“So, Loki – I have a couple more questions to ask ya’.”
“Was forcing me to watch my own death over and over again not traumatic enough?”
“Yeah, I know, I know, but these will be different. Jus’ figuring out what makes a Loki tick, alright?” Mobius pulled out a chair in the cafeteria, placing his salad and drink on the table before gesturing for Loki to take the other.”
“Fine.” Loki took the seat in front of him, turning to face the TVA agent before speaking. “But no more of your cursed time loops.”
“Alright. If you can answer these questions for me.”
Mobius placed a file on the table, opening it to reveal Loki’s face and details on the inside. It had basic information on him; gender, age, race – but the pages behind it seemed to be endless.
“This file here has everythin’ you ever did pertaining to the sacred timeline. An’ a couple extra parts too.” He smiled to himself, opening to a page showing the Avengers and Loki’s frequent defeats and losses. “Now I assume you haven’t forgotten your ol’ pals the Avengers?”
“Of course not.”
“Then do you remember a certain Mister Tony Stark?” Mobius’ finger rested on a picture of the man; dark eyes, hair and goatee, the arc reactor glowing through his shirt. He had fought the man on many occasions, most notably (and unforgettably) their first time in the Stark tower where the hulk had pulverized his face into mush.
“Ah yes, how could I forget him.” Loki smiled sarcastically, his name spoken with pure venom. “The scoundrel was the reason I was thwarted time and time again. Him and his cursed Avengers were the bane of my life.”
Mobius grinned, adding dressing to his salad. “Ah, thought it would still be a tender subject. But I’m not interested in how he defeated you time an’ time again.” He taunted Loki, watching the taller man narrow his eyes in disgust. “I’m far more interested in the more… personal relationship you had with him.”
Loki just tilted his head, furrowing his brow a little.
“Oh, you don’t need to lie to me, Loki. I’ve seen your whole life! Warts and all. I know you and him were pretty close.”
Pretty close was an understatement. Loki had had an – ahem.. rather intimate relationship with the man since their first meeting at the Stark Tower. The two had certainly never liked each other, attempting to kill each other at first glance, but it had never stopped them from enjoying each other’s company in other ways.
“I.. may have been.” Loki stated plainly, crossing his arms. “But I don’t see how this is relevant.”
“Well you’re here to help me figure out what makes a Loki a Loki, right? So I think I need to get to the bottom of what really makes you you.”
A simple “uh huh” was all Loki answered with, his eyes trained on Mobius’.
“Well, where do we start? Genius inventor, philanthropist, playboy and billionaire. Not to insult you, but he doesn’t exactly scream ‘Loki’s biggest fan.’”
Looking at his nails, Loki attempted to look nonchalant in his answer. “Opposites attract, I suppose. We just made the most of a bad situation.”
“Hey, I‘m not judgin’ you!” Mobius raised his hands with a laugh. “I’m sure anyone in your position would have taken it. Tall, dark and handsome sugar daddy like him – an’ I mean diamonds are a girl’s best friend, right?”
“He was not my-“ Loki lowered his voice, looking around before leaning forwards and spitting out a hushed: “sugar.. daddy. I am a god! I have no need for trivial crystals and trinkets. Regardless, our relationship was purely clinical.”
“Clinical? That’s not what your file says.” He licked his finger, turning to a page with a hefty paragraph of text and lifting it up to read it. “It says here that ‘Loki Laufeyson and Tony Stark’s relationship was a turbulent one, filled with ups and downs often relating to the outcome of Laufeyson’s repeated attempts to claim Midgard as his own. Confoundingly, the more violent and aggressive the god’s attempts became, the more passionate and intense their relationship would grow. Although their relationship was never romantic, Stark spent an overall higher amount of time sexually intimate with Laufeyson than his wife Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts, the couple often engaging in sex in unconventional places and times and participating in BDS-“
“Yes-Yes! That’s enough!” Loki growled, shoving the file back onto the table. “This… this is absurd! What is the meaning of this?”
“I’m just trying to get to know you! That’s all!” Mobius stated innocuously, however his shrewd eyes said otherwise. “Honestly, I didn’t expect you to be so embarrassed.”
“I’m not.” Loki hissed though gritted teeth, Mobius stifling a laugh.
“Well following on from Mr. Stark, I presume you remember your old pal the Grandmaster?”
The older man turned the page to show a picture of him, the title reading ‘En Dwi Gast / The Grandmaster.’ In contrast to Stark’s file, the Grandmaster’s was sparce, with critical information few and far between. Loki had known of his celestial status having oftern heard him tell stories of long before his time (the creation of the universe being a fan favourite) but was unaware of how truly mystical the man seemed.
“One of the Elders of the Universe, huh? We’ve had trouble with those guys before, but you just seemed to have him wrapped around your finger.”
Loki could almost laugh at the idea; the Grandmaster had been one of the few beings in the universe to have the power to force him to submit if he wanted to. Not that he had to force him, of course. Exuding confidence and glamour with just the flick of his wrist, the Grandmaster’s eccentric costumes and makeup were only made hotter with his crows feet and wrinkles (and his chest hair hadn’t exactly been a turn off either.) In the picture he had a blue line of shimmery paint running from the centre of his lip down his throat, one that Loki couldn’t lie and say he didn’t remember running his tongue down to see how much farther down it went in the pink and red lighting of the Grandmaster’s private quarters.
Loki swallowed, shaking the memory from his thoughts. “Of course I remember him. He’s fairly unforgettable.”
“So he seems. I understand that you spent a significant amount of time on his planet - Sakaar, I think it’s pronounced – being privately taken care of by him?”
“Yes. And before you ask, I admit that he and I were more privately involved than I let on.”
“So I’ve seen.” Mobius flicked through the file again, his eyebrows raising as his eyes drifted over a certain excerpt. “However, I can’t say I remembered readin’ about the.. uh..“ He looked up to meet eyes with Loki, asking permission to say the words out loud.
“It’s alright, you can say it.”
“Embarrassed?” Mobius teased, eating a mouthful of his salad as he watched Loki grow more and more uncomfortable.
“Not at all.” Loki snapped. Truthfully, he wasn’t that embarrassed about his sex life; he learnt early on that fucking your way to the top was a quick and easy path to success, but for some reason having Mobius confront him was a little bit different. The way he laughed, the way he was probably supposed to be being clinical but clearly had a more unconventional approach – not to mention how nobody else in the cafeteria seemed to care. Was this common knowledge? No, Mobius was an agent who specialised in Lokis, surely no one else knew of his private life as deeply as Mobius.
“O-r-g-y s-h-i-p.” Mobius spelled out, laughing as Loki seemed to fold into himself in his chair. “What, is it embarrassing? You didn’t seem all that ashamed when you were on it.”
A murmured “shut up,” was all Loki could muster, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair.
“Hey, Lokes, I mean I don’t blame you. If I could shapeshift like you? Pfft- I’d be doing everythin’ you did and more!”
“Look - what is the meaning of all of this? This is absurd!” Loki growled, folding his arms closer to his chest.
“Well, you seem to gravitate to uh… how do I say this.. older men?” Mobius said too plainly between mouthfuls of salad, Loki’s lips pressed together in a tight straight line as he sandwiched his hands against each other. “Y’know, what’s up with that? Anything that you think may have caused that?”
“My relationship with my father has had no impact on my sex life.”
“Straight from the horses mouth,” Mobius murmured, writing something in his notepad. Loki opened his mouth to ask his about it, but Mobius was already shutting the file. “Well, I mean actions speak louder than words. I hate to say this, but there’s clearly a running theme here.”
“I have had hundreds of relationships over thousands of years. You’re picking two unrelated cases out of a sea of men, women and fish alike.”
“I’m just saying that you clearly had some unresolved issues with Mister Odin of Asgard, and you might be possibly looking to remedy them in the wrong place.”
“And how would you know where the correct place is?” Loki hissed.
“I’ve met more Loki’s than any other variant – I know you guys like the back of my hand. An’ what I know is,” he took a long sip from his drink, revelling in Loki’s discomfort, “along with being jackasses, most of you guys have some serious baggage. Usually in the daddy issues department. Sex sometimes helps you guys, but more often than not it just makes you feel worse.”
Loki laughed, leaning back in his chair and glaring at the man in front of him.
“My father never loved me.” He uttered simply, looking down his nose. “That is no fault of mine. He was ashamed of me, of my blood. His racism and hate made me the person I am today. But that has nothing to do with my sex life.” Loki denied with a sigh.
“Uh huh,” Mobius murmured as he scribbled down more unintelligible notes, “and do you think that you crave attention in the way that a father can give you?”
Loki went quiet, introspecting for a second. He’d never had to sit down and think so deeply about himself since he’d met Mobius, and it was exhausting.
“I… suppose I do. I lack… confidence.” He admitted, taking a deep breath. “I’m not insecure, I just…”
“You find that praise sometimes fills that void?”
He couldn’t meet Mobius’ eyes, instead focusing intensely on a crumb laying on the table. Mobius was clearly, unequivocally correct, but saying it out loud made his stomach churn with anxiety. He was a god, but he often thought that his vices outweighed his virtues, his logical side telling him that there was no shame in his actions, but his fingers staying gripped to the sides of his chair all the same.
Mobius wasn’t trying to hurt him though. Unlike other times, this wasn’t a trick, and Mobius wouldn’t hold his answer against him. The stupid little silver-haired man trusted him, for some reason, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel a tiny bit comforted by the open vastness of the TVA, how insignificant he was for once and how small his mistakes were in the grand vastness of time.
“Perhaps. Not that I ever considered my father in a sexual manner, but..” he trailed off, searching for the right words. “I know that I’m missing something. That’s all.” Meeting eyes with Mobius, the older man seemed satisfied with his answer.
He ripped out the page from his notebook, but instead of placing it in the file he shoved it into his pocket, clasping his hands together with a soft genuine smile. “I’m sure that was difficult for you to say. Well done.”
“Don’t push it.”
Mobius laughed heartily, his eyes crinkling at the sides as Loki couldn’t help but let himself smile too. His heart leapt a little at the agent’s words, but they weren’t manipulative. They seemed authentic, and Loki let himself sink into the feeling of just existing for a moment, and it felt good.
“Alright then Loki, I’ll stop interrogating for now.” He grinned, picking up his bowl and tucking his chair in. “But you know, Loki, there’s no need to be so embarrassed by your little escapades. Everyone here is used to this kinda thing.”
“That doesn’t make it any different.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“I jus’ think it makes you human, that’s all. Brings you down a notch or two.”
Loki scowled at him playfully, following the agent out of the cafeteria and back to the boring office cubicles. He could have told Mobius that he was a god with no need for trivial human emotions, but watching him smile at him so genuinely and kindly had sent him into a stupor that he couldn’t knock himself out of.
That cursed agent with his ridiculous silver hair and stupid crooked nose. That damned salt and pepper moustache would be the death of him.