It couldn’t be possible, Peter knew it couldn’t be possible … Peter also knew it definitely was possible, in fact considering that it was an event that had already occurred it was not just possible but a certainty. He had received his first ever D, a D+ but what did that matter, it was still a D. Peter felt numb, he stared down in shock at his biology test, he knew it was the grade he deserved but that didn’t soften the blow. He had completely forgotten about the test; the team had flown down south for the weekend to attend some specialized training Tony had arranged, he had been so focussed on it that come Monday morning, the test appeared as a total surprise. He knew he should be happy that he didn’t fail, but this was going to be a substantial blow to his GPA.
It didn’t come as a surprise when Mr Warren called him back after class. “Here.” His teacher held out a small sheet of paper, which Peter hesitantly took.
“What’s this?” Peter asked, his eyes tracing over the form in his hands.
“A form of acknowledgement. You’ll have to have a parent or guardian sign that. It’s to make sure parents are aware of concerning grades…there have been issues… in the past.” He finished reminiscently.
Peter felt his throat get tight. Tony. He was going to have to tell Tony. “It was just one test.” He reasoned, his voice almost pleading.
“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal.” Mr Warren collected his papers and headed to the classroom door with an air of finality.
Peter stared at the form, his eyes no longer reading the words, his mind was perseverating on a single thought… he had to tell Tony.
The day passed surprisingly quickly, Peter was able to distract himself during his last couple of classes, but the stress weighed heavily on him. His chest was too tight, and his arms were too heavy to force a smile when Happy picked him up that afternoon. He vaguely passed off his behavior with the excuse of a headache when he was met with Happy’s prying questions. By feigning the headache, at least Peter was able to quickly escape up to his bedroom without further suspicion.
Peter knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid Tony for long, but he also knew he wasn’t ready to tell his genius guardian that he had failed a relatively simple test. Peter figured it could go one of two ways, either Tony would think he was an idiot and be disappointed in the person he welcomed into his home, or, he would think that spiderman was too much of a distraction and take it away. If Peter wasn’t smart, then all he had was spiderman and if he wasn’t spiderman then what did he have that made him deserving of a place in the Tower. He had always been able to balance both school and the superhero stuff, so how could he have let this happen? Peter felt himself spiraling but couldn’t pull himself out, even when his breaths started quickening, his thoughts continued. He had access to the greatest minds in the country, if not the world, and he still couldn’t pass a highschool biology test. All those days working with Dr Banner in the medical labs and for what, he clearly hadn’t paid very much attention. Tony would probably tell the whole team, they would all realize Peter wasn’t as clever as he had tricked them into thinking. They had all thought he was so clever, why had he let them think that, he was just average, maybe a little above in some areas, but definitely not deserving of a Stark internship. He had probably completely blown the cover, no one would believe he was interning at Stark Industries with a grade like that. Was he going to have to leave the tower?
“Mr Parker you appear to be in distress. I have alerted Boss. He is on his way to you now” The AI voice rang, ripping Peter from his thoughts.
“No, no, no. I’m fine. Don’t alert anyone.” Peter shouted towards the ceiling.
“Boss has already been informed as per section 2.3c of the spiderling protocol.”
Peter had already drowned the sound of the AI out, as his breaths came in heaving gulps. His chest ached, and he grasped a hand to it as pain shot through what felt to be his heart. Oh god, maybe he was having a heart attack. No. Probably not. But it hurt, it really hurt and he couldn’t really get any oxygen. Was his airway closing up? It felt like it was closing up.
By the time he heard the door open behind him, he was starting to get light headed, and tears were spilling from his eyes. The panic was suppressing any degree of embarrassment as he looked pleadingly at his guardian, still hyperventilating and grasping his chest.
“FRIDAY, what’s going on, give me a med stat.” Tony barked at the AI, making his way to Peter, concern etched into every line of his face.
“Mr Parker appears to be having a panic attack.” FRIDAY reported. Something in Tony’s face softened slightly. The report didn’t do anything to calm Peter, it didn’t really matter what the problem was, he still couldn’t breathe.
“Sit down Pete.” Tony instructed, leading Peter to the bed and guiding him down. Peter followed the directions wordlessly. “Look at me. Slow breaths. Look at me Peter.” Peter looked up to meet his mentor's gaze. “Good. Just focus for me alright. What are the first 20 elements?”
“What?” Peter breathed out, confusion pulling his focus to Tony.
“Just tell me, the first 20. Go.” Tony pulled the hand that Peter still held against his chest into his calloused ones and squeezed gently.
“Hydrogen, helium… um… hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum…” Peter let go of a shuddering breath before taking in a deep breath that seemed to reach all the way into his lungs. Peter took a few deep slow breaths, letting his eyes fall closed.
“That wasn’t twenty.”
Peter let out a huffed laugh and wiped his face before opening his eyes to look at Tony. He pulled his hands from the man's grasp as reality started to make a little more sense again.
“You okay Bud?” Tony prodded when Peter didn’t speak.
Peter gave a sharp nod. “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.” In the absence of fear and panic, embarrassment about the whole situation was filling its place. He scrubbed his hands across his face again, trying to remove any evidence of the breakdown.
“Don’t apologize. I doubt there is a single person in this entire tower who hasn’t had a panic attack.” Tony’s voice was soft and kind but Peter couldn’t help but avoid his gaze. Yeah sure, people here might have panic attacks, probably over life and death situations though, not biology tests. “You gonna fill me in on what’s going on?” When Peter didn’t answer, Tony continued. “As your guardian, I do kinda need you to fill me in on what’s going on.” His tone remained playful, clearly an attempt at keeping the atmosphere light.
“It is so stupid.” Peter finally admitted. As he said the words aloud, he knew them to be true, Tony wasn’t going to banish him from his life because of a bad grade. Instead of elaborating, Peter just reached down to where he had discarded his backpack and pulled out the form, handing it over to Tony to read for himself.
“Nothing like school, to send you spiraling.” Tony mused as he read through the form. He turned the sheet over in his hands, waving it nonchalantly. “This is okay, Pete.”
Peter looked at Tony skeptically.
“Seriously, this isn’t a big deal. I mean this isn’t going to be a recurring thing is it?”
“No.” Peter answered hesitantly.
“It’s definitely unusual for you, but it is not worth such a blow to your health bud.”
“It won’t happen again, I promise.” Peter assured Tony. Peter stood from the bed and busied himself unpacking his bag. The episode had left him feeling exhausted and empty and he now wanted nothing more than to be left alone.
“It’s okay if it does though. If you want tutors just let me know, I can have the best people organized to help.”
Peter spun to face his guardian. “NO, I mean, it’s fine. I don’t need tutors. I can do it myself, I just forgot about the test, if I didn’t forget I would have studied and it all would have been fine. I’m not stupid, I can handle highschool biology.” He rushed.
Tony raised his hands in mock defense. “Woah, okay no tutors, no worries.” Tony rose from the bed and walked to Peter’s desk. He grabbed a pen and signed the form. “Gonna come down and work in the lab?” He asked, voice casual as he handed off the sheet of paper.
“No thanks, I have homework.” Peter muttered, the exhaustion seemed to be sinking into his bones.
“Great, bring it down.”
“I’d rather just get it done here.” Peter motioned to his desk. Tony looked around the room appraisingly.
“Okay, I’m just gonna go grab my StarkPad.”
“What? Why? You don’t have to stay.”
“I’m not gonna leave you alone right now, what if you freak out again.” Tony reasoned.
“I’m not gonna freak out again.” Peter argued with a whine.
“Okay, great, but if you do, I’ll be sitting right over there.” Tony nodded to the armchair on the other side of the room as he made his way out to fetch his StarkPad as promised.
As much as Peter hated to admit it, having Tony close by ended up being a pretty big help. It wasn’t because his presence was comforting, in fact it was rather annoying, but because instead of climbing into his bed shrouded in self pity, Peter was forced to do the homework he had mentioned. Occupying his mind with something else was helpful and by the time he fell into his bed, with Tony still working away nearby, he was feeling something akin to contentment.