Conundrum

Time always seemed to fly by for her in a kind of structured chaos that never seemed to slow. Day in and day out her days were generically the same and yet always something new substance to deal with. Wake up, check-over and approve of missions, leave requests and order forms, brief and debrief agents, eat, stare at herself in the mirror and finish the day off with a bit of a workout (which was sometimes accompanied by Romanoff.)

Currently though, Maria was only half paying attention to The Director rambling about some social event she wasn’t interested in.

“The Christmas Party, Hill. You’re required to attend.” Fury sighed. “Hell, I’m required to attend it. I’m sending you down with Romanoff and Barton to prepare ahead of time.”

She blinked at this information then nodded, it’s been years since he’s assigned anything specific to her. Let alone something with this little significance.

It didn’t matter really. If Maria didn’t do it, then someone else would. 

So why not her?

“Why will the trouble duo be joining me?”

“Because I said so.” The man replied cryptically, with a grin.

Maria screwed up a scrap piece of paper and threw it at him in response, echoing. “Sure, because you said so. I’ll inform them both and get ready to depart then.”

“I’ll email you what you’ll need.”

“Yes, sir.”

The flight down on the Quinjet was unnerving. 

No, it wasn’t Romanoff who was having a whispered conversation with Barton throughout the trip.

It was Barton who kept periodically looking over at her as if they haven’t worked together for as long as they have.

Maria undid her safety belt and moved closer to the cockpit to look out of the windowpane.

“We’re almost there, ma’am.” The pilot informed her. “Another ten minutes until landing.”

She frowned at the scenery. There were no cities or towns in sight. “Where is ‘there’ exactly?”

“Commander Hill…” Barton addressed her hesitantly, and she glanced back at him in question. “Do you think you could…”

“- Learn how to smile within the next ten minutes?” Natasha finished, flashing one of her own.

“What?”

“You don’t want to scare the kids, do you?”

Kids?

“Barton, I don’t think Fury told her everything.” Romanoff nudged the archer’s side.

“Ma’am… We’re…”

Going to Barton’s house, to his family.

The supplies they were sent down to retrieve were the bottles of wine and booze his wife had been making in his absence.

And his children… They were energetic, boisterous and loud. She got dizzy just watching them, and to her surprise, Romanoff seemed to bond with them rather quickly.

If she hadn’t seen the agent kill a dozen men in a minute, she might have believed Romanoff was a little big kid.

It was terrifying to see such a drastic transition from being one way to another constantly.

Maria pulled out her phone, there was no email, and Nick was not answering her calls. Unwilling to be ignored after being blindsided like this, she shot off a text calling him an asshole and telling him revenge would be a sweet thing.

Maria decided rather quickly that she liked Barton’s wife. She respected the amount of energy, time, dedication and hard work it must require to run a distillery, household and raise three children all the while being both supportive and afraid for her husband.

She did the only thing she knew. 

Maria offered her assistance. “Anything I can help with?”

“Not at all.” Laura replied, offering a glass of juice and gestured to her husband with a jerk of a thumb. “Just relax. I bet you have your two feet on the ground less than Boofhead over there.”

‘Boofhead’ was currently using an axe to split wood.

“He’s a good agent,” Maria paused as she considered her view on him, she hadn’t known before this trip that Barton had a wife or had kids. “He’s an even better person.”

It took some real drive to repeatedly leave loved ones behind for a belief in making something better.

She drained her cup then placed it into the sink before making her way over to Barton.

“Let me,” She offered quietly. “Spend some time with them. I’ll do this.”

He seemed self conscious and unsure. “Ma’am…”

“You have time to make up for with your family. Besides, I’m bored. This’ll give me something to do.” She explained sounding a lot more gruffer than intended.

He set the axe down, nodding his thanks. 

Maria was grateful she chose to wear a tank top underneath her jacket. This was hot and sweaty hard work. She eased herself into it, allowing her thoughts to slow and the world to narrow to the blocks of wood and the swing of the axe in her hands. It was just as rewarding to split wood for Barton and Laura as it was to oversee a successful hostage situation.

Even if in very different ways.

It was very reminiscent of being a child where her only concerns were what needed to be done there and then - Of living in the moment.

A blast of water removed Maria from her bubble. 

“What the hell?!” She gasped and tried to wipe the water from her face as she turned to see what the hell just happened.

There stood Natasha with an all too pleased smirk on her face, pointing the nozzle of a hose directly at her. “You looked way too hot to be healthy.” 

“That’s what actual showers are for, Romanoff.” She said, still gasping from the shock of being unexpectedly drenched.

The woman bent down and retrieved the jacket Maria had tossed aside earlier and threw it at her. “You might want to put that on before you catch pneumonia, soldier.”

She snorted. 

Pneumonia in this weather. Right. 

“I thought you were with the others.”

“I don’t belong there. I thought I’d come and annoy you instead.”

Maria dropped the axe, not bothering with the jacket and lowered herself onto the grass. The wind against her wet clothes and skin was pleasantly cooler. Maybe Romanoff dousing her wasn’t entirely unwelcome anymore.

“Yes,” She murmured. “We don’t belong here.”

Romanoff also lowered herself to the ground, and kept her gaze on Barton’s house. “I need you to tell me something.”

“You need?” 

“I’ve seen assets killed for a lot less than the things I’ve done to you, and S.H.I.E.L.D.”

While the redhead’s choice in interacting with her often confused Maria, she knew exactly how to speak this language.

“You’re an excellent asset, it’s true. But no one in S.H.I.E.L.D is only an asset, including you.”

Romanoff grinned and began to crawl slowly towards her. “Does that go for you too, Maria?”

It was absurd how she perceived the woman to be almost predatory the closer she got. 

It made her throat dry, and her body tense.

“Because I don’t believe for a second that you can remember the last time you…” Green eyes lowered pointedly, and Maria was hyper aware of just how the wet top seemed to cling to herself. “Enjoyed yourself.”

“I was under the impression we were talking about you, agent.” 

“We are.”

Dear god, with Romanoff practically hovering over her like this, she was as helpless as a newborn babe without anything to run off and do. “What do you really want right now?”

The woman’s laughter made her want to crawl away herself and hide.

“I want to know how someone goes from being a miserable bartender who feels sorry for everyone, to apathetically running the most established black ops organisation in the world with zero espionage skills - What? Don’t look at me like that. I’ve made every reference to it!”

Fuck this woman - figuratively speaking, of course.

Surely there has to be a time that she won’t be off balance around her, right?

…Right?!

“I didn’t think you remembered.”

Romanoff let out a breath and laid down on the grass next to her. “I didn't at first. I just knew we met before. It’s a rare thing to introduce myself as ‘Nat’.”

“That’s why you demanded to know who I was, even after I identified myself.”

The woman gave a dry chuckle and winked. “And because you have that sexy as fuck scowl down pat.”

Maria picked at the blades of grass in order to avoid having to reply with something that would probably be as awkward as hell.

Her companion seemed to notice her discomfort, and then asked something that only increased the feeling. “So are you ever going to tell me your story?”

“Are you ever going to tell me yours?”

It was supposed to be a rhetorical comeback.

Natasha smiled. 

Well, her mouth smiled. 

The rest of her features darkened. “You never directly asked.”

Right. Off limits.

Maybe give a little and get something in return?

Maria let out a breath and leaned back on her hands, looking out at the scenery in front of them. “I was a military brat and decided to follow in the Captain’s footsteps. Got booted, and was a labourer and bartender before Fury recruited me.”

“Captain?”

“My father -”

“-Sounds as if you two were buddies.”

Maria glanced down at the redhead to find her staring back in a peculiar way. 

There was an injustice to the way she simplified Edward down. “He was a good and ethical man, killed in the line of duty.”

“I didn’t know my parents. I guess you could say I was raised as a Russian version of a child soldier.” Romanoff offered a small olive branch. “I kind of expected you to execute me by now. It’s what they would have done if I pulled any of the crap to them, that I have with S.H.I.E.L.D. That, and Barton’s convinced you hate everybody.”

Maria snorted at that. “It’s hard to hate someone who tries to fix their mistakes. Besides, I like Fury and Barton.”

“And..?” The agent asked, with humour dripping in her tone.

There was no answer Maria was able to give that she was certain about. She didn’t hate Natasha. She didn't even really not like her.

Maria just didn’t understand her at all.

She rolled her eyes. “You got me wet. What the hell do you think?”

The silence that followed only enhanced the feeling of mortification that washed over her at the delayed realisation of what she said and to who.

Context was completely irrelevant when it came to Romanoff.  “Don’t even -”

“- You said it, baby. Not me.”

*

Maybe the Christmas Party wasn’t such a bad thing. Between the casual, relaxed setting and the booze that was usually not allowed - most personnel appeared to be more at ease. There was pleasant conversation and laughter that was rare to witness aboard the Helicarrier.

Given her previous experience and a lack of desire to be in the centre of all this socialising, Maria stood behind the bar, making sure everyone stuck to their four beer limit.

“Look at you smiling, Hill.” Fury announced, “Miracles do happen.”

To say she was smiling was stretching it. Maria was only not glaring for once - probably.

“So’s Carter, but I don’t see you harassing her about it.” She quipped back.

“That bitch would punch me in the face if I did.”

“She probably would,” Maria agreed, as she looked out at everybody.

Some folks were dancing with one another, but most seemed to just be satisfied with shooting the shit.

The woman in question was dressed nicely, although a bit similar to herself. A white button up blouse, with a long black pair of slacks. The only difference was that the agent wore jewellery and didn’t roll her sleeves up the way Maria had. 

It was ridiculously easy to spot Barton and Romanoff in the crowd as they laughed with one another. Barton managed to pull off the casual, smart look quite well. And Natasha? Of course, no words were needed to describe how good she looked.

“And that’s why I asked you to do what we need to in ten minutes.” Fury replied, raising a brow.

“Thanks asshole. You really know how to make somebody feel special. It’s nice to know I’m your only choice by default.”

“I know you won’t punch me in the face.” He grumbled.

Neither one of them were looking forward to it.

“Believe me,” Maria said dryly. “I’ve fantasised about it plenty of times. Come on, let’s get this over with. One song only.”

They were S.H.I.E.L.D’s leaders, and as such it would be beneficial to both attend and participate in these types of things.

The Director kept his hands placed appropriately on her as they moved to the rhythm of the music. Despite being in his arms, they both kept a respectable distance. Their gazes roamed over the crowd who didn’t seem to know how to take this.

Barton was shell shocked, Carter observed stoically. And well, Romanoff? Who the hell knew what went on in her mind, but she was smirking as she whispered into the archer’s ear.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as they pretended. Primarily because for as much shit as they gave each other, there was no one they trusted more than each other.

“Ten bucks to let me dip you.” He proposed, already chuckling at the thought.

Maria snorted in response, “Ten bucks isn’t worth the shit you’ll give me if I agree.”

Fury leaned in close. Too close. “Ten bucks is worth the look on everybody’s faces.”

“No.” She insisted, as her lips curled up in an amused grin at his childishness.

She understood though. Here, it was the small things like this that made their violent and suspicious way of life just a bit more bearable. 

“Twenty bucks if you let me dip you.” A new, but equally amused voice offered.

Before she could answer, Nick did it for her. “Be gentle with her Natasha, Maria breaks easily.”

“I’ll break you easily.” She promised darkly to him, stepping back and holding out her hand for the redhead if only because he literally handed her over. “Nick thinks I need to make friends.”

“He’s not wrong,” Nat teased. “So what brings you both out in the open?”

“Appearances, setting the example and all that nonsense.”

“So you’re not a ‘do as I say and not as I do’ kind of person.” Green eyes sparkled.

“It’d be hard to garner any real respect or loyalty if I were.” She replied, feeling uncertain.

There was a distinct impression that they weren’t really discussing styles of leadership.

“How interesting for a military woman.”

Maria cleared her throat and really once again found herself analysing Natasha. “I think it’s rather logical.”

“Oh really?” Romanoff’s eyes flashed with something that she couldn’t identify.

She spun the woman around, surprisingly enjoying the act. “Would you for instance be interested in staying in S.H.I.E.L.D if we didn’t have any kind of integrity?”

As the woman stepped back into position, she pressed her body up against hers firmly. It was absolutely ridiculous that Maria felt the need to shiver at the way Commander escaped Natasha’s lips against her ear. “Are we speaking about S.H.I.E.L.D or you Maria?”

She blinked at the implication, “S.H.I.E.L.D of course. They had it before I joined. So would you?”

Romanoff did dip her, much to Maria’s surprise.

“I’ll let you figure it out.” The assassin husked, allowing her to straighten up, and stepped away abruptly to go back to Barton with an enticing sway of her hips. “Thanks for the dance, Commander.”

“You’re welcome?” Maria blinked as if the agent had doused her in water again and stared for a second at the retreating figure.

She decided to return back to the bar where Fury was waiting for her, feeling unreasonably frustrated by what just happened.

What the hell was that?

“You hopeless bitch.” He shook his head in disappointment. “That was a prime opportunity you missed.”

She pulled two of Barton’s beers out of the fridge and handed one to him. “What the fuck are you rambling about now, Nick?”

“To think you’re my second in command. Didn’t I promote you from the Intelligence Division?!”

Maria narrowed her eyes at him. “What of it?”

“I’m demoting your ass,” He snatched the beverage from her hands. “If there was ever a time to kiss a woman, that would have been it.”

She immediately looked for Barton and Natasha. The redhead’s eyes were already on her as the agent lifted a beer up in a toasting gesture.

Oh, hell no.

Maria gave a hesitant smile and raised her own beer in return.

As usual, Fury was completely and utterly out of his mind.

“She owes me twenty bucks.”