“Do you ever regret it?” Bucky asks casually one warm summer night, as they sit in the backyard of Sarah’s house. Sarah and the kids have been asleep for hours now, while Sam and Bucky are just enjoying each other’s company.
“Regret what?” Sam turns his head to look at Bucky. His gaze is on the night sky, though.
“Just, the whole thing.” he gestures vaguely. “Helping Steve, joining the Avengers- meeting me.” the last part he whispers barely audibly. “Or- or becoming partners.” he says then, glancing at Sam, as if that last thing is the one he’s actually asking about.
“Where the hell did that come from?” Sam is so surprised he sits up straight and raises his eyebrows. “Of course I don’t.”
“Not a single thing?”Â
“Bucky, what’s going on?” Sam’s getting worried now, because that’s a random topic for a very nice evening they’re spending together. They’ve been in Louisiana for a few days now, just enjoying some time off, but they haven’t gotten a lot of one-on-one time yet. And Sam really enjoys just being with Bucky all the time. Plus, he’s been looking for an opportunity to ask him out, but never finds a good time. Now is not it, either. “Do you regret us working together?”
“No.” Bucky immediately answers, which is great to hear, but Sam is just so confused.
“Then why are you asking?”
“I just-” he sighs, looking away. “I was reading some things online-”
“Buck.” Sam immediately interrupts. He knows what people say. About him and about Bucky, and about them working together now. Captain America with the Winter Soldier? Yeah, some people don’t have great opinions, because they don’t believe the Soldier is gone, or that Bucky was brainwashed. He got the pardon and he saves people all the time with Sam, but people still say… a lot of things Sam doesn’t want to know about. “Why would you go online and read about us?”
“It just popped up, I don’t know.” he shrugs. “I guess I’m just- worried that me working with you is just not good for you as Cap right now. And it’s not like you have to do it, if it’s only because of Steve-”
“Bucky, you’re being ridiculous right now.” Sam rolls his eyes, then takes Bucky’s hand, which causes Bucky to look at him with wide eyes. “Listen to me carefully, okay?” Sam takes a deep breath, because he has the opportunity to not only assure him that working with Bucky is what he wants, but also to finally say what he’s been wanting to for months now. “I chose you, okay? I chose you. We met because of Steve, yeah, but that’s it. I chose to get to know you, and be your friend, and work with you, and I’ll keep choosing you over everything else. I can even give up the shield if that’s what having you would cost.” he says with determination, meaning every word. He’d give up everything in a heartbeat if it meant he’d get to keep Bucky in his life.
“You don’t mean that.” Bucky whispers.
“I very much do. What you mean to me-” as he looks into Bucky’s eyes, he can’t even find words, despite practicing a whole little speech for months. He’s not really nervous, he knows how Bucky feels – or, he suspects. They’ve been dancing around this thing for way too long now. “You’re more important than almost anything, Buck. You’re more than a friend or a work partner. You’re family. So don’t ever doubt that I want you here, okay? I don’t regret anything and I won’t.” he intertwines their fingers, while Bucky still looks shocked. “I love you.” Sam says simply, immediately feeling relief as the words come out. “I love you and I choose to love you, and I’ll forever do that.”
“Sam.” Bucky just says, as different emotions flutter through his face – disbelief, relief, hope, fear – until he lands on a soft smile. “I love you.” he whispers, and Sam grins. “And I choose you, too.”
“Good. And now I’m gonna choose to kiss you if that’s okay.” he adds teasingly, and Bucky chuckles.
“It’s very much okay.” is what he says before Sam finally closes the distance and links their lips.
After months of gathering his courage to do that, kissing Bucky now, he feels so relieved and light, he feels like he’s floating in the air. He can’t stop smiling into the kiss, and he feels Bucky smiling, too. This is not where he saw that conversation going, but he’s beyond happy it happened.