Chapter 8
The ringing of a horn over the loudspeakers snapped her out of her single-minded focus on the man in front of her, and for a moment, she had to blink to remember where she was. Blood was rushing in her ears, and she felt lightheaded at the sudden stop after such a long flurry of movement. One of the young men of the merchant tribe hurried into the room and announced a draw before racing back out of the arena like a man possessed. Taking a quick glance around, she could understand why. There were craters, cracks, and gouges over many of the walls and floors of the room, and she felt a twinge of guilt at having broken the brand-new training facility.
No more sparring indoors for us, she thought to herself. His eyes found hers and she froze, feeling the tension of the past hour jump to attack him again, but she reminded herself that the match was over, and she needed to calm down. She forced herself to ease up, and wearily returned the grin he was flashing at her. He was panting, his whole body flexing with the motion, and a concoction of thoughts and feelings battled for control in her head.
The whole match, she’d been fighting off Erik’s snarling words and vicious anger while trying to stay focused on the intense fight in front of her. It was tiring, and every muscle in her body felt used and abused. She wanted nothing more than to lay down, but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her so out of it after one match with him. She was annoyed, she’d beaten him for Bast’s sake! But he hadn’t yielded and then he kept smiling at her with so much sincerity and- and joy in his eyes that it kept throwing her off guard and allowing him to land more hits on her. It was a draw. I held him to a draw while he was at full strength and not dehydrated. Considering that her life had been spent honing her mind and not her body, she allowed herself a certain amount of pride at that fact.
The medical team rushed into the room and surrounded her with the fervor of an angry mob. They poked and prodded and spoke loudly right in her ear. Any energy in her body was fading fast and in its place was pain. A piercing headache took over her head, and her muscles could barely hold her up anymore. Worst of all, she could feel an episode coming on and knew there was nothing she could do to stop it from happening. Please not now, she begged. But whoever she was asking for help didn’t listen and only made the sensations worse. She focused her eyes on one crack in the stone floor and tried to delay the inevitable as the medics wrapped up and began leaving. She wanted to curl into a ball. But he was still here; she couldn’t do that.
The swarm of people left the room, and she could hear every crunch of every grain of dirt underneath Namor’s foot as he walked towards her. The spot on the floor was getting harder and harder to stay focused on when the light from the first stars peeking out above felt enough to blind her. His mouth opened, and she could hear the blood in his veins shifting as he moved and it was too much, way too much, I feel like I’m dying. The buzzing in her veins had not gone away since he had entered the arena before the general’s match, and now it was at a fever pitch and warring with every other feeling her poor body was being subjected to.
Trying to stop him before his voice could actually rupture her eardrums, she held up a weak finger and tried to speak. She squeezed her eyes shut, but even that hurt, and tried her best to form words to push out of her mouth. What came out instead was a whisper that bordered on whimpering and had her cheeks flushing with embarrassment that she didn’t have time to deal with. “Just… can it just be quiet for a moment?” The air scraped across her face like rough bark as he nodded his head in front of her and she bit down on her tongue to avoid screaming at the feeling.
What the hell is this? I ate my stupid fish! Why does it hurt so badly? She could barely form the indignant thoughts, because even the effort of thinking was almost too much to bear. Her breathing slowed and she tried to only focus on one of her senses, but it was hard to pick out the worst feeling when they were all screaming at once. She could feel herself swaying and knew she would fall or black out soon if she didn’t get this damn episode under control. The body in front of her radiated a comforting heat, and the energy left in her seemed to be leaning towards him, too.
Without giving herself time to think of what she was doing, she let herself fall lightly into his chest. She braced for the pain in her skin to double or explode, but instead found a balming hum where her skin met his. Nearly crying in relief, she focused all of her attention on the point where her head met his collarbones. The strong but gentle beating of his heart filled her ears, and the warm skin at her forehead soothed the pain wrought by the scraping air. Quicker than the last time, her senses of touch and sound calmed down and she could finally breathe again. Her head and muscles still ached, but the blinding pain of her senses in overdrive had dulled.
Now, she just had to focus on reigning in the remaining three. Her lips parted to taste the air and she breathed deeply to find a scent to focus on. What she found was, unsurprisingly, the taste and smell of the ocean. Wrinkling her nose, she focused until both had calmed down enough that only her eyes still felt pain. That, I can deal with. It was no different than when she’d spent too long staring at her screens on hard days in the lab. She swallowed briefly and asked Griot for the duration of this episode. Her voice felt scratchy, and she tried not to speak too loudly.
“Twelve minutes, Princess.” Came the reply. Twelve? They’re getting shorter still. Thank Bast. “Mineral levels dangerously low.” Damnit. She still wasn’t eating enough? But she’d had two whole meals today! And Griot told the chefs exactly how much to cook to keep her sustained. Sighing, she realized she hadn’t accounted for the excess consumption caused by an hour of fighting.
“Stupid fish and seaweed,” she grumbled. She felt the man in front of her stir, reminding her that she was still leaning on him, and she fought to keep the flush out of her face. His hands came up and lightly grabbed her shoulders, almost timid in their movements. His throat cleared above her, and he spoke in the softest voice she’d ever heard him use.
“Princess, are you hurt? Did I injure you?” He’s asking like he’s worried. Though, she supposed that if she saw him randomly go radio silent for twelve minutes after a fight, she’d be worried too. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she opened her eyes and tried not to wince as she leaned back and away from him. She shook her head at him, telling him about the one thing she had yet to mention to anyone else.
“No, it is merely the side effects of the herb I took to defeat you. It is nothing, I just need to eat.” A frown pulled at his lips, and he released her shoulders once she was standing on her own again. His eyes were widened just a fraction more than usual, and she realized that he wasn’t guarding his expression at that moment. I’ve seen that look before. It was the same one Nakia and Riri had worn when she’d come back from the ancestral plane, looking at her like they thought she was going to drop dead any second.
Rushing to stop him from whatever strange path his thoughts were taking, she spoke in a rush. “I am alright, Namor. You did not hurt me. I would have taken the herb sooner or later, I just happened to complete it after you…” her voice trailed off. Mama. Pain threatened to well up again, but she forced it back. What’s done is done. Shaking her head, she pulled herself up from that whirlpool of thoughts and spoke again.
“It does not matter. Thank you, for uh-” Letting me lean against you for twelve minutes? Not asking more questions? Lowering your voice and grabbing me as lightly as a feather as though you knew anything else would cause me pain? A flush took her features again and she cursed her awkwardness. She continued, trying to pretend she wasn’t extremely embarrassed, “for standing here with me while I recovered. I appreciate it.” Her throat felt like there was something scratching it and she tried to clear it as discreetly as she could. She couldn’t look him in the eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that they could just move on and pretend this hadn’t happened.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his hand raise toward her face and she tensed. Is he going to grab my face? But no, instead he dropped the hand turned towards the door. The god in front of her seemed to be answering her prayers. He spoke nonchalantly, as though he was observing the weather. “You said you needed food, yes? We should head to the feast the king is hosting. You can get your food there.” Chancing a look back to his face, his expression was stoic and held a hint of softness to it, acknowledging the weakness she’d shown him while not making a point of it, either.
Gratitude filled her heart, and she cleared her throat to ensure her voice would come out clear and strong, as his did. “Uh, yes. Yes, we should start heading that way before guards come running. Follow me, I hope you like fruit.” She was sure that M’Baku was going to have an almost exclusively vegetarian meal prepared, and he seemed to currently be fixated on papayas and pears, if his breakfast plate was anything to go off of.
Namor gave a curt nod and walked to the edge of the room to gather his things. She tried not to watch him put his armor back on; she really didn’t know how she was supposed to hold herself or act around the man anymore. Standing at the door, she waited until he’d slipped the golden neckpiece over his head to begin walking. He caught up to her in a few strides and they walked along the path that led to the palace. The stars were out in full now, and she found herself looking up at them. No heroes staring down at me. Except maybe Carol Danvers. She didn’t know where the glowing woman was these days, but Okoye mentioned something about saving a system on the other side of the Milky Way.
His voice, firm as ever, snapped her out of her thoughts again, and she looked over to him as he spoke. “You stare at the stars the way my people stare at our sun.” His hands were behind his back, but his eyes were reaching out to her. “I believe the word in English is ‘wistful’. As though it brings you joy, but also reminds you of something sorrowful, something you cannot have.” She blinked at his bluntness but found that he wasn’t wrong. Her eyes looked above them, and she found that was exactly the feeling that filled her as she stared.
“I loved the stars as a child. We have stories of warriors written in them, and I was so eager to learn more about them when I found that they were more than just lights in the sky. They were stories and tradition, but they were also science personified.” Her thoughts drifted to the battlefields that still haunted her from time to time in her dreams. “And then creatures from other worlds started coming here. Gods and monsters came down to Earth and I fought them alongside my brother and many others. The stars became real, not just topics to be studied. They were threats, reminders of my place in life.” She could remember the weeks of funerals she’d attended with T’Challa. All of the warriors that had died the day they’d fought Thanos and his army in America.
So much death. Her eyes flitted among the points of light, unsure. The god beside her stopped moving and she spun around to face him. His gaze was turned to the sky, the gleaming lights reflecting on the dark surface of his eyes. He did not look back to her as he spoke. “I feel much the same way about the surface. As a boy, my mother spoke of her home with such reverence that I thought it must be this beautiful landscape full of hope and majesty. A place where the gods waged war and created life just like in the stories. Then I buried her among the ashes of her people’s nation and saw the surface for what it really was. With time, surface-dwellers came closer and closer to Talokan, and all I felt when I looked to the surface was fear and anger for my people.”
A quiet fell between them and she found herself stepping closer to him to look up from his perspective. They stood there, staring at the starry skies above them in silence. Peace settled within her for the first time in a long while, and she basked in it. For once, she didn’t feel like she had to be anything. She didn’t have to be anyone. She just was. A hatred tried weakly to fill her at enjoying this moment with the man that took her mother, but a voice that sounded suspiciously like the former queen seemed to take over. Peace is sacred, Shuri. Enjoy it when it graces you. She pulled her eyes and her thoughts down from the heavens to look at him, and found he was already looking at her.
One hand pulled from behind his back and gestured at the path before them. “I imagine the gorilla man will be upset if we do not at least show up to his feast.” It was a way out, and she thanked him for it. The rest of their walk was in a comfortable quiet, enjoying the peace Wakanda had to offer. As the palace came into view, she was reminded that he would be leaving in the morning. Bast, I left the kimoyo beads in my lab. She’d made them extra waterproof so that he could contact her directly if something urgent needed to be discussed, but she’d forgotten to grab them in her haste earlier.
“Ah, Namor, wait a moment.” His feet stopped moving immediately and he turned to her with a raised brow. The calm atmosphere that had enveloped them on their walk dissipated in the warm night air. She cleared her throat and tried not to cringe at her ineloquence. “Can you join me in my lab after the feast? I have something that I made for you there.” Bast, why did I have to make it sound so weird? Mercifully, Namor didn’t seem to notice her mental fumbling, and simply nodded his head.
“Of course, princess. I have the time.” She sighed in relief and wondered how the hell he managed to just brush things off like they were nothing all the time. They continued walking and suddenly she had a thought. Why have there been no guards? Tuning her ears in to her surroundings, she heard the pitter-patter of near-silent footsteps on either side of the buildings framing the street. She’d been so focused on Namor that she’d forgotten other people existed for a minute. Great, now they’re going to gossip about us meandering and talking about stars. The Dora were never subtle in their gossip, and she tried not to groan at what rumors were already spreading about them.
“Brace yourself, these feasts always bring out the most unpleasant parts of my people.” She told him, only half joking. He looked at her with a wry grin.
“Ah, so your people are like that too? My Councilmen tend to speak very openly when spirits are around.” She huffed a laugh and nodded. Still, she didn’t want lips to get too loose around the table, for all of their sakes. Bast, please don’t let them say anything too embarrassing about me in front of the Talokanil.
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The feast went…okay. About as well as could be expected, honestly. When they’d arrived, there was some joking about them killing each other, with a few of the Dora standing around the room snickering to themselves. But the food was good, the talk was good, and thankfully none of the Elders that had known her since birth had made any particularly embarrassing comments. Now the tables were filled with chatter and laughter as the last of the desserts were taken away.
Because of her lengthy walk with Namor, she’d missed the period where she could give the palace cooks special requests for food, so now she tried to discreetly send a message to have them bring sushi to her lab once more. She felt better now that she’d eaten, but Griot’s readings told her that another episode was imminent if she didn’t get her levels up again. She’d never looked into dietary science before, but now the subject was looking more and more appealing with every bite of fish that she had to stomach. The seaweed was honestly the easier part to deal with, being light and crispy and full of flavor. But there had to be something she could develop that could be eaten once a day or something to avoid the seafood problem.
M’Baku’s staff pounded the ground once, and the Dora responded with a strike of their spears. Her attention, as well as everyone else’s, was drawn to the great gorilla where he sat in the middle of the room. “Good, you are all listening. I’m sure you’ve enjoyed the food, and the ancestors should be proud of how much we’ve drank tonight, but I am tired and need rest. Out, all of you. And good night.” Shuffled sounds began echoing around the room within seconds of his words being spoken and she found herself shaking hands with many of the representatives of the Golden Tribe as they made their leave.
The buzzing had not left her body all day and she really wished the adrenaline or whatever it was would calm down already. It was hard enough to focus on formalities with everything else on her mind, she didn’t need her veins to feel like they were racing with energy all the time. Is it another side effect of the herb? Smiling politely at the young man in front of her, she reached out to shake his hand. I feel like I know him from somewhere. He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to himself as he shook it, speaking awfully close to her ear.
“It’s good to see you’re doing well, Shuri. Because of you, the Black Panther lives. I only hope that one day you might reconsider my offer.” Her nerves felt like they were on fire and confusion filled her brain. Offer? What offer? Pulling away with a polite smile, she kindly nodded her head and hoped that he would let go of her hand. He didn’t at first, but as the screaming in her veins reached a fever pitch, he suddenly stilled and stared behind her with wide eyes. Her hand was dropped like a hot coal, and she not-so-subtly wiped her hand on the fabric of her jumpsuit.
“Do all your subjects make you this uncomfortable?” Came a gruff voice from behind her. Shuri is not proud of what followed those words. She jumped in her skin and squeaked in a very un-pantherlike way, whirling around to greet Namor, who had apparently been standing only inches from her back. Gulping and blinking in what she can only imagine was a good imitation of a goldfish, she scrambled for a response. Her bones felt like they were trying to explode out of her body and each of her muscles was racing with energy, and neither were helping her form cohesive thoughts right now.
“Namor! Bast almighty, don’t scare me like that!” Why does he have to be so unpredictable? Even after their mutual truce, she didn’t know what to expect from him; she didn’t know how she was supposed to act around him. But in a room still full of elders and important tribe members, she knew she had to try and recover her diplomacy. Clearing her throat and straightening her shoulders, she forced herself into the role of Panther and spoke. “No, my subjects do not make me uncomfortable. He merely said something puzzling to me, that’s all.”
Namor’s stare was uncomfortable. It was unblinking and piercing, freezing her where she stood and making her suddenly conscious of everything she was doing at that moment. His lips pursed and she kept steady eye contact, trying to emulate the Panther’s confidence. “You said you had something for me in your lab?” He hadn’t blinked yet, and she was counting his eyelashes to avoid the discomfort that came with such prolonged eye contact. Forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one… She nodded at him and gestured for him to begin walking out of the room. He did not.
“Yes, I’ve got a set of kimoyo beads for you, that way we don’t have to go through a chain of command if there’s ever an emergency.” Realizing that he wasn’t going to move before her, she tried her best to gracefully walk past him. There wasn’t a lot of room considering just how damn close the god was standing, but she made it work, and led him out of the room and towards her personal transport to Mount Bashenga. She could feel him behind her as she walked, like a beacon of vibranium in the shape of a man, and she just hoped he wasn’t going to give her a bad reputation around the palace again.
He waited until they were moving on the transport to speak again. “Why were you uncomfortable earlier?” It was more of a demand than a question, and she couldn’t help the annoyed groan that escaped her.
“Bast, you’re like a dog with a bone whenever I don’t tell you something. Did you ever think that maybe it was none of your business?” He frowned across from her, but the intent in his gaze didn’t waver.
“No. But if someone is threatening the Black Panther in her own palace, then we are going to have problems in this alliance.” Threatening? For Bast’s sake. This man was going to make her religious again, just for the sake of shutting him up. She rolled her eyes and didn’t bother trying to keep the bite out of her tone.
“He wasn’t threatening me, he just said something about an offer he’d made me that I have no memory of.” Without skipping a beat, the god-king was responding again.
“If he was not threatening you, then why was he holding your hand in such a way that made you wipe it as soon as he turned around? Why did he pull you toward him by your hand?” He was speaking with a frown, a hint of anger in his expression that seemed to be mostly made of pure curiosity. Or maybe confusion. She couldn’t really tell. Annoyance still filled her at his persistence, and she tried not to punch anything in her frustration.
“I wiped my hand because his palm was sweaty, and it was gross. He probably just flirted with me at a festival or something and I don’t remember. It wasn’t a threat, Namor. Not everything is about war.” A muscle in his jaw worked at her words, but he nodded once, seemingly dropping the subject.
They were arriving at her lab anyways, so she had an excuse to turn away from him to collect herself. How does he get under my skin so easily? I am better than this childish arguing. The transport docked, and she started walking without looking back to see if he followed or not. She didn’t need to, either, as it seemed the anxiety in her body was exclusively Namor-centric. It was like a compass that pointed vaguely in his direction, and she noted with ire that it got stronger the closer he was. Has he been the cause of this all day? Is it the vibranium?
She should’ve noticed right away if this was the side effect of the herb, but thinking back to it, she hadn’t felt it last night or any of the other times she’d met with him. Maybe it’s only when he’s out of the water? That was a disturbing thought. Being constantly anxious whenever he was on land was not an awareness that she wanted to have. Granted, she had every right to be anxious. Something told her that if this man was left to his own devices, he would start a war every time he came ashore. His mother’s bracelet on her right wrist stared up at her when she looked down and she sighed. I really should’ve tested that herb first.
Stepping down the final steps into her private floor of the lab, she led the way to the table where all of her prototypes were strewn messily about. “Feel free to wander around and look at things. Just don’t touch or something may explode.” Her hand waved aimlessly in the air, shooing him away from her workstation so that she could do one final calibration of the beads. She could feel him slowly walking around the room, stopping here and there to look at something, but he didn’t ask questions, so she did her best to focus on the readings in front of her.
“Princess Shuri, your food is here.” Came Griot’s voice from above. Turning around with a screen in hand, she walked to the panel in the wall and pressed, revealing a plate full of sushi and a glass of water.
“Ugh, Griot set a reminder to look into dietary science on the creation of mineral supplements.” She called out while grouchily grabbing the admittedly beautiful plate. Grumbling to herself, she made her way back to the table but was halted in her tracks at the sudden screaming in her veins. Stopping and looking up from her hands, she found Namor directly in her path. He was staring intently at the plate in her hands and for a moment she stood there, wondering if it would be cannibalism to offer him some. He’s a man, a serpent at best, fish isn’t cannibalism!, came the thoughts in her mind.
“I thought you already ate. Is this a second dessert?” He hadn’t looked up from her sushi, and it looked like he was sniffing the air as he examined it.
“Uhhh, yes and no. It’s just that I apparently need a higher mineral intake than I used to and unfortunately fish and seaweed were Griot’s recommendations to fix that. This is called sushi, it’s usually raw fish, steamed rice, seaweed paper, and some other assortment of veggies, seafood, or sauces.” She tried not to be embarrassed at the fact that she was just holding a plate of food in between them, but frankly, today had been an embarrassing day and she was running low on energy as is. His gaze shifted up to meet hers and he seemed to pause before speaking, like he was unsure of himself.
“That… does not sound bad. Would you allow me to try one of these s’ushi, princess?” The way he said it was unique, and she laughed slightly at his clearly mayan interpretation of the word. Still, she picked up a piece and offered it to him, holding it up for him to take. One less piece for me to stomach. Color flushed in his cheeks, and he stared at her wide-eyed. Confused, she tilted her head, her eyebrows furrowing naturally as he kept staring at her like that. Is it rude to hand something to the king? No, the expression on his face wasn’t offended. She narrowed her eyes as the seconds ticked by. Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, Namor leaned forward and bit into the roll pinched between her fingers. Now they were both flushing, because What the fuck Namor?, and he pulled back, taking the roll with him.
For a minute she stared at him, trying not to seem as freaked out as she was. Every time she thought she understood where he was going, he would go and pull something like this. He bit into the roll, and his eyes snapped down to where one hand held the remaining half as he chewed. “This is delectable. Your people came up with this?” His face, no longer so flushed, tilted down to look at her and she swallowed back her discomfort.
“No, actually. Sushi is Japanese in origin. One of the surface-countries made up of islands in the Pacific.” She really didn’t know how far his knowledge of the rest of the world went, so she felt like a schoolteacher explaining what basic arithmetic was. She couldn’t tell if she was being unclear or dumming it down too much, but he didn’t seem to mind, merely giving her a soft smile before eating the rest of the roll in one bite. He then, honest to Bast, licked his fingers clean and looked at her with an earnest grin. Something in her stomach fluttered at the image and she quickly beat it back with a stick. Absolutely not.
“I suppose the surface can get some things right. I see why you like eating this.” At the reminder, she pouted, and turned to put the plate down on her worktable. Shifting her attention to the beads, she ran the final configurations while she spoke.
“I actually hate eating it, but sushi is more tolerable than straight fish is, so I make do.” She felt him approach again and could hear the bafflement in his tone.
“You do not like fish? But you like charred land mammal?” She let out a sharp laugh at that description, not disagreeing with it.
“I’ve never liked fish. I was made to eat it every year for celebrations, but my parents knew better than to make me eat it any other time. It just has such a slimy texture, and no matter what kind there always seems to be a certain fishy flavor to it.” She glanced over to him with a teasing grin as she spoke naturally, the words flowing from her mouth like water. “It’s why I never used my fangs during our battle. I didn’t want a fishy aftertaste in my mouth.” A number of expressions crossed his face at once and she snickered, finishing the last tweaks of his beads and standing up to face him.
He was staring at her in disbelief, mostly looking somewhere between offended and concerned, though something darker flickered behind his eyes as she stepped closer to him. Reaching for his hand, she looked up at him for permission before lightly grabbing his wrist to raise it between them. All the screaming in her body seemed to stop at once and she felt the wind get knocked out of her at the feeling. In its place was a low hum that soothed her frayed nerves, and a very strong awareness of the warmth of his hand in her palm. Ignoring that. There’s too many side effects to keep track of at this point.
“These are kimoyo beads, you’ve seen the ones I wear on my wrist. These I made specifically for you, so they have a direct communication line to my own that should work anywhere on Earth. I translated the runes into Mayan as best as I could, and I simplified their features. If you ever need to know how to do something with them, this bead here, the one with ‘How’ engraved on it, will walk you through all of the features.” Glancing back up at him, she folded the bracelet into his hand and took a step back. The nerves were back but at this point she’d spent more time with them than without them today and was too tired to be put on edge by them. She gave him time to find a place for them and walked over to force down some of the sushi rolls waiting on her desk.
Looking over, she found him turning the beads in his hand and looking at his bracers as if wondering where they should go. Standing like that, he looked more like a man than he did a god, and she found she liked this version of him infinitely compared to the insistent prick he’d been on the transport ride over. He seemed to decide on his left wrist and slipped the beads on over his golden vibranium bracer. It looked a little out of place, but granted, so did the bracelet she wore on her right arm every day. I suppose it’s only fitting.
“Thank you, Shuri. For the s’ushi, and your gift. I will learn it well and use it if I or my people are ever in need of your help.” Her heart stopped in her chest hearing her name from him for the first time. From his lips, it sounded more like poetry than the teasing children at school had made it sound in her youth. Unable to think of anything to say, she smiled at him, hoping he would understand her meaning. His eyes crinkled at her, and she tried not to be offended at his amusement. It was the first time in a long time that anyone had called her by her name and there hadn’t been any kind of weight or implication behind it.
Tentatively, she reached her hand out for him to shake. He clasped it with his own and smiled at her, nearly blinding her with his radiance. How is this the same man that waged war on my country and took my mother from me? Her heart clenched, and too many feelings fought for her attention. He shook her hand once before letting go and announcing his leave. Without prompting, he walked out of her lab and left her alone. She should really take the time to think about today. Everything that had happened. The side effects of the herb. Her emotions. But instead, she turned to her window and gazed out at the train lines below. I’ll deal with all of that tomorrow.