Revelations

The Helicarrier was in an uproar by the time Adelina arrived at the doors of the central command center, out of breath and still somewhat dazed from the explosion that had sent her tumbling through the aircraft. She rounded the next corner, passing the raised voices spouting orders and directions across ranks of agents, before finally coming to a halt several paces from the commotion. Her head was pounding as she reached for the wall beside her, needing something to balance her as the floor seemed to sway beneath her feet. The noise of agents moving swiftly behind her barely registered as she struggled to control her breathing. Not that it mattered, though. She wasn’t their primary concern for the time being. At least not until Fury declared her a threat, which she presumed would occur in the very near future.

Thus, time was of the essence, and Adelina needed to move quickly.

But she couldn’t find the energy to do anything other than lean against the cold metal of the wall, so she closed her eyes…inhaled, exhaled, inhaled, exhaled. The deep breaths seemed to soothe the exhaustion that had begun eating at her - from lack of sleep, no doubt - but did nothing to assuage the nausea - a consequence of the bitter taste of guilt.

Or was it grief? Her emotions were so scattered that Adelina couldn’t tell the difference, especially as the unwelcome memory of her last conversation with the Widow seemed to pound against her skull, demanding to be heard.

Four months earlier

“Why - why did you do it?” Her voice was rough and uneven, despite her desire, her need, to appear controlled. Especially when Natasha Romanoff was looking at her in such a way that made her blood boil. A look full of pity, full of sympathy - everything Adelina despised.


“I didn’t have a choice. Fury had his own suspicions - just needed confirmation… and I was only following his orders.”

The room grew cold from the silence as Adelina dug her nails into her palms, struggling to control her breathing and refusing to meet the woman’s eyes. She didn’t need to look at her to feel the emotions rolling off her. Waves of unease and perturbation evaporating against Adelina’s choler.

“I trusted you… I trusted you, and you took advantage of that,” Adelina uttered through her teeth, her eyes focused on the wall beside her, voice rising with each and every word. “And for what? To please Fury? The man who uses you - uses everyone - to serve his own twisted agenda?” Adelina turned her icy gaze onto the Widow, wanting to ensure every word hit its mark. “Dreykov truly did a number on you for you to believe that your position here is any better than an assassin for The Red Room.”

Adelina watched, a sneer across her face, waiting for a reaction. The redhead provided nothing aside from the sound of her breath catching and the blink of her eyes. Though, that was enough for Adelina to know her words had landed, had touched upon a wound not yet healed.

Despite that, Natasha, graced with more control than Adelina would ever have, only spoke softly against the silence, “You’re angry - I get that. You have every right to hate me… But-“

“But nothing.” Adelina didn’t want to hear whatever pitiful excuse she had come up with to make herself feel better about what she had done, whose life she had ruined. It wouldn’t change anything, now. “You are as good as dead to me, Romanoff. I should have let them kill you when I had the chance.”

“Lina-“

“Don’t call me that.”

Adelina returned to face the window, clenching and unclenching her fists in an attempt to ground herself. She couldn’t allow her rage to consume her. Not yet. Not until she knew what had become of her deal with Fury - if it still held, despite her own lies.

But fighting that wrath became much more difficult as Natasha opened her mouth, her commiserating tone filling the room with words meant to comfort, meant to encourage. “Your abilities don’t make you any less human than the rest of us. I know you’re scared of what other people might think, but you’re a good person, Adelina. You risked everything to save me, and I will never forget that, even if you hate me forever… But what you did… You have the power to save lives, to help people. And with everything that’s happened - with Thor and the Destroyer last year - it’s time to step up. We still don’t know what other threats exist out there, but you give us hope - you give me hope. You could be the hero that Earth needs if you just allowed yourself to be.”

Another brief moment of silence washed over the room as Adelina trembled against the weight of those words and the irony of their sincerity. Whatever part of her had once believed to be understood by the Widow was long gone - had died in her place the moment Natasha Romanoff decided to go unarmed into a room full of violent and bloodthirsty tech-thieves only after tipping them off.

Adelina seethed, “I want you to leave.” Her palms were bleeding, but she didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was maintaining enough control to refrain from turning around, from meeting the eyes that continued to stare through her - because if she did, Natasha Romanoff would only wish to have died at the hands of those criminals.

“I came here to tell you that Fury wants to speak with you. Your deal with him still stands.” Adelina released a breath of relief at that, her shoulders sagging as she listened to Natasha’s retreating steps. But then there was a slight pause, and Adelina stiffened once more. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I just want you to know that I have always considered you a friend, and always will.”

“If I have to tell you to leave again, I won’t be doing it with words.” She closed her eyes at the sound of the door closing.

Natasha Romanoff had been a reminder. A reminder that Adelina couldn’t trust anyone but herself. The people, the agents, she worked alongside were nothing more than means to Fury’s ends, trained to lie and deceive, even amongst each other. Adelina had been a fool to believe, for even a second, that a friendship with the Widow could be anything more than a liability.

Adelina still wasn’t quite sure what exactly had led her to trust Natasha with so much of herself in the first place. Maybe it was their strikingly similar personalities, their shared set of talents. After all, the Widow had been the one to show her the ropes when she’d first joined S.H.I.E.L.D.

Or maybe it was the result of prolonged proximity, a sort of intimacy and trust bred from many nights spent in shabby motels, meals at unpalatable truck-stop diners, and the shared adrenaline from taking down bad guys in between.

Though, if Adelina had to guess, she might be inclined to say it was the fault of their mothers, or their families, entirely. Much like Adelina, Natasha had no memories of either parent. She’d been thrown headfirst into a life that she never asked for, never desired. A life defined by isolation, secrecy, deception - one that very few would ever truly understand.

But Adelina was one of the few. She saw through the Widow’s facade, recognized the pain, the emptiness, caused by a past unknown - the same pain, the same emptiness, that existed within herself. And maybe that had stirred something in Adelina, drawing her to the assassin turned spy, and convincing her that she could trust the woman who was literally raised to deceive and destroy.

Adelina had been stupid and naive, blinded by her desire to belong, to have a friend - anything to make life worth living when she had been alone for so long and was beginning to fear she would always be alone. Fury had promised answers, but what if even he couldn’t find them? What if she wasted her entire life searching for answers that were never meant to be found?That possibility plagued her thoughts often enough that she had allowed herself to indulge in a friendship, to care about someone enough to risk everything for them. Only for her to realize that friends were overrated and she was an idiot for finding one in the woman who was literally raised to be a traitor.

Not only that - she was an idiot for underestimating Nick Fury, for believing he wouldn’t suspect her when the man was supposedly unraveling her history in order to find her answers. She had managed to keep her abilities hidden for almost three years. An impressive feat in and of itself, especially considering the dangers of being an agent, though she realized soon after Natasha’s betrayal that Fury had more than likely been aware of her secret for months, if not longer, before he’d ordered the Widow to entrap her.

Initially, Adelina had believed it to be pure luck when he agreed to maintain the terms of their deal, especially after the outburst she’d directed towards him that fateful day. Her friendship with Natasha may have pulled her focus from her goals, her reasons for joining S.H.I.E.L.D. in the first place, but the Widow’s betrayal provided recalibration, instilling a newfound determination within her. Those answers, those missing puzzle pieces to her life, would be her salvation, would make everything worth it. They would make her whole.

But then she was relegated to the head of a security detail for some politician in Washington, D.C., far away from Nick Fury and the answers he promised. She waited patiently the first few weeks, enduring the tediousness of the American capital and its divisive politics, until a month had passed and the director had yet to return a single phone call, email, or text message.

That was when the anger began to grow. And grow. And grow.

It continued to grow until Adelina, unable to reign in her powers, was forced to confine herself to the safety of her apartment. Several weeks passed before she was able to regain control, though not entirely. The anger, the rage, refused to leave her. It only became suppressed, quietly simmering beneath her skin, always waiting to be acknowledge - to be wielded.

And when Nick Fury had finally decided she was useful again, she had known it was only a matter of time before her anger consumed her once more. Yesterday, she might have been concerned - might have tried harder to suppress her emotions, her powers - if only to ensure she didn’t push her luck with Fury and their bargain.

But now, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed in the midst of chaos aboard the Helicarrier, knowing what she did, she couldn’t care less. She welcomed the rage. Desired it, needed it. Every ounce of anger produced from the bitterness of betrayal, the foulness of lies, the poison of manipulation. All of it threaded together - every awful memory, every vile realization - a tapestry woven from pure ire.

Anger was better than tears, better than grief, better than guilt. It made her fearless, capable of anything and everything. Anger was warm, comforting. It enveloped her like a second skin, like it was meant for her. Anger was a fire burning within her, begging to be released.

And as Adelina opened her eyes, they burned with amethyst flames.