.
It was now July 11th, 2023 and Natasha couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed. They had gotten married 10 years ago today and Maria wasn’t even here to celebrate it with her. Natasha sobbed, clutching a picture of her and Maria on their first wedding anniversary. She thought back to their first wedding anniversary and how much of a disaster it was.
Natasha was currently on a stealth mission with Clint, it was meant to be a simple in and out mission retrieving data but since it required complete stealth, Strike Team Delta was called in. Natasha didn’t mind, she had been bored at the tower, so this gave her something to do. She hoped she got back to SHIELD at a decent time, it was her first anniversary with Maria and she wanted it to be perfect.
But of course nothing could ever be that simple. Natasha and Clint managed to get inside quietly however, getting out wasn't as easy. Once the other guards noticed that some of their men were down, they put the building on high alert and started searching. Natasha went through the vents to get to the exit, closest to where Clint was waiting, but it was covered by guards. There were only 5 of them, and Natasha easily took them down but she hadn’t noticed a sixth man aiming a gun at her.
“Tasha, look out.” Clint yelled, an arrow was already flying toward the man and it hit him in the chest but not before he pulled the trigger and a bullet lodged itself in Natasha’s abdomen.
Nat groaned on impact and Clint quickly went to her side and helped her to the quinjet which was thankfully only a few feet away. He carefully placed Nat on the seats before getting the quinjet in the air.
“Hawkeye to command. Mission was successful but have medical team ready, Widow took a hit.” Clint reported to whoever was listening. He put the jet on autopilot and grabbed a first aid kit to patch Natasha’s wound as best as he could until they got back to base.
“Copy that Hawkeye. How’s Widow looking? Is it fatal?” Maria’s voice echoed through the jet. Although her voice appeared calm, Clint and Natasha could hear the hint of panic in her voice.
“It was a shot to the abdomen, she’s lost a decent amount of blood. I’m going to patch it up to stop the bleeding as much as I can.” Clint’s voice was steady, he had done this many times before and Natasha was a fighter, she’d be okay. He felt a tap on his shoulder and when he looked up, Natasha crooked a finger signaling him to come closer.
“Tell her to switch to our personal comms.” Natasha groaned out, she’s been shot plenty of times, but the pain was always awful.
“Commander, Widow is requesting you switch to personal comms.” He relayed, he had just finished wrapping her wound, which should slow the bleeding.
There wasn’t any response from Maria’s side for a few minutes, Clint and Natasha assumed she was going to her office for privacy.
“Nat, baby how are you feeling?” Maria’s voice came through, panic now evident in her voice.
“You know, I’ve been shot many times, but the pain always seems to get worse each time. I’ll be fine but we’re going to have to reschedule our anniversary dinner.” Natasha pouted.
“That’s fine with me, I just want you to be okay.” Maria told her. For the rest of the ride, Maria talked and Natasha listened, only making one word responses to save her energy.
When the jet finally landed back on base, Clint helped Natasha up and helped Natasha onto the gurney medical had waiting for Natasha’s arrival.
“I’ll see you later.” Clint whispered, before leaving to debrief Fury.
Natasha was wheeled away to get the bullet removed and when the doctor cleared her, Maria was by her side instantly.
“You know, when I imagined our first wedding anniversary, I never expected it to be in a hospital bed.” Nat joked when Maria walked in.
“Well you know us, we’ve never been able to have a normal life, I mean I proposed in the middle of an alien invasion.” Maria replied, reminiscing on that moment.
“Get in.” Natasha demanded, lifting the blanket up. Maria looked at her with a raised brow. “Are you sure? I don’t want to irritate your wound.”
“Ria, get in, I wanna cuddle.” Natasha whined. Maria laughed before taking off her shoes before laying next to her. Natasha instantly curled into her side, content to be in the comfort of her wife’s arms.
“Happy Anniversary, Natty.” Maria muttered, kissing her forehead. Natasha hummed, the drugs in her system were making her tired. “Happy Anniversary, Mia.” She murmured tiredly.l before falling asleep.
Later that night, Clint came in to see how Natasha was doing and saw them curled around each other. They looked so peaceful, he decided to snap a picture. ‘Happy Anniversary lovebirds’ he wrote before he sent the picture to them.
If the next day, that picture became Maria’s lock screen, no one said anything.
Their 10 year anniversary was one of the biggest milestones they had as a couple but Maria wasn’t here and Natasha didn’t know how to cope.
“Let me go.” Natasha told Clint softly. They were on Vormir and Natasha’s hand was grasped in Clint’s tightly as he held her over the cliff.
“Tasha, what about Maria? What am I supposed to tell her?” He asked, desperately.
“Tell her I love her and I’m sorry our story has to end here.” Natasha said before letting his hand go. She closed her eyes and let herself fall, Maria’s face the last thing on her mind before she hit the ground