TW: Mentions of suicide, homosexuals
Disclaimer: This takes place in the Netflix universe but adds some aspects from the comics. Don’t worry too much about the continuity of it, I just prefer Netflix FrankMatt but for plot reasons, I needed to add stuff from the comics. ( - indicates a scene change )
-
Hell's kitchen was never quiet, not to Matt Murdock. The meer sounds of someone breathing from below the building he was perched upon were enough to fill his ears. Matt was always vigilant, never surprised by anything. Every small sound helped him create a picture of what was around him, the drops of rain from a storm wanting to form helped him understand that clouds plastered the sky, and the smell of shitty beef gave him a picture of the McDonald across the street. It was all of this and more that gave Matt the power above others, he could not be startled and he could not be scared. The Man without fear is what he was called Daredevil. It was fitting, it would appear he wasn’t afraid of anything. As the devil of hell's kitchen, he faced countless thugs and even undead ninjas back in 2017, all without a flinch. Although, to call him a man without fear wouldn’t be entirely true. One thing petrified Matt Murdock, and that was couples therapy.
Couples therapy scared Matt because of one thing, admitting he and Frank Castle were a couple. In hindsight, it would be stupid to deny. Matt and Frank have gone on dates for months now. They would have Dinners in parts of town that wouldn’t question attorney Matt Murdock and mass murderer Frank Castle sharing a meal. They tended to frequent a couple of places within the Kitchen, places that would never contact the authorities because it would put them in danger. One night, they went to a dinghy roller rink during the week when no parents could drive their children to skate. They were one of the only ones in there, the only other people in the rink being a group of teenagers and the three employees. It was clear that to anyone from an outsider's perspective, they most definitely were a couple. But Matt would never say they were.
“Oh we’re just friends,” he said to Foggy when he pestered him for the third time in a week about his relationship with Frank.
“ You go on dates every week and just today he kissed you goodbye” chimed Karen. She was in the kitchen making some coffee for the boys when she overheard Matt and Foggy talking in Matt's office.
“ We do not go on dates and he’s a grown man, he can kiss me goodbye if he wants, it doesn’t have to be romantic. So for the last time, we aren’t together”
Matt wasn’t having any of this, every week Karen and Foggy would team up against him to try to get him to admit he and Frank were a couple. Each time she would deny it, each time they wouldn’t believe her. Honestly, it was getting frustrating, he didn’t have a boyfriend and that boyfriend definitely wasn’t Frank Castle.
-
Frank loved his boyfriend in every sense of the word, that's why when he came back to Matt's office after he forgot to give him some court notes Matt had him hold to hear him saying they weren’t dating, shattering his heart. Frank was stunned and he stood in the doorway, just looking at Matt in his office. Karen and Foggy noticed him first, which caused an initial silence after Matt finished speaking. It was obvious Matt was so wrapped up in clearing his name as Frank's boyfriend, that he didn’t notice the man's sturdy heartbeat.
Frank slowly walked into the office where Matt and Foggy were located, heavy steps that Matt couldn’t misplace even if he tried.
“Frank- What are you doing here”
“ I forgot to hand these back to you”. Frank handed him the papers, and Matt grabbed them with a shaky hand.
“Um- Thanks”. Matt smiled at Frank, the same smile that made Frank forget about every trouble and worry in his life. If he weren’t pissed at Murdock right now, he would make some flirtatious comment about how beautiful it was.
Frank went to leave, not saying a word, just making a b-line for the door. Foggy sprung to action and practically ran to grab Frank's arm.
“ No, nope, this is not happening,” Foggy said firmly, he points at Frank, “ You are staying, and you” he then points to Matt “ - are going to fix this, you both are”
“Get your hands off me Nelson”
“No, Foggy's right Frank, you two have to talk '' Karen was assertive and sure when she spoke. Anytime she talked to someone, she had a way to get what she wanted. Not in a manipulative way, no, she had this power over people through speech to get people to do what she wanted cause she never backed down. Frank respected the hell out of her for it, meaning, despite wanting to run out that door, he complied.
“ damn you Page”
-
Foggy and Karen set up the break area to be an appropriate couples counseling session. They turned the couch around so it faced the door and grabbed Matt and Foggy's chairs so Karen and Foggy could face their patients. Matt and Frank sat awkwardly on the sofa, not daring to acknowledge the other's presence. Frank held his head on his hand, resting his elbow on the arm of the couch, while Matt mimicked his position, focusing on the buzzing of the electricity.
“ Okay, let's address the elephant in the room, the status of y’alls relationship,” Foggy says to break the silence. He points toward Matt, “ Why won’t you call Frank your boyfriend”
“Because he’s not”. Frank stiffens, his heartbeat jumps for a split second, and Matt furrows his eyebrows at the sounds of it. He honestly doesn’t know why he doesn’t call Frank his boyfriend, it's not like he was afraid of the idea of having a boyfriend…right?
“No, Matt that's not true, answer again, truthfully”
“I- I don’t know” Matt feels tears beginning to form at the corners of his eyes. Why the hell was he crying? Frank sees the change in Matt's demeanor, and shifts on the couch, and puts his hand on the man's shoulder.
“ Hey, Matty, what's wrong? It's okay, we-” Frank turns his head towards Karen and Foggy, concern and guilt written all over his face, and quickly turns back “ we don’t have to do this”
“No” Matt says quietly with a frail tone “ No, we need to do this” he says more firmly.
“Well then, what's going on?” Frank reaches for the hand Matt was using to hold his head up, forcing him to face towards Frank. Matt wants to know what's going on as much as Frank does. He feels ridiculously guilty, he shouldn’t be the one crying, he’s the one who broke Frank's heart, but Frank isn’t crying, or screaming, he’s holding Matt's hand and giving him his undivided attention. Matt begins to gain his composer so he doesn’t start immediately sobbing once he begins to speak
“I’m sorry Frank, i’m being selfish, i’m just…scared”
“ scared of what?” Frank releases his grip from Matt's hand, and moves his hand to cup Matt's face, and the other rests on Matt's other hand. Matt leans into Frank's hand, listening to his heart. It's sturdy and kind, never wavering, so Matt knows his words are sincere. He sighs.
“ Dating again” Frank understood immediately. Matt hasn’t exactly had the…best luck with his past girlfriends. Elektra died, twice, a young love named Heather killed herself, leaving Matt to find her hanging from the ceiling, another early love named Glorianna was thrown off a roof, and most recently last year, ex assistant district attorney Kirsten Mcduffie died in a train explosion. It's understandable that dating would be terrifying to do again, god Frank understood. When his wife died, he never thought he would love again, but then his relationship with Matt grew and he found it in himself to love again.
“I understand Matty”
“ I know you do, which makes me feel even worse”
“ Why? You don’t need to feel bad Red”
“ Its because your’re not scared and I am, it makes me feel fucking we-”
“Don’t finish that sentence Red, your not weak, your’re the strongest fucking person I know, and your’re allowed to feel scared” Frank stares at Matts face, and rubs his hand on Matts cheek, and Matt leans into it. The warmth of Frank's hand soothes Matt, making him feel secure. Matt put one of his hands on the one on his face, slowly grabbing it with the other so he was holding it with both of his hands. He raises his head towards Frank, and gives his hand a soft squeeze
“ I think I’m ready not to be”
-
Should i write an epilogue