Chapter 14
Working as an Avenger was not what Wanda was expecting. She had seen her brother and the rest of the X-Men train together and run various drills but with the Avengers it was just like any other job. She had a few training sessions with Steve and Nick Fury but other than that she just wandered around the base looking for anything to keep her mind active. No one ever told her but she was certain it was because SHIELD didn’t trust her enough to run missions like the others. She had seen the red haired woman (who was called Natasha) and the archer (Clint) leave several times in the few months she had been there.
The people at SHIELD rarely ever hide their disdain from her. Sure, when Steve or another Avenger was around they acted friendly but while in the corridors or anywhere really alone they would send disgusted glares her way and mutter various insults. It was disheartening to say the least, especially given that the Avengers were almost never at the base but she managed. She had dealt with the fearful glances of her fellow mutants before so she could handle the hatred here.
“Hey, Sis” Pietro sped into her room. He sat at the lone chair that was in front of an empty desk in her plain room. “Long time no see.”
“Hello, Pietro” she smiled, sitting up in her bed. “It’s great to see you too.”
“How’s it been?” he asked, “I really miss you back at the school.”
Wanda sighed and looked out her window. She hadn’t been back to the school since she had been moved to SHIELD headquarters. While the other students had been weary of her, they at least understood her instead of acting like she was a monster that they had been forced to care for.
“That bad” Pietro slumped forward in the chair. He had always been able to tell what was going on in her mind, even without her telepathy. “Want to hear about how I’m doing?”
Wanda looked up at him and nodded.
“Well, Scott’s a stick in the mud as always but he brought his little brother who’s pretty cool. He and Jean still haven’t tied the knot yet though; but speaking of which, Remmy and Rogue were able to.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, the big day hasn't been scheduled yet but they’re doing it at the manor which is weird, who wants to get married at their school?”
Wanda giggled.
“We’ve gotten a few more coming in but the place is somehow still not overflowing. There’s got to be someone who’s making it have infinite rooms. Logan’s back from his brooding trip again. Don’t know where he found her but he brought back a girl that can walk through walls.”
Wanda smiled at the thought of the gruff, savage wolf-like man being dometic enough to take care of a child; but her smile quickly faded. The haunting feeling of grief infected her chest and tears were quickly brought into her eyes. The universe seemed bent on reminding her of its hatred, allowing someone like Logan to care for a child while taking hers away as cruelly and it brought them in.
“I-I’m sorry” Pietro gasped, running his hand through Wanda’s hair. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
Her silver haired twin gently brushed the tears from her face and allowed her to collapse against him, shaking with sorrow.
“It’s not fair” she cried, “I loved them! I cared for them! I had every reason to hate them but I protected them with my life!”
“I know,” Pietro muttered, rubbing circles around her back. “IknowIknowIknow.”
Wanda wept until her eyes dried out and her voice became hoarse.
“I-I’m being ridiculous” she let out a self-deprecating scoff.
“No you’re not,” Pietro assured her.
“I mean, I barely saw them, let alone got to know them. I don’t even remember if they were boys or girls.”
Wanda brushed her brother’s comforting touches off her and paced back and forth at the foot of her bed.
“I’m young” she declared, “I’ll have another chance. Maybe not twins but I can have more children that I will be able to love and hold and raise and all that; and so what Logan got one before me. He’s like a hundred years old.”
Pietro chuckled, “It’s not a competition, Wanda. You’ll have your own mini-yous running around when you’re ready.”
Wanda felt her body tense and she froze in the middle of her stride. Did she want a child like her? The answer was simple: no. Her frame was still lithe from the years of malnutrition from being locked up in the facility and every so often she would be bedridden for days from what Dr. Strange had deduced long term effects from the experiments HYDRA had performed.
“No,” she shook her head, “I don’t want them to be like me, like us.”
Pietro quirked one of his eyebrows.
“I want them to be normal and live a normal life” she elaborated, “I want them to be able to go through the world and not have to worry about being a freak, a monster.”
“You’re not a monster, Wanda”
“I never mentioned myself”
The twins locked eyes. Wanda’s hands shook and Pietro took no time to zip over to her and bring her into a hug.
“I didn’t mean it like that” he whispered.
“I know” Wanda whimpered, “But sometimes I can’t help but feel like it’s true.”
“You know it isn’t”
“But I don’t! I don’t know that. Everyday I think of them, and not just them: the others that were there as well. I know that they were even and deserve to die but what if they weren’t. What if that happens in public? What if I lose control here? Clint has children, Yelena and Natasha have already lost each other before, Thor has an entire kingdom relying on him, and-and-and…”
Pietro rubbed his younger sister’s back as she continued to sob into his shoulder and wet his blue uniform. He wanted to give her some peace and comfort but couldn’t. Even though he knew his sister, her caring and selfless heart, he knew that her powers were not as merciful as her. They were destructive and indiscriminate like a tsunami that ripped through anything that got in its path.
“You’ve come so far” he tried, not letting his own fear bleed into his voice. “You’ve done so much good and helped thousands of people.”
“But it’s not enough. Stark doesn’t even trust me to leave the base without someone”
Pietro growled and cursed under his breath.
“Do you need me to get Tata?” he asked half jokingly.
Wanda shook her head in the crook of his neck.
“Maybe you need to take a break from being an Avenger” he suggested, “Jean and Rogue have a hard time accepting their powers; and Kurt and Warren know a thing or two about self hatred.”
Wanda broke away from her brother and looked around the room. It was still as bland and tasteless as the day she had come here, so unlike her room back at the school. Her dad had tried to get her to take some of her more personal items but Wanda didn’t trust any of the SHIELD agents within a six mile radius near her precious things. She wondered what Pietro had done to their room. Was her half just as she had left it or did he pack it all up and throw it in a closet?
“Sure,” she nodded, “I guess that may help.”