Guarded Heart

Bucky felt his heart breaking for Y/N as he gently picked her up bridal style and took her to his car. She grumbled groggily when he set her down in the back seat.

"What happened?"

Bucky made sure her seat belt was fastened, then went around to sit next to her.

"You fainted doll. Are you going to be alright? We planned on going to the wake at Loki's house but we don't have to go if you aren't up for it."

She shook her head sadly "No, I need to at least go for a bit. I didn't speak to his parents at all while we were at the cemetery." She stared out the window as Steve drove to Loki's.

"It still doesn't feel real. I don't know how to process everything that's happened the last few months. Clints betrayal, my father's death, my arm, Sif" she paused then whispered "Thor." She sighed sadly "I'm starting to think I'm cursed. Maybe I'm meant to be alone."

Bucky shook his head "No sweetheart, I know it feels like it but it will get better. Then worse, then better, up and down. Life is fucked like that.

Besides you can't be alone, you're stuck with me and reaffirmed it in front of everyone so I ain't going anywhere."

A small grin appeared on her face as she chuckled softly.

"Jesus Barnes, are you trying to depress her more?" Sam cracked from the front seat.

Bucky glared at Sam as Steve cackled at his comments. "Some friends you two are."

Steve looked at him earnestly "That hurts, Buck. We're your brothers" he proclaimed and Sam started laughing as Steve finished "It's our sworn duty to fuck with you any time possible."

Y/N laughed out loud before she could cover her mouth, eyes twinkling at Bucky.

He crossed his arms and grumbled "So now all three of you are gonna gang up on me? That's some bullshit."

Y/N reached out to caress his face, ran her fingers through his hair before pulling on it, hard "That's what family does, Jamie."

Bucky tried to stifle the moan that escaped but she heard it and raised her eyebrow at him. He blushed and shrugged his shoulders while she filed that tidbit away for future reference.

Her smile fell and she felt the pain in her chest again as they pulled up to Loki's house, people dressed in black walking up to the front door.

Bucky took her hand and helped her out of the car, walking her up the driveway as Steve went to find a parking place.

As soon as they entered Loki swooped in and gave her a tight hug, long enough they stood and cried on each other's shoulders.

Loki pulled back and looked at her. "You know he loved you more than anything. He would have dealt with being pulled back into the life if he had you by his side."

Y/N nodded "I know but I know how he hated it, how hard he worked to get away and the fights with Odin over his refusal to take over your family. I could never have asked him to do that." Her voice cracked "I'm so grateful for the time we did have but it's my fault he's gone and I don't know how to live with that."

Loki shook his head "No, love, It isn't your fault and he wouldn't want you blaming yourself. He had no hesitation when he told me he would die for you. I just hoped it would never come to this point."

Thor's mother, Frigga, interrupted them "Y/N dear child, are you alright? We saw you at the cemetery but there were so many people." She hugged her, then pulled back to look at her "You look tired child, when was the last time you ate a decent meal? Come, there is an abundance of food." She took her hand and pulled her towards the kitchen.

Y/N tried to protest but Frigga shushed her "Thor would want you taken care of and I'll do it if you can't right now."

She waved her hand around the kitchen, counters that were covered with dishes of food. "You know where everything is" she hugged her again "I have more people to greet but will find you soon. Make a plate and find a place to sit and eat."

Y/N made herself a plate and looked for a quiet place to sit which she found in the library. She curled up in an oversruffed leather chair, putting the plate in her lap and forced herself to eat. She tried not to get frustrated at how difficult it all was to accomplish with just one arm.

It didn't take Bucky long to find her "Hey Doll. You alright?"

She shrugged "I'm still alive, haven't broken down and am eating. I think that's as good as it will get right now."

They heard the doorbell but were surprised at how quiet the house became after they heard the door open. That couldn't be good.

Bucky looked at her "Stay here doll, I'll be right back." And reached for his gun. She looked at him concerned and he smiled softly and left the room.

It was quiet for a moment which made Y/N nervous. Then she heard shouting and Loki's raised voice and couldn't just sit there anymore.

When she made it to the living room, she wished she had stayed in the den.

Standing in the entry with a disgusting grin on his face was Baron Helmut Zemo. He smiled wider when he saw her.

"There you are my dear. I came to see how you were handling your lovers death. I've been so worried about you and wanted to offer my condolences."

Y/N's eyes grew wide at the sight of her ex fiance. "You have a lot of nerve showing up here Zemo. Everyone here knows of your involvement with Pierce and Dreykov, which makes you complicit in Thor's murder."

Zemo chuckled "Perhaps but they also know of the rules regarding funerals and are all far too honorable to break them. I just wanted to see you, darling. And let you know that this is not over. You are safe right here and right now because you are surrounded by your allies but it won't always be that way. I'm a patient man and I don't give up what is mine." he walked up and kissed her cheek before she could pull away. "You are mine and I will have you back. Your new fiance will be in the ground and you will be by my side and in my bed." He turned to leave "I'll see you soon, my love. And you too Sargeant Barnes." And quickly left.

Y/N was in shock. As if this hadn't become enough of a nightmare, she still had to deal with him.

After Zemo left, the room burst into tense discussions with some shouting thrown in.

Loki was furious, "How dare that bastard show his face here, today. I've half a mind to break that rule and-"

Frigga cut him off "I know Zemo needs to be handled but our family has honor and will not lower ourselves to his level. Besides that, Zemo is no fool. You know he has people right outside, waiting for one of us to come after him."

Loki looked down "I know mother, he just infuriates me. Tomorrow we will work on a plan to dispose of him and any of his associates we can identify."

Frigga hugged her remaining son "We will unleash the fury of the Gods on him."

Yelena appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. "I know where to start looking for his base and who he is probably working with."

Loki nodded "Tomorrow we shall meet, breakfast, early, here. Let this be the last we speak of him today."

Y/N was still standing in the middle of the room, seemingly in a daze as Bucky approached her "Y/N? Doll? Are you alright?" She looked at him and shrugged. He put his arms around her and whispered in her ear "Zemo won't get anywhere near you. I promise I will protect you with my life if necessary."

She shook her head "My life isn't worth anything anymore. I'm beginning to wonder if I should just go back to him so the rest of you can go on with your lives."

Bucky gently grabbed her chin and pulled her to face him. "No, Y/N, that's not acceptable to me. You are worth so much to so many people who will protect and defend you whether you want us to or not. None of this is your fault. Do you understand me?"

He saw her eyes filling up with tears "You're my family now and I don't want to hear that kind of talk. Ok?"

She nodded even though she still felt cursed and spoke in a small voice. "Can we go home now?"

Bucky kissed the top of her head "Of course. I'll let Loki know we're going, I'm sure he'll understand." He found an open chair and sat her down "Stay right here and I'll be back in a minute."

Bucky found Steve in a corner with Loki and rolled his eyes "Come on, jerk. Y/N is ready to go."

He turned to Loki "I'm going to take care of her tonight. Did I hear you say we were meeting for breakfast?"

Loki nodded, Bucky shook his hand. "We'll see you then. I'll try to convince Y/N to stay home, she's drained physically and emotionally."

Bucky went to get Y/N and Sam, giving Steve a moment to give Loki a kiss on the cheek before he headed to get the car.

Y/N was quiet on the way home and quickly showered and changed into her pajamas with her mothers help.

When Bucky came into his room to kiss her goodnight Y/N looked up at him sadly "Can you stay with me, Jamie? I don't want to be alone"

Bucky nodded "I can't say no to you, doll." And stripped down to a t-shirt and boxer briefs, climbing under the blankets to spoon her as she cried herself to sleep.