Chapter 8
My hips shifted as I stirred awake–and then I froze. Matt was curled up on his side against my back, his body flush to the back of mine. His muscular arm was protectively draped over my hips, his hand having slid up beneath my shirt to rest along the skin just above my stomach and below my bra. One of his bare, very warm thighs was sandwiched pleasantly between my legs. His shirtless chest was pressed to my back and his head must’ve been just behind mine with the way his rhythmic exhalations kept brushing over my bare shoulder where my shirt sleeve had ridden up.
And there was something very solid poking my ass.
I bit my lip, eyes still closed. Matt was hard–very much so. And it was his hard cock pressing itself into my right ass cheek that I couldn't get myself to stop focusing on. I winced, internally groaning. He sounded like he was still asleep behind me at least, but I didn't know if I should try to slip out of bed so he wouldn't be embarrassed or if it was ridiculous to make a thing out of this.
But the more I laid awake, focusing on the feel of his own arousal pressed into me, the more turned on I was becoming. My legs lightly squeezed around his, trying to adjust, and then immediately regretted it when the friction of the movement felt a little too good.
I turned my face, burying it further into the pillow. Matt's hand up my shirt shifted, sliding downwards along my stomach and pausing with his pinky just brushing beneath the waistband of my cotton shorts. My eyes clenched closed tighter.
But I couldn’t help it when my mind imagined him sliding his hand down lower into my shorts, wondering how it would feel to have his fingers touching me soft and warm first thing in the morning. Having them carefully sliding into my underwear and gliding back and forth between my folds, the calloused pad of his thumb rubbing lazy circles along my clit before a couple of his thick fingers dipped into my cunt. I imagined he'd fuck me slow with them, taking his time, achieving a result that so far only myself and my vibrator had been able to.
I bit down harder on my lip when I felt a dampness growing between my thighs.
And then I wondered what it would be like if he woke up and I crawled between his muscled thighs, tugged down his boxer briefs and took him into my mouth. Wondered what sounds he'd make right now, first thing in the morning, just barely awake. Wondered what it would feel like to finally grab the firm ass I’d spent too many nights at Josie’s trying to sneak peaks at as he bent over the pool table, dress pants pulled taut.
My right hand gripped a fistful of his silk sheets. I needed to stop this. Right now was definitely not the time to be thinking about that. I was surprised I’d even found myself getting so worked up–it had been months since I’d truly felt this way. Months since I’d even gotten off. Depression and grief had taken my sex drive with it–until this very moment, it seemed.
Matt's hand on my stomach gripped tight, securing me closer to himself and pressing his hard cock further into my ass. I bit back a moan as his thigh shifted between my legs.
And then I realized he was stirring awake and I felt my body freeze all over again. He took a few moments, shifting and grumbling, before I felt him suddenly go rigid and stop moving behind me. A sharp inhale came next, immediately followed by what sounded like a long, low hiss. He promptly shifted his hips from me and in turn removed his erection from pressing so firmly into my ass.
Figuring I couldn’t pretend to be asleep and wanting to get past whatever was about to happen next, I inhaled a shuddering breath and spoke.
“Morning, Matt,” I said, my voice coming out a little more strained than I intended.
I felt his arm tense around me briefly. “Shit, Em, I’m sorry,” he muttered, his own voice coming out sounding tight.
“Don’t apologize. I mean–” I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the way he was sliding his thigh out slowly from between my legs, the muffled sounds of some sort of rumble coming from him behind me as he did, “–you can’t…can’t help it.” I licked my lips, trying to force my breathing to even back out.
His hand ripped away from my stomach, my skin going cold almost instantly at the loss of contact. At this point he’d completely withdrawn from touching me entirely and I wasn’t sure if I was upset or glad. I still wasn’t intending to have sex anytime soon.
Cautiously I rolled onto my back, my head turning along the pillow to look over at Matt. He was lying on his back, his eyes staring blankly up at the ceiling. The muscles in his jaw were ticking repeatedly, his body tensed. My eyes couldn’t avoid lowering, taking in the sight of the tented sheets. My bottom lip rolled back between my teeth at the sight, another wave of arousal washing over me. I saw Matt’s hand beside me roughly clench the sheets as he tried to breathe in and out carefully.
“Matt?” I asked gently.
He was oddly silent just laying beside me. Anxiety started to slowly creep in, replacing a bit of the initial arousal I’d felt. Was it not me who’d gotten him in this state? Was that why he was acting so strange and closed off?
Heart sinking a little, I cleared my throat as I began to sit up on the bed. “I uh, I’ll go…” I muttered uncomfortably.
Flinging the sheets off of me, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and rose.
“Em, wait,” he called out.
I hesitated, turning to look over my shoulder at him. He was sitting half upright now, his legs raised so his erection was no longer visible under the sheets. There was a wounded look on his face as he stared back at me, one of his hands pulling at the strands of his dark hair.
“You didn’t–didn’t do anything wrong,” he said. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you wanted to–to wait. For that.”
“Matt, you don’t need to apologize for an erection,” I told him. “It’s not like you were pressuring me or something. You were literally asleep.” I bit my lip, my attention shifting towards the living room. “But I should still probably head home. I might just…go change real quick in the bathroom. I don’t exactly want to head home in my pajamas.”
He nodded, a tight smile spreading on his face. “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll uh, I’ll walk you out.”
I pressed my sweaty palms into the fabric of my shorts as I headed out of his room, making my way into the living room where I’d left my large purse when I came over last night. I grabbed it from the floor and made my way into the bathroom. Quickly I changed, stuffing my previous clothes back into the bag and taking a quick look at myself in his mirror. Before I left, I tried to take a deep breath to steady myself. Trying to calm down and push the thoughts of what I’d like to go back in the bedroom and do from my mind. This was not the time.
As I exited the bathroom and headed into his living room, I saw Matt was in just a pair of sweatpants, his erection only partially present at this point as he leant against the armrest of his sofa. My jaw tightened as I tried hard to ignore it even though I knew he couldn’t actually see me staring. I hesitated a few feet from him, both of my hands nervously toying with the ends of my hair. Would it be weird to hug him goodbye? Kiss him?
“Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” I said instead, shifting on my feet before him.
“Of course,” he answered back. “You’re always welcome here.”
I frowned when he made no move towards me. Sighing, I turned and shuffled towards his front door. I unlocked it, pulling it open and about to step into the hall until Matt’s hand grabbed my wrist and I stopped. He tugged me back into the apartment and into him, swiftly seizing my face in his hands and crashing his lips onto mine. A gasp of surprise came from my mouth and his own swallowed down the sound. And then too soon he released me and stepped back, his hand curled into a tight fist against the wall beside him. The whiplash of my own arousal was starting to drive me insane at this point.
“We’re still on for this afternoon?” Matt asked hopefully.
“Uh, yeah,” I answered him, trying to recover. “I uh, I’ll talk to you later?”
He nodded in response, flashing me another strained smile before I turned and headed out the door and down the hallway.
By the time I got back to my apartment I was starving. I'd barely eaten over the past two days, too busy photographing at the weddings I'd been working and trying to sleep afterwards. And after losing my appetite last night when I'd come home, I hadn't eaten to make up for that like I'd intended to.
I threw some bread into my toaster oven quickly, checking my emails on my half-dead phone as it toasted. I responded to a couple of emails since I’d been busy the two days prior as I made my toast and inhaled it rapidly, my stomach growling.
My body was aching terribly from work when I had finished my breakfast. I headed down the hall towards my bedroom feeling the soreness of my back, my muscles protesting with almost every movement. I hated how worn out I felt after multiple weddings, I always felt useless and run down the day after.
Once in my room, I began rifling through my closet and drawers for clean clothes before heading towards my bathroom and starting up the shower. I brushed my teeth as the water warmed, my arm shaking lightly, the muscles still fatigued from using a heavy camera for two days straight.
When I finished with my teeth, steam was already slowly filling my bathroom. I undressed and slid back the glass door, sighing contentedly as I stepped under the warm spray. My sore muscles relished the way the water soothed them–though not as well as Matt’s hands had last night.
And just like that I was thinking about this morning again. About waking up to the feel of his hard cock pressed into me. Remembering the feel of his warm body wrapped around mine, his hand almost reaching up under my bra. My eyelids slowly lowered as I bit my lip, recalling the thought of how tortured he looked lying in his bed, tented sheets below him, unable to relieve the tension in himself with me there.
My tongue ran along my lips next; I wondered if he’d waited until I’d gone home. Maybe crawled into the soft silk sheets again and pressed his nose into the pillow I’d slept on. A soft moan left my lips as I felt my arousal returning. I imagined him palming himself over his boxers, his erection steadily returning as he thought of me. And then my breath hitched as I recalled that tortured expression, imagining it on his face as he slid his hand into his underwear, carefully touching himself. My hand slid its way downwards, my fingers and palms gliding down the wet expanse of my stomach as a sharp need arose low inside of me. I imagined him taking off his boxers and stroking himself, making that same rumbling noise he’d made when he’d slid his thigh out from between mine. Lip caught between my teeth, my fingers slid back and forth between my own slick folds, my body riled at the image my mind was creating.
I imagined Matt on his bed thinking about me as he touched himself, his cock dripping pre-cum as he panted heavily tangled in his sheets. I began to pant harder myself, my fingers gently gliding inside of me. I imagined his head rolling back to bury his face in the pillow, a tight, pained expression there as he worked himself up further.
And then I tried to imagine his hands touching me instead of my own. Wondered what his hot breath would feel like along my thighs as his fingers slid in and out of my cunt. My forehead fell against the tiled wall of the shower, sharp whines leaving my mouth as I began to pump my own fingers inside of myself. I felt that coil tightening like a spring ready to snap deep down in me, a burning need that had been neglected for too long. My teeth grit down as I felt myself getting closer, imagining Matt’s tongue just barely licking gentle laps against my clit, bringing me closer and closer to the edge. Wondered how the stubble of his beard would feel between the soft skin of my thighs. My mouth fell open, a soft whimper escaping. I wondered how it would feel when he fucked his fingers so deep inside me that he hit that spot as his tongue continued lapping against me. My fingers pumped a little faster, my knees beginning to tremble. Soft whines filled the shower now as I tried to imagine the sounds he would make as my hands wound their way through his hair, pulling it.
The moment I pictured him moaning my name, low and gravely with his face contorted in pleasure between my thighs, I was crying out. My body shook against the tiled wall having completely fallen over the edge of my orgasm as Matt’s name flew from my throat like a strangled cry. For a moment I stayed like that; lightheaded, breathing heavily, my eyes shut tight. When I recovered I slid my fingers out of myself slowly.
It had been months since I'd touched myself after everything that had happened. Months since I'd wanted to–needed to. While I'd thought about sleeping with a stranger here and there, or on occasion tried to get myself in the mood, nothing had really gotten me to this point. But somehow spending time with Matt had me feeling like I was returning to myself again–had me feeling like I was taking control of my life and my body again.
As I stood there panting hard, water spraying down my back with my forehead resting along the tiled wall, I wondered if Matt had touched himself while thinking about me once I’d left this morning. If he'd been so worked up–so turned on by me–that he couldn't resist.
Because I found myself hoping he had.
I had one earbud in my left ear, my music playing quietly with my legs crossed on Matt's leather sofa and my laptop in my lap. I was organizing the final edits of a wedding from a few weeks ago, glad I'd managed to finally finish it. Matt was sitting mere inches beside me, his feet firmly on the ground as he was typing on his own laptop in his lap.
We had agreed to work next to each other again for a bit this afternoon so we could see each other, this time at Matt's instead of a coffee shop. Our plan was to finish a few items on our to-do lists before making dinner together tonight and relaxing. So far we had been sitting here working together for a little over an hour, both deeply focused on our work once we'd gotten into it. Occasionally I'd lean over and rest my head against the side of Matt's shoulder while my program was renumbering photos or pasting in a batch of photos from another folder, closing my eyes and resting them. Other times Matt would exhale a loud huff, rubbing his temples before planting a kiss on my cheek or my shoulder, taking a brief respite from whatever he was focused on to give me attention.
I was adding in the last folder of photos, waiting for them to paste over for a few minutes, when Matt closed his laptop beside me. He leant forward to place it on his coffee table, my eyes following his movements.
"All done?" I asked him.
He turned, flashing me a grin. "Yeah, thankfully. How's your organization going?"
My attention returned towards my screen. "Few more minutes and then I have a handful of photos to filter in and I'm done with this wedding."
His hand landed on my knee, just beside my laptop. My eyes were drawn straight to it, remembering so many things I'd been imagining that hand doing earlier this morning. I felt heat rise up my neck, flooding my cheeks.
"You–" he cleared his throat,"–want a beer?"
"Yeah," I answered him, the word sounding more like an exhale.
Matt got to his feet, padding along the floor to the kitchen. I forced the thoughts from this morning from my mind and turned my attention to the screen as I pulled the earbud out of my ear. I began organizing the last folder as I heard Matt opening the beer bottles behind me. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I absently slipped my hand down, pulling it out of my pants pocket. I finished what I was working on and glanced down at the text.
4:53PM I miss you Emmy bear
I froze when I saw the text from Justin. The color drained from my face as I sat there staring at the words on my phone’s screen. Panic welled in me as I remembered how Daredevil had told me he'd come to my apartment last night while I'd been working a wedding, banging on my door looking for me. I tossed the phone onto the coffee table and away from me.
Matt rounded the corner of the couch, two beers in his hand and a slight frown on his face.
"Something wrong?" he asked curiously.
I accepted the beer he handed to me, taking a long pull from it as Matt sat down beside me. Concern etched itself along his features as he continued to focus on me, expectantly waiting for a response.
"Justin texted me again," I said.
Matt tensed beside me, his left eye almost twitching at the information. "What'd he say?" he asked, his tone shifting to something dark I'd never heard come from him before.
"Just that he…he missed me," I said hesitantly.
Matt sat beside me on the couch, tentatively wrapping an arm around my waist. Slowly I closed my laptop, no longer in the mood to finish the wedding. I slid it onto the coffee table along with my beer next to Matt's laptop. Immediately I curled into Matt's side, wrapping my own arms around his waist as I drew my legs up onto the couch, resting them along the side of his thigh. I buried my face into his shoulder, taking comfort in his warm presence beside me.
"I can help you with a restraining order," he told me gently. "If you save the texts he sends. Any voicemails. Call the police if he ever shows up at your place–the reports will be helpful."
I trembled at the thought of him showing up again at my place–especially if I was actually home. Matt reached across to set his beer on the coffee table before placing his hands on my hips and carefully pulling me into his lap.
"It'll be alright, Emily," he assured me. One of his hands began stroking its way down my hair, the motion soothing. "I won't let him hurt you. I promise."
"I don't get why he won't leave me alone," I breathed out, my hands toying with the hem of Matt’s dark shirt. "He cheated on me constantly. Why won't he just leave me alone? What the hell could he want?"
"The chase," Matt said quietly. "He wants what he no longer has and the thrill of trying to get it back is probably what has him chasing after you."
"I don't see how he doesn't realize that's not romantic," I whispered, my hands still twisting the soft fabric of his shirt. "It's disturbing."
"Because he's a selfish person, Em," Matt told me. "And he's stupid. This is the one time you weren't waiting around for him to come back to you. Probably always expected you would no matter what he did."
"Because I was stupid," I murmured.
Matt's arms tightened around me. "No, don't say that," he urged. "You were hopeful but your hope was misplaced in him."
My head shifted, my eyes gradually making their way up towards Matt's. His gaze was focused along my throat, an intense almost devout expression on his face. One of my hands dropped the hem of his shirt, carefully snaking its way up to rest along the side of his face. His stubble rasped pleasantly along the palm of my hand and pads of my fingers as I gently stroked his cheek. His head instinctively turned into the touch, his expression never wavering as his eyes fluttered closed.
"I don't think it's misplaced now," I whispered to him.
A moment later his own hand was covering mine, holding it against his cheek. His eyes had snapped open, scanning along my face almost desperately.
"For two and a half years that asshole had you and didn't even realize what he had," Matt murmured. "And I saw it the moment I met you. And I'm blind," he said, one corner of his mouth tugging up faintly. "I've been wanting the chance to show you how you should be treated for so long, Em." His head turned just a fraction, just enough for his mouth to place a gentle kiss to the palm of my hand. My heart stuttered in my chest at the contact. "I would never hurt you, Emily. And I sure as hell would never cheat on you."
His hand clasped around mine, carefully lowering it to my lap. Chewing the inside of my cheek, I sat there on his lap with bated breath as he continued to speak.
"I would relish the opportunity to show you how much I adore you, sweetheart," he whispered huskily, leaning forward and gently nuzzling his nose into my cheek. "To wake up beside you, hearing your beautiful voice every morning. Wrapped around your warm body. Working beside you like this in the evenings. Having dinner with you talking about how our days went." His nose brushed further up, along my temple and my hair. "I'd love to be here when you come back from a wedding with something for you to eat, helping you relax however you need it." He swallowed hard and I felt like I had stopped breathing. "And I can assure you," he continued, voice so quiet I had to strain to hear him, "yours is the only body I'd ever want to touch. It's the only one I've ever longed to touch."
Something snapped inside of me at his declaration and I turned, throwing my legs on either side of his thick thighs and straddling myself in his lap. Both of my hands flew to his face as I leaned into him, crushing my mouth to his without hesitation. His words were echoing in my mind as I hungrily kissed him–the action itself still not quite feeling like enough. I sucked against his bottom lip helplessly, whining as I tasted the faint bit of beer he'd just drank. It still didn't feel like enough; I wanted to drown myself in him.
Matt's hands flew to my hips, holding me tightly in place in his lap. His large palms were pressing hard into my sides and they felt impossibly good even over the fabric of my shirt. Flashes of what I'd imagined in the shower this morning came back to me and my body ached with a desperate need as a shudder ran through me.
My greedy mouth continued its assault on Matt's, the wet sounds filling his living room. Both of us were inhaling sharply in the brief milliseconds our lips managed to break apart, panting heavily. My hands slid back into his hair, raking my fingers and my nails through it. A deep rumble came from his chest, the vibration something I felt against my own chest as it pressed to his. Warmth flooded me as the blood in my body quickly rushed south and I found myself whining faintly against his mouth.
With a strong need for more burning through me, my hips ground down hard onto his lap. I felt his hips rut up towards mine in return, encouraging me to drag my hips forward slowly on his lap. My mouth released his as a moan fell out at the feel of the friction beneath my jeans. Everything about him felt impossibly good.
His hands slid down and splayed themselves over my ass before they squeezed roughly. Instantly my head fell against his shoulder, panting heavily beside his ear. A deep moan came from his mouth not too far from my own ear and my eyes snapped shut at the sound. My hips ground against his lap again as another whine left me, breathy and high. I could feel the wet heat beginning between my thighs.
"Matt," I moaned.
Abruptly Matt's hands on my ass held me firmly in place with a sharp hiss, halting my movements. I gasped, startling as I realized just what I had been doing.
"Shit," I groaned, embarrassed.
I quickly removed myself from his lap, heat now rushing up towards my cheeks as I tried to catch my breath. How had I lost control and come undone, grinding along him with our clothes on like horny teenagers? And why had it felt so fucking good?
"Shit, Matt, I'm sorry," I apologized, burying my face in my hands. "I have no idea what came over me."
"It's–it's okay, Em," Matt said, sounding like he was speaking through gritted teeth.
"No, I'm sorry, that was–was too far," I admitted, glancing at him through my fingers. "I just have a hard time controlling myself around you."
He huffed out a laugh, running a hand down his face as he tried to even out his breathing. "Yeah uh, I have the same problem. But I know you didn't want to–" he exhaled sharply, gritting his teeth for a moment before continuing, "–didn't want to have things get that physical yet. And I want to respect that."
"And I'm over here pawing at you like I have the raging hormones of a sixteen year old," I grumbled, still feeling embarrassed.
He laughed lightly now. "And it was wonderful, but we should probably…not do that tonight."
"Should we start on dinner?" I asked him. I swallowed roughly, shutting my eyes and trying to take a deep breath. "Give our hands…something else to focus on?"
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea," he agreed.
Matt rose from the couch, holding a hand out towards me. A small grin slid on my face before accepting it, letting him pull me up to my feet.
"Good thing we were here," Matt mused, bending over to grab his beer from the coffee table. "Couldn't have done that at Mad Goat."
I bit my lip, grabbing my beer from the coffee table as well. I brought it to my lips and took a drink as I followed him to the kitchen. My eyes lingered on his ass in his gray sweatpants as I swallowed the alcohol down.
"I mean just because we shouldn't," I told him coyly, "doesn't mean we couldn't."
Matt stopped mid-step, turning at the waist to look back towards me. His dark eyebrows had shot up high onto his forehead, one corner of his mouth pulled up in a faint smirk.
"Miss Diehl," Matt said low, almost growling, "who would have ever thought you weren't so innocent?"
I approached him slowly as I whispered, "Never said I was, Matty."
My eyes dipped lower on him again, my teeth gnawing at my bottom lip. Without thinking, I reached out with my free hand and lightly smacked him on the ass, grinning wide when he gasped at the impact.
"What–"
"Fair is fair, right?" I asked innocently, my hand still cupping his ass. "You got a good handful of mine a bit ago."
Matt barked out a laugh in response, the warm, wonderful sound filling the kitchen. He shook his head and continued towards the fridge, my hand returning to my side. I rested my elbows along the countertop, twirling the bottle of beer in my hands as my eyes remained on the perfect view of his ass as he bent into his fridge.
"I'm getting you some vegetables to cut before you get us into dangerous territory again," Matt teased.
My cheeks warmed as I took another pull from my beer, the text from Justin long forgotten now.