Tommy is scared...
Tommy is trying not to be scared.
And then... there's nothing.
There are no voices in his head.
There's no mom, there's no dad.
There's no Tommy...
There's no Tommy!
There's no Tommy and he is scared.
He doesn't want to fade away!
He doesn't want to fade away!
And suddenly...
Everything is BLUE!
*
Everything is blue and there are people everywhere.
Everything is blue and there are people whispering.
where did he come form?!
he appeared out of nowhere!
how old is he?!
Call...
But mom and dad are not there.
And there's no Tommy anywhere...
"I'm sorry darling, there was no one else."
There's no Tommy anywhere, but he hopes he is ok.
He hopes and wishes he is somewhere out there...
*
*
There's no red, and there's no blue.
But sometimes there are voices he can barely hear, and sometimes they are so loud he can't even think.
No DNA matches...
No fingerprints recorded...
No dental records...
No missing children...
... like he didn't exist...
*
*
*
Then, there's white and weird smells.
There are more people and machines.
There are needles and there are tests.
There are questions.
There are so many questions.
"Who's your mother?"
"Who's your father?"
And though the voices might be faint... at least they are still there.
... one of those freaks?
...dangerous...
...lock up...
...just a kid!
There's still no Tommy, but maybe that's ok.
There's no Tommy but he hopes and wishes... he's somewhere else...
*
*
*
After white, there's brown, green, pink, and gray.
Never blue, never red.
There are many other children, but there's no Tommy yet.
But the voices..., the voices never fade away.
Sometimes they are louder, and sometimes they are vague.
And sometimes, there are also pictures in his head...
//Children crying and a woman lying on the floor.//
//Yelling and so much blood.//
//Flowers on the ground and so much black.//
//A man and a woman against a sofa, bottles scattered everywhere around.//
... so quiet...
... says weird things...
... kids scared...
... very sweet...
... asks... brother... none...
'The Kaplans have decided to adopt you.'
*
*
*
*
For a while, there are rich browns, warmth, and caring arms.
There are 2 upset little children but that's alright, their voices are not bad.
School is gray and kind of a challenge, with many more children, many of them upset.
Some of them get scared and pick on him..., it's mostly ok, he tells not-mom.
It's ok, 'cause there are sparkles of blue every time, and he can almost see Tommy sometimes.
Everything it's ok until it's not!
Until there's pain and there's blood.. red blood.
And suddenly he can see Tommy on the floor!
//Tommy on the floor, with so much red and so much hurt.//
//Tommy crying on the floor, so alone...//
... freak...
... disappointment...
...throw you out....
There's a fist on his face, and Tommy fades away.
Tommy fades away...
Tommy fades away...
There might be pain. He doesn't know.
There might be pain, but he doesn't care 'cause...
'Cause now, there's only blue.
There's only blue and everything fades away.
There's only blue and he knows Tommy is in pain.
There's only blue and he remembers red.
He remembers reality fading away.
He remembers being scared.
He remembers wishing... wishing...
*
*
*
*
*
The world is full of colors now.
There are rich greens, yellows, pinks, and browns.
He's still scared and there's no Tommy holding his hand.
But that's ok, 'cause he can almost see him now, safe and warm in not-mom's arms.
There's still no red, and he feels... relieved?
There's no red, and that's ok.
'Cause now there's blue within his reach.
Now there's blue and all those voices...
All those voices that never fade away.
That never really left...