Spys are supposed to be aware of everything. No matter how little the thing is. So being a ex-assassain- she should be aware of every sign there is to a person
But how could someone take a note of something they didn’t know how to? Being taught love is a weakness has its downsides. Much less friendship
Friendship has always been something Yelena never exactly had. The Red Room engraved it into the young Widows heads that such a thing is a sign of weakness. Something that would kill them and make them easy to target against.
Something that made you more disposable
She believed that until the day she was freed- yet being how she was, how she wasn’t gentle friendship was still hard. Spending most of her time alone- Until Natasha took her to meet the Avengers and she met you- a new member of the chaotic family that made up the Avengers, and for the first time-
Yelena had a friend.
The more she was around you she realized that dispite you being a fighter- you were kind. A unfamiliar type of kind yet welcomed all the same. She can still remember the first time you two met
-
Dragging her feet behind the red head, Yelena grumbled in annoyance. She didn’t need nor want to meet them this week.. or ever- she wanted to go back home and rest up her aching muscles. After the fighting and beating that old man-she wanted to sleep. Putting her hands in her vest pocket she straightened herself up when her sister glanced back at her.
Entering the room following her sister closely the once lively room stopped, almost like someone hit pause in a movie, she already hated this. “This is my sister Yelena.” Natasha started to introduce everyone one by one. Yet she doesn’t remember any of their names even after meeting them. She thinks one of their names is barney? Well one name stood out- who the hell names their kid “Bucky”? Does he have buck teeth or something or what.
Then as she thought her day couldn’t get any worse, someone came into the room, an odd feeling crept up in her stomach, twisting and turning- not like being punched or stabbed.. but it was weirdly nice? What is this feeling? This almost numbing feeling? A good type of numbing. Deciding to ignore the weirdly knowing look on her sisters face she turned to the other person and held her hand out-unlike what she did for the others.
“I’m Yelena Belova. Natasha’s sister”
“I’m Y/N! Nice to meet you” grabbing her hand gently a warm spark like feeling crept up into the women.
Guess this won’t be so bad
“I like your vest by the way”
…you’re now her favorite
-
Ever since that day, she almost never left your side, if one was around the other is right there. Like two peas in a pod. Best friends- as you would say, the words unfamiliar for Yelena yet she loved them felt a feeling of belonging when you spoke them. She loved that she could sleep in the same room without feeling she’s a burden, or showing a weakness when you comfort her from her nightly terrors, and most of all- she couldn’t sense a ounce of fear from you- like you trusted her fully. She loved that with you- she can experience all she couldn’t when she was younger.
Movie nights with you and her on Saturdays after the group ones. The music you’d show her. And most importantly the gentleness. She never knew how much she craved a soft touch until she met you. Until the day you leaned against her- in a unfamiliar way. Yet it was at the same time from the movies you’ve shown her.
She realized- that’s the softness she heard was a weakness- she liked it. If it was a true weakness- she would welcome it. But she wouldn’t admit it to anyone- keep that ‘secret’ close to her heart.
She was always glad to have you- her bestfriend. Until she wasn’t.
-
She wasn’t fully sure when it started. But one day, she just saw you differently. Maybe she always did like you- but after the talk with her sister, she was made aware she didn’t like you like a friend. Not even as a teammate.
She loved you.
Yet as good as a spy she is. She’s not good at being able to tell who feels love for who- maybe that’s way she missed the signs
Why she missed the longing look towards a certain witch.
The giggles you two would share, the hand holding. She mistook it for friendship after all. You do the same thing with her and some others. Yelena wasn’t sure if you felt the same for her, but she hoped. For now she will hold it in until she was sure it was the perfect time.
Rubbing her thumb acrossed your top hand she smiled softly as you went on and on about some weird show- she didn’t care for the details- just you. The way your eyes crinkle in excitement when you talked about something you loved. The smile she fell for each day as it grew bigger with each word that came out.
She will wait until she was ready- until then she’ll allow herself to be selfish and hold onto this friendship a bit longer.
-
Humming softly you entered the compound looking for a certain blonde. Smiling to yourself once you spotted her in the kitchen. Hopefully not cooking- but Thankfully no interruptions would happen today sinxe everyone minus you and Yelena stayed home. Holding the bag tightly in your hand as you went over. Getting closer you let out a soft sigh- Yelena was only eating cereal
“Boo”
Turning around Yelena gently hit you with the spoon. “Do not go up to someone holding a possible weapon.” She teasingly scolded until the bag caught her eye, gesturing towards it in a silent yet loud way of saying 'What’s in it?’ Handing it over, you couldn’t hide the nervous smile on your face.
Inside was a small blonde bear, wearing a vest almost similar to Yelenas, glancing up curiously she held it in her hands. Her heart pounded heavily in her chest, is this the time-?
“I remember that night you told me you wanted to see a little bear of yourself” you started, as you cleared your throat “after you saw a commercial on build a bear, remember?”
How could she have forgotten that night? The night you held her after a nightmare, one of the worse ones yet- yet you stayed and held her. Distracting her by putting a some TV show on to drown the noise out. Then she saw the commercial, made some joke about making one of you. But how could she tell you? Tell you that she thought of that night everyday since then every passing moment, the thought of being in your arms with two plush bears of you two-made her feel good. But she’s never going to tell you that. No. Never.
“I don’t exactly remember saying that” Yelena carefully confessed after a while, gently taking the bear in her arm. A smile crossed her face “same vest” she spoke- gesturing to the dark vest acrossed the bear and toward the one she almost always wore
“Yes, thankfully it’s practically glued onto you- or I wouldn’t have been able to write the thing accurately” you teased gesturing to the front pocket of the bear. Tilting her head slightly she went into the pocket and pulled a paper out
“Oh.” She started as she looked at the paper “let me guess. It’s a note that says it’s gonna explode?” Turning it over she set the bear down on the table beside her
“Oh yes, of course Lena” leaning against the table smiling, hiding it behind your smile “it was my plan all along~”
Hiding her blush through a fake cough, “anywho what is it?” Drumming her finger on the table slightly in anticipation
“Read it and find out maybe?” You joked sarcasticly earning a soft kick from the blonde. Huffing she opened it reading the hand printed note from you.
Yelena,
I don’t think I say this enough. Thank you for being my bestfriend, you deserve the world.
Y/N (ps you owe me 3 dollars- I know it was you who took it)
The note although sort meant alot to her. She was glad you remembered to keep notes like these short- after the first time, she got so embarrassed and happy she started to cry, earning the teasing from the teammates. Annoyingly
“Y/N…” She started slowly, a smile etched itself on her face. She has an urge to tell the truth but… you deserve a better confession then after you give her something- she thinks you deserve better then that. Deserve someone better but she hopes. Prays that someone could be her
Allowing you to pull her in for a hug, she melted into your embrace. Thank God Natasha wasn’t here or she’d tease the hell out of her. Smiling softly she wrapped her arms around your neck gently. Gently- that’s still something that stumps her- never in her wildest dreams would she have ever thought of being gentle. It’s still a shock everytime she is.
She’s going to find out how to tell you how she feels. She’s going to need to do some research first to make it perfect
-
Its been weeks since that encounter.
Yelena decided today was the day. She was gonna finally confess how she truly felt, she’s spent a couple days researching on how to do this confession thing but she thinks she finally got it. Apparently some people like it when people cook for them? Who knows she never cooked before- but she’s sure she’d be better than Natasha. After all- she can only make cereal(which she needs to be watched after someone decided to heat up the milk)
Ok- making a cheeseburger shouldn’t be that hard right? She’s watched you do it a bunch of times after all- just heat the mini bowl-? Pan thing up then set the meat in and wait
Its not like she was totally not distracted by your face- the consideration on making the food- the cute furrowed look in you eyes as you started to relax as you made it- Yup. She so knows what she’s doing. Totally
Getting the ingredients out she look at the book you had for cooking. Set aside for when she wanted something for you to make. The excitement making her not check to make sure she grabbed the right one. Not like it matters in the end
Why the hell does it not look like it’s in English though? Not sure if that’s even supposed to be accurate. Tossing the kitchen towel over her shoulder. What’s the worst that could happen anyways?
-
Alot- alot of bad stuff could happen.. the fire alarm set off- FRIDAY set steam into the kitchen to make the smoke go away and help tame the fire. Coughing Yelena used the towel to hit the meat that was on fire- how the hell did she mess up so badly? It should have been easy… then again she’s never actually made anything at all- mircowave food doesn’t count- she messes that up as well so-
“Lena?” Stopping her slight panic she turned facing you, a tense smile on her face “what the hell happened in here?” Moving around her to take a peak at the mishap you sighed softly in realization. Taking the pan from the oven you tossed the burnt meat out placing the pan in the sink beside it. Cleaning it in silence as you thought. Why would she cook alone? Usually she’d drag you out to cook together but then just sit and wait complaining for you to cook faster. Daring to take a peak towards the woman your eyes softened. “Lena. You don’t have to be upset about this. It’s ok”
“..I know it’s ok but- I wanted to make this perfect” Yelena confessed- how the hell did she mess this up so horribly? This is so embarrassing- what the hell is she gonna say 'oh I like you take some burnt food’ nah. That’s a terrible idea.
“Nothings exactly perfect Yelena. Whatever this was about I bet it would have tasted good”
…Maybe it’s not a terrible idea…
Before she could say anything you spotted the book she used. Stopping mid clean you put the pan down cleaning your hands real fast from the wet grease. Leaning over you skimmed the books title. Stopping a laugh from escaping. “Yelena” you spoke drawing her attention to you. Handing the book over to her to take
“… yelena this is the Spanish cooking book”
“…fuck” could this get even more embarrassing? How the hell did she miss that? Of all things? A fucking Spanish cook book? What the hell?? How’d she manage that? Of all things.
“I’m so sorry. I wanted to make this perfect for you tonight” Yelena started to ramble. ’Stop not now’ “I wanted to confess how I really felt but the feelings I have for you I can’t just say them-” She took a sharp intake the nervous. What the hell- why couldn’t she stop-? Why couldn’t her mouth close? Why? She didn’t want to say it like this. Not now.
“Wait wait. Yelena” you spoke grabbing her arms to stop her rambling “you.. what..?” You asked, a nervous feeling started to boil over in your stomach. Gulping Yelena faced you again. Deciding to bite the bullet once for all she took a deep breath
“I have feelings for you” silence surrounded the both of you. Unlike the ones from before this wasn’t a comforting silence. Not even close. She watched the confusion on your face as you slowly got what she said. She hopped the reaction would be pleasant- but the look of realization turned sad. She knew.
“Oh.. yelena I’m so sorry” you started letting go of her arms to hold her hands. Thinking of hoe to do this properly “Your like a sister to me. I’m so sorry but I don’t like you like that”
Yelena stood frozen unsure of what to do- the response she got made her chest burn. Not in a butterfly like way but. It hurt, it crushed her- this has to be the worst thing she’s had to face. “It’s ok” Yelena managed to choke out making her hurt face neutral- from practice. Pulling her hands from yours she went around you avoiding you as you attempted to grab her wrist
“Lena-” you started but the quick look Yelena gave you- you backed off. She needed to be alone. Away from you. Away from everyone. Once she got out of sight from you she rushed to her bedroom. Slamming and locking the door quickly.
The tears wouldn’t stop coming
She’s felt pain. Felt hurt from fighting but this was different. Different from when Natasha left her. Different from being sent to the RED Room. It hurt way worse, it was as if you just crushed her heart- moving to the bed she curled up hiding away. She can’t believe she messed up so bad, realizing all along someone else held your heart as you do hers. she wishes she didn’t miss the signs.
And this was the day, Yelena experienced her first heartbreak.