Everything
The palace was busier than Sigyn had seen it in a long time. They were getting ready for another important guest. The family of nobles Theo had mentioned on several of their dates now. Sigyn wished it was Indunn, she was the only noble worth all the fuss in Sigyn’s opinion.
She was struggling to focus on her chores recently too. The long days made longer by worry. She couldn’t stop thinking about Loki. He seemed okay now, almost back to normal. Sulking around as usual, but what he had confessed, it wasn’t something that just went away. She was worried about him, and confused. First he had seemed wary of Fandral, now they were friendlier than ever. She hoped it was what he needed right now. She hoped he had found support, and luckily it didn’t have to be her.
Sigyn finished making the guest bed, wiping sweat from her brow. Lifting the huge mattresses afforded to royal visitors was no easy task. She mocked flexing her muscles as she had seen the older of the two princes do countless times. Asny snorted (derogatory) from where she folded clean towels in the corner. Sigyn blew her a kiss, nothing was going to ruin her mood so close to the end of the workday. She had another date and she could barely contain her excitement.
Sigyn felt lighter than air, might as well have sprouted wings, as she left the palace and the cobblestone streets became crowded with everyday people. Her blood sang with adrenaline and excitement. It was going to be a good day. Her skirts were heavy with concealed steel, its presence and the deception made her giddy.
Theo had been teaching her the basics of combat, or self defense as he called it because a lady didn’t learn to fight. Sigyn had pointed out Sif and he had reminded her that every rule had an exception. Still, regardless of what it might technically be, Sigyn was excited to learn more. She would not be helpless. It had already come in handy once against Loki, she had a feeling it would come in handy again. She should have used it more than once. She didn’t know why she hadn’t. She told herself it was because she wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t second nature yet, it wasn’t her first impulse to fight back against him with anything more than words.
Theo met her in the restaurant. She paused upon entry, taking in the chandeliers and rich woven carpeting. This was nice, he was spoiling her. The hostess eyed her, probably wondering at the presence of an unaccompanied lady. Her eyes found Theo across the space. He already had a table and a drink in front of him and was chatting with the barmaid. His eyes found her by the door and lit up. He stood and met her at the door. “You’re late,” he greeted, smiling as he said it so that she knew he wasn’t truly angry.
“Only by a few minutes, I’m so sorry,” Sigyn replied, accepting his extended arm and clutching his bicep. The hostess let them pass with lowered eyes. “The palace has been in an uproar lately preparing for a visit. The noble family has finally decided-”
“To treat with your royals, yes I’m sure you’ve been very busy.” He pulled out her chair as they reached the table. “Could we get a wine?” he requested of the lingering barmaid. She departed to fulfill the request.
Sigyn fought her disappointment at the drink order. “I- yeah. How did you know?” she took her seat and watched him round the table.
He shrugged and laughed, “Everyone knows everything that visiting nobility chooses to do. It’s the talk of the town.”
“I always feel so behind when we speak of them,” Sigyn sighed. “You’d think that living in the palace would give me a leg up in such things.”
“You underestimate city gossip. It’s rare to find someone who doesn’t know all the little details.”
“And yet, I don’t even know what they look like. It’s embarrassing, you must find me so…” she trailed off, unsure of her words.
“Charming?” he finished with his pretty smile, the crooked one that made her cheeks turn pink.
“You’re too sweet to me.” A glass of wine was set in front of her. She thanked the girl with a smile. Theo’s glass, not even half empty, was refilled.
He barely spared her glance, eyes trained on Sigyn. “Tell me what you think, it’s a good wine and a good year.”
Sigyn took a tentative sip. She didn’t like it. She didn’t like the heat that flooded her mouth and lingered in her throat or the heavy, sickening feeling that stayed too long in the back of her head. She fought the expression her face wanted to make, the pinching of her lips and wrinkling of her nose. Her muscles itched. She nodded, “mm” she lied. She swirled the glass and sniffed it like Loki would do at dinner. She wasn’t waitstaff often, thankfully, but she immediately recognized the scent of the drink in front of her. “This is the prince’s favorite,” she commented.
“Good nose,” Theo praised.
The barmaid had remained against the wall behind him. This was the nicest restaurant he had taken her to so far, but still that level of service seemed over the top. There were other tables that needed attention too. Other tables that were curiously quiet. Was the social culture between classes truly so different? She was suddenly aware of all the eyes that seemed focused on the two of them.
He noticed her distraction. “We’re a little out of place,” he admitted, glancing around the room with her. “I wanted to give you a taste of something… nicer.”
Her stomach dropped. She was suddenly aware of the quality of her dress, the newly repaired hems that seemed so obvious now, the faded blue color. Indunn’s beautiful necklace that she would never have been able to afford herself was the only piece of her outfit that seemed to measure up to the standard of finery around her. “Thank you, I don’t want to be a bother, though.”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. Have you looked at the menu, do you know what you want?”
“Not yet.”
“That’s okay, they have really good fish here- oh but you can’t have red wine with fish. Here, let me order.”
The waitress approached like she had been waiting for a cue. Theo placed an order that sounded like something Queen Frigga would eat. Could he afford this? Obviously, if he knew the menu so well. How often did he come? How much money did he make? Where did he work? Sigyn suddenly realized that she knew very little about this man aside from the fact that he lived here, somewhere, and appreciated art, and knew how to handle a blade. How had they skipped over such vital information?
“Theo,” she started, “What do you do?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, brows furrowing in confusion.
“How do you earn money?”
“Oh! I can afford this, I assure you, please do not worry-”
“No, Theo,” Sigyn interrupted, “just answer the question. I don’t understand how we’ve been seeing each other for so long and I don’t know these things.”
“Oh, well…” he trailed off like he had to think about this, “I own property and I… profit off of those who live there. Gods, that sounds bad, doesn’t it.” He laughed awkwardly.
“So you’re a landlord?”
“Yes!” he agreed enthusiastically like she had handed him a gift.
“Why didn’t you just say that?”
He shrugged, “I’m still finding out how much you know of life beyond the palace. I wasn’t sure you knew what a landlord is.”
“I know what a landlord is,” she scoffed, feeling insulted, “I’m not that hopeless.”
He grinned at her, “I don’t know, could have fooled me.”
She kicked him under the table, eliciting more laughter.
When the food arrived, it was the best thing Sigyn had ever put in her mouth.
They left the restaurant laughing as usual. Theo’s hand rested on the small of her back, guiding her and keeping her close as they navigated the streets. Sigyn had finished the glass of wine in an effort to be polite, and then the waitress had refilled it, so she had sipped from that one as well. She felt slightly foggy and very warm. Was this pathetic? Should she be embarrassed? Loki could have endless glasses and never lose his wit. Was she just an extremely light weight? She found herself resorting to clutching Theo’s arm again to keep steady in the swirling crowd.
They made their way to the secluded park where they went often to practice her self-defense. She remembered the knife in her skirt and felt a spark of excitement drive away some of the sluggishness left from the drink.
“What are you teaching me tonight?” She asked.
Theo laughed, “I don’t know if bladework is a good idea tonight. You seem a little unsteady. I assume you do not drink often.”
“Never,” Sigyn admitted, “I’m not sure I like it.” She sat heavily on a bench and rubbed her temples like that would help.
He sat beside her, his hand gliding through her hair and scratching her head. She let it drop to his shoulder and closed her eyes.
“You’re so pretty, Sigyn.” Theo whispered and raised her chin.
She smiled at him. “You too.”
His crooked grin split his face at her words. “Thank you.” Then he kissed her softly, drawing her close and slipping his fingers through her hair. He feathered kisses along her jaw, nibbling at her ear. Sigyn felt her face warm and kissed him back with half as much skill. His finger tugged at the neckline of her dress.
She stood, pulling away and crossing her arms across her chest. “Not here,” she giggled.
“Oh please? Please, Sigyn, I beg of you,” he said, dropping to his knees and crawling after her for dramatics.
“We’re in public,” she protested, giggling nervously at his antics. She wasn’t drunk enough for this.
“There’s no one here, and I came all this way to see you,” Theo reminded her, grasping at her hips from his position on the ground. “And then you had the nerve to be late. Make it worth it for me.” He grabbed the hand she had meant to push him away, and kissed the inside of her wrist.
“So I’m not worth it if I keep my clothes on?” she teased. She was fairly certain it was teasing, but now that she thought about it, there had scarcely been a night when they had spent time together without finding somewhere to disappoint her mother.
He stood, and kissed her again, “I love you,” he said, a smile crinkling the corners of his warm eyes.
What? The fog from the wine dissipated entirely with those three words.
Sigyn stared at him, hardly aware of the time that passed in her silence. Maybe he wasn’t aware either, still intent on worshiping her neck and collarbone with his mouth. How long had they been seeing each other? Was there a schedule for this sort of thing? Were they supposed to say it now? Did you reach a certain number of months or dates and then have to decide one way or another? Had they reached it? Why now?
“Love you, Sigyn,” he said again, the words muffled against her skin, “Do you love me?”
She opened her mouth and for a split second nothing came out. She felt disconnected from the scene, watching him touch her without truly feeling a single fingerprint. “Of course I do,” she finally squeezed out, “Of course I do.” She did, of course she did. She always looked forward to seeing him. He was the world to her outside of the golden palace gates. The truth was, he was everything. Everything. She had given him her body, and her trust, and everything she had to give. Would she have done that with someone she didn’t love?
He smiled brilliantly at her answer, honey brown eyes lighting up, and kissed her passionately. She returned it best she could.
“I’m going to marry you one day,” he promised, their breath mingling between them, “Take you away from the royals you hate so much.” And then he was tugging her dress off her shoulders.