Conundrum

The escrima stick whirled in Maria’s hand as she spun the weapon around and around. It had nothing to do with showing off, and everything to do with the comfort of control and the release of her own tension. With her eyes closed and her mind clear, she dropped into stance and restarted her sequence moving smoothly.

*Clack*

She winced at the unexpected impact and glared at the cause of her disruption.

Of course it was Romanoff holding an escrima stick in each hand, using a single one to block.

“Sticks, Hill? I shouldn’t be surprised. Do you know how utterly impersonal sticks are?” Romanoff looked way more pleased with herself, for what her words deserved.

Maria frowned, not quite understanding what the joke was. “As opposed to hand to hand combat?”

“Mhmm.” Without warning, a leg went flying out to kick a stick out of her hand.

She glared at Natasha and tossed her remaining weapon aside. “Escrima sticks, knives, guns, cuffs and ropes are just tools to get the job done. I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion.”

The Russian followed suit, throwing her own aside too. “You mean to tell me that you’ve never experienced the thrill of intimate combat?”

Maria’s glare darkened at the attitude regarding violence. “I fight out of necessity, not enjoyment.”

“I still owe you twenty, right?”

“You must be hard up for entertainment if you think I have time to play games with you. If you’re really looking for something to do you can alw-” 

“No need, Maria.” Romanoff interjected with all teeth and smiles. “You’re too deprived for me to pass up this opportunity. Twenty bucks says this won’t end the way you think it will.”

Maria sighed, but nodded her agreement anyway. The more time spent with Natasha, the more she could learn about Natasha.

The next thing she knew, her breath was expelled from her lungs, and she was staring up at the woman from the ground.

The redhead smirked, that cocky smirk that Maria no way in hell thought was attractive or appropriate. “I promise not to throw a single kick or punch, Commander.”

She frowned, getting to her feet. “You mean we’re having a judo or grappling match? I’ve never seen you display any knowledge in them.”

Lips opened, revealing white teeth. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Natasha Romanoff was an efficient and dirty fighter. Often shooting forward to land an unorthodox and surprisingly fast blow in the weakest points of the body with incredible flexibility - and she was damn good at it too.

Maria pushed herself to her feet, “Ok.” She too, wouldn’t be throwing any kicks or punches - it was only fair.

While her krav maga training delved into judo, she hasn’t actually had a need to use judo since her time in the military; and with Romanoff not being able to propel herself forward in her usual preferred manner - Maria figured they’d both be at a disadvantage.

The Russian made the first move, surprising her by propelling herself towards her. Maria got into position, bending, hip low and ready to launch Natasha using the woman’s own momentum against her.

She didn’t know how the redhead managed it, but somehow she twisted midair, and grasped onto her waist to force the both of them to tumble to the floor.

With the agent, firmly latched onto her back, Maria writhed and twisted, trying to find an opening to slip out at.

“You see,” Natasha huffed out. “There’s nothing quite like feeling a person move against you.”

Maria felt the woman’s pressure on her back ease a little and took advantage by pushing up against the floor. “You talk too much.” 

“And you don’t pay attention.” Pressure was back on her. Legs, arms, body weight and momentum were all used expertly to keep her on the defensive.

The two of them seemed to fall into a pattern from there. Romanoff was just as aggressive grappling as she was with her normal fighting style. Though it was clear that she was much stronger than the redhead, the woman’s natural fluidity and flexibility made it damn near impossible to pin her down or force her to tap out at all.

From the ground, Maria managed to prop herself up on all fours, trying to quickly get to her feet. But Natasha was faster than her. A hand shoved her left shoulder down that was attached to her left arm she hadn’t managed to extend. That side of her body, crumpled back against the ground.

A knee was placed on her left side and suddenly there was pain on her back. Pain caused by Romanoff’s other knee digging into her kidneys.

She gritted her teeth at the pain and the complete domination of the situation.

“Are you learning, Commander?” The Russian asked in a conversational manner that didn’t match the setting. “There’s nothing more intimate than feeling someone’s exertion. To feel someone’s heartbeat increase and their muscles strain with your own, to feel sweat on sweat.”

The knee dug in even deeper.

Maria wished Natasha wasn’t so talkative, she might have realised sooner that Romanoff made a mistake. The Russian had a knee planted on the ground, and was in the process of shifting her entire weight from that foot, to the knee on her back.

She gritted her teeth and summoned her strength to slip her left hand out from underneath herself and quickly yank the woman’s floor planted knee, forcing her off balance. The knee on her back instantly removed itself and she pressed the advantage, twisting to pull Natasha beneath her.

Of course the damn smart ass was still grinning from ear to ear. Still Maria didn’t stop moving, she straddled a single leg, putting most of her weight onto the woman’s upper thigh, and worked on trying to restrict the arms now that the legs could be considered a non-threat.

“- I love feeling the change of someone’s breathing in my face as I stare and see the weight of their feelings shift in their eyes. If this isn’t intimate, then I don’t know what is.”

The last thing Maria expected was for Romanoff to punctuate that statement with a gentle, yet firm thrust of the thigh to slide up higher between her legs.

There was no mistake.

Dear, lord. 

Intimate combat.

She fucking meant it in a both literal and figurative way!

Now that it had been pointed out, there was no unseeing or unfeeling the literal intimate position they were in. One of Natasha’s legs between her own, with the other curled around her waist to keep her there.

Her body throbbed and pulsed now, much quicker to react than her rational brain seemed to be.

“It’s been so lovely getting to know what you look like, and how you move Commander.” Natasha purred, as she played her final hand, and used her core muscles to roll Maria onto her back and pin her arms in a way that kept their lower halves positioned the same way.

“What the fuck.” She gasped out, not quite realising what happened.

“Tell me all those cuffs and sticks are anywhere near as satisfying as this.” The woman oozed out with surprisingly wide blown pupils that probably matched her own.

Closing her eyes wasn't as effective as Maria hoped. She was now very much hyper aware of Natasha’s deep breaths, the pressure between her legs caused by the thigh still wedged there. She bit her lip at the subtle rocking beginning to take place.

She needed to focus.

Such a nearly impossible task given everything right now.

“Why?” Maria rasped out. “Why me?”

Natasha’s grip loosened, and she felt the woman’s thumbs begin to caress her wrists idly. “Because I owe you, and I never forget a debt.”

Maria took one of Romanoff’s hands into her own, not quite sure if the squeeze she gave it was one of reassurance or encouragement. “There’s no debt among friends. We look out for each other.”

“Practise what you preach then, and let someone look out for you.” Her act seemed to be taken as encouragement. Their faces were so close, and the distance seemed to be closing quickly.

Too quickly.

More forcefully than she intended, Maria pushed Natasha back. “You made your point. I guess you’re keeping that twenty.”

Green eyes flashed with anger and something as they peered down at her. “What’s your problem, Hill? You can’t honestly say you don’t want me. You’re a walking disaster everytime you’re near me.” 

“Get off me.” She demanded, and to her surprise, was obeyed. Her rational brain seemed to take control again. “My ‘problem’ Romanoff isn’t whether or not I want you or don’t want you. My problem is I literally haven’t gotten laid in years - No, don't even think I’m looking to rectify that. You are my subordinate, I am responsible for you, not the other way around. Secondly, I don’t know a damn thing about you, it’s true you have an uncanny ability to bend me to your will and make me believe I’m a fish out of water; but that’s hardly a justifiable reason to sleep with you. Lastly, workplace relations in this line of work only ends badly.”

Romanoff, who began stretching during her speech, frowned. “So in other words, you’re taking the moral high ground, accusing me of manipulating you, and placing a bandaid over those by mixing in the fact we’re coworkers. What a bunch of bullshit. You’re just afraid, Hill. I’ve seen you around. You are right about one thing. You have subordinates, and for all your talk about being friends, you don’t let yourself have any. It’d be a hell of a lot more polite if you stopped lying to me.”

Maria snorted in indignation, “It’s hard to believe your speciality is fact finding if you think I’m trying to deceive you. It’s a good thing we’re not friends then, it’s hard to build reliable interpersonal relations if there’s no trust around.

The agent didn’t reply, opting to glare at the wall and she found herself letting out a breath to settle herself.

“Romanoff, I’m going to pretend this didn’t happen. Unless you want Coulson to take over as handler, you’re going to have to trust me with your life during deployments. I also need to be able to trust that you won’t try to cause waves with anyone else with your antics, or put yourself in more danger than you’re already in.”

“Why you?” Natasha quoted Maria’s question from before. “Because even when you were a moody fucked-up nobody you showed me more consideration than anyone else I’d met before with no expectation of wanting anything in return.”

“That was a life-time ago, agent.”

Green eyes flashed again and the redhead flipped to her feet. “Not to me. I believe everything you’ve said. I also believe everything you refuse to say. You’re afraid of attachments.”

Maria blinked, and considered her response carefully.

It was true that the Russian initiated this discussion by underhanded means, the fact was they were probably being more open with each other than ever before.

She let out a deep breath. “Whether or not you choose to believe what my biggest reasons are. This line of work only ends in loss for people like us. A mother, father, sister, brother, daughter or son will die trying to save ordinary people from things they know nothing about. The only reward those making that sacrifice have is to allow everyday citizens to go on none the wiser - the only reward is knowing that their role helped prevent something worse than how things already are. It’s how my father lost his life.”

Maria had Natasha’s complete attention, and she inched closer to the woman.

“Never forget who I am, Romanoff. I am yours and Barton’s handler, I am responsible directly for you. But first and foremost I am Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, and as such I am directly or indirectly responsible for every single 2095 employees this organisation has. I refuse to be your friend or bed buddy one minute and order you to your death in another. I never truly appreciated Jen’s position before until I accepted this position.”

The last sentence left her mouth before she even had a chance to think it. The realisation and recollection made her freeze.

The redhead perked up, and Maria knew she was going to latch onto it. “Don’t stop now, Commander.”

“Ex-girlfriend.” She answered gruffly, “She was a nurse while I was a grunt - saved my life a few times. I guess it got too much for her, she left the day I was discharged from hospital.”

“Weak sauce.” Natasha clicked her tongue. “Never forget who I am, Maria. I am The Black Widow. I will do achieve my objective by any means necessary. If I have to have you dripping with desire for you to be openly honest with me, then that’s what I’ll do. Because as Black Widow, I’ve never had anyone do something for me for nothing in return until I met you; and until S.H.I.E.L.D. I was never allowed to have any kind of relationship that wasn’t one of predator and prey. Make no mistake, I intend on capitalising on this new found freedom. I need to. There has to be more to life than just taking it away.”

Who would have thought that being confronted with her own hard truths would push the manipulator of truths into her own honesty.

She locked eyes with the Russian’s unusually vulnerable ones, and felt herself deflate. “Is that offer for a drink from your flask still open?”