I
Peter may have been dead to the world, but New York still needed spider-man. So Peter went out craft store hopping until he found some blue and red spandex, a sewing machine, and some black fabric for the spider design. He had tried to continue using either of the Stark suits, but they didn't recognize him anymore, so he was back to basics for now. Going back to his apartment was always hard because it reminded him of just how lonely he was. Sure, he had a few pictures of May, Ned, and MJ, but none with him in them. No, he wasn't in any pictures anymore. Any pictures that used to have him in them had either vanished or he had disappeared from the picture like he’d never even been there. The pictures he did have he had taken from their old apartment before Happy had gotten there, or taken from his friends houses while they were out. (Was it really stealing if they were your best friends?) He may not be in the pictures, but having the little reminders that people did care about him helped, even if they didn't remember him anymore. Even so, all Peter felt was empty. A hollow emptiness that was going to swallow him whole.
He had no one.
Tony, May, and Ben? Dead.
Ned, MJ, and Happy? They’d forgotten he existed.
The only thing he had left to hold on to was Spider-man, so he dragged himself out of bed and got to work.
A week later, his new suit was finished. He had barely left his dingy apartment except for when he needed to get more supplies or when his stomach reminded him to eat. The suit was a little rough around the edges, between the tech he had managed to salvage from the Stark Suits and Peter's formerly sub-par but now halfway decent sewing skills. It would do for now though.
What he needed was a job. He was currently living off what cash May had kept in their apartment and what he had been able to withdraw from May’s bank account before Happy had closed it. Not nearly enough to last him longer than a month or two between New York rent costs and his superhuman eating habits.
Hell, maybe he’d apply to Stark Industries.
Not today though. Today, he was going out as Spider-man. He felt the slightest touch of excitement at the thought of going out again. This was the first time he had felt anything other than despair and anger since May died and the world had forgotten his existence. That good feeling was trampled very soon after he went out by the sheer amount of crime he saw.
The first crime he stopped was an armed robbery that left him with a graze from a bullet wound along his arm. Since he was still re-adjusting to not having any technology support other than his web shooters. The second crime was an attempted child abduction. Apparently the kid's dad was not happy that his custody rights had been revoked after a few domestic violence incidents.
After that, any remaining excitement from going out again dissolved and the pain and loneliness set in once again. He was out to stop crime, this wasn't an after school sport where it didn't matter if he put in any effort or not. This was life and death, and not just for him but for everyone that he saved and everyone he didn't. He barely even noticed or cared that he was moving to more physical means of stopping people, moving away from relying on his web shooters and breaking more bones.
A few hours in though, he began to realize what he was doing.
By the time he even realized what was happening, the man he was stopping was already unconscious and looked half-dead. Blood covered his head and chest. He looked down at himself and saw the suit looked like he had just committed murder, with blood spattered everywhere.
The woman he had saved was still sobbing, but her breath caught once she saw what had happened. Peter told her to call the cops and asked her if she wanted him to stay with her while they waited. The woman nodded even though he could practically feel the fear radiating off of her, so Peter guided her to a less dirty part of the alley and sat with her while she called the cops and waited for them to arrive. Once Peter saw the blue and red lights, he said goodbye to the woman and swung up to the rooftop. He heard her thank you echo in his ears for the next hour.
When he got back to his apartment, he shucked off the suit and dumped it on the floor before immediately getting in the shower. The barely healed graze from the bullet that he had forgotten about burned under the water that he had turned up as hot as it could go, but he didn't care. He needed to get the feeling of the blood off of him. His knuckles were bruised and cut but healing fast, and before he even got out of the shower, the only remnant of the night was the slimy feeling in his gut that now sat beside his never ending emptiness. After a dinner of instant mac and cheese, he tossed and turned before finally falling asleep around 3AM.
Waking up the next morning was a challenge in and of itself. He felt sick about what he had done to that man, even if he was a horrible person. Beating people to the cusp of death was not his MO. Spider-man was a friendly neighborhood vigilante, he webbed people up and left notes for cops. He didn't leave victims broken in alleys for the police to find when they arrived.
It would probably help him to subdue criminals if he actually had some type of self defense training though. Relying on brute strength and webs wouldn't always work out for him. He had loved Mr. Stark, but all Tony had done was give him a fancy suit and access to technology.
Which was a lot, and Peter was grateful for everything Mr. Stark had given him, but what he hadn't learned was self defense, or how to punch correctly, or how to subdue someone without seriously hurting them. Peter shook the thought from the front of his mind and focused on cleaning and repairing the suit to go out again tonight.
There wasn't really any crime going on in his usual areas, just a car thief and an attempted mugger, so he swung a little farther away from his usual territory and managed to stop a much more violent mugger before he realized he'd stumbled into Hell's kitchen.
Oh well, he figured, might as well stop some crime here too. But as the night wore on, his spidey-sense started going crazy. Someone was watching and following him, but when he looked around, nobody else was on the rooftops or anywhere else in his sightlines. When he tried to stop a fourth attempted mugger, (seriously did people in the Kitchen really have nothing better to do??) someone had already beaten him to it.
Not just anyone though.
Daredevil.
He was struggling to keep his cool. Daredevil was the first powered person to make a difference in the community, and he was astonished that he was actually seeing Daredevil in action with his own eyes. This guy was the original New York Vigilante, and Peter had idolized him since he had first popped up fighting crime. So, naturally, Peter watched Daredevil take down the mugger and tie him up (not too gently either) before telling the almost-victim that he should call the police. The man nodded quickly and Daredevil melted into the shadows before the cops showed up.
“Oh my God Ned would freak out if he knew I saw Daredevil in action” he whispered before he remembered that Ned didn't remember him and never would.
“Who is Ned?” a deep voice said from behind him. Peter spun around in shock to see Daredevil standing not 15 feet from where he crouched. Jeez, this dude was sneaky.
Peter sighed and responded with “He was my best friend. He doesn't know I exist anymore though so I guess it doesn't really matter that he would be ecstatic that I got to meet you,” because what the hell, might as well overshare with the Devil.
Daredevil cocked his head, seemingly confused by that comment, but didn't push.
“How old are you,” he asked instead.
“20”
“Liar”
How in the hell did he know that? Fine, whatever, it didn't matter anyway.
“17,” he replied and somehow Daredevil knew he was telling the truth this time.
“I heard about that guy you beat up yesterday. Sounded more like something someone from my crew would do. Are you doing alright, kid?”
And that was the final straw. Peter started crying, and in less than a minute it had progressed into shaking, racking sobs. Daredevil looked a bit taken aback by this but held his ground and listened to what Peter had to say.
“I used to have people that I cared about. But they're all dead now. Either that or they don't remember me. I can't tell which hurts more sometimes. Knowing they're gone forever or seeing them on the street or in a coffee shop and not knowing how to act because to me they're my best friends but to them I'm just a random guy. And then I hate myself because of course it's better that they're alive but it just hurts all over again every time I see them. And my suit doesn't even recognize me so I can't help as many people and I can't get more tech because I lost my internship due to the fact that nobody knows I exist and I don’t even really know how to fight properly.” He paused to catch his breath and the tears just kept on coming. God this was so embarrassing. Here he was on the verge of another breakdown in front of Daredevil. The guy was notorious for Not Doing Emotions. (Angry didn't really count) But Peter was pleasantly surprised at how after his knees gave out, Daredevil came over and sat next to him.
They sat for a few minutes, not saying a word, with the only sound being the occasional sniffle from Spidey as his tears subsided. Finally, Daredevil broke the silence.
“Sounds like you've been through a lot, kid.”
“Understatement of the decade. And don’t call me kid.”
“Wanna learn how to fight, Kid?”
Peter whipped his head toward Daredevil, choosing to ignore the fact he was still calling him a kid. “You’d teach me? Why?”
“Because you sound like you don't have anyone to take care of you, and everyone in our line of work needs someone. I learned that one the hard way. If you don't have anyone, you get killed, and I know that from personal experience. So what do you say?”
“Alright, yeah that would be amazing, thank you so much. Please teach me how to fight.”
----------------
Daredevil told Peter to meet him at an address deep in Hell's Kitchen at 10 PM the next night and Peter had almost responded by saying he had to be back by midnight because it was a school night, but had stopped himself just in time once he remembered that there would be no more high school because Peter Parker didn't exist anymore. So he’d said yes, of course he would be there because this was DAREDEVIL and Peter needed something to look forward to in his now miserable life.
When he woke up, it was already 11 AM but hey, that was one of the perks of not existing. He no longer needed to wake up at the crack of dawn after a long night patrolling to go to school. Once he dragged himself out of bed he managed to eat half a package of eggos (he really did need a job) and drank half a jug of orange juice. Not the healthiest breakfast, but it was the best low budget option that a 17 year old could find. His eyes fell on the GED test study guide he’d haphazardly thrown in one of the corners of the room. He knew what he was going to do today.
After looking over the study guide, he felt quite confident in his ability to pass the test with flying colors. The english section might be a little tricky, but the STEM and history sections would be a breeze. Interning with Tony Stark and doing history homework with Steve Rogers had made him quite proficient in those areas of study. So, he signed up for a test date (it was like $140 for the test, jeez people why is it so expensive to get a certificate that proved you were smart even though you didn’t finish high school) and that was when it hit him.
He would never finish high school.
He would never go to MIT with Ned and MJ like they planned.
He would never have Ned as his ‘guy in the chair’ again.
He would never be able to finally tell MJ he loved her.
He would never see May again.
Ever.
Why was his life in ruins? Was Spider-man really public enemy #1? At this point he might as well have been. Everyone close to him was dead, or would be if he let them back in. Ned and MJ had said they had no regrets, but being his friend put them in so much danger and cost them so many opportunities. He just couldn’t bring himself to tell them again.
But who knows, maybe MJ would figure it out again.
He shook his head as if he was shaking off these thoughts. No, he couldn’t wish that burden on her again. He went back to busying himself with studying grammar and before he knew it, it was time to train with the Devil.
Peter really hadn’t known what to expect from the meeting place the Devil had chosen, but what he hadn’t expected was an old boxing gym in the heart of Hell’s kitchen. He had been thinking more along the lines of an alley, a rooftop, or a really sketchy abandoned warehouse. The boxing gym looked like it had been a nice place before it was shut down for whatever reason. Daredevil kinda just melted out of the shadows right on time. He was wearing his old black suit, not the new red Devil one. It was really creepy how he just appeared like that. Peter knew exactly how he had been nicknamed the Devil. He was super quiet and stealthy with a really deep voice, oh and the whole leaving people half dead in alleys on a regular basis probably helped with that reputation. Daredevil cocked his head like he was a little kid trying to hear what his parents were talking about in the next room.
“You’re not scared of me.”
“I’m really, really strong.”
“How strong is ‘really strong’ on a 17 year olds scale?”
Peter thought about that for a minute.
“Uhhh…. A building fell on me once and I had to lift a few tons of concrete to get out from under it?”
Daredevil whistled. “You know, I had a building fall on me once too. I got out through a drainage pipe though, I don’t have super strength.” Peter tucked that piece of information away for later examination as he got in the ring with the Devil. “Now, let’s teach you how to fight”
Peter LOVED training with Daredevil. So much so that they now meet up every other night to train. About two weeks in, Daredevil asked for his phone number in case he had to cancel and Peter decided it was time for some explanations. He pulled off his mask, but the Devil didn’t seem to notice or care other than a slight inclination of his head in Peter's direction. Peter took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the mat.
“So I told you that I didn’t have anyone,” Peter began, hating how his voice quivered, as Daredevil padded over on his near-silent feet and sat down next to him and nodded. “Well that was kinda a recent development. Long story short, my identity was revealed and then my friends were rejected from college because of me so I tried to fix it but accidentally ripped the multiverse apart and then bad people started leaking into our universe and one of them killed my aunt.”
“Any specific reason they went after your aunt and not your parents?” Daredevil interrupted.
“Well both my parents are dead and so is my uncle so yeah. It was because she was my only family left,” Peter continued quietly. He could feel a few tears slipping out already. “But then two other me’s from alternate universes showed up and helped me send them back. By then though, the boundaries between universes were getting really thin and the only way to close them was for Dr. Strange to make everyone forget that Peter Parker, oh thats my name by the way, ever existed. I only had enough time to say goodbye to my best friend and my girlfriend before he cast the spell and now I literally don’t exist in any system, computer, picture, or memory anymore. Which brings me back to my point, which was that I don't have a phone because I'm 17 with no ability to procure or pay for one since nobody, except for you now, knows that I exist.” And with that, Peter started crying in earnest. Daredevil put his arm over his shoulder and let him cry.
“Ok Peter, how do you feel about meeting some other vigilantes?”
“What do you mean?”
“I know some people. People who can help you train your fighting skills, people who can patch you up when needed, people who can support you. If you want, I can introduce you to them. I’m not trying to replace your friends, but this job means that you need a support system or you will not last long. I’ll still train you even if you don’t want to meet them, but kid I don’t want you to end up like I almost have many many times.”
Peter didn’t have to think it over for long, he wasn’t dumb, he knew he couldn’t do this alone. “Yeah, I would love to meet your friends,” he said finally, wiping off his tears before looking back over at Daredevil, who had taken off his mask at some point in the last thirty seconds. Peter was taken aback that Daredevil trusted him enough to reveal his identity to him as DD held out his hand.
“Nice to meet you Peter Parker, I’m Matt Murdock”