"You seemed dreadfully exhausted when you came back home today, yet you're still awake at such hours of the night. Is there something troubling you, old friend?" Charles asks, breaking the frown forming on Erik's face.
"Charles" he says, turning to face him fully. He eyes him up and down, feeling a smile growing as he realizes that he was dressed in green striped pajamas. Brown, wispy hair falling over the tips of his eyebrows, eyes swollen and a slight flush of red was running down his cheeks.
"You look an awful lot like you could play Christopher Robin right now" he mutters, taking a few steps closer.
"Oh shut up will you? I was worried that you had left in the middle of the night again to commit yet another form of crime and the first thing that comes out of your mouth is an insult?" his little professor responds, although there was not a single tinge of venom in his voice; just pure amusement and fondness.
Erik laughs softly, kneeling down to move Charles's thighs apart before pulling him into a hug. He breathes him in. Not realizing how tense he had been until Charles came. He lets his shoulders fall, basking in the weird euphoric feeling that appears whenever Charles is with him.
He could feel how warm Charles was, despite the cold chill of air coming from the open windows.
"Did I wake you? Was I thinking too loudly?" he whispers into his mess of hair, a hand coming up to brush it away slightly.
"No, well- maybe. I woke up because I felt that your mind just seemed so far away, and as soon as I did I became too bothered by the thought to go back to sleep. So I searched for you" Charles says, sighing softly as he pressed his face into Erik's chest.
His heartbeat felt so strong, but soft. Like the steady beat of drums in a big, open field. It's Charles's favorite sound, he decided. Both his mind and heart will always be worth listening to, for even just the shortest moments. He loves Erik. So very much.
"I'm sorry. I was just wondering about something and I figured that if I had just moved rooms I wouldn't bother you, but the plan seems to be futile isn't it?" Erik chuckles, hands coming up to massaging Charles's scalp.
"I don't mind. I just missed you, that's all." He says, smiling. He cups Erik's face into his hands, his thumbs stroking over Erik's sculpted cheekbones.
"You look uglier when you have that big old frown on your face, you know " Charles laughs, kissing the wrinkle between his eyebrows.
"Let's recall that thing you said about insults darling" Erik says, a wide grin growing across his face. He leans even closer into Charles, staring deep into the pool of blue.
"It doesn't apply to me" Erik huffs out another laugh.
Silence fell between them after that, but it was nothing awkward or tense. They were comfortable. Holding each other in a tight embrace. And for a moment, it felt as if the world emptied itself for them to have this. It was good.
"Tell me what's wrong?"
Erik's stomach feels like it had leapt up into the hollow of his throat and he couldn’t draw a full breath. He wasn't ready to tell him anything. Not yet.
"Oh" Charles whispered. He must've picked his thoughts by accident.
Charles was the one who broke away from the hug, adjusting into a more comfortable position on his wheelchair.
"Stand up darling. Come back to the room with me? Your knees must hurt after being in that position for so long." he smiles at him, offering a hand.
"No, you must be mistaken. I have pretty strong bo- oh god, you're right. Nevermind. I must be getting old." Erik says, struggling as he tries to stand up on his own.
Charles cringes as he hears the harsh click of joints popping back together.
"We're both getting old, dear friend"
Erik stares down at him. Pale, freckled skin now covered in moonlight. The curtains must've been left open, it's completely bright when it shouldn't be.
But it doesn't matter. In that moment, all he could think about was how beautiful his Charles was.
Erik blames him for what he says next.
"I love you."
Charles seemed a little startled by his words. Like it was his first time hearing it from him. Maybe it was. They've been together for so long, in the most literal meaning, to the point that it seemed like it just never needed to be said.
But then Charles breaks into a smile, and oh how lovely he looked when it reached his eyes.
"You're thinking too loudly. It's quite embarrassing" his professor says, chuckling.
Charles wheels himself over to Erik, hands clumsily wrapping around Erik's wrist.
"Come on. I want to sleep with you. And maybe, when you're finally ready, you can also tell me what you're worried about. But if you still can't, that's also fine. Just come with me to bed so I can spoon you, please."
A frown finally settles into Erik's face. Quite an unreadable look if you were a stranger to the man, but Charles knows Erik is thinking about how much information he could tell him.
When they both finally went back into bed, Erik flicks a finger to fold Charles's wheelchair, putting it away to the far corner of their room.
As they settle in under the comfort of their duvet, Charles suddenly groans and gasps, a sharp pain running down his spine.
Erik rushes to pull Charles's torso over and around his lap.
"Charles?"
"I'm sorry, it just gets worse when it's cold." he says, eyebrows furrowed deep as he breathed in and out, in and out.
Erik gulps, uneasy. It's been long enough since the accident, and Charles has made sure Erik understood that it was okay, that there was no use to dwell on the past. So he stays quiet, and instead focuses on rubbing soothing circles over Charles's hand, waiting for the pain to disappear.
After a while, Charles's breathing was slow and steady again. He asks if he could help pull him up so that Charles could lean on the pillows more comfortably. He simply nods.
"Thank you" he whispers. Erik smiles softly at him, and scoots over to wrap an arm around his waist.
"I thought I'd be the one spooning you?" Charles snorts.
Up close like this, Erik could see the deep, dark circles under Charles's eyes, and he knows it's because he's been overworking himself again. But he'll save it for later. They both needed this.
"You can make it up next time I come back home" he says, brushing away his brown curls just to kiss his forehead.
He doesn't stop at one. Not at two. Not at three, four, five,..
Charles chuckles and cups Erik's face once again to stop him from slobbering all over his face.
"I love you too, Erik Lensherr."
And just like that, it takes his breath away. Maybe this is what Charles felt like when he said it too. Who knew such clichés could come in a professor shaped package and be so annoyingly sweet?
All of a sudden, he could feel a familiar rush of - pink and yellow and blue, and Erik's heart feels like it's going to burst.
He remembers when it first happened. When they first kissed years ago. When they were young and confident that the world could be bent to whatever they wanted it to be. And when Charles finished babbling shyly about how and why it happened, Erik just asked if it's gonna happen every time he visited, and promises he'll be visiting more after Charles nods with a flaring red blush that spreads til the tips of his ears.
"I know you were thinking about us again" Charles says, gaze unfaltering.
"We're always thinking about us"
Charles smiles at that, looking down to his hand. He brings it up to kiss his ring finger.
"You know I'm safe here. I keep our children safe. You keep our children safe."
Erik licks his lips, he didn't really have the words or the energy to say anything back yet.
Charles presses his face into Erik's chest again, and heaves a breath.
"I want to kiss you. Can I kiss you?" Charles asks. Erik nods.
Charles pulls himself up to sit, and he props a shoulder to lean all his weight to, and dips his head down.
It's only meant to be a quick, chaste kiss. But then Erik sighs into his mouth and presses his body against Charles, and he falters. Charles surges into the kiss as strong arms wrap around his shoulders to draw him ever so closely. And a pleasant buzz hums in the back of his mind.
Charles clings to him, and as awkward as it could be, he tries to climb into Erik's lap, adjusting his legs so it doesn't shift uncomfortably beneath him.
It was a clumsy attempt, but Charles could care less. Erik's kiss was deep and desperate and intense and he loved every second of it.
"Charles," he whispers between breaths.
"My god- oh- Charles"
"You like my name too much" Charles grins into the kiss, giggling when Erik's hand brushes his neck. Tickling him in the process.
"I do. I love you" he says.
Erik's eyelashes flutter, and Charles gets lost into his eyes. They were the blueish grey of every dancing sky, and as intense as every wave the sea brings, and felt as hot as every fire lit on earth.
He felt like he couldn't breathe for a second. His heart skipped more beats than it should and Charles was sure he was done for.
He smiles at Erik before diving in for another kiss, on the end of Erik's jaw this time. He presses his lips softly on every inch of his skin, touching, rubbing, tracing lines over the tips of his brows.
"You don't have to tell me anything yet" he says to him. His voice is soft and goes through Erik's ears like silk.
"But don't let yourself be lost to it, my friend"
Erik nods, and sighs. Grateful that Charles understands him so well. Ever since Magda and his Mother, Erik never really had anyone else he could be vulnerable like this with.
Charles had been there for every step of his life, despite both of them walking to a different direction.
Charles loved him. And Erik does too.
"I want to be with you like this forever" Erik says, brows digging deep, leaving wrinkle lines on his forehead.
Charles laughs, sad and bitter and fearful all at once.
"I want that too. I want you desperately to stay forever, so I can make sure you're safe, but we both need to do so much. I still wish I could come with you but we've both passed the days where we thought that- that could work"
Erik nods, eyes glassy, rimmed with red.
"I like it when you're here," Charles says.
"But I've come to be fond of the way we are right now. Fighting for mutants, fighting each other, and then sneaking to each other's chambers at the dead of night to snuggle or something" Charles giggles, wiping away the single tear on Erik's cheek.
Erik laughs too. The heavy feeling on his chest had long disappeared.
They both stay that way for a while; in the safety of each other's arms, until sunlight peeks to the room through the gaps of the curtains. At peace with knowing that they both will always, always have each other.