To Desire Blood Where It Flows Not, Part 1
To Desire Blood Where It Flows Not.
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Vee
“Vee puedes lavarlos platos y un momento por favor?” Camila called out from the laundry room. Vee got up from the table where she had been relaxing and went over to the sink to get started.
“Mija?” Camila called again.
“Estoy haciendolos ahorita Mami!” Vee shouted back.
“¡Gracias! Pues…, y puede alimentar Ozwald?”
“¡Sí Mami! Despues de eso!”
Vee then started scrubbing, glancing at the night sky. There wasn’t a day she didn’t thank Camila for allowing her to stay. She’d allowed Vee to stay when Luz was stuck and demanded that she stay when Luz died. Not that Vee minded being ordered to live in the human realm.
“Oye!” Camila shouted, “Condenar este aguja!”
Vee smiled. Camila had tried keeping it a secret, but Vee knew that her mom was hand-sewing her an outfit for her graduation. Hand-sewing clothing for a shapeshifter! Vee thought she couldn’t love her any more than she already did, but then Ozwald told her about it. Speaking of Ozwald, she looked around for the small Otter and saw him resting in a small bed near the couch. He was a sleepy dude.
After a while of mindless scrubbing, Vee put all the dishes out to dry and slithered over to Ozwald.
“Come on, hermano, let’s get you fed,” Vee cooed, picking up the otter from his bed. Ozwald just stretched and watched patiently as Vee poured the special water into the flower pot and flicked on the plant light. Ozwald lazily climbed from Vee’s arm and into the pot, where he promptly fell back to sleep. Vee gave him a small belly rub before slithering back to the kitchen.
“Mami? Necesito algo mas? Pienso que yo voy a dormir y un segundo!” Vee called, raising her hand to turn off the lights.
“No mija, estoy bien,” Camila responded. Vee was about to turn the lights off when she saw the shack behind the house light up, and The Collector's voice rang out.
“ Enjoy your visit!”
“What the?” Vee mumbled, slithering over the window. She watched as Amity, Gus, Willow, Hunter, and a stranger walked from the cabin and started making their way to the house.
“Aye Mami! Amity y sus amigos’ estan aqui!”
“What!?” Camila called in English, hurrying out of her crafts room. “Why? It's so late,” Camila wondered out loud as she started pulling out the dishes that Vee had just cleaned. Vee shrugged and slithered to the door. It wasn’t a moment longer until Amity knocked on the door, but the other four figures were behind, waiting by the edge of the house.
“Hi, Amity,” Vee said, stretching to look at the others, “what brings you here so late?”
“Can I talk to you and mom?” Amity asked.
“For sure, but don’t the others want to come in first?” Vee said, pointing at Willow, Hunter, Gus, and the stranger.
“I want to talk first,” Amity started rubbing her neck nervously. “Ease you into the situation,” She mumbled quietly. Vee flicked her eyes between Amity and her group and sighed.
“Vamanos Ames, let's go talk to Camila.”
Vee let Amity inside and waved to the rest of her friends before following Amity. Camila was already starting to prep some tostones, when they found her in the kitchen.
“Amity!” She cried, “Como estas?”
“I’m doing well,” Amity sighed, looking rather nervous. Camila picked up on it immediately.
“Mija…” Camila chided.
“Look, something happened today at the grave,” Amity said.
“What happened?” Vee and Camila asked at the same time. Vee knew that Camila had felt guilty about not going. Vee had even tried convincing her to, but Camila said the most heartbreaking thing of all time to her. Words that caused Vee to start crying when she heard them.
“Vee, mija. Luz,” She chuckled, grabbing Vee by the shoulder, “The dead can be patient, si? Today is about you and Masha.”
Vee had blushed and cried at the same time, but Camila insisted that they should really go out for their four-year anniversary. (It was simply a really awful conscience that Luz had died that day.) Vee focused back on Amity, who was sweating a little bit.
“This is gonna sound really bad, okay?” Amity said.
“Trust me, I can take it,” Camila said, smiling. Vee gave Amity a nod of approval.
“Okay,” Amity started. “I went early this morning to put flowers for all of us at the tree, but when I got there, there was this girl with no memory or anything,” Amity took a deep breath and leaned against a wall.
“And this girl, I’ve never seen anything like her. Covered in fur with horns, claws, a tail, and wings- anyways,” Amity took a deep breath and looked Camila and Vee straight on. “She had Stringbean-” Camila stifled a small gasp, “and then we found out that this girl, Song, used to be someone else… she used to be Luz.”
To Desire Blood Where It Flows Not.
____
Vee
Vee grabbed onto Camila as she swayed, but not for long as her mom stood up strong quickly.
“Used to be?” Camila asked in a tiny, pained voice.
“She’s-well, she’s missing some things, like her memories and-” Amity paused and looked at Vee and Camila. Vee knew that she and her mom were both wearing horrified expressions, but Camila gave Amity a nod to keeping going.
“Mom, she doesn’t have her soul,” Amity finished.
“Oh…,” Camila faltered for just a second, looking dazed. Vee slithered up to give her a hug, squeezing her hard. She remembered the days after Luz’s death.. Camila sitting in Luz’s room alone, only coming to help Vee. The silent crying that Camila tried to keep from Vee and hiding the fact that she wasn’t going to work anymore. The daze of it all only lifted when CPS came to ask about Luz, followed by two FBI Agents. That was a story for a different time, though.
“Can I see her?” Camila asked quietly.
“Yea-yea, I’ll go grab her, jus’ do you want me to ask her to keep the illusion on or off?” Amity asked.
“Illusion?” Camila asked in a whisper.
“Yea, she needs one to walk around in this realm, but,” Amity started twiddling her thumbs, “It makes her look like Luz, almost too much. She’s still wearing it, but I can ask her to take it off… so it’s not as jarring.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to see her as Luz?” Camila asked.
“Well, Song isn’t Luz. She’s pretty adamant about it, and there's no way we can do anything if Song isn’t on the same page as us,” Amity said.
“Then yes, have Song take away the illusion, but does that mean you have a way to… to bring Luz back?” Camila asked nervously. Amity gave a small nod, and Camila took a sharp breath.
“We…. we think we do,” Amity whispered. “But can we get everyone in here?
Camila nodded, and Amity quickly walked out the door.
“Mami?” Vee asked.
“Este es… muy intersante Vee. No se que pensar as eso,” She said with a small chuckle before getting started on making food.
Vee looked nervously at the door, waiting for them to walk back in. It happened in slow motion. Gus, Willow, and Hunter walked in first, followed by Amity, and then by a witch that matched the description that Amity had given. She was extremely tall, having to duck her head through the door. As soon as Vee made eye contact with her, Song walked over and grabbed her hands.
“You must, Vee,” She asked softly. It was all Vee needed to prove that this wasn’t Luz anymore. No extreme enthusiasm.
“Yea, I am,” Vee responded nervously, looking at Amity. Vee would have to ask later what they meant about coming to see her.
“It’s wonderful to meet you,” Song said, “My name is Song!”
“Good to meet you too!” Vee told her, slipping her hands out of Song’s claws. Song immediately turned to look at Camila, who gave a little squeak.
“Mija?” Camila said softly. Song gave a small but sad laugh in return.
“No, Camila. Me llamo Song, pero… pero tengo el cuerpo de tu hija,” Song said, twiddling her thumbs nervously.
“Si Amity, me dijó que to no tiene su memorias,” Camila said before stopping herself, looking confused. “You- you know Spanish?”
“What’s a Spanish?” Song asked innocently.
Camila stifled a sob before rushing in to give Song the biggest bear hug ever. Vee couldn’t help but tear up a little, watching it all. She then began to cry when Camila did, sobbing into Song’s fur. To Song’s credit, she let her. Vee supposed Amity gave Song a crash course before they came here. After a while, they all sat down and began discussing what to do next.
To Desire Blood Where It Flows Not.
____
Song
Song watched over Willow and Amity as they slept in Luz’s room. The two witches were exhausted and almost immediately went to sleep when they got up. They had also given Vee and Camila a breakdown of the situation, during which Camila had remained relatively calm. During the time they ate and talked, Song noticed how much attention Camila was giving her. Specifically asking her questions and having Song involved as much as she could. But she was never forceful, always asking IF Song wanted to say something.
Song looked at the little room that used to belong to Luz. It was terribly tiny, though perhaps she was just tall. It was also uncomfortably warm, and the carpet caused her fur to stand on end with “static electricity,” as Vee had called it. Perhaps there was a glyph in this “static.” One that could be used to annoy people. After a while of sitting at the foot of the bed, Song got restless and left the room. She didn’t know where to go, deciding to wander the house.
The wood of the house whined and groaned under her feet as she walked. Song, in turn, asked if it could be quiet, just tonight, and the house agreed the creaking and groaning ceasing. She thanked it silently and continued to look around. Many pictures of Luz were still up on the walls. and Song couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable in her own skin. Well, really, she felt uncomfortable for being comfortable. This body was all she’d known for her brief day of life. It felt right to her, but looking at the person that was supposed to be in this body- well, she couldn’t help but feel off. It was like Song was dead walking. Or maybe Luz was.
Song decided to go downstairs. Maybe there would be more room on the couch to sleep if she even could sleep. She wasn’t feeling tired at all. Walking downstairs, Song was surprised to see Camila sitting on the windowsill, humming to herself, and looking out the window. Her little Palisman was wrapped around her neck, sleeping soundly. The House resumed its groaning as soon as Camila turned around to see Song, who hadn’t realized she was holding her breath.
“Mija,” Camila whispered, “Come sit with me, please.”
Song did so, sitting next to Camila on the windowsill. They sat only to the tune of Camila humming for several more minutes before she stopped and rested her hands on Song’s claws.
“Mija, look at me, please?”
“Please stop calling me mija. I’m not Luz,” Song told her gently.
“If that’s what you want, Song,” Camila said quietly; Song saw her wipe away tears, causing a lump to form in her throat.
“Do you… you have anything to say?” Song asked.
“Dear, I wouldn’t know what to say,” Camila sighed.
“Then why did you want me to sit with you?”
Camila pulled her palisman off her shoulders and gave him a little scratch under his chin. Song thought about her reasons. All of them were based around Song being Luz, but she decided to break the silence anyways.
“I’m very sorry for… for not being the person you know,” Song said. The thought had been coursing through her brain all day, every time she met or spoke to someone that Luz had known. But out of all those people aside from Amity, she felt that Luz’s mom deserved those words the most.
“I don’t think you have anything to apologize for,” Camila said, giving Song a hesitant rub on the shoulders.
“But-”
“Shh, I saw durante la cena,” Camila interrupted. “You are very different from my Luz.”
“How so?”
“Aye, Luz was wonderful, but she could be very… oblivious. I don’t see that in you. You are more naive…. but I see you watching. You feel the other's emotions don’t you?” Camila said. Song wasn’t sure if that was true, but she did find that reasoning the emotions of other people. came quite easy to her.
“Oh, uhh thanks?” Song said.
“It’s not something to worry about. From what I hear, you have only a day of life to find yourself,” Camila said. Song looked at Camila and knew that there was no way in Titan's Soul that she could be fine.
“Ms. Noceda,” Song said, Camila giving a wince at her words, “I know you have words for me. I- I want to hear them.”
Camila sighed and placed her palisman on the windowsill. Stringbean slithered out Song’s hair, and the two creatures started speaking to each other in soft chitter.
“There are no words for my feelings,” Camila said simply. “Sometimes words don’t do feelings justice.”
“Oh,” Song mumbled.
“But if I had to say- well, I am happy and scared, sad and confused. I want my Luz back, but I don’t… I don’t-” She took a breath and sat up straight, “Es un sopa con demasiados ingredientes,” Camila laughed painfully. Camila paused, and for the first time, she and Song looked each other in the eyes.
“You have a choice in the future,” Camila said. “But I see… I see that this choice is going to cause pain,” She choked, tears coming from her eyes.
“ I know what I would do-” She choked up and started crying, so Song decided to give her a hug.
“It’s not fair,” Song murmured, thinking about everyone and thinking about herself. She finally let herself have a selfish thought. She wanted to live.
Camila rubbed the tears away and made eye contact with Song again.
“No, it’s not.”