Love
After Gilgamesh had more or less taken the lead, everything had happened quickly, if not quite fast enough for her liking.
Before the sun had even risen an inch above the meadows of Ajak's farm, one of the cars had set off towards the small town hoping that the carcasses of the suspected Deviants would still be there for investigation.
What would happen if that wasn't the case, or if they wouldn't provide answers, they hadn't talked about and she didn't want to welcome the thought in her mind either. She was generally a positive person but she could also be very realistic. If she wanted to.
Which she absolutely did not because to even come close to the thought of losing him made Makkari's heart ache as if it was about to combust. It was more painful than a Deviants bite, more painful than the ache that came with being hit by Ikaris' lasers full front and more painful even than the betrayal it had come along with.
Makkari was unwlling to go anywhere there.
Ajak stayed had behind on the farm to keep an eye on Druig and so, for various reasons and issues she had right now, Makkari had decided to stay as well, right here by his side.
It had all happened so quickly, even from her point of view. He had been okay. Everything was under control. It had been a mission like any other, like thousands, like millions of other missions before. And from one moment to the next her whole world had been shaken and now she didn't know what to believe anymore. All she knew was that she hadn't been fast enough, which raised the question of what would happen if she wasn't fast enough again. That, and the fact that the voice of reason wasn't Ajak this time. She couldn't, it couldn't be.
The question of her speed had contributed significantly to her decision not to accompany the others into the city. Instead she was now sitting here, on the steps in front of the pedestal on which her Druig lay. The thought of leaving him alone made her squirm, even though the healer of their group would be here with him even if Makkari wasn't.
The thought made her even more reluctant to leave the room.
A slight breeze from the door made her look up.
She hadn't expected to get company and certainly hadn't counted on Thena entering the infirmary, a plate with Sandwiches in her hand and dressed in a plain white dress in which she still managed to look like a goddess.
"The others left a few minutes ago" she said as a way of greeting.
Makkari frowned.
Won't you go with them?, she signed.
Thena just shrugged. "It's a recon mission, not a fight, they will be fine without me."
She sank onto the steps next to Makkari and held out a plate of sandwiches. "You hardly ate anything."
She rolled her eyes at the speedster's skeptical look. "Gilgamesh made it, not me."
And to be honest, that was very reassuring. It was not without reason that Thena had been forbidden to even help out in the kitchen. A microwave impaled on a cosmic spear and a kitchen fire had been enough for Gilgamesh to declare the cooking area thena-free zone, especially if in use.
Or, how Phastos would say, she had lost her kitchen privilege for life.
Thank you, Makkari signed. She placed the plate with the sandwich by her side and continued. Not only for the food I mean.
Thena's lips moved up in a small smile. "For what then?"
For protecting him, she replied. You were the first to help me.
"You know that the others wouldn't have allowed it, even without me, right?
She did know that but then again, they had had a hard time while deciding if they would allow the Emergence to happen or not, or when Thena's first Mahd Wy'ry attack had occurred, hadn't they?
Maybe such tough decisions just forced them to choose differently than they wanted to. What was right was not always what you wanted, after all.
Still, you were the first to stand up to Ajak. It's not easy, it's Ajak.
And they all knew exactly what authority Ajak had. She could be strict and still, to this day, somehow seemed to know more than most of them. A source of knowledge and care that invoked a instinctual trust.
Though basically all created by Arishem at more or less the same time, it still seemed like Ajak possessed a wisdom of old age that none of the others even came close to matching.
Ever since they first set foot on this planet, Ajak had protected them, all of them. Through their healing powers, but also in more subtle ways.
She'd offered advice where it was needed, and support, protection, and a nudge or two in the right direction at other moments.
Ajak had always had something motherly about her, something that inspired a kind of basic trust in humans and Eternals alike. You felt comfortable with her, understood and supported.
That's why it hurt Makkari so much more that her former leader, whom she, deep down, still wanted to trust so much, from whom she had hoped for a shoulder to lean on like countless times before, apparently just didn't want to understand that she almost had made a terrible mistake. And twice now.
The speedster wanted to trust her. She really wanted to, even when her beloved had gotten injured her first instinct had been to get hi to Ajak, she would fix him, heal him and it would be fine again.
Exept it hadn't been. And now, with the way things had become in the last few hours she just wasn't sure if she could trust her former leader like that again.
No, when something as valuable as Druig was at stake, she couldn't.
The realization weighed heavily and yet she actually surprised Makkari little. Seven millennia of almost blind trust in Ajak just evaporated when it came to Druig or anything that could harm him.
When it came to protecting him, she would take on Arishem himself if she had to. No matter what the consequences, and regardless of the fact that she wouldn't stand a chance.
She would do all of this single-handily if the need arose. Still, it felt good to have Thena by her side.
The warrior goddess said something, but Makkari had been too lost in her thoughts to really pay attention to the vibrations in her voice, so she looked up questioningly and Thena repeated herself.
"Ajak is Ajak." she said calmly. "She's not infallible, even though she may seem so, and even though we all assumed she was."
All but one.
Makkari looked back over her shoulder at the platform and her sleeping man.
And even though she was not a mind reader herself, Thena obviously understood her perfectly.
"Hm yes." she said, following Makkari's gaze. "All of us, except Druig, of course. Sometimes I get the feeling this boy knows what's best for us long before we do."
And oh, wasn't that right?
For her even more than for the others. But even with them, he always knew exactly how to take them, what made them livid, how to push their buttons and when and in what way it was appropriate to talk to them or to keep quiet. Whatever the situation at hand required, he knew it.
He was not as perceptive as Sersi or Phastos, as outgoing as Kingo or Gilgamesh, Sprite or even Makkari herself, and did not claim authority like Ikaris, Ajak, and, though in a different way, Thena did with just their strong presence.
Druig often stood by the sideline but watched and understood much more than the others often gave him credit for.
Most of all, he listened. To the humans, to them, to her. And he wasn't so blindly trusting in Ajak's authority that he followed her though every order. What had previously gotten him in trouble more often tan not was that he questioned things because he saw his environment and understood people. Humans. Their pain, their feelings, their meaning.
It was basically what had saved them all, his decision to take a different path that had forced the others to do the same.
Her stupid, wayward, compassionate, gentle Druig.
Makkari balled her hands into fists.
He was right there and yet, she longed for him. For his presence in her thoughts, for warm touches on her skin, for gentle smiles meant only for her.
She longed for their little shoulder bumps in the hallway and soft lips whispering things to her that she couldn't hear but still understood perfectly.
It was almost impressive how much you could miss someone who was right there.
"You are worried." Thena spelled out the obvious, but Makkari wasn't in the mood to joke or point out something like 'no shit Sherlock'.
I'm just wondering. What if that Deviant can't give us an answer?
"Then there'd still be Ajak's method." The warrior shook her head at Makkari's alarmed expression. "I know. It's not an option, I agree."
I can't understand Ajak, she finally admitted.
Frustration and anger and that fierce protectiveness that had been boiling beneath her surface since that day on the beach came dangerously close to boiling over.
She got up to stalk the room, silently signing, the Sandwich long forgotten. She couldn't sit still anymore. Standing still for too long had always been unnatural for her and now there was this wild tangle of negative feelings that wanted to turn into energy, into movement, into speed.
A deep need to run until she felt better washed over her, but it was overshadowed by an equally strong need to stay and protect Druig.
It was maddening to her.
I suppose she means well, I suppose she tries to take care of us but we have done that without her for long enough to have our own options now. And we all know Druig's on this topic.
Thena watched her pacing around with a patient expression, well used to how she was.
If he forgot everything...
"Then he wouldn't be Druig anymore." the blonde Eternal said.
It hit the mark harder than Makkari wanted to admit, so she just nodded. Finding the right words seemed like an overwhelming challenge to her.
Thena clapped her hands together and stood up as well. "If there is one thing I will always want to remember then it is love."
Love?
To a certain degree that was unexpected, enough so to make Mackari stop her pacing for a moment. One should think that Thena, the mightiest warrior known to mankind, should have favored an instinct in battle or the knowledge of vulnerability of her enemies. Love was not that high on the list of things one would expect from the goddess that the ancient Greeks had called Athena.
"Yes. Love. It comes i many different forms and shapes. The love for a home you build, a friend, a brother..." Her gaze wandered briefly to the platform, flashing with emotions of her own, before she turned to Makkari again.
"Gligamesh once told me, when I asked him why he sacrificed his free life to stay by my side, that when you love someone, you protect them. That is not a burden but the most natural thing in the world , Makkari."
And for some reason, that calmed the raging emotions inside of her a little bit. The need to run faded slightly, without vanishing entirely, but the hum of cosmic energy coursing through her body, just waiting to be released, leveled off.
She had a feeling as if she had come to understand Thena a little better than before and vice versa.
"You can run, you know?" she said after a stretch of silence that was not necessarily uncomfortable. "I'll stay here. I'll keep protecting him."
And for the first time since hours, Makkari smiled an honest smile.
I know.