“Miss Maximoff?” Vision knocked on the frame of Wanda’s opened door in order to draw attention to himself.
She was startled from her thoughts not expecting any visitors that evening, “Please Vision, I’ve told you before. Just Wanda is fine. What did you want?"
“Well I do hope I am not intruding.”
“No not at all,” she smiled back weakly.
“It has come to my attention recently that you do not engage in life around the tower as much as the rest of the team.”
“Oh?”
He’d been paying attention to say the least but Wanda chalked it down to his inhuman brain and what likely gave him accelerated observational skills.
The synthezoid continued, “I realise that I am equally as new to the concept of working within a group of other individuals however, I believe you would benefit greatly from socialising more often.”
She let out a dry laugh, “I don’t have any interest in spending time with them. I don’t have an interest in doing anything at all.”
She muttered the last part hoping he wouldn’t catch it.
“May I ask why that is?” Vision questioned with genuine curiosity.
He seemed to lack the same social cues that the human members of the team had. Normally this was the point in a conversation where someone would decide she wasn’t worth talking to and leave.
“I uh- I don’t think you would understand.”
“If you are comfortable explaining,” he pushed, “I am always looking to deepen my understanding of the human emotional spectrum.”
Wanda weighed up her options. She could continue to ignore his questions and explain this wasn’t something she wanted to talk about and no doubt he’d leave her alone just like she wanted or she could actually explain to him and maybe even hold a conversation free of judgement. He wasn’t like the others, maybe it was worth a try?
She patted the side of the bed next to her, indicating for him to sit down. Could he even get tired standing up? Regardless, he took a seat and waited patiently.
“I uh- I don’t want to be here anymore,” she started, her accent coming through slightly thicker with her lack of confidence.
“You wish to leave the tower?”
“Yes well not just the tower, earth.”
Vision was confused by Wanda’s reasoning but could tell the topic was weighing hard on her, “Forgive me for misunderstanding, I assume that space travel is not what you’re referring to here.”
“No it’s not,” she seemed to hesitate, “I mean that I don’t want to be alive anymore, Vision.”
The synthezoid seemed to take a minute to ponder over her words.
“You wish to die?”
She merely nodded her head and failed to conceal the shame she felt. This was stupid. Why was she admitting this to a robot of all people?
“Why do you wish to die?”
She let out a small chuckle at the irony of the question, “Where do I start?”
Instantly she begun listing things and counting them off on her fingers, one depressing reason after the other.
“My parents got blown up by a bomb, I spent 5 years in a Nazi experimental facility, I had to physically feel the life fading from my twin brother’s body when he got shot, my home country has been reduced to rubble and to top it off I am now living in the home of the man who indirectly killed my parents. I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve never had to experience the world in this way and I just feel so alone.”
There was a short silence as Vision waited for Wanda to finish her explanation.
“I feel as though I’ve already lived and died a hundred times. One final time in order to feel at peace seems like nothing in comparison,” she finished by drawing in a breath.
“You’re in pain.” It wasn’t a question from him this time, more of a statement.
Despite his supposed lack of emotions, surprisingly he’d already seemed to grasp the understanding that pain wasn’t always physical.
“In the presence of Ultron, I made mistakes. I made a lot before that as well,” Wanda explained, “I don’t know if this is what I want the rest of my life to be.”
“Well from my understanding, you believed that Ultron was genuinely attempting to do good. When you realised otherwise, you didn’t hesitate to aid in stopping him. You were trying to do the right thing.”
“But doesn’t that makes it worse? I tried to do something good and it still ended in death. I’ve been asking myself if the world would be better off if I stopped trying or, even better, stopped existing.”
Wanda tried her best to settle her breathing, she was getting too overworked with emotions after not having felt this much in a while.
Upon noticing her distress, Vision courteously waited again for a short while before continuing, “Your line of questioning is very counterproductive. Are people always so critical of their own mistakes?”
“Yeah, it’s one of those stubborn human traits I’m afraid.“
They both shared a smile, Wanda’s first near genuine one in a while.
“I am unfortunately not the most empathetic being due to my limited knowledge in how the human emotions work. My only suggestion is that you attempt to confide in another human member of the team. I do believe that Mr Wilson is a licensed therapist. Perhaps a conversation with him may help?”
“No, I don’t know,” she hesitated, “I don’t think that’s the best idea.”
“Maybe Miss Romanoff then? During your few interactions with her you have appeared much more relaxed.”
“I’ll think about it.” Wanda felt a little bad, not that she'd asked him to but he was attempting to help solve her problems and she was merely brushing his suggestions off.
Though there must have been a slight understanding that being stubborn was another common human trait, “Will you be ok?”
“For now, thank you Vision.”
He finally stood up and bowed his head in reply. He could tell she meant it. Her eyes were slightly glossy but they were brighter than when he walked in earlier. She was still sad but felt less alone.
“Thank you for sharing with me,” he turned to leave through the way he came in.
“Oh and Vision,” she called out, “I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone about our conversation. Not everyone acts in the same way as you about these sorts of confessions.”
“Of course.”
Almost as a final thought, he paused at the doorway before he left.
“You are an appreciated presence here. I’m sure many people would miss you, Wanda.”
When he’d left and the door had clicked shut, she allowed the corner of her mouth to twitch up into a slight smile. He was odd and predictable but maybe that was a good thing in her world full of change.