Chapter 16
The smell of something delicious was already wafting through the hall when I exited the elevator onto the sixth floor. I knew Matt said he was making dinner for me tonight, something I knew he hadn't done in a long time himself. After learning his big secret I now fully understood exactly why he was always too busy to cook. As I headed down the hall, closer to his apartment, I felt myself getting hungrier just smelling what he was making.
I knocked on his door, waiting apprehensively for him to answer. I had my backpack slung on my back and I was anxiously fingering the straps of it as I waited for him. I was nervous for tonight and Matt had known, which was one of the reasons why he'd wanted to make dinner for me in the first place.
When the door finally swung open, Matt was standing there with a white towel slung over his rumpled light blue dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up along his forearms as usual and his tie slightly undone. His lips swiftly curved into a sweet smile instantly, the corners of his eyes creasing as he fondly gazed down at me.
"Hey, Matty," I greeted him.
"Hey, sweetheart," he stepped aside, gesturing down the hall with his head. "Come in, I'm almost done with dinner."
I stepped inside past him, trying to decipher all the different scents in the air. As I passed by the couch, I began to slide the backpack from my back.
"Already had a glass of wine poured when I heard you enter the building," he said, placing a hand on the small of my back as he stepped around me. He grabbed a glass of white wine off the counter, no hand searching momentarily along it like I was used to, before he held it out towards me. "Pretty sure you'll like this one."
I swallowed hard, reaching out and accepting the glass. "Thanks, Matt," I said. I watched as he headed back to the stove, my eyes taking in the sight of everything he had cooking. "Not to sound unappreciative, because I certainly am appreciative of the effort you put in here, but you didn't have to do all this for me, Matt."
He glanced over his shoulder from his place at the stovetop where I saw he was searing two pieces of salmon. "You're worth it, sweetheart. Have you tried the wine? Should pair well with the salmon."
My attention shifted down to the glass in my hands. I swirled the wine a moment, my stomach flipping anxiously as I did. Bringing the glass to my lips I took a sip of it. My eyes widened in surprise. "Shit, this is good," I told him. “What is it?”
He chuckled, glancing over his shoulder again as I made my way towards him. "It’s a fancy chardonnay from Argentina,” he answered. “I got the good stuff for you.”
I placed a hand on his shoulder, leaning in and planting a kiss to his cheek. He grinned wider at the gesture and I felt a warmth grow in my chest.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I murmured.
“Like I already said,” he told me, his sightless gaze darting up and landing along my chin, a heartwarming smile on his face, “you’re worth it.”
"You need help with anything?" I asked him, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind my ear and glancing away.
"No, I've got it," he assured me. "You just relax and grace me with your wonderful presence."
"Turning up all the charm tonight, I see," I teased him as I stepped back, leaning a hip against the counter. "So what all do we have going on here?"
"Nothing too crazy, I got back from the office just a bit ago. But there's asparagus roasting in the oven," Matt told me, his focus on the salmon he was cooking, "brown rice in the rice cooker–and it's been so long since I've used that thing that it's embarrassing how long it took me to find it again," he said with a chuckle. "And obviously salmon with a lemon garlic sauce."
"Well it smells amazing," I replied, enjoying the very domestic sight of him cooking before me; he almost moved as if he wasn't even blind which was taking some getting used to. "I feel like your plan was to make me focus on my horrifying garlic breath and not the fact that you're going out as Daredevil tonight."
He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “No, not quite. More like trying to help you relax after your day before you stress over me,” he said. He glanced over at me, expression serious. “Which you really don’t need to do, I’ll be alright.”
Ducking my head, my eyes dropped to the glass of wine in my hands. Foggy and Karen’s words rang through my mind, reminding me that Matt had in fact had an entire building fall on him and they’d thought he was dead not too long ago.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning slightly.
I shook my head sharply, a strained smile on my lips. “Nothing. I’ll grab some plates. Set the table,” I said quickly.
Spinning on my heel, I set down my glass of wine and reached up into the cabinet next to his sink to pull down some plates. I’d been in his apartment more than enough times to know exactly where everything was and how to put everything back in its exact place for him to easily find later.
I began to set the table, moving our glasses of wine to the places that we usually sat when we’d had takeout for dinner here many times before. When I’d finished, Matt had finished plating everything, already bringing it over to the table. I made my way over to my chair, about to reach a hand out to slide it back when Matt’s hand darted forward and grasped my wrist. He tugged me gently in towards him, my brows rising questioningly as I looked up at him.
“Was too busy to properly greet you earlier,” he murmured.
His hand released my wrist, reaching up and gently grabbing my chin as he leaned in. Gradually he closed the distance between our mouths, his warm tongue briefly darting out along my bottom lip before his lips closed around it. My eyelids dropped, a soft sigh leaving me as I kissed him back. My hands instinctively reached out, sliding their way up his chest to grasp his shoulders. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of kissing him. A moment later he pulled away, a faint smile on his mouth.
“Now we can eat,” he said, his face just inches from mine.
I felt lightheaded, my eyes blinking a few times as my brain tried to take a moment to restart. My hands fell back to my sides as Matt’s hand released my chin, instead reaching out to draw my chair back, the sound bringing me to the present. I sat, sliding back into the table and immediately taking a drink of wine. I wasn’t sure if it was the heat from the kitchen, the wine in my system kicking in, Matt’s overwhelming charm and just how damn good he looked in a domestic setting with his undone tie, or a combination of everything, but my body temperature felt like it was elevating rapidly.
I was grateful to focus on dinner now, giving my hands something else to do before I tried to take things too far. Tonight was our first night together since I had come over on Sunday to talk and had stayed the night cuddling in bed with him. I wasn’t planning to have sex tonight either; I was hoping I could make it through my first experience of having to wait around for Matt to come back home alive before we took that next step. It didn’t mean I wasn’t going insane, my body feeling on edge with every kiss and little touch from him making me feel like my resolve was going to disappear.
As I swallowed the first bite of salmon, I shifted my attention to Matt beside me. “This is really good, Matt,” I praised him. “Why have you been hiding your culinary prowess from me all this time?”
He laughed and I swore I saw a faint tinge of pink on his cheeks. “Thank you, Em. I’m glad you’re enjoying it. And as for hiding it?” He shrugged slightly. “I just usually didn’t have the time to cook between the firm and the…late night activities. Also sort of hard to pretend I can’t exactly see anything at all while trying to cook things the way I prefer to. Which just becomes frustrating. But I do owe you for the many nights you cooked for me over the years, sweetheart.”
“You don’t owe me anything,” I told him, waving a dismissive hand. “I liked cooking for you. You always gave useful criticism and never complained that anything was weird.”
“You’re an amazing cook, Em,” he complimented me. “Really. I always felt honored that you invited me over so much for dinner.”
Heat rose to my cheeks and I turned my attention down to my plate. “I’ve always loved cooking,” I admitted quietly. “Weeknights it was how Ez and I spent time with our mom. She was usually always so busy working, but meals when she was home were always a big thing. Food was–was always a big thing with her. Meant something to be able to feed the people you care about,” I told him. A sad smile slid along my face, a dull pain hitting me in the chest. “Makes me still feel like she’s with me when I cook,” I whispered.
“You never told me that before,” he said softly.
I cleared my throat, spearing another piece of salmon with my fork. “Ez and I don’t like to talk about her much,” I murmured. “It always…hurt too much after the cancer took her.” I swallowed hard, fighting back the unexpected well of emotions.
Matt smiled gently, his hand setting his fork down and easily finding my wrist beside him at his round table. He squeezed my wrist gently, a comforting gesture that had a small smile finding its way to my mouth. And then he released my wrist, returning to his dinner. I was appreciative of him not trying to force the topic. Instead, we ate in silence for a minute before the quiet began to bother me.
“How long do you usually go out for?” I asked him curiously. “So I know when my worrying is actually, you know, founded at that point.”
“Depends on what’s going on at night,” he answered me. “If there’s not much it’s usually just a couple of hours. Some nights there is a lot of activity and I might be out for a few hours.”
I chewed a bite of food, nodding quietly. This evening with Matt going out felt like it had been weighing on me the past two nights since he had first invited me over. He wanted to spend the evening with me after work, but he had planned to go out as Daredevil tonight. He’d hesitantly asked if I would be open to the idea of coming over and staying the night despite his late night excursion. He was hoping the nights he was still out being Daredevil that I’d be able to accept it and still spend evenings with him, ultimately accepting his other half while it was still actively a part of Matt’s life. And I had accepted his offer knowing this was part of dating Matt, but I’d been honest about how I’d be worrying about him the entire time.
“I’ll be okay, you don’t need to worry, Em,” he assured me. “You don’t need to wait up for me, either. You’re welcome to go to sleep whenever you’re tired. I’m not expecting you to wait for me.”
“I doubt I’ll be able to sleep while you’re gone,” I murmured. I saw the frown spread across his face and glanced away to my plate. "So you said you're not going into the office to work tomorrow?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah," he answered quickly. "Figured we could both sleep in tomorrow. Relax. Maybe you can get some work done here? Spend some more time together?"
I smiled, looking back at him. "That sounds nice."
As we finished up dinner, my nerves were picking back up knowing that Matt was about to leave. When he tried to clear the plates, I held out a hand immediately to stop him.
“Don’t worry about cleaning up,” I said. “I’ll take care of it all when you’re gone. I could use the distraction anyway.”
“I don’t want to leave you with this to clean, Em,” he told me.
“Seriously, Matt, it’ll be like you’re doing me a service,” I replied. “Otherwise I’ll spend the time you’re gone staring at my laptop pretending to work and just wondering if someone shot you or you’ve finally gotten arrested. Besides, you went through the trouble of making it after a long day, and your day still isn’t over, so let me deal with it.”
He hesitated for a moment before eventually sighing and setting the plate back down. I waved a hand at him.
“Go get ready, I’ll clear the table,” I assured him.
“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not cleaning my dishes,” he pointed out.
“I’m fine,” I said firmly.
With a huff Matt wandered off towards his bedroom and I focused on gathering up the plates and empty wine glasses. I spent a few minutes cleaning everything off at the sink, my mind focused on the task, until I heard his bedroom door slide back open. The sound caught my attention as I set a plate into the dishwasher, my attention shifting to Matt as he stepped out into the living room. I felt the breath catch in my throat as I straightened up, taking in the sight yet again of Matt in Daredevil’s suit. He was holding the helmet in his left hand as he apprehensively crossed the living room towards me. He paused just before the kitchen, shifting back and forth on his feet as he gazed back at me. I licked my lips nervously before padding along the floor carefully towards him.
He remained still as I approached him. One of my hands cautiously reached out and rested along the strange material of his armor along his chest. Matt’s head tilted to the side, his attention very much focused on me. Hesitantly my other hand landed on his chest beside it as I closed the distance between us, my hands sliding up to his shoulders and then snaking their way around his neck, pulling him into a hug. I felt his own arms wrap themselves around my back, tugging me into him.
“It’s still strange seeing you like this,” I admitted, burying my face into his neck. “Am I supposed to say good luck?” I asked him. “Or don’t get caught? Don’t let anyone shoot you?”
"How about," he said, his soft voice beside my ear, "I'll see you later?"
I exhaled a sharp breath, pulling back from the hug, my hands still resting on his shoulders. I nodded gently as I took in the sight of his eyes roaming my face.
"Okay," I said. "I'll see you later."
He smiled, leaning in and kissing my forehead. And then he stepped back, slipping the red helmet over his face. Staring at him now, I didn't know how I'd spent so many years unable to recognize the shape of Matt’s mouth on the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.
"I'll be back soon," he assured me. "Shouldn't be out late."
"Okay," I replied.
He sent me a hesitant smile before he turned, Daredevil's form stalking through Matt’s living room. The image was still strange to accept.
When he reached the bottom of the stairs in his living room, my feet abruptly rushed me forward across the room. The sound had him pause with one foot on the bottom step, his head turning over his shoulder in my direction. Wordlessly I tugged at his hand, pulling him towards me. He complied, taking his foot from the stairs and turning to face me. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling his head down towards mine. And then I was kissing him hard, eyes closed tight and hands locking around the back of his neck. I could feel the cold material of his helmet against my forehead. One of his gloved hands came up and gently cupped my cheek as he kissed me back, his mouth just as eager and almost reassuring in the way it moved.
I broke away, gazing into the red lenses of Daredevil's helmet. "I couldn’t let you leave without a kiss,” I whispered, watching the way his mouth curved into a smile. “Come back to me in one piece, Matty," I begged.
His gloved thumb stroked my cheek affectionately as he smiled back down at me. "I will, sweetheart. I'm looking forward to curling up in bed with you tonight too much not to."
I felt my heart jolt at his words, beating a bit faster. Matt made a noise of amusement, head tilting to the side.
"What's got your heart racing?" he asked.
"Just the knowledge that my Devil is really a cuddly teddy bear," I teased him, hands still wrapped around the back of his neck, gently stroking the strange material of his armor. "Honestly, I'd never have guessed that one with how you, you know, beat the shit out of bad guys and all."
Matt snorted loudly, shaking his masked head. "I don't know about being a cuddly teddy bear, sweetheart."
"Mmm, I think I know something about that after sharing a bed with you a few times now," I countered playfully. "You, Matty, are very cuddly. Though I'm certainly not complaining." My teasing grin faltered a beat later. "So I'll…be waiting for you to come back for those cuddles."
"I'll be back in a bit, Em," he promised.
He turned, my arms falling back to my sides as he headed back up the stairs to leave. I watched silently as he opened the door to his roof and slipped out. I sighed when the door closed behind him, my stomach swirling with nerves. And then my attention shifted to the rest of the dirty dishes in the kitchen as my waiting began.
Two and a half hours later it was nearing eleven at night. I was sitting cross-legged on the leather sofa, trying very hard to focus on editing the engagement session from Sunday evening. I had been incredibly distracted when I first began, my mind slipping back to Matt and constantly checking the time in the corner of my screen. I had barely been able to get any work done so I'd thrown on a calming playlist and turned it up, forcing the worrying thoughts from my mind as best as I could. That had worked for about an hour, but I'd spent this last hour checking the time and glancing at the door to the roof, waiting to see Matt walk through it. The nerves had returned to my stomach the later it got.
I knew it was probably a little ridiculous that I was worrying this much, but it was hard to picture my Matt going out and blindly jumping across roofs, intentionally getting into fist fights, and having people shoot at him. The thought of him returning bleeding out terrified me. And the thought of him not returning at all terrified me further.
I pulled off my glasses, running a hand over my face. My eyes were tired from staring at my laptop's screen on and off all day and I was beginning to contemplate attempting to get ready for bed. The only thing stopping me was that I had a feeling I would just be tossing and turning in his bed with nothing else to focus my attention on, unable to sleep until I knew he was home safe.
The sound of the roof door creaking open caught my attention and my eyes darted towards it. Matt was stepping inside still entirely clad as Daredevil. I tossed my glasses onto the coffee table, slamming my laptop closed as he descended the stairs two at a time.
Without hesitation I rose from the couch, maneuvering around the coffee table and immediately throwing my arms around him. His own arms quickly wrapped around me.
"Are you okay?" I asked him, quickly pulling back to inspect him myself.
He chuckled lightly, releasing one hand from around me to take the helmet from his head before tugging down the black material underneath. He was grinning and there was a slight sheen of sweat along his forehead, his hair a mess from the helmet.
"I'm fine, Em," he assured me, his gaze landing along my left shoulder. "The suit keeps me pretty safe and protected. No injuries tonight. Wasn't too much going on and…I was missing you."
I smiled softly, drawing myself back into his chest. "I missed you too," I told him.
"I could feel your nerves a few blocks away," he admitted. "Figured I'd come back."
"Sorry," I whispered.
"Hey," he said, gloved hand stroking my hair tenderly, "don't apologize. You're allowed to worry even if I wish you wouldn't."
My eyes closed for a minute, my body relaxing into his now that I knew he was home safe. I felt his nose nuzzle against my neck and I smiled.
"You want some help getting out of this thing?" I offered.
Matt snickered into my neck and my eyes opened at the sound.
"Been home barely five minutes and you're already trying to get me naked," he teased.
I pulled out of the embrace, lightly swatting his arm. He chuckled, his eyes crinkling as he looked towards me.
"I'll rescind my offer to help," I warned him.
He raised his hands in surrender, a boyish grin on his face. "Alright, I'll behave," he promised. "But yes, I wouldn't mind some help. There's a few zippers on this thing but even with those it's still pretty hard to pull off myself. Might be easier with help for once."
I stepped back, curiously examining the suit. My brows furrowed as my eyes scanned around his body. "Where the hell even are the zippers?" I asked him.
He dropped the helmet in his hand to the floor where it clattered for a moment before he began removing the gloves from his hands, tossing them to the floor next. And then I watched as his hands started undoing what apparently was a belt at the front of the suit, my head curiously tilting to the side as I watched him unfasten it.
"There's a zipper on the front of the chest," he explained, his hands working as he did. "Just under this chest piece. It’s kind of like a bullet proof vest; the belts on this side loosen it so I can unzip the suit underneath.”
I watched as he undid a few black straps on the side of the chest piece that I’d never paid that much mind to before. Then he slid his hand under where the chest armor was now open on one side, the distinct noise of a zipper sounding as he slid it down.
“Pants have two zippers hidden on the sides of the legs,” he explained, his hands removing the billy club holster strapped to his thigh, dropping that to the floor next beside the helmet and gloves. Then he began unzipping the two zippers that were indeed well-hidden on his thighs. “Just loosens the material enough so I can slide everything down.”
“Huh,” I responded, head still cocked to the side. “Good to know.”
Matt paused, his sightless eyes landing on me as he smirked. “And what’re you planning to use that knowledge for?”
I rolled my eyes, scoffing playfully. “In case your ass ever comes back and you can’t get out of it yourself,” I shot at him.
His expression softened, the smirk morphing into a faint smile. His eyes were gazing hopefully back towards me in the small distance between us. “You still planning to stick around for me then?” he asked, his tone almost nervous. “I didn’t scare you off tonight?”
“No, Matty,” I assured him, taking the two steps forward and reaching out, carefully tugging the material down as he slipped one arm slowly from a sleeve and then the other. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I tried hard to control my body as I helped him pull the red suit down his bare torso next. His muscled and scarred upper half was on full display, my face so close to his chest as I helped pull the suit down to his hips that I could feel the warmth of him and smell the faint scent of something like leather from his suit. But as I lowered before him, tugging the red and black material down his muscled and bare thighs, Matt only clad in black boxers and me suddenly aware of how close my face was to a particular part of his anatomy, I couldn’t help the arousal that began to build in me.
“Em,” Matt whispered, “I’m going to need you to behave or I won’t be able to.”
I cleared my throat, forcing my gaze to focus solely on his leg as I helped him step out of one side of the suit. Then I shifted a bit, helping him step out of the other side.
“I can’t exactly control my body’s natural reaction to you,” I muttered, rising back up to my feet with Daredevil’s empty suit in my hands. “And I also can’t believe I just helped the Devil out of his suit and it wasn’t for any of the reasons we always joked about.”
“There’s always a next time,” he teased, reaching out and taking the suit from me.
He wandered over to the closet on the far side of the room, opening the door. I watched as he pulled out his father’s old steamer trunk, and then saw him pull out the false bottom before folding up the suit and storing it inside. I bent down, grabbing the gloves, helmet, and billy clubs that had been dropped to the floor before carrying them over towards him.
“You’ve showed me this trunk before,” I told him. “Your dad’s things. This was here, just under it, all this time?”
“Yeah,” he answered, turning and accepting the items I handed him. “That night I showed them to you I was honestly tempted to show you this, too.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked.
Matt finished placing everything into the bottom of the trunk, turning at the waist to grab the false bottom and setting it back over his suit, hiding it again. And then he rose back up, turning around with a sad smile on his face.
“I didn’t know how to tell you without putting you in danger or hurting your feelings for lying for so long,” he answered. “I was too afraid to.” His head dropped down, his eyes landing on the floor as he looked away. “I’m still afraid you’re just going to decide to leave. I always destroy anything good in my life.”
Stepping forward, I tentatively encircled my arms around his waist, drawing my head in to rest along his bare chest. “I told you I’d try this with you, Matt,” I whispered. “That’s what I’m doing. You haven’t destroyed anything.”
His arms came up, wrapping themselves around my shoulders. I felt him place a kiss to the top of my head, my eyes closing at the touch.
“Thank you for staying,” he murmured.
I turned my head, planting a kiss to his bare chest just beside one of his scars. I felt his body shudder lightly at the contact before I pulled away. “Can we get to the cuddling in bed part now?” I asked him, looking up hopefully at him. “Because I’m pretty damn tired, I don’t know about you.”
He grinned, releasing me from his hold. “Yeah, we can get to the cuddling in bed part now. I’ve been looking forward to it all day,” he admitted.
Matt entwined his fingers with mine and gently pulled me along with him towards his bedroom. Happily I followed along beside him, my eyes straying over to his almost naked form as we crossed the living room.
“I can feel you staring,” Matt commented.
“Admiring, not staring,” I corrected, which elicited a chuckle from him. “So all of that,” I began, waving my free hand around in his general direction, “isn’t from working out, is it? It’s from what you do at night?”
“Mostly, yes,” he answered, leading me towards the bed in the dim light of his room. “But I do work out late at night sometimes at Fogwell’s. I’ve told you that.”
He released my hand and I dropped it down to the edge of the bed, using it to guide me around to the side of it as Matt made his way around to the other side. I pulled back the sheets and then stepped back, pulling my shirt off over my head before sliding my jeans off of my legs. Matt was already pulling the sheets up over himself on his side as I began to crawl onto the mattress beside him. The moment I was on my side, Matt was snaking an arm over my waist and tugging me in against himself. His large bare thigh gently wedged itself between my legs and I couldn’t help the faint giggle that came from me.
“What?” he asked, a smile in his voice.
My arm wrapped around his waist and I further pulled myself in flush against him, smiling as I rested my forehead against his bare chest. “My snuggly Devil,” I murmured, squeezing him lightly.
He huffed out a laugh before nuzzling his nose into the top of my hair, his lips brushing against my forehead as he spoke. “Alright, Em,” he whispered. “You caught me. Can I trust you to keep that secret?”
“Your secret is safe with me, Matty,” I promised him, eyes closing.
I felt his lips pull back into a smile against my forehead before I fell asleep.