A Spider on the Roof
Spiderman is on the roof. He’s been there for three hours, pacing and muttering to himself, trying to get the courage to knock on the hatch.
Karen and Foggy are sleeping, the pair of them snuggled in each other’s arms. Matt is sitting up in bed, reading a braille book Clint brought around for him earlier. He’s been visiting often, dropping gifts and food and baby books in the four weeks since Matt left the Tower.
Matt’s got his cast taken off yesterday by Bruce, so he’s able to move more freely now. While he was at the Tower, Matt met briefly with Tony Stark to discuss Daredevil’s enrolment in the Avengers. He’d been announced to be joining them over a month ago, and Tony was trying to convince Matt to do a press conference about it, especially since the media was getting angsty from not seeing Daredevil lately.
Matt had agreed to the press conference, but only if the other Avengers were there also. It would put less emphasis on him. Luckily Tony had agreed, and so Matt was scheduled to be on live TV the following Saturday. Matt didn’t particularly want to be on screen, but he understood the media engagements the Avengers had, and was thankful the group still wanted him despite his current incapacitation.
A knock on the roof hatch distracts Matt from his thoughts, and he sighs in relief and climbs gingerly out of bed. He grabs Foggy’s hoodie and throws it over himself, happy to be enveloped by his partner’s scent, and heads towards the hatch.
Once on the roof, he finds Spiderman sitting on the ground, his legs crossed. Matt sits down next to him.
“Why have you been on my roof for three hours, Peter?” Matt asks the younger man.
His heart is beating fast. He’s nervous about something.
“Um, I’ve been wanting to speak to you for some time, Mr Murdock, and I was just trying to find the courage to do it.” His voice cracks slightly, betraying his nervousness, and Matt can hear him shifting on the spot. “I am really, really sorry about Tony telling the Avengers about you.”
Matt frowns at the boy, and before he can speak, Peter continues, “He had no right to tell everyone that you’re pregnant! No one had any idea you were trans, and he just went and outed you in front of all the Avengers.”
Matt reaches out and puts his hand on Peter’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “Peter, it’s okay. A lot worse things have happened to me over the last few months than being outed. Plus, Tony just did what he thought was best for the team.”
He can hear wetness in Peter’s voice, “It still wasn’t right. He could have waited until you were there.”
Matt sighs, “He could have, but they wanted to make a decision on my appointment at that moment, and I was injured. It sucks, Peter, but there was nothing malicious about it.”
Peter sits there and thinks. His heart rate is still high, which concerns Matt slightly, but he can still sense the boy is jittery about something.
“Mr Murdock, can I tell ask you something?” Peter asks, his voice quiet.
There’s a siren in the distance, and Matt has to pull himself away from the sounds of the city to focus on the gentle voice of the boy beside him. He’s worried Peter is going to ask personal questions, which most people do when they find out your trans such as what genitals he has, or if he’s had all the surgeries. Peter doesn’t seem like a bad kid, though, and so after a moment, Matt responds, “Yeah, sure.”
“Do you think you’ll ever come out as trans publicly? I mean, as Daredevil?”
Matt wasn’t expecting this question. “Um, I hadn’t really thought about it. As long as my identity remains a secret, I would never consider coming out as Daredevil, just in case someone managed to trace him back to me. It’s the same way I would never announce that Daredevil is blind – it’d be too easy to track down Matt Murdock. If I wasn’t pregnant, and I could continue being stealth as Matt Murdock, then maybe I would have, but right now I think it’s too risky.”
Peter nods at this. “I’m out at school now. I have been for three years. The other kids still tease me, call me Penis Parker cause it’s so funny that I don’t have one, but I was really wanting to come out as Spiderman. I thought I could be a good role model for the trans community.”
Matt didn’t know Peter was trans. It explains his passion about Matt being outed.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Peter,” Matt says to him, because he genuinely cannot tell the younger man what to do with his life. “If you want Spiderman to be out, then let him be out. For me, right now, it’s too dangerous, but it’s never a bad thing to be yourself.”
Peter pulls Matt into a hug. “Thanks for the advice, Mr Murdock. I tried talking to Tony about it, but he doesn’t really get everything. I suppose I’m lucky though, cause he’s going to get me on T and he’s gotten me all these cool things to try and help me pass, but I can’t help but think he’s just throwing money at me, whereas sometimes I just need to have a conversation with someone who understands what I’m going through.”
Matt chuckles at this, “I can’t imagine Tony Stark is the best person to discuss hormones and puberty with.”
Peter laughs, and Matt is glad to hear genuine joy in his voice. “It’s so awkward, Mr Murdock! And don’t get me started on asking him to buy tampons.”
Matt smiles at the idea of Tony Stark buying tampons at the store. He shakes his head a little before climbing to his feet. He reaches over and helps Peter stand up.
“If you ever need to speak to me about anything, let me know,” he says to the younger boy.
“I will, Mr Murdock! I’m really glad I’ve got someone to talk to about this stuff.”
Matt nods at him before climbing back down into his apartment. He pauses before closing the hatch, and then decides to call out, “I’m glad I can talk to you too, Peter.”