Peter Parker had never felt so alone without actually being alone. Day in and day out he was surrounded by other people just like him -- superheroes that came from all walks of life. Normal, everyday people, yet exceptional people that wanted to be around him and wanted to talk to him (although Peter never really considered himself to be exceptional).
Since meeting up with the Avengers, life was never boring. He hardly had time to be himself anymore, spending the majority of his time as Spider-Man now and hanging around at Avengers Tower. They had even given himself his own specially designated bedroom and still he refused to reveal his identity. He felt it would be a betrayal of Gwen in some strange way that he couldn’t describe.
He had lost so much as both Peter and Spider-Man, but still the suit felt more comfortable than his own skin. These days he only removed his suit to shower.
Otherwise, Spider-Man was who he was.
His room was nice enough, though. The comforter was bright blue to match his uniform and one of Tony Stark’s assistants had plastered up some Amazing Spider-Man posters on the walls, as well as other vaguely American-themed decor. He had a simple desk with a brand new laptop and a couple of comic books were piled up in a lazy stack in the corner of the room -- a gift from Steve Rogers.
Laying in his simple full-sized bed, he removed the face covering of his suit and stared up at the ceiling. The others didn’t feel this way. Steve Rogers was...well, Steve Rogers. He didn’t stay in his Captain America uniform, he felt more comfortable without it. Tony Stark would look insane if he walked around as Iron Man 24/7, and if Bruce Banner remained The Hulk for all hours of the day there may not be an Avengers Tower anymore.
The only examples that he could think of who were sort of like him were Wanda, Natasha, and Clint. They mostly stayed in the same clothes when they were out on missions as they did when they were lounging about Avengers Tower. He shrugged at the thought. Maybe he wasn’t so broken after all, though he certainly felt that way.
A gentle knock came from the door and Peter could not help but think that it sounded like the way that Gwen had knocked on his door -- light and delicate. After the horrors that had befallen his late girlfriend though, he knew that it wasn’t. It was likely Wanda, who always stopped by to make sure that he was okay and bring him a hot cup of tea.
“Come in,” Peter said, pulling the covering back over his face. He was no longer Peter and once again just Spider-Man.
“Hey Spidey,” Wanda said gently. As expected, she carried two hot cups of tea in her hands. She set one down on a coaster on Peter’s desk. By now she knew that he would not remove his face covering to share a drink with her, but Peter figured that she still held out hope. He would drink it when she had gone and left and the hot tea had cooled.
“Hi Wanda,” Peter said, sitting up in bed. He scooted over to clear enough room for her.
“You didn’t show up for breakfast this morning,” she said. “You were missed. I asked Tony if he wouldn’t mind telling the assistants to keep the food on the table in case you wanted to grab some and take it back here later.”
Peter appreciated the sentiment. He usually only ate when he brought back food or if he went out to a local gas station and shoved a Hot Pocket down his throat in a hurry.
“Thanks Wanda,” he smiled beneath the mask. “That was really sweet of you.”
Wanda smiled too, but the grin didn’t reach her eyes. They had bonded a lot because of their mutual loss. She was the only one who he had truly considered revealing his identity too. If he was going to be Peter around anyone in Avengers Tower, it would be Wanda.
“It wasn’t very good today. Eggs, bacon, and soggy waffles,” she laughed. “I didn’t have that much of it myself. I’m interested in going to that gas station that you go to if you want to.”
Peter froze, not knowing how in the world Wanda had known that he would leave the tower for gas station snacks. He wondered for a moment if she had known who he was, if she had somehow seen his face when he removed his mask.
“Tony told me he saw you there when he was going for a walk with Pepper,” she said with a shrug. “No one followed you or anything like that.”
“Oh,” Peter said, unsure of how to respond. “Okay.”
“We get that your identity is important to you. Well, most of us do. Some of the others don’t understand why but I think that I do,” Wanda explained. “It makes sense to me, I mean.”
Peter couldn’t help but feel otherized by Wanda’s explanation. Knowing that the other Avengers thought that he was odd for not revealing who he was was upsetting. He knew that it was odd that he hid himself away so much and that he refused to eat meals with the others as a result.
“Who thinks it’s weird?” Peter asked. “I mean like who wants to know who I am?”
Wanda shrugged and played with the ends of her light brown hair. “Well, everyone wants to know who you are, Spider-Man. Even just that, I would rather use your full name and so would everyone else. We don’t care if your name is Herbert or Xylophone or something odd.”
He supposed that was a valid request. He would like for Wanda to stop having to use his superhero name to address him since they had gotten so close. He just wished that there was
some other name that she could use. He didn’t know if he was ready to be Peter again. Peter was sad, Peter had lost so much. Then again, so had Wanda.
“Right, that makes sense.”
Wanda blew on her tea and then took a sip. “What about a placeholder name? Is there something that isn’t your real name that I could call you instead? Like a nickname or something made up?”
Peter looked at her, the cogs turning in his brain. Maybe. Maybe that could work. Something stirred within him, a mixture of hope and sadness. If he gave Wanda a new name would that mean that he could start over? Could he take off the suit and wear real clothes like the others and be called “Bob”?
No, he didn’t know. He couldn’t make that decision right now in the moment at the very least.
“Maybe,” he said. “I can definitely consider it. It might help.”
Wanda nodded, “It would stop them from calling you Bug Boy and reminding you of your loved one.”
Ouch. Peter knew that Wanda’s intentions were nothing but kind, but the reference to Gwen’s silly nickname for him stung. He was impressed, though, that she had noticed how much it bothered him when Tony Stark called him that. It was even more impressive that she had guessed that it was somehow related to Gwen.
“Yeah,” Peter let out a shaky laugh. “That would definitely be helpful.”
Wanda stood from the bed and took another gentle sip of her tea. “Well, think about it. I have to go meet up with the others to discuss some plans. You’re welcome to join me if you would like, I think that there have been some reports of some increased crime in the city that
Tony and Steve are suspicious of. It seems like there’s something bigger going on behind the scenes.”
“Yeah, of course,” Peter said, nodding his head. “Give me a minute though, I’ll catch up. Where did you say you guys were meeting?”
“The bigger conference room,” she said with a lovely grin. “And think about that nickname, will you?”
***
The meeting was horribly boring, but Peter made sure to nod along with Steve and Tony’s
presentation. He sat in-between Bruce and Wanda but struggled to keep his eyes open with his belly full of hot tea while discussions of the suspicious string of ATM robberies took place. The theory was that a group of individuals were trying to break into the systems of the banks themselves to stage larger bank robberies that could potentially dismantle the government.
Despite the severity of the repercussions of these actions, Peter found the topic itself to be boring. He preferred saving people from being hit by buses or smashed to death by large monsters. For him, being a superhero was about directly saving the lives of the people and ensuring their safety.
“Spidey? You in?” Tony asked. Everyone in the room was staring at him and Peter suddenly realized that he had in fact dozed off during the presentation. Across the meeting table, Natasha shook her head at him with disapproval, earning an elbow from Clint.
“Uh, er- sorry, could you repeat the question?” Peter asked sheepishly.
“Will you, little spidery powers man, do this little spidery job for us and stand on the roof while we hang around the next bank that we think that they are going to go for?” Tony used his hands to explain the scene. He was acting how Tony usually did, with all of his attitude and sass
on full display, but Peter knew that it was all for show. Tony was especially nice to Peter when it was just the two of them, but around the rest of the group he liked to make an example of anyone who wasn’t fully contributing to the rest of the Avengers.
“Yeah,” Peter said confidently. “Of course I will.”
“Good, glad to see that even though you may not be willing to pay attention, you’re still willing to contribute,” Tony smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.
Steve rolled his eyes at him playfully. “We think that they will try to hit Emerald Bank tomorrow sometime between 9 am and 11 am. Clint, Spidey, and Natasha will be posted up. The rest of us will be on call. If they show for it, we go for it.”
The other Avengers around the table nodded their heads in approval.
“Do we think these guys have weapons?” Bruce asked. “Like not your average thieves? I don’t get it, what’s the catch?”
“Good observation, Bruce. These guys,” Steve pointed to the surveillance images of the crooks. “These are not your average bank robbers. We have reason to believe that they may be working for a larger villain from another part of the universe. They’ve been spotted with weapons that we are entirely unfamiliar with.”
Oh, Peter thought. Maybe I shouldn’t have slept through this.
“Great,” Wanda said, the tone of her voice signaling that she thought that this revelation was anything but great.
“I thought you would be up for a new challenge,” Tony teased.
Wanda crinkled up her nose. “I’m always up for a challenge.”
“So am I,” Peter said, standing from his seat at the conference table. “I’ll see you all in
the morning.”
***
There were two thieves just as the briefing from Steve and Tony had said there would be. They emerged from an unmarked white van which noticeably lacked a license plate. One man was tall and lanky and the other man was short and stout. Peter nearly laughed out loud from the ridiculousness of the stereotypes. They looked like henchmen, not true villains themselves, but Peter had no doubt that Iron Man and Captain America were correct in their assessments.
Clint shot an arrow behind himself, letting off a quick flash of red light as a signal to the others that their targets had arrived at Emerald Bank.
Peter watched as the black, armored van swung around the corner. He knew that the van contained Bruce, Steve, and Wanda. Tony would be rocketing himself around the corner on Clint’s second signal.
That is, until Clint dropped the flare arrow as he was notching it in his bow. The red light flashed directly in front of the men, rather than behind their watchful eyes.
Peter hit the deck, but looked on as the two men gazed up at the rooftops above them, spotting both Clint and Natasha on their respective buildings.
The shorter of the two picked up a weapon out of the back of the white van. The gun was nearly as large as the man’s body, but it appeared to be light as he picked it up and aimed it straight for Natasha who stood up on the rooftop of the building to Peter’s left.
“‘Tasha get down!” Clint yelled.
Peter didn’t have any time to call out for her to react. Instead, he attached a web to the other building and swung himself across, knocking her to the ground with his own body. As he toppled on top of her, a beam of bright blue light darted past their heads.
He watched as Clint also hit the deck, narrowly avoiding being hit by a second blast.
A whirring noise filled Peter’s ears and he glanced up at the sky. Above him, Tony had appeared and began firing back at the two thugs below them. He bodyblocked so that Peter and Natasha could rise to their feet. Natasha grabbed onto him and he swung them down to the streets below them to join the others.
The others had already swept into action, moving to surround the two villains, but they had already made for the inside of the bank.
“Make sure to block all of the exits!” Steve shouted, taking off into the bank along with Natasha.
“I’ll go with Spider-Man,” Wanda said, clinging to his side. She looked up at Bruce who was now in his massive hulk form. “Green Man, do not go inside, stay outside with us.”
The Hulk grunted his approval and took one look at the white van before smashing it to smithereens with his massive green fists.
From inside the bank, Peter could hear the shrill scream of the alarm and the loud blasts of the mysterious weapon that the men had in their clutches. He watched as Clint and Tony moved to the back side of the bank.
Peter heard Steve scream with surprise from inside the building as he deflected a particularly large blast with his shield. Wanda burst through the doors, dragging Peter behind her and into the fray. But just as they entered the bank, the two men disappeared with yet another large blue flash, leaving behind a piece of paper on the ground.
The occupants of the bank remained frozen in fear, the Avengers within the bank included. Peter walked up to the piece of paper slowly, worried that it might explode or
something. He had seen so much since he started working with the Avengers, nothing would surprise him anymore.
On the cream-colored marble floor, the sheet of paper read “YOU’RE BEING WATCHED”.
***
“That was rough,” Natasha admitted, plopping her lithe form down on a dark leather
couch. Her red hair was disheveled, but she didn’t bother fixing it. “I hate feeling so disorganized. Those guys seemed like such an easy target, but somehow they weren’t. It felt bad, it felt like we were going to lose each other.”
Wanda sat with her arms folded over her chest. Peter couldn’t help but notice that she was trying to make herself smaller than she was. He knew that she did that when she was afraid or thinking of her lost brother.
“That reminded me of something I would rather not talk about,” Steve echoed.
“It wasn’t that they were scary, or even that they were skilled. It’s that we underestimated them,” Tony ground out through gritted teeth. Pepper was standing next to him, bandaging up some scrapes and cuts on his arms.
Peter nodded his agreement. He remained standing, deciding against joining the others on the couches. “It’s okay guys, we didn’t die, no one died, and we have another chance at them since they’re apparently watching us and all.”
“That doesn’t really reassure me much,” Wanda murmured under her breath.
“We do this because we believe in protecting people, though,” Peter said sympathetically. “Even if it means putting ourselves in danger. We stand up for what we believe in.”
Tony winced at the sting of alcohol as Pepper cleaned his wounds. “Of course this is what we believe in. Thank you for your wise words, Bug Boy.”
Peter felt like the wind had been knocked right out of him. Behind his eyes, he saw Gwen’s face, he saw her death, he saw the disappointment in her eyes.
“Don’t call him that, Tony,” Wanda snapped. “Someone special used to call him that, I’ve told you a thousand times!”
“He never told me that though,” Tony said with a shrug. “How am I supposed to know if the kid won’t tell me himself?”
“Tony,” Wanda said, her tone a warning to not cross her further.
Peter appreciated her standing up for him. He thought of her as the older sister that he had never had and he was glad that she said something, but Tony was right. How would they know what bothered him and what didn’t if he never spoke up about it?
Steve spoke about Peggy and about his past and how jarring it was to wake up so far in the future, even Tony complained of what he wished his life could look like, Wanda was more than honest about grieving the loss of her brother. Even Natasha had opened up about the horrors that she had gone through when most people expected her to be cold and unfeeling.
All of them could do that and Peter didn’t even have the guts to let them know Gwen’s name even, let alone his own.
“Wanda, he’s right though,” Peter said suddenly.
All of the heads in the room turned to look at him. Well, not him, at Spider-Man.
“I treat you all like my friends, but you don’t know enough about me to do the same, and
that’s my fault.”
“We understand, Spidey,” Steve said empathetically. “It’s hard to open up.”
“I know you understand, you’ve all been nothing but kind to me,” Peter said. “But I think it’s time.”
Natasha looked between Peter and Clint as if she was trying to understand something that she couldn’t. “Time for what?”
“I’m sorry for talking to you guys like you're not my friends. You are my friends, I consider myself to be close to you all, but I understand that you can’t feel like you’re close to me when I don’t even show my face around here. You all call me Spidey or Spider-Man and that is who I am, but it also isn’t.”
“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, kid,” Bruce said from his seat next to Steve. “Don’t do this if you aren’t ready. We’ll wait for you, we like having you around.”
“I appreciate that, really I do, but it is time.”
The Avengers all watched on from their seats around the sitting room of Avengers Tower. Wanda looked upset, Steve looked pensive, Tony looked a little smug that he had been able to convince Peter that he was right. Natasha and Clint were a little confused but also compassionate. Bruce looked serene and supportive.
Peter knew these were his friends, that he had found his own version of family. He hadn’t replaced what he had lost but he had found community in these people. For once in his life he felt like he really belonged somewhere.
“My name is Peter Parker,” he said. His shaky hands moved to his mask, fingers gripping at the edges.
The others looked on at him expectantly waiting for the big reveal. The mask slipped off easily and there he stood in front of the others.
“I’m Peter. I’m 20 years old. I lost my mom, I lost my dad, I lost my Uncle Ben. And just recently, I lost the absolute love of my life,” he admitted, tears coming to his eyes. “Her name was Gwen Stacy and she loved me and I loved her and that’s all that ever mattered.”
Tony looked to Pepper, emotion coming to his own dark eyes. He then looked back to Peter and gave him a sad smile. “She’s who called you Bug Boy, huh kid?”
“Peter,” Wanda said, testing the name on her tongue. “His name is Peter, Tony.”
Peter laughed and the motion made the tears that teetered at the corners of his eyes roll down his cheeks.
“Yeah, she called me Bug Boy. She was the best thing that ever happened to me,” his eyes found each member of the Avengers. “And you all are the second best thing that ever happened to me. Finding you all in my time of need has been more helpful than I can even describe.”
“Same,” Natasha said coolly. “I hate to admit it but I love each and every one of you jerks, however annoying you may be.”
“When you’re here, you’re family,” Steve said nobly, sitting up a little straighter.
Peter snorted. “Isn’t that the Olive Garden slogan?”
The group giggled at Steve’s mistake. Even Wanda, who he wasn’t sure had ever been to
an Olive Garden.
“I don’t know what that is,” Steve said sheepishly, his cheeks flushing light pink.
Wanda scooted over and patted the seat next to her for Peter to take a seat with the others
instead of standing up like an outcast.
“Every hero has a story, kid. So why did you become Spider-Man?” Tony asked.
“Ah, that,” Peter sighed. “Well, I’m sure the reason is the same as most of all of you. I have lost so much...to the point where I don’t even know if it really matters if I lose myself too. And instead of just ... well, being sad. I thought that I might as well use the power that I do have to do good while I’m here. To help make sure that other kids don’t end up like me, that other people don’t have to live without their soulmates.”
“It’s worth it,” Steve agreed. “I came to the same conclusion when I woke back up. I’m here, so why not?”
“Yeah,” Peter said. “Why not? Why not decide to live for tomorrow again?”
He looked to Wanda, who was smiling with tears in her eyes. With that expression, Peter knew that she was thinking of her brother, Pietro.
“It’s going to be okay, Wanda,” Peter said reassuringly. “Everything we do, we do in their memory.”