That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Spicy Slime
[You died.]
[Start New Game+?]
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
You know that feeling you get when you realize you're dreaming or being pranked. You know right before the big surprise is revealed and everyone laughs or just as your dream gets good and then suddenly your alarm clock goes off?
I think I stared at those floating words, in that sudden endless void I found myself in, waiting for that moment for a long time.
It never came.
And for the life of me - excuse the pun - I didn't know what that meant or how to feel about it.
On one hand I'd had weirder dreams. Way weirder. Being trapped in an endless void with a video game text screen was pretty tame to be honest. The only problem? I'd never, ever, been so lucid in a dream before. Not without waking up.
So that just left the other hand… Was I actually dead?
That couldn't be it right? I mean I was just hanging out in my friends dorm watching dumb Netflix originals instead of studying for my midterms. Cracking dumb jokes every few seconds when something dumb happened - cause yeah we were those guys, the ones that talked during movies - and shoveling snacks and cheap hard lemonade into our faces.
What could have killed me?
I ran through my recent memories to see but they were no help. We drank. We laughed. We teased. And we ate. I was elbow deep in a bag of Doritos. Everything was fine.
And then I started coughing.
Wait.
It was more painful than normal coughing. And I couldn't breathe. And my friends were yelling. And my vision blurred….
Holy shit.
Did I choke to death on a Dorito?
…
…
…
What kind of lame bullsh-!
Regardless of whatever was going on whether I was really dead or dreaming or on a fucked up hidden camera show or a coma or whatever, I decided to do what I always did. When the going gets tough and the tough is traumatic, repress it to hell and deal with it later.
So! With that upsetting line of thought locked away in my mind, I decided that 'yes', I would like to start a 'new game'. Whatever that meant.
Cause why not right?
[x] Yes
[...Starting New Game+]
[...]
[...]
[Character Creation]
[ ] Import Character
[ ] New Character
…Oh hell yes.
I couldn't count how many hours of my life (my past life?) I spent time on character creation screens for video games. Some were better than others, but I once spent half an hour with the Pokémon character creator. I picked 'new character' without hesitation.
[x] New Character
[...loading new character]
[Sex]
[ ] Female
[ ] Male
[ ] Intersex
The speed at which my dysphoric ass selected 'female' may have set a record. Not even a question. I spent years vying for femininity. And here it was offered to me one a silver platter.
[x] Female
Please and thank you.
[Other options will be randomized based off later selections]
[World State Selection]
[ ] Apocalypse Now
You wake up during an apocalyptic event. The world has ended, and the remnants of humanity are struggling to survive in their new reality. What happened to the world is up to you, but be aware that life as you know it has ceased to exist.
[ ] Parallel
You awaken in a world disarmingly similar to your own, only with a few very solid differences. The choices are yours, from an entire world of gender swapped humans to having dogs be the dominant species on Earth. Perhaps America lost the Cold War, or the Industrial Revolution was postponed for a century. Whatever the case, nothing will be exactly the way you remember it.
[ ] Stranger Than Fiction
You find yourself transported to a fictional world, with all the dangers and excitement therein. The world is chosen at random, but it will be one that you are at least passably familiar with. As recompense, you will be awarded an additional Talent Point.
[ ] The Gamer
Your life is a video game, and you can treat it as such. Awards [Gamer’s Mind] and [Gamer’s Body] Status Effects. The world you find yourself in is chosen at random, and it may not be one you are familiar with.
Huh.
Well that was certainly a lot to think about.
For one, if I really was dead and this was like the reincarnation afterlife or pit stop or whatever else, then it wasn't giving me the option to go back to my life.
Which was honestly kind of bullshit. In most video games New Game plus meant starting the game over with perks from your last run. Not starting the game over with an entirely new map.
For two, I just learned that multiverse theory is potentially a real thing.
…
…
…
[x] Repress it
'Stranger Than Fiction' sounded like the best one. Apparently I'd get extra points or something plus a world I'm familiar with? Honestly I had to restrain myself from choosing that one instantly.
'The Gamer' sounded like a power fantasy anime I would watch. Would a life like that have included a harem?
'Parallel'… Wait. If I chose right I could technically just go back to my old life using that option. Just with a few differences. That I got to dictate. Sure it would be a parallel one and not really the one I left. And that was disheartening. Really disheartening. But effectively it would be the only way to see my loved ones or at the very least some semblance of them again.
And if I really was dead and this wasn't some dumb dream, then that's what I wanted. There was too much, way too much I still wanted from my old life even if it wasn't perfect. And hey! With the Parallel option, I could make it perfect! No wars or oppression or struggles. And I would be born in a body I vibe with!
That sounded like nothing but wins to me.
…
…
What's that you say? What about 'Apocalypse Now'?
Oh right.
Yeah, fuck that. Fuck everything about that I'm good. Pfft.. apocalypse now. Why the fuck would anyone pick that. I couldn't even survive Doritos apparently. I would be back in the afterlife in seconds.
No. After thinking it over for a bit I ultimately decided to pick the option that would let me see my friends and family again.
[x] The Gamer
…
Bro what type of bullshi-!
I didn't do that. I 100% did not pick that one. Why did it select on its own? Was it time sensitive? Was there even time in the weird void world I was in?
[Selecting World. Please Wait...]
What the hell! No! I wanted to see my family. I wanted to see my friends! It wasn't fair!
As I panicked and raged at the choice I had stolen from me for reasons I didn't know, words flashed before me. Names. They must have been all the different worlds that were being sorted through. I didn't care.
None of them would be mine.
Any amount of giddiness or happiness I had managed to find in my short time spent in this void was gone.
[Marvel Cinematic Universe]
And then suddenly it was back, if only a little.
The idea of never seeing my family again was still fresh in my mind. But I was staring at the news that I would be living in the MCU. And I'm a nerd as nerdy as they come.
Mourn loss of loved ones or…
Repress it and geek out…
Mourn loss of loved ones or…
Repress it and geek out…
[x] Repress It :)
My unhealthy and probably selfish decision was made, so I decided to pay attention again.
[Skill Selection]
You have been awarded Three Talent points based on the Completion Status of your previous game. Each Talent may only be taken once unless Specified otherwise. Effects are cumulative.
[ ] The Wolverine: You heal from injuries faster than people can make them using conventional means. Death is still possible, but anything less than full atomic annihilation can be brushed off with enough time to heal. Vulnerable to drowning and suffocation.
[ ] Alabaster: You reset to a pristine condition every 4.3 seconds. This includes physical wounds, poisons or status effects, physical mutations, and any damage to anything you are wearing or holding at the time of reset. If you are utterly destroyed before a reset completes, you will perish.
[ ] Wildcard: One power from the Superpower Wiki is chosen at random and given to you. Your proficiency in this power can be increased with training and heightens exponentially with age. Another Talent Point may be used to reroll for another power if the first is not desired.
[ ] Escalation: The more damage you take, the more stress you feel, the more danger you’re in… the stronger you get. Escalating your form removes wounds and status effects, as well as increases your strength, reflexes, and speed. At your highest Escalation level you are invulnerable and unstoppable, but it will take quite the fight to get you there.
[ ] Man’s Best Friend: All animals and beasts you encounter will automatically be non-hostile to you. If taken multiple times, you gain the ability to permanently tame one or more animals or beasts to be your loyal pet. May be taken (3) times.
[ ] Planeswalker: If you survive in your current world for ten years, you gain the ability to choose a different World State upon your death with all of your skills and Talents intact. Any additional Talent Points gained in this world can be used to purchase additional Talents upon relocating.
[ ] Roll A d20: You have the option to roll a d20 before any action or decision to alter the outcome. Reality is paused while you roll. A natural 20 will guarantee a complete success, while a natural 1 will guarantee a critical failure. Consequences of rolling the d20 can be potentially fatal.
[ ] Muggleborn: You are able to select one magical skill from the Harry Potter series for your use. You will not be able to use magic otherwise. Potential skills include Metamorphagus, Animagus, Apparition, Natural Legilimens, Natural Occlumens, and Parseltongue.
[ ] Siren: Your voice is able to hypnotize or compel anything with ears into doing your will. The effect only persists as long as you continue speaking or singing, the moment you are silent for more than five seconds your control fails.
And suddenly I felt incredibly embarrassed.
Because I'd just had a huge freak out over nothing.
Or, well, not exactly nothing. Whatever this afterlife character creator shit was, had still chosen 'The Gamer' World State for me without my permission. And it could do it again for something else. However, assuming it didn't, with 'Planeswalker', which I was 100% taking, as long as I didn't bite it immediately I would be able to come back to the void world and pick the 'Parallel' World State after my life in the MCU. Which meant I could get the best of both worlds.
[x] Planeswalker
Okay that decided, I reviewed my other options.
Honestly they all sounded insane. The idea of having superpowers to begin with was something I could literally only ever dreamed of after all. I had to pick wisely.
'Escalation', 'Alabaster' and 'The Wolverine' were all out. As badass as they sounded and as much as they stroked that part of me that wanted to live out an OP power fantasy where I could throw hands with the Hulk and get away with it, I knew I couldn't.
They would all make finally kicking the bucket after leading out my new life way too hard to be worth it. Or at the very least incredibly painful. Not a fan. Besides, I didn't have to fight the Hulk. I just thought that being able to do so and live to boast about it would be cool.
No, it was between 'Siren', 'Man's Best Friend', 'Muggleborn', 'Roll a d20' and 'Wildcard'.
If I'm being honest, 'Siren' sounded lame as hell compared to everything else and I didn't even consider it. Sorry whoever chose these powers.
'Man's Best Friend' was way too situational. The only animal I could think of that it would be useful for was that weird cat thing, Groose, from the Captain Marvel movie. If I remembered correctly that thing had the Tesseract at one point. 'Roll a d20' was way too unreliable. If my plan was to live at least a decade then a finicky power wasn't the way to go.
That notion is also what made the idea of picking 'Wildcard' so difficult.
But all the other powers save for 'Muggleborn' - which I was totally taking - weren't my style or actively detrimental to my plans.
Eventually though, I made my choices.
[x] Muggleborn
[Choose power]
[ ] Metamorphagus
[ ] Animagus
[ ] Apparition
[X] Natural Legilimens
[ ] Natural Occlumens
[ ] Parseltongue
My nerd heart yearned to pick Apparition. The ability to teleport was something I had always dreamed of. And a quick escape would be amazing in a pinch. But ultimately Legilimency was far more versatile and worth it.
No one would be able to lie to me or hide important shit. And as long as I kept my attention up people like Black Widow and the Winter Soldier wouldn't be able to sneak up on me. Plus talking to people in their heads would be cool. And a fun way to mess with people.
Now for the risk. I was a little scared to confirm my selection. After all if I got something stupid or useless I was kinda fucked. There were way too many everyday threats in the MCU and even if I could avoid them, potential verse enders like Thanos, Gor and Kang were running around. If I was born into the time frame of Endgame then I would definitely need to get involved in stopping Thanos.
Sure in the canon verse, eventually I would just be brought back. But now that I thought about it, this world I was being born into, it definitely had to be a near canon MCU and not the real thing. Because if it was the real one then I wouldn't be alive for long until the TVA showed up. So assuming this reincarnation thing had every intention of giving me the chance to live past ten, the MCU I would be in wouldn't be the canon one.
And that meant that there was a chance it was one of the fourteen million timelines Dr. Strange saw in Infinity war where they lost… Which meant I would need to be able to step up and help take Thanos down before that happened. And if 'Wildcard' gave me something shitty….
Or maybe none of that would matter. I could be born Post Endgame and could just lay low and hope the TVA didn't come for me. The Loki show was kinda vague on how thorough they were, maybe I wouldn't be important enough to actually change the time stream? Do they only go after big threats?
….I may not have been paying that much attention when watching Loki…
Wait. Oh lord…. post Endgame meant psycho Wanda Maximoff fucking with the multiverse which was a biiiiig no, no. Fuck that I'm good.
Yeah. This was a big choice. My ability to survive kinda hinged on it. But I honestly believed this would be my best course of action to avoid copious amounts of pain and or getting one shot early on. If it fucked up… I could always give up Legilimency to roll again.
My decision was made, now all I could do was cross my non-existent fingers as I hoped for a good power.
[x] Wildcard
Once again words flashed by quickly in front of me and I could catch a few of them. I winced as 'Animal Communication' flashed by. That would have been a kick in the balls. I ignored 'Man's Best Friend' only to end up getting a slightly less shitty version of it through 'Wildcard'. Luckily that was not my fate. Hundreds of other powers zoomed by, ranging from 'Paint Manipulation' to 'Ice Immunity'. At one point I was sure I saw 'Omnipotence' zoom by and I felt more than a little irked. But then the words finally stopped and I got my choice.
[Symbiote Physiology]
Congratulations you are now a parasitic swiss army knife!
You are now an incredibly powerful organic multitool. You have a wide range of abilities including but not limited to: Weapon Creation, Technology Manipulation, Super Strength, Super Speed, Enhanced Reflexes, Camouflage, Body Possession, Enhanced Durability, Power Mimicry, and Limited Pocket Dimension Creation. But there's a catch. You need to find the perfect host to bond with to use the full extent of your abilities. Alone, you are nothing.
[ ] Accept
[ ] Reroll (1 Talent Point)
…
…
Well damn.
'Wildcard' for the fucking win! I got Venom powers? Badass!
That would make surviving so much easier. As long as I found a good host. And wasn't trapped in like a glass tube or something. And didn't get exposed to high frequencies or fire. But that would all be fairly easy to avoid. It's not like the average human has to deal with that any-....
It was mid mental ramble that I realized what having a 'Symbiote Physiology' would really mean.
Crap.
I wasn't gonna have a body. I mean I could've always re-rolled.
Hell maybe I should've. Because it dawned on me that if I got what I wanted out of 'Planeswalker' I would be reborn in that new world as a Symbiote too unless I got to create a new character again. Which would make the whole, reuniting with my family thing difficult. But what were the odds I got something so busted again? There are thousands of powers on the Superpower Wiki. And some of them were ass. Like Eel Physiology… It wasn't worth it.
No, I was gonna stick with this one. I could work with this. I would just have to work a little harder until I found a good host.
Maybe if I played my cards right I could hitch a ride with an Avenger.
[x] Accept
…
…
[Alert!]
The hell?
[Congratulations! The Combination of options you have chosen has created 2 complimentary Skills! Lucky you!]
[Complementary Skill 1] Co-Op Mode: The bond between host and Symbiote runs deep.. You can share the effects of 'The Gamer' World State with your host! Exactly what aspects they can access from it are at your discretion.
[Created via the Combination of 'The Gamer' World State and 'Symbiote Physiology' Skill.]
[Complementary Skill 2] Party Invite: You can give any previous host access to certain aspects of 'The Gamer' World State at your discretion. Given full access they will be able to utilize the Inventory System and Stat System and the Skill Tree System. They will also gain access to the Sub-Skill: Party Chat, which allows anyone you've invited to the Party to communicate. All of these options and abilities are at your discretion and Party members can be removed without issue. [Created via the Combination 'Co-Op Mode' Skill, 'Symbiote Physiology' Skill and 'Natural Legilimens' Skill.]
[ ] Accept
[ ] Decline (These Skills will be forever lost. In exchange you will gain two additional Talent Points]
…
Wildcard.
For. The. Fucking. Win!
Lucky me is certainly right! These would be such useful abilities! I had assumed that I would be getting the standard Gamer AU fanfiction kit thanks to my forced world state. And not only did the Skills confirm that I would have access to an inventory and a skill tree, I would be able to share those abilities with any friends I make. I wondered if the inventory would be shared. Being able to swap items with someone instantly sounded pretty cool to me.
What the hell was up with me stumbling into these busted ass abilities? Was this the universe apologizing for killing me with a Dorito? Or maybe the character creator apologizing for choosing 'The Gamer' without my permission? Whatever the case I was more than happy to not look a gift horse in the mouth.
[x] Accept!
The skills accepted, the text changed once again.
[Perks and Disadvantages]
You may take a maximum of <Three> Perks and <Three> Disadvantages. Each Perk costs <One> Talent Point. Disadvantages taken award an additional <One> Talent Point each.
[ ] (Perk) Linguist: You are preternaturally gifted with languages. You perceive every spoken language as your native tongue, and can learn to read and write them with very little practice. With time, you will be able to speak and comprehend inhuman languages as well.
[ ] (Perk) Incognito: The source of your Talents and powers is impossible for others to determine without you informing them outright. Mind readers cannot take the knowledge from your thoughts, truth serums cannot pull it out of you, and people will fabricate their own (false) explanations for anything unusual you do.
[ ] (Perk) Comic Book Pretty: You are always airbrushed to perfection, after battle your clothes are always only artfully torn, and any wounds you take will only leave aesthetically pleasing scars.
[ ] (Perk) Runscript: You are able to split your attention in order to run mental simulations to train your skills or Talents. Experience gained during your simulations is earned half as quickly as it would be should you train them in real life, but you can do other things simultaneously without detriment to your attention. Physical strength is not transferred to the real world from simulations, although muscle memory is.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Failed A Luck Check: You wake up in your new world under unfortunate circumstances and in a hostile environment. Nothing around you will be immediately lethal if you play your cards right, but you will in no way be considered safe.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Regression: You wake up as a small child, but with access to your adult mind and emotions. You will have to age naturally, and any Talents or powers you possess will begin at weakened levels to compensate.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Headhunted: Every shadowy organization in the world wants a piece of you for one reason or another. They will never stop hunting you. Other organizations will only stop their pursuit if you are captured by one of them, or become powerful enough to be untouchable.
[ ] (Disadvantage) Like a Duckling: You imprint on the first person of authority you encounter in your new world. You are compelled to obey them, but can resist their orders with effort. You are not compelled to remain around them, and will not be compelled to obey any orders you are not present to witness.
With the Perks, 'Comic Book Pretty' was out immediately. I didn't even have a body….. which I just then realized meant my dysphoric problems weren't exactly solved. How was it that I managed to get what I always wanted and immediately found a way to lose it? At least I thought so. I was pretty sure Symbiotes are genderless.
Well guess that just meant I had to make sure my host was a woman.
That left 'Linguist', 'Incognito' and 'Runscript'. All of them sounded great. 'Linguist' would not only be useful for me but my host too. I was sure the notion of a free universal translator would earn me some brown points with whomever they turned out to be. And so would 'Runscript'. Those two were definitely on the list.
[x] Runscript
[x] Linguist
And 'Incognito' gave me an idea concerning the disadvantages.
[x] Incognito
[x] Headhunted
'Headhunted' was clearly the second worst disadvantage after 'Like a Duckling'. Honestly 'Like a Duckling' was fucked. I refused to be beholden to anyone, even if just a little. Plus if I got stuck with the wrong person then I would be boned. And I'm sure being a Symbiote would only exacerbate the effects. I remembered just how obsessed Venom became with Peter Parker in the comics. No thank you.
However, since I was going to be a Symbiote, hunting me down would be a bitch and a half as long as I could discreetly find a host. And with 'Incognito' once I found said host I could share the Perk using Co-Op Mode and then no one would be able to determine how she could do what she could. If it worked the way I hoped it would, they'd still know I existed, but I could practically go full Venom mode and they still wouldn't know it was me!
Loopholes for the fucking win!
And I didn't just have one for 'Headhunted'.
'Regression' meant nothing to me. A baby Symbiote with no host was just about as dangerous as an adult Symbiote with no host. Another loophole that I could use thanks to my 'Symbiote Physiology'.
My only worry was that taking 'Failed A Luck Check' would land me in a lab somewhere. That would be pretty much the worst place for me to end up other than a burning building. Although if it was a shady bad guy kinda lab then I would at the very least be safe from any other shady fucks that would come after me cause of 'Headhunted'. Still not ideal though.
But that was a risk I was willing to bet my new powers on. Honestly I could just hijack the first poor sap I ran into to dodge all of my disadvantages. And then use them find my real host.
This way I got the most bang for my metaphorical buck.
[x] Regression
[x] Failed A Luck Check
With that all of my choices were compiled in front of me. I gave them the once over and was content.
[Finalize]
[ ] Yes
[ ] No
I stopped. I knew what was going to happen if I hit yes.
Either I was going to wake up and my friends were gonna make fun of me for thinking I had died.
Or I was going to start my new life. And potentially gonna have to kick a whole lotta ass to get home…
…
[x] Yes
[Character Creation Complete]
[Starting New Game+]
The void suddenly shifted and I was falling.
Here we go.