Saving the world was just never easy, was it?
No there always had to be some show-stopping, jaw-dropping moment where everything started to go the heroes way, didn't there?
Only you weren't aware the you would be the one pulling out all the stops today. Of course you were prepared for it, fine with the inevitable outcome, you just didn't know it was today-today.
If you had then maybe you would have finished the last episode of that show you and Bucky were bingeing so he wouldn't feel guilty about watching it when you were gone. And you would be gone. You were sure of it.
At least pretty sure.
You and the team had discussed the possibilities of today, going over each plan in painstaking detail and they had all discussed the possible powerhouse moves they could pull...safely.
When you had volunteered some plan-altering information though, you were shut down immediately. You remember the exact way it went too.
You had been ready for the meeting since four in the morning, Bucky had come in to sit with you, he knew how nervy you got before a mission, he was well aware sleep wouldn't be easy.
Tony was in the middle of going over the plan, each member volunteering a viable Hail Mary should you need it, and now seemed as good a time as any to impart what Hail Mary you had in store.
"Tony." The teams eyes all turned to you, questioning. "I may have something as a last resort." You said, feeling the way Bucky's eyes bore through your skull. You may have forgot to mention this to him before hand. Whoops.
"And what would that be, point?" He had given you the nickname a year ago, you were able to accurately pinpoint the enemies and electrocute them while leaving you team unharmed, among other parts of your abilities in stealing energy and electricity from he city. Simply put, your aim was impeccable.
"We're expecting many enemies today, correct?" The team nodded as one. "And Thor's here as well." Tony nodded slowly, the rest of the team overtly confused at where you were going with this.
Not wanting to finish the thought you instead turned your eyes on Mijnor, sitting on the table beside said god.
Tony glanced toward it before snapping his eyes back to yours. "No chance in hell, kid."
You had expected that answer though and pushed on. "Well it's not as if you could exactly stop me, I wouldn't be hurting Thor or Mijnor, and it could give us what we need." As the team quickly caught on to your meaning, there were brief glances of worry and shakes of heads around the group.
They weren't you focus though, no that was reserved to the man who sat stock still beside you. You weren't even sure if he was still breathing, honestly.
Then he moved. Spinning your chair towards him and leaning forward, his face as serious as it always was when your safety was in question only this time laid an undercurrent of fear, horror.
That was what you weren't prepared for and you just barely held in the flinch at the pain you saw there.
He murmured your name lowly, the chatter of objections from the others dying down.
"You will not, under no circumstances be doing that." He bit out through clenched teeth, to anyone else he seemed calm enough, to you though, you heard the tremor of fear, the almost grief stricken tone that you would even suggest such a thing clear as day.
"It could save lives, Buck."
But he shook his head.
"At the cost of yours?"
"It's... a possibility, I'll give you that."
It was more than a possibility, it was likely.
"Promise me you won't."
That had you freezing, you two didn't break promises one they were made, the only time one was broken was in fear of the others life and well-being, other then that, it was a no go.
You knew you should promise it, tell him you wouldn't but-but you just couldn't. You would put your life on the line for the people of this city, you knew you would if you had too.
"Bucky-"
His shoulders sagged his head dropping, the others filed out of the room, the mission about to start, you could already see the enemies in the sky.
"I can't-I can't, please don't sweetheart, please, please"
It was a chant, pleading with you not to, it tore at your heart viciously.
"I can't promise it, Buck."
He stood, taking you with him.
"Good luck getting away from me enough to even try it."
And now you were here, fighting next to Bucky and the team against androids, aliens, whatever the hell it was this time.
And you were losing.
You watched as everyone waned, got sloppy, as you got sloppy, narrowly dodging multiple hit, saving Bucky from a couple.
The rest of the team wasn't much better off and they just. Kept. Coming.
You knew you had to go for it, the other already used their Hail Mary's, you were getting overrun. You watched as Steve took a brutal hit, sending him flying into Sam, knocking out Red Wing for a moment.
As Nat, took a vicious swing and got her arm twisted back, as Tony got flung into the air again, as Bruce hit yet another building.
Bucky tried not to show it but he wasn't doing well either, he already had at least one stab wound, shallow, but there.
Then he was knocked farther back and you went with him, guarding his side.
You cast one eye out as you kept your focus, catching Nat's eye as she took out the one she was fighting.
She read the intent clear as day and shook her head slowly, your eyes shot to Bucky and then back to her, message written all over you: Watch over him, help him.
She hesitated, knowing if you had to then you would do it right there, only taking more of your energy not to hit them.
Then she nodded, taking off towards the two of you.
Bucky didn't spot her until it was to late, Nat taking your spot beside him as you took off towards the middle where you'd have the most impact depending on your range.
You heard him yell after you but you stayed on path.
Getting to the center in seconds, you spotted Thor amongst the throng and drew on your remaining energy. Using up all you had left, you cast out snagging on Mijnor, and tugged.
Drawing the power down an invisible line and drawing it into you, the magnitude of the sheer power there was almost enough to knock you to your knees.
You drew all that you could while maintaining a grid of enemy and ally and then you settled the electric power onto every android in you path, spanning multiple city blocks in every direction, reaching twenty blocks before it got to painful to hold correctly.
That was fine though, the androids had started thinning by the fifteenth block, they'd get any stragglers.
Finally, after one last check of everything in your hold, only enemies, you released.
The power flowed through every last fiber of your being, casting to each individual android, feeling how it short-circuited and broke apart, dying instantly. You felt each one fall, each spark drain from you, air was getting thinner, your body numb, but you kept going taking each and every android you had in your grasp into a mechanical grave.
When you were certain they were mostly gone, you let the power and electricity..fad...aw....
It was the worst fear he'd ever felt.
Watching Nat run to his side as you sprinted away was something that would live in his nightmares.
Nat had tackled him to the ground when he tried to go after you, telling him 'Barnes calm the hell down, they're got this'.
It wasn't that he doubted you, he just knew as well as you did that this was a death sentence, one he wouldn't allow.
He kicked Nat off of himself, not caring how far she landed, she'd be fine.
Then he was running, sprinting as fast as his aching legs would carry him towards the center of the carnage, cutting down any enemy that tried to stop him.
Then he saw you, and his knees gave way.
The electricity was coursing through you, a voltage shield formed around your very body, nothing getting through even as he charged forward, pushing against the blinding pain.
It was no use though, as he saw androids drop around him tears streamed down his face.
Heart cleaving down the center where it had been torn out.
He watched the power spread from you, trying in vain to reach you through the voltage.
Then it stopped. And you fell to the ground.
He was on you before he'd realized he'd moved.
Pulling you into him, sobbing through clenched teeth telling himself this wasn't real, it was just another nightmare, he'd see you, sleepy with bed head in the morning, laughing with him over breakfast and you'd be fine. Just fine.
He vaugly registered the others gathering around him, where he held you against his body, his hand going to your neck, checking for a pulse.
He almost sobbed in relief when he felt it there, it was short lived though, sputtering in and out like you were barely holding on.
"Watch out, Barnes." He heard Stark behind him but he didn't want to let go, what if you vanished?
"Bucky, he can fix it but you have to let them go." Steve placed a hand on his shoulder tugging him back.
Stark knelt on the ground above you, the worry and grief clear on his face.
The he pressed a hand to your chest and sent a bolt through you. Bucky almost ripped his face off.
He knew this was a something that could work but seeing more electricity go through you was more then he could handle.
Steve and Sam were holding him still as Stark worked.
He did it three more times until finally, your eyes snapped open, your breathing ragged.
Then he really was sobbing, the relief pouring out of him, you gave Stark a quick hug before giving the team a sheepish smile.
When your eyes landed on him though, guilt washed over your features who knew it well enough to see it, and he hated it on your face.
You had just done what was needed, he knew that, the pain of almost losing you thought was still bouncing inside him.
He shoved out of Steve and Sam's arms before gathering you up. Pressing his face into your neck he let the tears fall as he held you tightly, his other hand coming up to rest against your pulse. The steady thrum of it a reassurance he desperately needed.
"I'm sorry, Buck." you murmured, but he shook his head "Don't be. Get it." He was too beyond words right now, only holding you tightly as you all piled back onto the jet, the debrief postponed for the evening instead.
He didn't let you go until you were both lying in bed.
"Never a dull moment huh? Always gotta have some zap of excitement."
Bucky held you tighter and despite himself, he laughed.