Guarded Heart

After Bucky left, Y/N went into her mother's room and cried until she fell asleep with her head on the mattress and holding her mother's hand.

Y/N woke up early in the morning, sore from her awkward sleeping position.

Wanda came in sat beside her and put her arm around her shoulders.

"How are you feeling this morning? You need to ask the nurses where you can sleep more comfortably if you refuse to go home."

Y/N smiled sadly "I feel about how one who lost her father and fiance while her mother is in a coma and who is now the head of a large organized crime family and has to abandon her Olympic dreams would be expected to feel" her eyes filled with tears again "I wish I knew how to guard my heart for times like this. Why did I ever let myself think for even a minute that Bucky could really care for me? I mean look at me and look at Natasha, she's stunning."

Wanda shook her head "None of that, you are every bit as beautiful as she is. I'm sorry, love. Men in love do the dumbest things."

Y/N shook her head "He wasn't entirely wrong, I've been fighting my emotions since I met him." She sighed "and shit like this is exactly why." She told Wanda about his tardiness the other night and the subsequent attempt to make it up for her before they went to bed plus the cuddles all the next day until Nat showed up. "I don't understand why he would act like that when it's only business to him."

Wanda looked at her friend sadly "Maybe he's feeling something too."

Y/N shook her head "If that were the case, he would be here with me but he's not. I'm a liar and he has to go save Nat. He's made his loyalties pretty clear." She sighed. "I need to go splash some water on my face and get the funeral arrangements finalized. One of the only considerate things my father ever did was plan his funeral in advance."

Wanda hugged her then sat with her mom while Y/N went to freshen up and then to the conference room to call the mortuary.

Once that was done she called Clint, gave him the funeral details and instructed him to call all of her families friends and associates, even the ones they weren't friendly with. A wake can be a good place to resolve differences with the evidence of how short life can be staring them all in the face.

She called her favorite dress shop and asked the owner to send something she would like in black to the house.

And the caterer to set up food and drinks for the wake.

While she was contemplating what food they needed there was a tapping on the door. It was Pepper and Tony coming to check up on her.

"Hey guys, give me a minute to finish this call"

She stopped dithering and decided on hors d'oeuvres and finger foods then confirmed the details before ending the call.

Y/N turned to Tony and Pepper, looking exhausted. They both gave her crushing hugs then Tony looked her in the face "You ok kiddo? You have a lot on your plate right now."

She nodded "I'm alright. Just waiting for mom to wake up, setting up dad's funeral and trying to find out who's behind the accident. They were in my truck so it was probably meant for me."

Pepper held her hand "What did James say about everything?"

She shook her head "You don't want to know but suffice to say that Barnes is no longer a concern except that he's likely to protect my number one suspect."

Pepper looked at her hand and realized the engagement ring was gone "I'm so sorry, I really thought he cared about you"

Y/N smiled sadly "So did I. Shoulda known better after that mess with Zemo. Doesn't matter anymore. I'm the Boss now and romance just causes drama, I don't need that crap."

Pepper shook her head "One of these days the right one will come along and sweep you off your feet."

"I doubt I'll give whoever he is any chance for that and hopefully he will move on quickly. I have shit luck in love and really don't want to be bothered anymore. I have Thor for sex, that's enough for me."

Tony shook his head "It'll happen but for now lets take care of business. What do you know?"

Y/N could see Tony's anger increasing as she told him all she knew.

"That sonofabitch called you a liar? He'll be lucky if I don't kill him myself."

"No, Tony, leave him alone if you can. I don't plan on hurting him unless he gets in my way. If he prevents us from getting Natasha all bets are off but only then. We also have to keep in mind that Dreykov is behind this and figure out who else he is working with. Zemo seems a likely possibility.

On top of all that, there's a mole in my family, finding them and Natasha are the priority. The mole is dead as soon as I see them, she might live a bit longer but not much."

Tony looked at her worried "When was the last time you slept? Or ate?"

She looked at him guilty "I slept some here last nite and I think lunch yesterday is the last time I ate. It's fine, I'm not hungry. I will have to leave for the funeral but other than that I want to be here in case Mom wakes up. I feel awful having the funeral while she's out but we can't wait too long and the doctor told me it would likely be too much stress for her. With how things are going I wouldn't be surprised if there was some drama at the funeral."

Tony ordered food from one of her favorite restaurants and they ate in the conference room. He even got Y/N to smile a bit.

Three days later was the funeral. Y/N went home in the morning, at least they had found a bed for her to sleep in even if it wasn't as comfortable as her bed at home, to shower and check all the details for the wake.

When she was ready she walked downstairs to find Clint talking to the caterer.

He gave her a hug when she stopped next to him "How are you holding up, princess?"

She smiled tiredly "as well as could be expected considering the circumstances."

"Well, you look beautiful, if tired. Let me know if you need me for anything."

"Nah, don't worry about me, except to make sure I'm not the next one to die. Whoever is behind this can't take this family over without killing me."

"Don't worry princess, I always have my eyes on you. I have to go take care of some things. I'll see you when it's time to go."

"Sure. We need to leave in 30 minutes, service is at 11."

She went to her fathers office and found Scott and Pietro with their noses in computers, she tapped on the door.

Scott looked up surprised "Oh shit, I mean hey boss. How are you?"

"As good as could be expected. Have you found any more info? Maybe who my mole is" she asked

Scott shook his head "Nothing on the mole but we found her birth certificate and she's definitely Dreykovs daughter. It looks like they might be working with Zemo, there are some questionable interactions and pictures of recent meetings but nothing concrete yet."

"Alright well put it away and freshen up. It's almost time to go to the service."

At the funeral home Y/N made a last minute check of all the details before people started showing up. The service was nice, Y/N spoke a few words as did some of her father's good friends.

When they left the chapel she ran into the Barnes'.

They both hugged her and Winnie said "Y/N, my dear we are so sorry for everything you've been through the last few days. Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help. Your father was a good friend for many years."

She smiled "Thank you. If I can get through today, I'll be alright."

"How is your mother?" Winnie asked

Y/N sighed "She's doing well, still in a coma but healing well. Hopefully she will be awake in a few days. At least that's what the doctors are expecting"

George looked uncomfortable "I'm sorry to ask but do you know where James is? We received a text from him that said he was staying with you to be supportive but don't see him here."

She looked at them surprised "No, I haven't seen him since I told him Natasha was a mole and probably behind the accident. He called me a liar and stormed off to find her. Before he left I returned the ring. That's the last time I saw or heard from him and it was a few days ago." Her heart raced, worried that he was in trouble but she took a breath and calmed herself, he wasn't her problem anymore. "I would guess that he found Natasha and is holed up somewhere with her. Maybe he left town." She shrugged "I'm sorry but I have things to take care of" and went to find Wanda with her mind racing.

Back at Y/N's home there were easily over 100 people scuffing up her floors, eating the expensive food and drinking expensive liquor while speaking in hushed tones. She wished she could just disappear down to the barn to see her horses. She had stopped to see them for a minute that morning but that was all since NYE.

She was able to find Thor, surrounded by other daughters who pretended to be interested in horses to gain his attention.

She slid up to his side "Thor, I need to speak with you for a moment about Destrys feed. I wonder if we need to increase-" she felt eyes on her and heard a foot tapping so turned to see Sharon and Peggy glaring at her for interrupting their conversation with Thor "Oh, Shar, Peggs, I didn't notice you two there, sorry. I have important business to discuss with Thor, you can have him back in a bit." And led Thor away to her fathers, no her office.

Thor locked the door and pulled her flush against him "What's wrong, little one? Not getting jealous are you?" He teased

"Very funny. Like the Carter sisters have anything to offer you. I just need you. All this drama and I can't get to you or my horses to help relieve the stress." She pouted

Thor picked her up and set her on the desk "I think I have the perfect remedy for you." He moaned as he slid his hands up her legs only to find she had removed her panties and pantyhose. "Oh my dove, you're already wet and ready for me, let's see if I can keep you distracted for a few minutes" and opened his pants before he slid his hard cock all the way home making them both moan. "I've missed you little one. So very warm and wet and tight" he grunted as he sped up his thrusts. She moaned loudly "Careful little one we don't want anyone to hear."

Y/N was glad her father had thought to have a full bathroom attached to his office when she went in there to freshen up. Thor was fixing himself up and waited for her before they both left the office to head back to the living room to face her guests.

Sharon and Peggy saw Thor almost immediately and practically ran over to him. Y/N laughed at him and he just shrugged. She pondered the possibility of just marrying Thor but knew he didn't want that life, he just wanted to work with horses.

Y/N took a couple of laps around the room, making sure to thank everyone for coming and planned a meeting of the family heads for tomorrow. No point in putting it off, better to get everything out in the open and handled as soon as possible.

As the hours passed she became exhausted since she hadn't had a decent nights sleep in a week and trying to remain composed was becoming too much. Of course this is when trouble showed up.

Zemo walked up to her "Y/N my dear, I wish to offer my condolences. Not only about your father but for your brief engagement, you can't seem to keep a man around. I hope you can find someone to stick around one of these days"

She shot him a dirty look "Get fucked Helmut. Only a prick like you would take joy in others pain. Why are you even here? Had to come gloat? Watch your back, Baron." She spat.

Clint came up and got in Zemos face "Don't you have anything better to do than harass a grieving daughter? Why don't I escort you to the exit." He grabbed Zemos arm and started forcing him out while Zemo laughed.

Then Dreykov and Yelena came up to offer their condolences, he smirked "I'm very sorry for your loss, Miss Y/L/N. We are here if you need anything.

She grew a small grin before she spoke "Where's your other daughter? I haven't seen her."

His eyes showed shock but only for a second "Antonia is back in Moscow working on some business for me. I didn't know you knew her"

Y/N laughed "Of course I know Antonia but I was referring to your other daughter. The redhead."

Yelena sucked in a breath and looked at her father. Dreykov replied "I don't know what you are talking about. Maybe the stress has affected your memory."

She nodded and replied sarcastically while looking him in the eyes "Right, my mistake. Excuse me."

She went to get a drink and ran into the Barnes'. Winnie looked at her sadly.

"Y/N we know James is on your bad list and wouldn't ask for your help if we didn't feel desperate. We still haven't found him and are really worried. Steve and Sam have been all over town without finding a trace. We don't think he would just leave with her and abandon his family."

She shrugged "If he felt like he had to choose, he might have. I understand you're concerned but I have more of my own drama to deal with right now. I'm sorry I can't help you."

Y/N didn't want to tell them that she was expecting to have to kill Bucky to get to Nat. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.