Helplessness.
The cold dead body of his one and only family left in the entire universe held within his arms. Cradled by all the love he never had the chance to give while the hand he had held was warm.
"Brother..."
Thor weep at his weakness of being unable to protect Loki. The big brother was supposed to be the one protecting the little brother, but Loki protected him instead.
Resulting in him being lifeless before Thor.
A part of Thor want Loki to show up and prove that he faked his death like the previous times. Thor hoped Loki would make fun of him for falling for his brilliant tricks and the two would bicker to one another about how it wasn't funny or Thor not having a sense of humor.
"Brother, you're all I have"
Thor hold Loki's hand tighter as he remember their parting.
The sun will shine upon us again was what Loki had said.
How Thor want to believe his beloved brother's words. That beyond this tribulations, he will once again find happiness.
But only Thor knows that he would not be happy. His one and only happiness, his brother, is no more.
Taken from Thor by the purple giant over a piece of stone.
Loki's life was only a piece of stone's worth.
This angers Thor to the core of his very being. He swears on his brother's and his people's dead bodies that he will avenge them. He will kill Thanos.
And possibly bring them all back. Bring Loki back.
Thor was floating in space, frozen for so long he was surprised that he was still alive and not reunited with his brother.
He was saved by- they call themselves The Guardian Of The Galaxy. A very complicated name to wrap around but he wish not to argue further. He is tired. Sad and tired.
The more Thor is left to himself, he will think about Loki. His thoughts would always come to Loki.
Loki.
Loki is gone. Thor just got his brother back and it was taken from him.
Anger flares up and Thor accidentally slammed the ship and making a dent on its wall. Earning him an earful from the crew. But they don't know what its like to lose your brother, the one and only thing he had left.
"I need a ship"
Thor's head keeps thinking. Thinking. Thinking. Loki. Loki. Loki.
A failure he is. How he was the one who should have died instead of Loki. The only driving thing he has now is vengeance.
He will Kill Thanos. Make him suffer. The same way he made Thor suffer.
"You okay there, pal?"
The rabbit– Rocket is its name called out to Thor who is being absent minded.
"Nothing to worry about rabbit" Thor appreciate the worry but he feels fine.
"Look, you've been letting out these– murderous aura for quite some time and that's distracting me. So unless you want us to crash to an asteroid and kiss your hammer bye-bye, you better quit it." Rocket went back to facing the front of the ship, simply clicking his tongue in annoyance because of being called a rabbit. The thunder god behind him is giving off a dangerous aura, like a ticking time bomb that is about to explode at any moment and he does not want to be there when it snaps.
Groot looks up from his game for a moment but resume to look down when his eye catch the thunder god looking at him as well.
Thor sighs, "Apologies" and he said this with the utmost sincerity. He cannot stop thinking about Loki. His mind drifts even from the most basic thoughts to Loki. He would remember their times together, their new found relationship after working together as brother would.
Why won't his brother leave his mind? Even if Thor want his brother to get out of his head, deep down he enjoy thinking of what they would be like if Thanos hadn't brutally murdered Loki. How Thor would make up to his brother and try to improve their relationship. How the two of them will depend on each other because there was only the two of them left. How Thor would hug his brother good morning until Loki gets mad.
Though unrealistic, the thought of his brother being there with him, together brings Thor peace.
More and more of Loki and what if scenarios brew in Thor's mind. He thinks he is slowly going insane. His brother won't leave his mind. His brother won't leave his mind. His brother won't leave his mind.
The rabbit and tree couldn't stop looking at him weirdly and concerned. Thor Odinson didn't need their concern. He is fine. As long as he is going to kill Thanos he is fine.
Loki.
Thor arrived on Nidavellir.
Loki.
Thor being burned by the star.
Loki.
Thor finally have the weapon to kill Thanos. His brother shouldn't plague his mind anymore.
He did it. Thor finally did it. He had slain the monster who killed his brother. Loki.
The giant was there with the last stone, and he stuck with his stormbreaker, its head which is now rolling on the ground as the huge body fell.
Thor approaches the dead body and watch as the pool of disgusting liquid started to form. Despite the win, Thor doesn't feel satisfied. He felt empty.
Why wouldn't he be, his brother is not with him.
What was the point of all of this if Loki is not here in the end? Will Thor wither in agony for the rest of his life without Loki? The slightest chance of moving on escapes him as the thoughts of Loki keeps plaguing his mind like a curse. It wouldn't even be a surprise if Loki had cursed him to not be able to live without the trickster. Time feel as it stopped as voices forming inside his head.
"Brother."
Thor can hear the taunts in his ears with the voice he is familiar with, Loki's.
"I love you, brother"
How long had Thor wanted to hear those words. "I love you too, little brother." Thor desperately want Loki back. Why were they separated so quickly.
Thor's eye glance upon the golden gauntlet. The stones lighting up full with power. His peop–brother died because of these cursed stones. He wants to destroy them.
"Are you sure, brother? Won't they be of use?" Loki said inside his head, words laced with familiar manipulative tone.
Thor closes his eyes to get rid of the voices inside his head, to focus on his goal. He survived being haunted by Loki for these past few days, surely he can survive a couple of minutes destroying the gauntlet.
A sudden shiver crawl up Thor's spine as he hears Loki in his ear "Open your eyes, brother"
Thor open his eyes and saw his brother standing in front of him with his famous smirk. "Loki!" Thor couldn't believe his eyes. His brother, Loki sanding in front of him, Alive. The only thing he wanted.
"How the god of thunder has fallen." Loki reached out his hand to hover above Thor's cheek, never landing. "You've gone insane, brother. You're making things up in your mind"
"No! You're here brother! You cannot be a figment of my imagination." The thunder god tries to hold Loki's hand but all he held is air, nothingness.
"You cannot touch hallucinations, brother. I'm in your head. The creation of your mind produced from all the what if, if only, i wish, you repeat everyday." Loki hugs his brother by the next, taunting him. "The desire you've build up from these last few days. I am what you make me to be, Thor."
Deep down Thor know Loki is right. He can sense himself losing it even from the last few days. Loki. Loki. Only Loki in his head. His obsession is too strong it conjured a new Loki. A Loki only he can see. A Loki who he knows is the part of him that will push- manipulate him to do the things he will never imagine to do. To be selfish.
Loki's eyes land to the shiny gauntlet on the giant's arm "You know what to do, Brother. That gauntlet wouldn't use itself." Loki release his hold on Thor. "Don't leave me for too long, Thor."
Even if Thor was unable to feel the touch, having Loki's hand off him made him a bit empty and lonely. But he understands that this is only temporary. The gauntlet, it was the answer to it all. The shiny stones full with power and the ability to bed reality itself. This was what he need. This is what he deserves, Loki coming back to him.
"Brother, hurry, there are people coming. They are trying to separate me from you. I'm scared." Loki crouched in fear behind Thor. Body trembling despite his earlier confident and cocky demeanor, fully helpless and reliant on his big brother.
There is no way Thor can leave his little brother to fend for himself.
Thor cut of the dead purple giant's arm, bend down to take the gauntlet off and hold it in his hand. He will meet Loki again.
Just as Loki said, people are coming their way. Thor could hear their rushed footsteps behind him, anxious to see the situation. When they arrived, the one in blue tight clothes and a shield, the captain stood in the middle "Thor, did you kill Thanos?" The corpse underneath the captain answers his question. "The world is saved. Thank you, Thor."
The witch who was weeping for her lover finally woke up from her trance. She saw the monster that killed her husband, dead. She look pleadingly to the ones around her "Please, can you give the mind stone to me. I want vision back"
The captain agrees to he request of the scarlet witch, he gives her a hug and comfort her with words that her husband will be back. That only made the witch cry even more.
Despite all of these strong emotion of relief around him. Thor didn't feel a thing. He wouldn't. He couldn't. Why would he? His brother is not back and one of the stones he needs to go to Loki is promised to a witch so that she could get her husband back. But Thor wouldn't get Loki back!
"Brother, are you going to leave me alone? You don't want me anymore? Do you hate me now?" Loki, pitifully look down in shame and sadness. As if he should have expected Thor to choose to save another than him. "I am okay, Thor. I am used to it."
"No Loki, no. Brother." Thor pleaded. The current Loki reminded him of the baby brother he once lost. The one who would always rely on his big brother and would cry easily when Thor will leave their shared bedroom. But seeing that Loki so sad always make him sad. "I will always care for you, Loki. I will always choose you."
Seeing the Thunder God talking to himself, the other two couldn't help but speak up. "Thor? Are you okay?" Said the captain.
Not listening to either of them, Thor put the gauntlet on his hand. The captain and the witch began yelling in panic, pleading to know what Thor is going to do and not do anything rash.
"Put the gauntlet down!"
The crying Loki disappeared and is replaced by another Loki, a familiar one, the one who always gets what he wants, smiling and smug. "See you soon, Brother. Don't waste your other chance."
"I'm coming, Loki" Thor raise his hand and looks at it. The only way back. To Loki.
"Thor, don't do it"
"No please!"
Thor snap his fingers and everything around him disappeared.
"If I might interject... "
He is familiar with this place, with this scene. The scene that repeated multiple times inside his head, like a nightmarish haunting. Helpless, restrained, silenced, watching the collapse of his world before his eyes without being able to do a thing.
"If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena."
Loki, standing in front of the purple giant. Exhausted, behind his strong and mischief facade lies fear of the fate he knows what his action would bring. It was never seen so clearly before by him. He had thought Loki was acting foolish, too rash.
"If you consider failure experience."
"Almighty Thanos, I... Loki, Prince of Asgard... Odinson. "
Odinson. This is the moment Loki once again accept the fact that he is an Odinson. That they are family, the two of them can be family. Loki Odinson.
He likes the sound of that.
"The rightful King of Jotunheim. God of Mischief... do hereby pledge to you, my undying fideli-" Before Loki could finish, something zoomed from behind him.
CLANG-
"FATHER!"
In front of Loki, Thanos who was towering over him and everyone here. Who had killed his people. Who had probably almost kill him, is standing with his head decapitated. The body falls down on it's back. At the end of Loki's vision, there was an axe buried deep into the metal wall of the ship, stained with Thanos's blood and like it has a life of itself, it pulled itself backwards and fly pass him again, behind him. Like, Mjolnir.
Loki quickly turn to look behind him and he saw, Thor walking out from the shadows with the same giant axe that killed the purple giant and a familiar gauntlet on his left hand. Except this one has all the stones.
"Thor...? How did you? That-"
The God of Mischief is cut off by the sudden embrace. Thor holding him tight as if there is no tomorrow, making it hard to breathe with all his bulky muscle.
"Get off me you oaf or are you planning on killing me instead?" Loki tries to push Thor away from him, not wanting to give Thor the satisfaction of mutual affection.
"I missed you, brother. Is it wrong to hug after a long separation?"
Loki raises an eyebrow, "You do realise we are surrounded by minions of the giant you murdered with the axe that showed up out of nowhere. Which intents on removing our skin and bones as revenge by the looks they are giving us. So yes, this situation is not the right time for frolicking"
"I'm sorry, brother. I forgot about them. Let me." Thor raises his left hand and snap his fingers.
Loki watches as the enemies around them began to disintegrate into dust. A slight fear struck into him as he feel the cold metalic gauntlet worn by Thor on his body. Loki turn his head ever so slightly at the spot where Thor was supposed to be gagged and caged but all he sees are the rubble metals.
Feeling a bit more guarded, Loki desperately want to leave the embrace of this familiar yet unfamiliar man. "Thor?" he questions.
Thor release his hold on Loki and stand to him face to face, he couldn't help but drop Stormbreaker and caress the cheek of his brother "What is it, Loki?"
Loki glanced wide eyed at the hand on his cheek, he pushes the hand away with his own. "Now that they are all dead. Do you mind telling me how this-" Loki pointed at the gauntlet "-happened?"
As if Thor didn't hear Loki, he brushes off the question "These past few days? months? I have been suffering without you. My memory of you is the only comfort I have. You are all I think about, Loki. Everyday, every second of the day. When I am awake you are all I think about, when I am asleep you appear in my dreams. They keep reminding me of what I lost, what I missed, who was the one I cared about the most. When you told me... begged me to come back to you, I feel nothing but joy for my brother missed me as much as I had missed him."
Hearing Thor's words, Loki didn't understand any of it. They've been together since Ragnarok, and neither ever left the ship and Loki will never in his life beg to Thor. The whole situation doesn't make any sense. He need to leave.
"I'm here now, brother. You don't need to cry anymore. I will never abandon you ever again." Thor hugs Loki again, not getting enough of the other's body warmth.
"I will always find a way back to you, Loki. Even if I have to destroy a universe to do it. I will always choose you."
"Don't think of leaving me again, brother. I don't want to resort to do something you hate."
Loki retracted his hand from his dagger, he know he will never win. "You're mad, Thor"
"I guess I am. You made me like this... or maybe I always were crazy..." Thor mulls over his sanity for a while until an idea struck him and he brightens immediately. "Let's settle down somewhere, just the two of us. Somewhere where no danger can befall us, no one can find us."
"Just you and me"
"Forget Asgard, let us be wed and swear an oath"
"I love you, Loki. I can't wait to spend the rest of our time together"
"Forever"
"Nothing can keep us apart, I will make sure of it."
"What do you say, Loki?"