In the Sanctum's library, Stephen was seated at his desk. Y/N and Wong were both engaged in God knows what at Kamar-Taj, most likely just some paperwork. The only other person in the Sanctum besides him was America who was probably still asleep.
He makes an effort to clear his thoughts by reading. Although he has a photographic memory, the book doesn't really help much because he keeps reading the same paragraph without truly understanding what is being said.
He had better days..even weeks. The same cannot be said for this one. Even though he is no longer totally human, he slept less than what would be considered normal even for him and had hardly been able to consume a single meal. Stephen just wishes he wasn’t like this.
He’s disgusting.
The sorcerer doesn’t feel well..he hears those voices again and Stephen can’t ignore them. He stands up abruptly and tries to regain his balance by holding onto the desk in front of him, without much success. He just managed to make the stack of books fall to the ground.
He feels it.
The doctor cried out as his human body started to fall apart. His fingers on his left hand began to tremble and morph into tentacles. His wings sprouted from his shoulders and slammed into a bookshelf. Then he experienced his vertebrae horrifyingly fracturing into something before developing into a tail. He wanted to puke, even he was repulsed by himself.
He turned away as soon as he noticed his reflection in the library window. His body changed into something unidentifiable as his bones continued to crackle. It didn’t always hurt when he shifted because sometimes he let it come naturally. Butnotthistime. Not with America in the Sanctum.
He wasn’t himself anymore. Stephen Strange, a well-known neurosurgeon, was no longer him, nor was the mysterious Doctor Strange. He had turned into something horrible. One's worst nightmare as a kid. Or maybe it was his own?
He wailed once more as the voices screamed at him. Stephen was unable to maintain his balance & the side of his face hit the ground below him. His body had stopped responding to him, and his brain was throbbing. The shouts carried on unabated. They referred to him as a monster and a freak, but he had no idea who or what he was anymore.
He was something, somethingnew and it terrified him to no end.
He thought about Y/N. Stephen is well aware that you’re scared of him and yet you chose to stay with him. That needs to mean something, right? After almost two years, he still vividly recalls the terror that appeared on your face when you first saw him in this form. He simply wishes there was another way he could have saved you.
Does he regret he became whatever this thing is? Yes. Would he do it again just to save you? Also yes.
One of the voices then addresses him. ‘Nobody has yet figured out a way how to kill you, although everyone would prefer you dead.’
“No.. no, no, shut up, shut up, SHUTUP!” he cried, clutching his head with claws and tentacles. He slammed his head into the ground, desperately trying to shut them up, but they were persistent.
‘You don’t deserve any pity. You’ve done this to yourself.’
“Please, please, shut up.” Stephen whispered “p—please.”
“Stephen?” America asked and all the voices from his head went silent.
That’s when he started to panic. She had tears in her eyes when he turned to look at her. She was still in her pijamas with ruffled hair indicating that she just woke up and the cloak of levitation was on her shoulders.
He didn’t hear when she entered the room and all rational thoughts left him. He just melts into the shadows in the room. He doesn’t want America to see him like this, not again.
“Steph..?” she looks around the room and can’t make out where he’s hiding so she tries again.
“Dad?” her voice broke and she finally catches a glimpse of the sorcerer throught the dust in the air. He’s looking at her, she can tell that much.
She’s not scared of him, she’s scared for him. “Can..can you come out please?”
She can see the shadows in the room moving towards her. After giving it some thought, Stephen would rather have her leave the room so he can attempt to transform back into his human form without her having to see him in this state. However, against his better judgment, he comes out slowly.
His face had so many eyes, but the ones she focused on were the ones that were looking at her with infinite sadness. He sinks to his knees, leaving enough distance between them. Even sitting he towered over her. America came closer to him and smiled awkardly to him “Hi.” Then Stephen tucked his wings closer to hide is face.
He smiled a little “Hi.” She could see how scared the all powerful sorcerer was. “You know, other people would flee out the room because of how I look.”
She smiles and leaps towards him without any reservations. “Good thing I’m not like other people then.” she could see some wet streaks down his cheeks.
Even though he hardly feels America's full-force hug hit him, he still lets out a small remark "Take it easy, star." Stephen chuckles slightly.
After staring at her for a moment, he pulls her closer with a gentleness that was almost heartbreaking before he wraps his own arms and wings around her careful to not her hurt and returns the hug.
"Are you alright?" America softly asks
After pausing for a bit, Stephen responds, "Could be better."
“Do you want to talk about it?” She turns to face him.
He responds, "No, not really," feeling himself gradually regaining control.
She still has the cloak of levitation on her shoulders, and she can feel it reaching out to embrace Stephen as well.
—
After some minutes he returns to his human form, but America never left his side. Her face is buried against his shoulder as he slowly rocks them in place.
They stay like that for a little while until Stephen breaks the silence with a quiet “Thankyou”.