It’s not what it sounds like
The Spector/Grant/Lockley/ El Faouly household had a lot of books. Between Steven’s hundreds of tomes, Layla’s countless research books, the small collection of fiction books Marc owned, and Jake’s cooking books, the family had a versatile library in their house. At last count they had well over a thousand books, which spanned six different book shelves in their house. However, their collection was ever growing, mostly thanks to Steven and Layla. This had led to their current predicament, which was the four of them sitting on the floor with the various pieces of an Ikea bookshelf spread out between them.
The instructions for the thing were written in Swedish, and out of all the languages the four of them spoke, none of them spoke swedish. Marc had tried using his phone to translate the gibberish, but quickly grew frustrated with the poor translation and tossed the phone to the side. Unfortunately, when he discarded his phone, the avatar chat group opened up. This would not have been a problem, except Marc currently had speech to text enabled on his phone, for hands free searching. And now the phone was dictating everything the group was saying to the chat group.
—------------
Avatar Chat Group
Marc: So how are we going to do this? All four of us?
Jake:Si
Marc: Uggh, if only the directions were a little bit clearer…
Steven: It’s OK, we don’t need no directions, we can figure it out on our own. How bloody hard can it be?
Layla: Pretty hard Steven.
Marc: OK, first things first, we need some protection. We don’t want any little accidents.
Layla: Yea, Taweret’s not taking care of anymore of your accidents.
*Rustling of plastic*
Marc: Right, me and Steven are taken care of, Jake! It doesn't go there
Jake: Wana show me where it goes gran chico?
Marc: For the love of, give it to me. If you're old enough to be doing this, you're old enough to know how to use protection properly.
*Harsh sound of rubber slapping on skin*
Marc: Ok, now we are all safe and we can get started. Steven, want to hand me your rod?
Steven: Ohh, umm, Sure? But I don’t think it will fit there….
Layla: Just trust Marc, Steven honey, he’s done this before.
Marc: Right so, we put your rod right here, and DAMN!
Layla: Ow, Marc, Steven was right, it doesn't fit.
*Groaning in the background*
Jake: Well, no maybe if you just wiggle it a little?
Layla: Ohh! Yes, do that again, I think it’s working!
Steven:Oh, Hi Khonshu, gonna join us?
Jake: If you’re gonna join us, come over here and hold this.
Khonshu: Hmm. It does look like Steven’s rod is about to fall out of Layla’s hole. I will assist
Layla: Ow, watch it with the beak Khonshu
Jake: Ok, you ready, I'm gonna slide my rod in now
Layla: Quickly Jake!
Jake: Yea, yea. Mierda, that’s a tight fit
Khonshu: Carefully, you might break the hole
Jake: We have another
*More groaning, Layla panting*
Marc: Right, I’m almost there. Just gonna slide my rod in real careful
Layla: Oh Marc! Careful, I’m gonna lose it.
Marc: Sorry Love
Marc: Khonshu, can you push everything together?
Khonshu: I don’t see how that would help with this situation, but OK
*Groans*
Marc: Yes!
Jake: Oh, Fuck, finally
Steven: Oh, that was so awesome
Layla: we should do that again
Khonshu: Well, it was certainly an experience
—--------
Marc hears a beep, signaling that his phone’s battery has died. Huh, he hadn’t even realized that it was on. He’d have to go plug it in before he forgot. But they managed to get that beast together, and they didn’t even need the instructions! Go team!
—---------
Meanwhile, the other Avatars had all received notifications of a new message on the chat group. They certainly did not expect what they found.
—--------
Avatar chat group
Aya: Are they, like, doing it?
Yatzil: Sure sounds like it
Yatzil: Thought it was bad enough when I got the pleasure of hearing Khonshu and Hathor going at it
Yatzil: But now this
Yatzil: Just eww
Selim: I don’t think that they realized they sent this message. They wouldn’t do that to us.
Finnigan: Marc, Steven, and Layla wouldn’t do that to us. Jake absolutely would.
Bethany: OMG Jake totally would. But I don’t think he would because he’s too scared of what Layla would do to him
Selim: please don’t remind me of what she is capable of doing. I will faint. I am already feeling somewhat nauseous.
Finnigan: You mean you don’t want to rehash how she cursed them with a woody?
Aya: OMG, that was a good one. Yatzil, Bethany, and me should get together with Layla and take notes on how to get back at rude partners
Yatzil: I’m down for that
Bethany: When and were?
Aya: Have to ask her when she is not busy, if you know what I mean
Finnigan: I feel afraid. I feel very afraid.
Selim: You should be buddy. We are outnumbered here.
Aya: Behave boys, we rule you. But, yea. I think that they sent this by mistake.
Yatzil: so we never tell them right?
Yatzil: At least, not until they figure it out on their own?
Finnigan: As far as I’m concerned, this never happened.
Selim: I’m getting so drunk I forget my own name. Want to join me Finnigan?
Finnigan: Coming right over
Aya: Boys
Bethany: I know right? I mean, it’s just a little butt dial during sexy times. Everyone’s done it
Yatzil: Umm, not everyone has not done it.
Yatzil: Something you’d like to tell us?
Bethany: Got to go!
Aya: LoL I’m out
Yatzil: I’m collecting blackmail material, if anyone cares.
—------
Two hours later, Marc took his phone off of the charger and noticed that there were new messages in the Avatar chat group. He opened it and read the thread. The more he read, the paler he got. How was he going to explain this to the others? Layla was going to skin him alive, and Steven was going to be so mortified. Jake was going to find it hilarious though, that was for sure. Speech to text sure had done him dirty.