marvel x reader oneshots!!

your hands shook while you tried to focus on the reports fury had set down in front of you about 3 hours ago. about half the team had left since then, natasha patting you on the back for some much needed support, albeit incorrectly placed. you sighed, stretching and arching your spine in a fashion that forced it to crack loudly before hurriedly pulling your shirt back down. your coworker, loki, looked up from where he was focused on his book, arching a perfect brow. it made you pause, suddenly aware that most of the people left were people that could overpower you and they were almost all guys save maria and pepper. it felt like it didn't matter that you'd known them for years on end, you needed to leave, get away, run.

lucky for you, the bathrooms weren't all that far away, giving you a quick escape from staring eyes. the door slammed behind you, and you slid down it, eyes closing. you could almost hear them, see them wondering what the hell that was, why you just left so soon. your mind took a dark, harsh turn, and suddenly you could see clint and bucky talking about how hard it would be to hold you down if tony could get the door open. would FRIDAY override the system, call the police if you cried out for her to? or could tony shut her off?

the thoughts swirled harshly around in your head until you subconsciously crawled forward, into the nearest stall and threw up into the toilet in front of you. you gripped the sides of the porcelain god so hard you thought you would break it as you heaved and cried silently, shoulders trembling in terror, anxiety and anger while you hunched there. it hurt, everything hurt. but mostly your ribs where they felt like they were closing in on your lungs, cutting off air. your hands pulled away from the toilet and clutched at your sides, feeling everything tense up and whirl around you. it was like you weren't even in your world anymore, like you were in a void, a place where you were so extremely vulnerable it was laughable. you forced your hands to unclench, gasping down breaths of cool air into your still tightening lungs, a desperate and failed attempt to water down the flames licking at your throat and stop the acid boiling, rising in your stomach. your tummy clenched, forcing out a soft hnngh while you lurched up and back over the toilet, dry heaving and choking on the air you tried to pull in.

you stood on baby-deer legs, shaking violently while tears now threatened to spill over again while you flushed and wobbled out to look in the mirror. remnants of today's coffee and streaked eyeliner covered your face, hands fumbling for a paper towel. you swore first angrily and then sadly when you ripped the first two, finally getting one third try and wetting it under the faucet. you slapped it onto your face, the cold a welcome shock to your overheated and red skin. you rubbed away the evidence of your prior pain, then nearly lost it again from a sharp, heavy knock on the the door.

"you doing okay in there?"

tony's voice. your hand clutched around your only means of defense, a wet paper towel.

"yeah, 'm fine. whaddya need?"

"nothing. just making sure you're good."

𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
"thanks for checking on me."

"no problem. come out soon though, ok? it's been about 20 minutes."

𝘋𝘖𝘕'𝘛 𝘎𝘖 𝘖𝘜𝘛 𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘌. 𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘠'𝘙𝘌 𝘗𝘓𝘈𝘕𝘕𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖 𝘏𝘜𝘙𝘛 𝘠𝘖𝘜.
"be out soon. didn't realise it was that long."

"yeah."

as soon as you knew tony was away from the door the panic was set on grasping you in those sharp talons again. you tapped out patterns on the counter anxiously, bouncing lightly and trying to keep it out of your fucking head because if you let it in it was all over they'd come in and get you they'd hurt you they're pla𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯-- like you just got slapped in the face, surfaced from deep, scary waters- you were back, breathing heavily and whimpering.

you sat down hard, pressing yourself into the almost-icy white tiles of the bathroom floor, pulling in deep, calming breaths and closing your eyes. you placed your hands flat on the tiles, them heating up quickly under your skin, transferring the cool to you. you focused on that soothing feeling, 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘯, 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘶𝘵, press your hands down harder. you stood, still shaky, and forced yourself out the door.

"hey, did you fall in?" steve looked at you, a genial smile on his face. it disgusted you to see someone act so innocent who was capable of so much. you silently shook your head, leaving him in confusion as you always loved his stupid jokes.

you walked quickly to your desk, gathering up your things and pushing in your chair quickly. you turned away from your desk and proceeded to your floor.

"FRIDAY, please lock my floor. override anyone's requests to get in."

"yes, ms. (y/n)."

"thank you."

you opened the door to your room and flopped exhaustedly onto your bed, falling asleep for a couple hours. you were awoken by FRIDAY informing you that someone had forced their way onto your floor, sending you careening out of bed and onto the floor in a tangle of bedsheets. you grabbed up a couple knives and freed yourself from your makeshift toga, poised and ready to strike when natasha came into the room. you dropped the blades instantly, your intestines detangling and launched yourself at her, tears already forming. she caught you easily, and just set you down on the bed and cuddled up next to you, pressing her lithe frame to your slightly taller one and wrapping her arms around your middle. she placed kisses around and on your shoulders while you dozed off, one hand wrapped tightly around hers. she didn't say anything, just waited for you to sleep before she fell asleep after you.