too heavy to hold
“What?”
Banner tilts his head slightly. “Did you actually not hear what I said or are you just overwhelmed?”
“Just…hold on,” I stammer. Feeling an immense pressure in my chest that I can’t dissipate, I spring to my feet and start pacing across the floor. “Infinity stone…like mind and soul and all the others? Those glowing rocks that almost destroyed the world three years ago?”
“Technically,” Spider-man says, “it was the whole universe.”
“I know this is a lot to process,” Banner reassures me. “But this isn’t the first encounter we’ve had with something like this. There have been others.”
“Others?” I ask.
He nods. “There are several that we know of. There was the tesseract, which held the space stone. Then the mind stone was contained in the scepter. And of course, there was the gauntlet, which controlled them all.”
“Wait,” I interrupt. “You’re trying to tell me that this stupid hunk of metal that I’ve been wearing for as long as I can remember…has an infinity stone inside?”
Banner scratches his neck. “Well, that was the original intent of the design. But on the other hand, it’s unlikely that the ring would have remained dormant for this long if there really was an infinity stone inside. I mean, given your lifestyle, there must have been plenty of stressful situations in which you would’ve accessed the ring's power, even by mistake. But if there’s no stone inside, then that begs the question—”
“We’re not sure,” Stark cuts him off. “We don’t know.”
I blink, trying to process the onslaught of information. I’ve been wearing a ring for almost a decade that possibly contains one of the most powerful entities in the entire universe. It’s a miracle that through all the screwed up situations I’ve been in, this evil piece of jewelry has never caused an explosion.
Maybe this would be easier to process if the first ten years of my life weren’t a giant, useless blank. Although, I can’t imagine there ever being a point in my life where I was involved in the dealings of infinity stones. I certainly can’t imagine nine-year-old me caught up in the world of supernaturals and cosmic powers.
But there is one thing I’m sure of. If this ring is really what they say it is, then the woman with the auburn hair and green eyes knew. If there’s really an infinity stone in this piece of jewelry, she knew it was there when she put it on my finger and shoved me in a taxi. And if she knew what it was, why would she entrust it to a ten-year-old girl with amnesia?
“Violet.” Stark waves at me. “You still with us?”
“Yeah,” I mutter, shaking my head to clear it. “How can you tell? I mean, how did you know what this was?” I stretch my hand out in front of me, suddenly wanting to put as much distance between me and the ring as possible.
“As it turns out,” Stark answers, “these containment vessels require a great deal of magic to create. As a result, they emit high intensity gamma waves. I developed detectors that flag those specific levels of energy after our little incidents with the tesseract and scepter.” He stands, walking towards me. “When we brought you in after you’d been shot, the detectors went off like crazy. I didn’t understand it until I saw the ring.”
“You said…” I hesitate, an idea forming as previous words come back to me. “You told me you had seen two other rings like this one before.”
He nods. “Years ago, we raided a Hydra base. We found a ring identical to yours, but the stone was yellow. And the inscription…” He turns my hand over, my palm facing the ceiling. The inscription on the underside of the band is revealed. I’ve tried so many times to figure out what it meant, but as far as I know, the characters don’t belong to any earthly language.
I study the characters as I have a thousand times before, hoping that maybe this time, their meaning will become clear.
ᛈᛟᚹᛖᚱ
I look up at Tony, lost. “What does it mean?” I ask.
“It’s Old Norse,” he explains. “It roughly translates to ‘power’.”
“There are Asgardian legends that describe that ring being used by Bor, Odin’s father,” Bruce says. He must see the appalled look on my face, because he clarifies. “I mean, we’re not sure. But there are stories of Bor wielding a purple ring to defeat his enemies in battle. It’s said that whoever he pointed the ring at would be disintegrated by purple explosions of power.”
Spider-man gasps. “Cool.”
My mouth hangs open. “What the—”
“We don’t know for sure what the ring is capable of yet,” Steve interrupts, giving Bruce a very pointed look that clearly means stop scaring the kid. “But these legends would explain the Norse inscription. Asgardians are famous galactic conquerors. It’s not surprising that at some point in time, they would have been pursuing the stones, and created their own way to control them.”
I bring my palm towards my face, studying the inscription. “Power…” I mutter, and a shiver of fear crawls down my spine. “Power,” I repeat.
“Violet?” Natasha sounds concerned.
I lower my hand, this time addressing the room. “What did the other ring say?” I ask Stark. “The one from the Hydra base?”
He raises his chin. “Mind. They tracked it down or stumbled across it by accident, but either way, they knew what it was. There was a brief period of time before Ultron when they had the scepter in their possession. They planned to use the ring to control the mind stone.”
I nod along with his words. “You said you’ve seen another ring.”
“On Asgard,” Stark explains. “Thor took us there once after years of Steve begging him.”
“That was you,” Steve corrects.
“Whatever,” Stark ignores. “I took a self-directed tour around Odin’s treasure room. I wouldn’t have looked twice at the ring, but it looked familiar. I knew I had seen it before, but this stone was red. When I asked Thor about it, he said they had made Jane wear it when The Aether infected her. They thought the stone could tame whatever was happening to her.”
“And the inscription?” I ask.
“Reality.”
Even though I had connected the dots several sentences ago, his confirmation makes my stomach turn. “So…my ring has the power stone inside of it?”
“Maybe,” Bruce answers.
I run my hands through my hair anxiously. “So either this ring has the power stone inside of it…” I swallow, thinking of all the damage I’ve been capable of if that’s the truth. “Or it doesn’t. And if it doesn’t, then why do I have it?”
“We were hoping you could help us understand that,” Natasha says.
I stare down at the ring once more, remembering all of the nights I’ve spent searching for answers in its stone, and I feel a twinge of sadness.
I don’t often think about my parents. Wherever they are, if they're even still alive, I’m sure they gave up looking for me long ago. Maybe they’re even the ones who sent me away. Maybe the auburn haired woman was my mother.
But whoever they were, I’m sure they never wanted this life for their daughter. Or at least, I hope they didn’t. I can’t imagine a father dreaming of dumpster diving and armed robbery for his little girl. I don’t want to believe that any mother could ever want a life of crime and loneliness for her baby.
There’s only one thing I’m certain of now. If the power stone is inside of this ring, I want nothing to do with it. And if it’s not, then someone gave me this ring in hopes of using me as a mule to hide it.
I won’t be loyal to someone who would subject me to a life of running and fighting, all for the sake of a relic that ten-year-old me should have never been involved with.
All this time, I had hoped that the ring would someday reconnect me with my past. But if the Avengers are telling me the truth, then I don’t ever want to know anyone from that time. For the past nine years, the hope of answers is all that’s been keeping me going. And now that I have them, I wish I could forget.
Something in me breaks.
I never asked for this life. I never wanted to be this person who has to run and hide and fight to survive. And while learning about this ring, it’s becoming increasingly clear that the chaos and danger of my world might not be caused by me or the life I used to live that I can’t remember.
Maybe the infinity stone I’ve been unknowingly and unwillingly carrying around for almost ten years is what’s really put me in danger.
I deserved a normal life. I should’ve been given a chance at slumber parties and high school exams and horrible first dates. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Maybe it’s not too late.
“I don’t want this,” I mutter.
“You don’t want…what?” Bruce asks.
“Any of this.” I shake my head. “I’ve been running for almost ten years because someone told me to. I’ve stolen and lied and hurt people so that I could live like a ghost because that’s what I was told to do.”
“What do you mean?” Natasha asks.
“I gave up my life for this.” I twist the ring on my finger. “I don’t want it anymore.”
Steve stands, stepping towards me. “Just hold on a second—”
“I wore this ring because someone told me to,” I cut him off. “I kept wearing it because I thought it could be connected to my life before.”
“What life? Before what?” Stark asks.
No. I shouldn’t be saying this. They already know too much about me.
But I’m rambling now, and nothing makes sense anymore. Half an hour ago, the most important thing was protecting this ring. Now, my top priority is getting it as far away from me as possible.
Something I thought was important, something I thought was a symbol of the ten years I’ve forgotten, is nothing more than a lie.
“You wanted this so badly,” I say, starting to pull the ring off of my finger. It resists, my body grown around it after all this time. “You said I was too incompetent to look after it.”
Stark closes his eyes slowly. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s okay,” I assure him. “You were right.” I swallow the lump of emotion that rises in my throat. “I’ve been running for almost ten years, unknowingly protecting this ring. But I didn’t ask for this life. I deserve better. I want better.” I pull at the ring, but it refuses to let go. “If this ring is what you say it is, then the right hands are yours. Not mine.”
“Kid, you might know something that could help us figure this thing out,” Stark counters. “Don’t you want to know why it was given to you?”
My words won’t come. The truth is, at this moment, there’s nothing I want more. Even though I finally know the ring’s purpose, I feel like the discovery has only created more questions. Why do I have it? Who gave it to me? Am I a part of some plan that I’ll never know?
Why me?
But if there’s a chance for me to give this ring up and walk away, I have to take it. I want nothing to do with this world of ancient powers and magical stones. Even if that world has all of the answers.
“I wanted slumber parties,” I mumble. “Not bullet wounds.” I tug at the ring again, and this time, it loosens. It starts to slide up my finger, and with each inch it moves, all I feel is relief.
“I’m not so sure you should take that off,” Bruce warns. “We don’t know what it’s capable of yet.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” I say, pulling the ring off with one final tug. The place where it lived on my hand feels cold and empty. Lighter. Free.
I look up at Stark. “Here. It’s yours.”
I toss the ring towards him. Time seems to slow down as it leaves my hand, but I’m not quite sure why. Maybe it’s my mind reacting to the final piece of my previous life flying away.
But then it’s in the air, and something in my chest shrivels up. An uncanny wave of fear brushes over me, like a frigid gust of wind. The hairs on my body stand up, and somehow, I immediately realize what a huge mistake I’ve made.
Don’t take off the ring.
A gasp forces its way into my lungs. Every fiber of my being is lit on fire by a foreign feeling that I can’t explain. My mind screams warnings, and a purple explosion tilts the world on its axis.