Chapter 6
Malia sometimes forgot what her Pappy's face looked like anymore. By now, most of the features of her brother and mother's faces had been erased. She knew that Peter had dark red-brown hair when they were children and that she shared her Mama's curly hair, if not for the color, but other than that the knowledge was simply gone. She rarely dreamed anymore.
Too exhausted from working her body during the day for her to have the energy to produce any, but when she did... Malia would catch a glimpse of her family's faces for a moment before forgetting them when she woke up.
The only thing she really remembered these days was her name. She'd buried that knowledge into her mind and chanted it like a mantra during experiments or training. Malia Louisa Quill. Malia Louisa Quill. MaliaLouisaQuill. MaliaLouisaQuill. MaliaLouisaQuillMaliaLouisaQuillMaliaLouisaQuillMali-. Sometimes it felt like she'd never had another name or life except for that of Subject A-0001, it was moments like that where she'd start chanting her name fervently to remind herself that she hadn't always been here. Hadn't always been one of HYDRA's experiments.
Malia Louisa Quill had a family. Malia Louisa Quill had served in United States Army for -eight or was it longer?- eight years. Malia Louisa Quill had grown up on her Pappy Louis's farm after her Mama passed away from- from cancer.
-Her brain... there had been a tumor in her head... "Daddy was a spaceman, an angel. Mama said so, she ain't no liar."-
Malia Louisa Quill was named after her Mama's nickname Mary and for her Pappy. Malia Louisa Quill had an older twin brother, Peter, Peter Jason Quill, who went missing -"A spaceship took him away... it was real Pappy! I ain't crazy!"- the day Mama died. Malia Louisa Quill was somebody. Malia Louisa Quill had been- was loved by her Pappy, by her family, by those that mattered.
Sometimes. Sometimes she forgot that she was Malia Louisa Quill.
It only got worse after the chair .
Maybe she'd been forced into the chair before and that was why she was forgetting. Still Subject A-00- Malia had been afraid of the chair before she'd seen it. Maybe her body and brain knew why but they- she didn't understand. Still, she struggled, fought and bit like a feral animal, when they dragged her to the chair and strapped her in. Somebody started up the machine after they gagged her and the chair whirred menacingly as a sparkling headset lowered towards her scalp.
You are Malia Louisa Quill. You are Malia Louisa Quill.
MaliaLouisaQuillMaliaLouisaQuillMaliaLouisaQuillMaliaLouisaQui-
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" Otets ."
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Subject A-0001 is good at following orders. Though it can't help but internally question the decisions the Handler makes at times. Why would the Handler bound Subject A-0001's hands whilst leading the Subject into Lab 241? Why would they restrain Subject A-0001's body on the gurney? If they asked, Subject A-0001 would comply without hesitation.
Handler smacked Subject A-0001 across its face for bringing up its concern.
Recalibration in the chair is required.
Subject A-0001 is afraid.
Though this time Subject A-0001 does not question the aggravated Handler as it is dragged into the chamber. The chair makes Subject A-0001 want to rebel, even as the Subject A-0001 sits perfectly still while the Handler and LabCoats restrain the Subject once more.
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"Pyatyy."
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The Handler is pleased with the Subject A-0001's progress in Hand-to-Hand combat. Subject A-0001 can now subdue three trainers with ease. Subject A-0001 is now to be taught how to fight with a weapon. Subject A-0001 wonders why it has to learn to fight. Is there someone who wishes harm to Subject A-0001 and its Handler? Does the Handler wish for Subject A-0001 to kill the threat?
Subject A-0001 likes flexibility training more. It likes the way its body feels all lethargic and loose after a nice long stretch. Running is enjoyable as well since that means Subject A-0001 is not hurting anyone or being harmed in return.
Subject A-0001 does not like the torture resistance training. It makes Subject A-0001... upset. It does not like being burned, whipped, cut open, or pummeled when Subject A-0001 cannot defend itself.
The Handler is displeased when Subject A-0001 asks if it can go to flexibility training instead.
Subject A-0001 is not to question the decisions of the Handler.
Subject A-0001 is not to feel.
Subject A-0001 is not to have emotions.
Subject A-0001 is to do as it is told.
Subject A-0001 does not understand why recalibration is needed, or why it feels... fear.
The chamber with the chair in the center is scary.
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"Telesnyy."
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Subject A-0001 must learn how to properly handle firearms. It wonders if it is the first time Subject A-0001 has held a gun in its hands. The weight is familiar in its palm and so is pulling the trigger. The Handler is pleased by Subject A-0001's progress. It will make a good companion to the Asset. The Asset is like Subject A-0001. The Asset is the Fist of HYDRA and Subject A-0001 is to be the Asset's Shadow. Subject A-0001 is to complement the Asset's skills.
The trainers teach Subject A-0001 how to use all of its skills whilst fighting. Hesitation only earns Subject A-0001 punishment. Subject A-0001 does not like to be punished. Subject A-0001 is not supposed to feel so it does not speak up about its preferences.
When the Handler presents three traitors to the cause, Subject A-0001 is instructed to terminate them. Two of them stare at Subject A-0001 with angry defiant eyes while the last one, the youngest of all of them, sobs openly. It makes a foreign emotion twinge in Subject A-0001's chest. The Handler presses a pistol into the Subject's hand and commands it to fire. Subject A-0001 stares at the cold weapon in its hand before leveling it at the head of the first traitor.
"Fire." the Handler commands.
Subject A-0001 hesitates for a millisecond before pulling the trigger. First target terminated. The Handler instructs Subject A-0001 to terminate the second man, he no longer held such an angry defiant expression, instead panic had flooded the traitor's face as he struggles against his bonds.
"Fire Subject A-0001."
The sound of the pistol vibrated through the room. The child traitor's breaths were coming out in harsh pants as he begged for his life. Snot and tears were freely streaming from his face in a rather disgusting display... Still, Subject A-0001 felt... felt something.
Subject A-0001 did not want the child traitor's life to end. Much less at the hand of Subject A-0001.
"Fire."
Subject A-0001 lowers its weapon.
"Why?"
The child traitor looks up at Subject A-0001 with... desire?
No- hope.
It doesn't make sense.
The Handler bristles angrily, "The Subject is not to question my decisions. You are to shoot this boy."
Subject A-0001 lips tug down into a frown, "No."
The Handler relinquished the gun from Subject A-0001's hand before throwing a fist into its face. Punishment for refusing the orders of the Handler is to be expected. Subject A-0001's head snaps back after a moment when the Handler cocks the pistol and shoots the stunned boy traitor in the forehead.
Anger towards the Handler bubbles under the surface of Subject A-0001's chest.
"Take this piece of shit to the chair." the Handler growled out angrily.
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"Ferma."
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Subject A-0001 was going through a highly complicated training arena whilst various trainers attacked or shot at it. The objective was to make it through the course without injury. Subject A-0001 had completed the course various times throughout the last week, however it had not been able to complete the objective thus far. The Handler was not pleased with Subject A-0001. Punishment had become habitual every evening. Today however Subject A-0001 had completed the objective. The Handler rewarded Subject A-0001 by recalling the punishment.
Subject A-0001 was now to learn how to extract information from targets and enemies of HYDRA. The Subject was to carefully observe all the techniques of HYDRA's finest T&I Extractors and listen to their commands. Subject A-0001 does not like the torture chambers. Subject A-0001 does not like the stench of blood and other bodily fluids that cling to the walls and floors despite being seemingly spotless.
Subject A-0001 does not like the screams or tears streaming from the prisoners either. Subject A-0001 does not like the way the prisoners look at it with hope or hatred or despair. Subject A-0001 does not inform the Handler of its dislike for its new assignment. Subject A-0001 likes the assignment even less when the T&I trainer places the tools in the Subject's hands for the first time and instructs it to copy.
Subject A-0001 dislikes being the cause behind the target's screams or pain. Subject A-0001 is punished for accidentally killing one of the prisoners. It does not regret its actions, though there is no reason to inform the Handler of such rebellious thoughts.
Recalibration should be avoided at all costs.
The prisoner had smiled a bloody relieved grin -"Th-Thank you. Thank you-" bubbling out of his split lips- when Subject A-0001 ended their life.
The Handler orders for the Subject's recalibration when Subject A-0001 is caught putting the more tortured prisoners out of their misery. The Handler did not like Subject A-0001 autonomy, nor reasoning.
-"They have no further information to give, Handler. Further pain is an unnecessary course of action."-
Subjects should not reason. They are to listen to orders and act upon them blindly.
Subject A-0001 is not sure it likes being a Subject.
The Handler issues a physical reprimand across its face before strapping it in the chair.
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"Otvedeniye."
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Subject A-0001 is to spar with some of HYDRA's finest soldiers and prove its worth to the Handler. If Subject A-0001 completes its objective the Handlers will allow Subject A-0001 to be taught by the Asset. The Asset is HYDRA's best creation. The Handler and Head Scientist of the division wish for Subject A-0001's skills to match the Asset's. Subject A-0001 completes the task with minimal injury to its body.
The Handler is pleased.
Subject A-0001 is to terminate traitors of HYDRA as part of T&I training. Subject A-0001 shoots the first five traitors without hesitation, the Handler is thrilled when the female adolescent traitor falls. However, the last traitor is even smaller than the adolescent. It is a boy. His hair is a copper-orange color, fading freckles are sprinkled across his cheeks and his hazel eyes are watery as he sobs for a Maia. The boy trembles and tries to reach out his hand toward the dead adolescent by his side. Subject A-0001 is conflicted. The boy looks too young to be a useful member of HYDRA, much less a traitor. Perhaps the Handler had been mistaken.
The Handler is not pleased with Subject A-0001's hesitation and yanks its head back by its hair. "You will terminate the traitor." before roughly throwing Subject A-0001 away from the Handler's body in disgust.
Subject A-0001 levels the gun at the child's head.
"Maia!" the boy sobs, ignoring the gun aimed at him entirely, "MAIA!"
-"Malia!" another boy's voice echos in the Subject's head. He looks at the Subject, his features so similar to that of the traitor that it makes the Subject's head spin, with fear and recognition as he extends his hand towards the Subject for help. The Subject's hand reaches out blindly towards the boy as a familiar, younger, high-pitched voice erupts out of the Subject's throat in equal fervor, "PETER!"-
Subject A-0001 drops the gun onto the ground and whimpers out, "Peter?" in disbelief before the T&I trainer kills the boy traitor in disgust while the Handler shocks the Subject in the side when it lunges to attack the trainer for killing the boy. Peter? Brother? Who is Malia? Why was Peter calling Subject A-0001 Malia? Was that Subject A-0001's name? Like the Handler's name was Maykl ... That's not right. Subject A-0001 is a Subject. An experiment and weapon being foraged by the great minds of HYDRA's finest. The Subject A-0001 is not a person, despite its physical similarities, it does not have brothers or familial connections.
Still, for reasons the Subject A-0001 cannot understand, it fights viciously against the Handler, trainers, and guards that drag it into the recalibration chamber before strapping the Subject into the chair and starting the machine.
PeterPeterPeterPeterPeterPe-
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"Dvadtsat' vosem'."
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Subject A-0001 absently wonders why the Handlers and trainers all celebrate when the Subject eliminates all of the traitors. They had eyed the Subject A-0001 with trepidation when they'd instructed it to eliminate the filthy traitors. The Subject's main Handler had been particularly on edge when Subject A-0001 arrived at the youngest red-haired traitors before relaxing when the Subject completed its objective.
As a rare treat, the Subject A-0001 was allowed to sleep that night instead of being put under for more invasive experiments. When morning arrives, Subject A-0001 contemplates the idea of sleep as a new form of torture as visions of red-haired children -PETER- screaming its name with horror. The Handler is not pleased to find the Subject A-0001 curled up in a ball in a corner of the cell covered with its own blood as the Subject continuously digs its nails into its fleshy body and digs in.
"Subject A-0001 malfunctioning. Recalibration is needed." Subject A-0001 whispers hoarsely.
The Handler scoffs derisively as he orders the guards to drag the Subject into the chair.
Subject A-0001 feels fear.
Feels hatred...
And wonder as it spots the boy, always the same dark red-haired boy with a black eye and a sad expression on his face, walk towards the Subject A-0001 as the straps are tightened and the gag given to the Subject A-0001. The boy, no one else sees him, has blocky headphones hanging around his neck and tears streaming down his cheek. He whispers soundlessly-
Recalibration was needed.
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"Ded."
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"Ready to comply."