superposition

coulda been a nightmare
but it felt like they were right there
and it feels like yesterday was a year ago

Tony felt sick. 

The past 48 hours had been an absolute whirlwind of emotions. Fear, heartbreak, anguish, relief, happiness. And now, he felt ill. He had thought he got everything back, a chance to be with his family without the looming threat of Thanos or any goddamn Infinity Stones. This world was supposed to be the same, save for their victory and subsequent deaths.

But it wasn’t. 

Nobody knew who Peter Parker was. Not Pepper. Not Happy. Not Rhodey. Not even Morgan and Tony remembered very clearly telling her stories about Spider-Man and his genius little lab partner. The only people who knew of Peter Parker were him, Steve, and Natasha. 

It didn’t make sense. But no matter how badly he wanted to, he couldn’t spiral in that moment. Not when Pepper and Morgan had gotten him back after this long and certainly not when everyone’s eyes were on him. 

“Tony,” He stopped his pacing, turning his attention onto Happy. Following their reunion, Tony had bid his goodbye to the Barton family and Steve and Nat and went home with his family, to Pepper and Morgan’s lovely penthouse in the Upper East Side. (It was the one that Tony and Pepper had bought together after they had gotten married and before the fated Snap, when life had seemed too good to be true.) Rhodey and Happy had insisted on staying with them following Tony’s return, which he couldn’t really blame them for. “How’re you holding up?”

He pursed his lips, how could he possibly answer this? He was a mix of so many emotions right now, how could he possibly find the words to describe even just one? “I’m…alright.” He said carefully. In some sense, he was alright. That was good enough for now. 

Happy sighed, taking a seat on the couch. Rhodey, Pepper, and Morgan had long since gone to bed and while he had tried to join his wife, his jumbled nerves had kept Tony from being able to stay down long. “You said something earlier, that I can’t get out of my head.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow, staring at his friend closely. “And what was that?”

“You asked us if we knew Peter Parker.” Tony’s heart pounded in his chest. “I couldn’t…in the moment, I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything at all.” That was right…Happy never did say confirm nor deny whether or not he knew of Peter Parker, he had stayed silent while Pepper and Rhodey looked at Tony with worried eyes. 

“Are you saying that you do?” His tone was hopeful. 

Happy looked down at the ground, blinking profusely and Tony realized there were tears in his eyes. “I don’t…I don’t know who Peter Parker is but-” He paused, taking in a shaky, tearful breath, “I dated this woman, she was honestly one of the best things to ever happen to me. She meant the world to me and I-I lost her.” 

Tony’s breath caught in his throat, “Hap, what was her name?” He didn’t know why he was asking. He knew the answer.

“I-I..I don’t-,” Happy shook his head and when he finally looked at him, his eyes were red and glossy, “Her name was May Parker.” 

Tony squeezed his eyes shut. May was dead. Oh Peter. “May,” He said softly, his heart breaking a little more. She had become an important part of his life, especially during those five, painful years without Peter. She had become his best friend. And he didn’t even get to say goodbye. 

“You knew her,” Happy whispered, taking in the broken look on his friend’s face. “Tony, I…I’m so sorry.” 

“How did she-?” Tony was looking at him now, his own eyes tearful. 

Happy shook his head and from the look on his face, Tony regretted asking the question. “I-” His voice cracked, “I can’t…Tony, I just…I loved her. I know I did but when I think back to how I met her, the memory isn’t clear in my head. She was my everything but I have no idea how I knew her. I helped her at FEAST but I didn’t start going there until I met her. I just-” He broke off, furiously rubbing away the tears from his face. 

“Hap, that doesn’t…that doesn’t make sense.” 

“I know,” Happy nodded, “Trust me, I know. When you said that name-” 

Tony cut in, “Peter.” 

“Yeah, Peter. His last name…is there a chance that he…” 

“She was his aunt.” His voice was tight. “You had to have known him.” This didn’t make any sense. How did Happy know May if Peter Parker was unknown to him?

“I-I can’t place him.” They had identical looks of confusion on their faces. 

Tony sighed, scratching his goatee. “This doesn’t…” He shook his head, looking for the right words. There was none. “I’m going to figure this out.” He put his hand on Happy’s shoulder, squeezing in as he hoped to offer at least a semblance of comfort.

-

“FRIDAY,” Tony said softly, taking in the sight of his untouched lab. He assumed that the last time it had been occupied was all those years ago, before they had made the decision to move to the lake house. “How are you, doll?” 

“Boss, it is great to have you back. My systems are currently merging with the FRIDAY from Mark 85.” His AI’s voice flooded through the space and he couldn’t help but crack a smile. 

“It’s great to be back, Fri.” He looked around, thinking of how to get to work. He needed to find Peter, where to start? “Get me everything you have on Peter Parker.” 

FRIDAY stayed silent for a moment before she spoke up, “There are currently 27,985,903 people named Peter Parker in the United States alone, would you like to-”

His eyebrows furrowed, “Peter Parker. Queens? The Spiderling?” Why did nobody seem to know who he was talking about?

“I’m sorry, Boss. I’m not getting any results for a Peter Parker in Queens and Spider-Man’s identity is still unknown. Perhaps I can begin a search based off the data gathered about Spider-Man’s whereabouts since returning from the Blip?”

He stayed silent, her question going unanswered. What the hell was going on? He had to have known Peter in this universe, it wouldn’t make sense if he didn’t. How else would Happy have met May? How else would he have brought everyone back when Peter was his main motivator for inventing time travel? 

“FRIDAY,” Tony cleared his throat, “How did May Parker d-die?” He pretended that his voice didn’t waver as he spoke.

“May Parker passed from a severe wound to the abdomen as a result of a fight between Spider-Man and an unknown assailant.” 

Oh fuck. Tony paused, taking in the information. May died, not from illness, but from someone who went after Peter. He squeezed his eyes shut, he could only imagine the pain and guilt that Peter was putting himself through. “How long has she been gone?” He asked, his voice thick with emotion. 

“14 months.” 

14 months. Is that how long Peter has been alone? 

He paced the length of his workshop, arms crossed and one hand tapping his chin. He needed to find Peter. That poor kid. His poor kid. “Peter Parker,” He commanded, “He should be about…god, he would be eighteen now. Spider-Man’s still in New York so he should be too. If not Queens, check Brooklyn, the City, anywhere closeby.” 

FRIDAY was silent but he knew she was whirring at work. He looked around, feeling a pang of sadness when he didn’t see any of his bots, although part of him knew it was better that they weren’t left down here by himself. He would have to ask Rhodey or Happy about them in the morning.

“I have one result for a Peter Parker that would match your description.” FRIDAY finally said and Tony’s heart skipped a beat. 

“Give it to me.” 

He took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever it was he was about to hear. (Deep down, a part of him wondered if he was looking for a ghost, a kid that this Tony Stark actually did not know. He chose not to indulge it.)

“There is a Peter Benjamin Parker enrolled as a first year student at Columbia University, majoring in both Computer Science and Biochemistry. Would you like me to pull up his school ID?” 

“Yes, Fri, of course I would.” He nodded and didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when Peter Parker was staring back at him. It was him, but it wasn’t the Peter Parker he had hugged during the final battle with Thanos. This Peter didn’t smile for his ID photo, his lips fixed in a stoic expression and his eyes were sullen and sad. Haunted. 

“Oh kid,” He said softly, his heart breaking slightly. “What’s happened to you? FRIDAY, what else is there on him? Graduation photos? Diploma?”

“That’s the thing, Boss, all there is on him is his file for Columbia. Before his enrollment, there is nothing.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Check Midtown Tech. Check…check-” But what else was there to check? If Pepper and Happy didn’t know him, neither would the Stark Industries database. 

“I’m sorry, Boss. There is no diploma or graduation date, Peter got into Columbia with his GED…” His AI trailed off, “however his file does include a home address.”

Tony sighed, leaning against one of his worktables. “Send it to my phone.” He said simply. An address, he could work with an address. “Pull up everything you have on Spider-Man since…well, since I died.” 

His holographic interface went to work and he was suddenly met with a blue around him as different articles regarding Spider-Man appeared. 

Spider-Man Saves Local Restaurant from Robbery-In-Progress

New Yorkers Create A Petition to Change Spider-Man’s Name to Iron Spider

Terror at London Bridge

Mysterio Dead: Spider-Man Suspected for Murder

Spider-Man: The Web Headed Spider-Menace

Why Does Spider-Man Hate National Monuments?

Was Spider-Man at Rockefeller Center?

Two Month Anniversary of Spider-Man’s Disappearance: New Yorkers Fear the Worst

Tony skims through each of them, looking for key words and phrases that could give him some kind of insight as to what may have led to…whatever was going on. They at least seemed to provide somewhat useful information as to what Spidey has been up to; however, it's the last article that truly catches his attention. Hesitantly, he opens it, his eyes reflecting the soft blue of the hologram.

It has been two months since the residents of New York have seen our beloved Spider-Man and like many others, I am losing hope that our web-slinger is still out there. Since the miraculous return of those who fell victim to the Blip, our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man has been our protector. Following the events and accusations from Mysterio and his disciples, Spider-Man has continued to protect our people and there was not a day that went by that we went without seeing him. This all changed two months ago. Spider-Man was last seen September 23 in Downtown Manhattan however following the explosion at a warehouse connected to Alchemax, experts are weighing out whether or not Spider-Man was one of the unfortunate casualties. Witnesses say they saw Spider-Man entering the warehouse around 7:30 that night, however there was no confirmation as to whether or not they saw him leave. As we go on two months with no evidence that he is alive, New Yorkers everywhere ar-

He stopped reading, frantically turning back to the other articles that FRIDAY had offered him. Two months? Peter was missing for two months? Did anyone who really knew him notice? Tony felt sick. Before he could panic too much, his heart rate calmed slightly when he clicked on a new article and the wrinkles in his forehead softened as he read. Only days following the previous article, Spider-Man made his heroic return during a standoff between the NYPD and a deranged wannabe-baddie, self-titled The Rhino, where he had swooped in to save a little girl who thought she could be Spider-Man.

(He took a deep breath as he tried not to remember the little boy that stood-up to the droids at the Stark Expo.)

Tony sat down on his bench, putting his head in his hands. Spider-Man had definitely been busy in the time that he had been gone, however he was nowhere close to figuring out why nobody seemed to know who he was and why there was literally no record of Peter Parker beyond his registration to his university. 

He sighed, pulling out his phone to find the address from FRIDAY. 400 W 37th St, New York, NY 10018. Apartment 3A. If he wanted to get answers, he would need to get them from the source. He needed to see Peter.

“Boss, Mrs. Stark would like me to inform you that the Little Miss and her are awake.”

Almost immediately, his heart warmed at the way FRIDAY had addressed his wife and daughter. Mrs. Stark and the Little Miss. He couldn’t just leave right now when they had just gotten him back.

He would have to wait to go to Peter until later.

-

Later came quicker than Tony had anticipated. Morgan had been, understandably, attached to his hip all day. Dragging him all around the penthouse to give him her specialized edition of a tour, as if Tony had never seen the space before. Which, he supposed that maybe she never knew that he did. She was only six and for the first four years of her life, they had spent it all together in the lake house. 

Pepper and Rhodey seemed to think that he would disappear out of thin air, the two of them touching him whenever they got the chance. Pepper would stop and kiss his hair or his cheek whenever she saw him, holding his hand tightly when she sat beside him at the table or on the couch. Rhodey would ruffle his hair or clap him on the shoulder whenever he passed him, which seemed to be more often than would realistically be necessary. 

Happy, on the other hand, would just sit opposite of Tony and watch him with hopeful and questioning eyes. It was obvious that the man knew that Tony had a plan of sorts and he could assume that Happy was looking forward to answers about what was ailing him. From their conversation last night, he could tell that May and Happy had shared a connection and it was probably killing him to not remember every aspect of their relationship.

Tony decided not to bring up his quest for Peter Parker for two reasons. One being that he was sure that Pepper and Rhodey would try to convince him out of it, that going out in public before they figured out how to announce his miraculous return was a bad idea. The second reason was that he didn’t know if he could take pitying looks over looking for someone that didn’t exist to them. He didn’t think he would be able to handle it if any of them tried to suggest that he didn’t know Peter on this Earth.

Anyways, he figured that a disguise was all that he needed to stay incognito on the streets of New York. It was dark and technically he wasn’t alive here, no one would pay him a second glance with his hood up and a baseball cap covering half his face. It would be fine.

He pressed one more kiss onto Morgan’s head, tucking the blankets snug against her. She was conked out and had been for about four hours now, having been hopped up on the ice cream sundaes that she had (very easily) convinced him to make. It didn’t matter that she was two years older than the last time he saw her, she was still his Maguna. 

“Just for a drive?” Pepper asked softly, fiddling with the flannel he was wearing. 

“Just for a drive, honey,” He nodded. It was technically the truth.

She held the hem of his flannel, stepping closer to him until they were eye to eye. “You’ll come right back?” Her voice was timid and suddenly Tony felt bad for not telling her the full truth. She was scared of losing him again. 

He wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her lovingly on the forehead. “Right back. You’re stuck with me.” Tony leaned in, kissing her softly. 

She smiled into the kiss, stroking his hair. “Right back,” She whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He grinned. 

They stood together for a few minutes more and Tony was just basking in the fact that he could hold Pepper and that the world wasn’t ending. As much as he didn’t want to leave her, even if it was just for a few hours, he knew that he had to find Peter and had to fix whatever had happened. He never did get the chance to tell the kid what he had meant to him, and now he had a chance to show it. 

The apartment that Peter was now living in wasn’t too far of a drive from the penthouse, only fifteen minutes or so. However, for Tony, it felt like both an eternity and not long enough. He was a jumble of nerves as he truly didn’t know what to expect. This Peter….this Peter has lived over two years without him. There was no way he could expect to see an alive Tony Stark, what if he freaked out before Tony got the chance to explain everything? 

God, he didn’t think this through.

It was eleven thirty now and Tony was sitting inside his car, parked outside an apartment building. The car was odd and the windows were fogging up now from his breath, but he couldn’t convince himself to get out of his car. It didn’t matter that finding Peter had been at the forefront of his mind all night and all day, he was terrified of the fact that he didn’t know how this would go. What if Peter truly didn’t know him in this world? What if he went up to his apartment and Peter shut the door in his face before he had the chance to say anything? 

Tony laid his head on the steering wheel. If he stayed out any longer, he would worry Pepper and he couldn’t do that to her right now. He either had to go in now or he had to wait until he had another chance. 

“You’re Iron Man,” He said to himself, “I’m Iron Man.” And with a deep breath, he stepped out of the car. 

The apartment building was…well, it wasn’t grand. For starters, the fact that Tony could walk right in without needing to buzz or swipe a card was definitely cause for some worry and if the paint peeling from the baseboards was anything to go by, it seemed that the upkeep was minimal. 

Apartment 3A. It was nice that the elevator wasn’t working so Tony could use the stairs without having to make up an excuse for himself. He needed some more time to think of a game plan, of what he would do if (when) Peter answered the door. 

However, it didn’t matter how much he planned, because when Tony mustered up enough courage to knock on the door, it went unanswered. Even after he knocked again. And again. Nothing.

He sighed, leaning his head against the door as he weighed his options. Now that he was here, standing in front of the apartment that Peter lived in, he felt like he couldn’t leave without doing something, anything. 

“Can I help you with somethin'?” A voice startled him and he spun around, nonchalantly pulling his hat down lower. 

Standing in front of him was an old man, looking at him curiously however, Tony was relieved to note that there was no recognition in his eyes. “No, not at all,” He flashed a quick grin, “Just waiting for someone.”

“Ya looking for the kid that lives 'ere?” The man gestured to the door, waving his cigarette around.

Tony stood up a little straighter, “Yes,” Okay, at least he had the right apartment. Not that he doubted it for a moment. 

“Yeah, good luck with that one,” He snorted. “That sonuvabitch don’t let no one into that damn apartment, only that girl.” He took a long drawl of his cigarette, even though Tony could have sworn he saw a no-smoking sign on his way up. Girl? His lip twitched in amusement at the thought of Peter having a girlfriend. 

Tony furrowed his eyebrows, “I think I’ll take my chances, thanks.” 

The old man grinned, “‘Bout time someone took responsibility for tha' punk ass kid. Little bastard.” He was mostly mumbling to himself, although his comments were definitely raising questions for Tony. He didn’t get a chance to ask for clarification, as the man was halfway through the door to the stairs. 

Never in his life did he think that anyone would describe Peter as a ‘punk ass kid.’ Sure, maybe Tony himself would say it in a joking way or if he was trying to rile the kid up, however the man’s tone told him that he was being dead serious. 

He rubbed his goatee, closing his eyes as he tried to think of a game plan. Should he stay here? Camp outside the door and wait for Peter to return? It would definitely be the least spectacular of all his entrances but he could only work with what he had. Tony glanced down at the smudged doorknob, a million thoughts running through his head. 

Maybe he could just…wait inside? He wasn’t above a little B and E. He glanced to either side of him before fiddling with his watch, pulling out a small pin. Unlocking a shoddy apartment door was child’s play for him and it took less than a minute to hear the soft click from the door. He was both happy and unhappy to note that the doorknob lock was the only lock on the door, no deadbolt or chain or anything.

Despite the first impression he got of the rest of the apartment building, Peter’s studio apartment was…well, it wasn’t amazing but it was actually pretty nice. Cozy, if Tony had to be absolutely honest. There was a full-sized bed in the corner with a desk across from it, sitting along the windows. The kitchen sat on the opposite side of the room, and a few feet away from Peter’s bed was a little living room set-up, complete with a worn couch and a coffee table. Strings of white lights decorated the walls, illuminating the room and drawing attention to a little bulletin board that was set-up above the dresser. All-in-all, the apartment was very Peter Parker.

Tony closed the door softly, making his way around the apartment. A bag of takeout was half-opened on the coffee table and a box of pizza was on the stove and it brought a small smile onto his face as he realized that Peter held onto his takeout-loving roots. For his first apartment, it really wasn’t too bad. 

A note on the fridge caught his eye, the purple post-it stuck next to a rent notice-

buy more coffee grounds or i will buy u a nespresso. this a threat <3 - K

K? Must be the girl that the old man was alluding to. How interesting. He turned to look around more, however his plans were quickly thwarted when a soft meow stopped him in his tracks. 

“Jesus fuck!” He exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest as he looked towards the culprit. There, along the ledge of the sofa, perched a small orange cat, who was staring intently at him. “Uh, hi,” He greeted awkwardly.

The only response he got was a quirked head before the cat dashed off, scurrying underneath the bed. Okay…so Peter had a cat. Better than an attack dog, he supposed. And now that he noticed the little guy, he recognized the slew of cat toys that littered the apartment and the cat tower that was sat against the wall close to the window. 

He walked towards the desk, peeking at the papers that littered the area. However, what really piqued his interest was the upper corner, where three objects sat in a delicate set-up; a Darth Vader Lego figurine, a paper coffee cup that read ‘Peter Pan’s Donuts’, and a pair of glasses. His heart clenched as he recognized them as May’s. 

“Oh, kid,” He mumbled softly, his fingers ghosting over the objects. There was something about them that told him that Peter had been through the ringer and that these were just souvenirs of what he had lost. They were important. 

The sound of the lock turning caught Tony off guard and his breath hitched in his throat as he realized that Peter was back. He hadn’t anticipated how soon he would be facing the kid and all the planning that he had done on the drive over and the walk up went out the door. What the hell was he going to say?

His heart drummed in his chest as he watched the door handle turn and suddenly it was like all the air was sucked out of him as Peter stepped through the door. He stood frozen by the desk, basically gawking at the kid, however it didn’t matter that he didn’t know what to say because Peter didn’t even seem to notice his existence.

“You literally heard me unlock the door,” Peter scoffed into his phone, his voice words slightly slurred, “So stop worrying.” 

Tony’s nose twitched as the smell hit him. Peter reeked of weed and by the sound of his voice and his stuttery movements, it was quite obvious that he was stoned. 

“The party was a bust anyways, honestly, I’m embarrassed we stayed as long as we did.” Now that he was really looking, Peter was definitely dressed in what he would call “party attire,” complete with baseball cap sitting backwards on his head, brown curls sticking out here and there. Tony was now noticing the lit joint that the kid was balancing between his fingers. “Yeah, yeah whatever. I’ll see you tomorrow. ‘Kay… oh-kay bye.” 

Even after finishing his phone call, Peter still failed to notice that there was someone literally in his apartment and Tony was honestly too shell-shocked by the absurdity of everything to formulate a sentence, let alone think about the fact that the kid with super-senses was very unaware of the fact that his apartment got broken into. It wasn’t often that he was rendered speechless but the sight of his no-longer-sixteen-year-old pseudo-son that apparently smoked weed now was enough to do the job. 

The orange cat ran out from underneath the bed, circling Peter’s legs as he took in a hit of his joint, purring loudly. Tony watched as the boy clumsily crouched down, scratching at the cat’s head, “Heya Fishy,” He cooed, “You been good while I was gone, Fish?” 

Fish? Peter named his cat Fish?

He couldn’t help but laugh. Loudly. 

It was like things were playing out in slow motion as Peter became aware of his presence and subsequently fell backwards onto the floor, right on his ass. Tony’s eyes met Peter’s red-rimmed ones, the kid looking at him with a mixture of shock and what he could only read as “what the absolute fuck,” which honestly, is what he was expecting.

However, what he wasn’t expecting was for Peter to simply just blink before fixing his attention on the joint in his hand, “Holy shit, this stuff is stronger than I thought.” He scrubbed his eyes, looking back at Tony. “Got me seeing shit.” 

That was it. Peter didn’t question the resurrected mentor standing in his apartment, instead he seemed to chalk it up to a marijuana-induced hallucination. He didn’t spare Tony a second look, he just got up off the ground and disappeared down the small hall into the bathroom, mumbling quietly to himself. 

And all Tony could do was stand there, staring at the spot where Peter once was.