The Dashboard
The drive was tense. Bucky sat in the front and Phil drove while Maria stayed in the back with Clint. Phil hadn’t explained much to Bucky but he understood it was an emergency and taunts would not be appreciated or tolerated so he stayed silent.
In the ER, the four waited, Phil’s knee tapping the laminate flooring rapidly.
Clint had stopped shaking and jerking but now he was quiet. The best thing was that he was awake, even if he was out of it. If he didn’t regain consciousness, Phil would be even more concerned.
He groaned when he felt a breeze of air move when someone walked by. It stirred him from his sleep and he tried to shift out of Maria's strong hold. “Let go.” he ground out.
Maria opened her mouth to comfort him before remembering he was deaf, and his vision was blurry.
“I don’t know how to comfort him either,” Phil admitted, rubbing his face anxiously.
By the time they got him in the hands of doctors Phil was a nervous wreck trying to stay composed. He had made calls out to Fury, and Scott, calling off the tutoring considering the situation. He had calmed himself down more using the strategies he so often had to teach his boys, but there was still an impending doom in his chest.
Bucky had been silent though most of it, his face carefully neutral but he had his eyes locked. It reminded Phil that this wasn’t any easier on Bucky either.
“Maria’s gonna stay and wait for news but we need some food. You can pick the restaurant,” he told Bucky, standing up for the first time in a few hours.
When they got out to the car, Phil felt a bit better, the cramped hospital space had been getting to him.
“So are you gonna stay silent or do I have to figure out what happened myself?”
The older man sighed while pulling the car out and towards the road. “Clint has a rough history of head traumas. At the appointment today we noted he’s at risk for seizures. But I didn’t think it would come on so suddenly with no trigger.”
“Huh?”
“He hasn’t shown signs since he was in the group homes. So I figured he’d likely have a seizure if something caused it. Like tremendous stress, which I suppose might be it.. Or a hit to the head, something like that.”
“Oh.”
Phil looked at Bucky’s sudden still figure as the boy eyes the dash.
“Did you hit Clint?” he asked with a steady voice.
Bucky knew better than to lie and he nodded. “We were fighting, I don’t remember who hit first but I didn’t just beat him senseless. We were both fighting each other and then he kicked me and ran to his room.” he explained. “I didn’t think he’d have a seizure, the hit was barely anything. Just to his temple.”
The older man let out a heavy and exhausted sigh. “I see. We’ll talk about it later, Buck. I should call Maria and let her update the staff then.”
The ride home from the food was quiet and the bags were in the back now.
“So what will happen to him?”
“What do you mean?” Phil asked, glancing at him.
He shrugged, looking at the dash again. “I mean. You said he was a temp but I doubt finding a place for him is gonna be anything but easy. It’s already hard, but when you add all that on it’ll be damn near impossible,” he pointed out.
“I know. I’m not sure what we’ll do,” Phil said, silently grateful that they’d taken to talking about Clint as if he were still alive, still fine and healthy. He hoped the boy would live up to their talking.
Bucky nodded, staying silent for a moment before speaking up again. “You know, if you’re waiting for me to grant permission or acceptance or whatever. He’s fine if you wanna keep him. I’ll try not to fight that much.”
Phil smiled at Bucky's attempt to relent. “Thank you Buck. I’m still thinking about it.”
“I know I was a bit of an ass when I was mad about you bringing him in at first. I was just.. Really stressed. With Bruce and all. I don’t mind the kid really. Either of them. I know what it's like to need a home, and I wouldn’t deny them the chance I got just because it’s a rough start. I just handled it poorly,” he admitted. “I guess I still get scared. New situations I don’t know how to react and so I revert back to my old habits. I’ve been working hard to get past them.. But I relapse sometimes.”
“It’s okay, Bucky. It’s okay to make mistakes and relapse. That’s part of the process. It won’t excuse your actions to Clint, but I understand where you’re coming from and we can talk about that later. For now you’ve done a great job working on getting better,” Phil said softly, his smile so genuine as he listened to Bucky’s pure honesty. They had come really far in 6 years.
The teenager nodded, relaxing now that he had it off his chest. “The hospital makes me stressed a lot. Reminds me of before with.. The whole accident,” he murmured, rubbing his prosthetic arm.
“It’s got a lot of bad associations. If you’d like, I can see if Scott can watch you at home?”
He shook his head, long hair falling a bit askew. “No, it’s alright. Time I face some bad stuff anyway. Can’t break associations if you hide from them,” he gave Phil a tense but determined smile.
When they got back to the hospital Clint was out and in his own room and the nurse led bucky and phil. They explained he was doing just fine now and Maria looked relieved to see they brought food, she was starving.
Eating quickly, the nurse went over the basics of the stuff.
“Was an absence seizure followed by a tonic clonic,” She explained, Bucky looking distasteful by the new language being spoken.
“Scans revealed that nothing was damaged. We already had him awake earlier for some cognitive tests and other skills.”
“So it was harmless,” Maria deduced from Clint’s bedside chair.
The nurse nodded, holding her clipboard. “Correct. It was harmless. However, When people have seizures they typically get them again in their life. He's at high risk for epilepsy, in fact he could already have it. We’re not sure because his medical history is…”
“Non existent,” Phil sighed, letting his hand trail down his face anxiously. “I heard from his previous home that he was prone to these kinds of.. Episodes. Most disregarded it as a psychotic break.”
“Then it’s possible.. Since we’re unsure we’re requiring him to stay overnight for the next 24 hours so we can monitor an EEG.”
Phil nodded, trying not to look as stressed as he felt. “Alright. And if he does have it?”
“Then we’ll have to develop a treatment plan,” she said simply, not overwhelming Phil on what if’s.
“Thank you doc,” Phil sighed, letting her go as he took a seat next to Maria and eyed the boy warily.
In the bed, Clint looked much smaller and paler than normal. His tawny blond hair fanned out askew and he had tubes and wires all over. There was a steady rhythm of beeps from three different machines and it helped ground the older man.
“I can stay if you’d like to take Bucky home,” Maria offered.
He shook his head. “I’d like to stay, please. He’s my charge,” Phil requested, resting his hand on the bed so it was almost touching the boys.
“Of course. I’ll take Bucky home then. The others will be arriving soon,” she explained, getting up. “Would you like me to drive out to pick you up tonight?”
“I’ll stay here until he’s released. In the morning could you bring me some clothes and my bag?”
“Sure thing Phil,” Maria said, giving him a firm touch on the shoulder for reassurance before he heard the door click shut behind the two.