Miles walked with Peter on a supply run for Aunt May. He'd been volunteering at FEAST for about a week now and was finding that he really liked it. He quickly made friends with Peter and his Aunt May, even referring to her as 'Aunt May' himself. A habit he's accidentally picked up from Peter. The first time he accidentally called her 'aunt' he was embarrassed and quickly apologized, but she loved it. She said she preferred it and Miles was more than welcome to call her that so Miles kept it up.
Peter was weird for sure but he seemed to know what he was talking about. On Miles' first day at FEAST, seeing his dad's death reported on the news again hit hard. Earnie's harsh words had hurt. Miles had wanted to leave but Peter jumped in, calmly, but firmly calling Earnie out on what he'd said and had gotten Miles an apology. It meant a lot and was one of the things that had earned Peter a lot of respect from Miles.
He felt bad about how he'd lashed out at Peter at the funeral. Aunt May told him about how Peter lost both his parents when he was so young that Peter didn't even remember them anymore. Miles couldn't imagine not remembering his mom or dad. Peter had apparently also been there when his Uncle Ben had been shot. Miles had apologized for what he's said and Peter said it was fine, but the more he learned about Peter, the more he realized that Peter might actually know how he was feeling.
"Hey uh- Pete?" Miles asked cautiously. Peter did say he could talk anytime
"What's up Miles?"
"Did you ever... feel- I don't know... angry? With what happened to Uncle Ben?"
Miles regretted the question immediately. His therapist had been telling him to move on past his anger. Miles had been trying, Dad wouldn't want him to be angry, and anger wouldn't bring him back. But, Miles wasn't sure where to even start.
Peter stopped, turning to Miles, and despite his curiosity, he tried to find a way to backtrack
"I mean I-"
"Miles, I'm still angry," Peter said and there was honesty in his voice "Ben was shot because he didn't have enough money on him. Every time I hear about a mugging- or anything like it, I get just as angry"
Miles nodded. He was so angry at everything. The demons running around with their masks still attacking people. Angry at how the cops who had worked with Dad seemed to be leaving the demons to Spider-Man. Even at irrational things, he was jealous of the families who had survived City Hall. Seeing those who had died was even worse. Dad had tackled one of the bombers but still hadn't been enough to stop the bomb from killing others.
"At the beginning, I was so angry and guilty that I started getting into fights" Peter pulled him from his thoughts
"Really? You don't seem like the type to get into fights" Miles said, Peter was way too nice and patient. One of the types that when did fight, it would be scary.
Peter laughed and Miles couldn't help but smile "You'd be surprised! I don't recommend it though, I got stabbed once. Freaked Aunt May out, that's when we started going to FEAST to volunteer"
Peter really didn't seem like the type to go around getting into fights in back alleys. Miles would definitely need to ask Aunt May about it later.
"Miles you're allowed to be angry." Peter clenched his fist "Your dad was killed in a terrorist attack and the demons are still terrorizing New York. I would be more concerned if you weren't angry about it."
Miles was stunned. This was quite a bit different from what they were trying to tell him at therapy. Had he been misunderstanding or something?
"The key to moving on isn't to push your emotions away. Feel the and deal with them. Let yourself be angry or sad or whatever. Just don't lose yourself in it."
It was so validating and Miles felt hot tears threaten to fall. He tried to discreetly wipe them away before they fell and he turned away.
"I'm so angry." Miles felt Peter put an arm around his shoulder
"I know, it's okay"
Miles finally had permission to be angry but found himself crying. He didn't want to, not in the middle of New York. Peter seemed to know exactly how he felt, quickly leading him to an empty market plot. On the weekends, street vendors would set up shop but it was empty now. Peter sat with him on empty boxes
When Miles finally calmed down after what felt like hours, he was exhausted. The supply run seemed daunting and overwhelming.
"Sorry Pete, we still need to get the blankets for Aunt May"
"Don't worry about it, I've already texted her, we can swing by another day."
Miles nodded, relieved "Thanks"
"I know you said it's cliche but with time, you will get better. In the meantime find something productive- and non-violent- to put your energy into. Helping people really helped me. FEAST is a good place for that. It won't bring my Uncle Ben back, but New York is dangerous. Giving people a safe place to be makes me feel like maybe I can save someone else's 'Uncle Ben'"
Saving someone else's Dad? Miles could do that. He could help take care of people and make sure they were safe. He wasn't stopping bombs or terrorist attacks, but Miles hoped there would be no more City Halls needing to be stopped
Miles felt justified and like he had a set goal. He felt better? Still not great but it was an improvement.
"I like that, thank you" Miles hesitated on his next question "Were you really there when Uncle Ben died?"
Peter looked down, taking a deep breath "I... I heard the shot, and I got there a few minutes before he died"
It was short, Peter didn't like talking about it. Miles definitely understood.
"Sucks man"
Peter nodded "Yeah it does"