Get Help
Thor could be incredibly stupid. It wasn’t so much that he lacked intelligence, just that he never stopped to use it. Somehow, the Allfather had decided a boy like that was the perfect candidate to carry a weapon like Mjolnir. He seemed to grasp the hammer's importance though, enough that he certainly gained an ego along with it. Enough that it was a surprise to hear he lost it. A big, unpleasant surprise. It was not a surprise that he came to Loki for help. He always went to Loki for help. Loki knew how to fix things and he was smart. If Thor had a problem, he went to Loki. If Loki had a problem he couldn’t solve, he most likely stuffed it down deep where he’d never feel it again rather than ask for help. He didn’t need to work on vulnerability or trust. He was fine.
“Loki!” Thor called urgently, sprinting down the hall to reach his little brother, “brother, I need your help.” He wasn’t carrying his hammer for once.
Loki paused in the middle of a very wide and very busy hall, “Did you cause more trouble?” he wondered with a grin.
“Oh haha,” he articulated sarcastically, “Yes I’m an idiot. Come on,” Thor grabbed his arm and dragged him out of the crowds to an isolated corridor.
“Hey!” Loki protested, “Is this how people beg for help these days? I don’t appreciate being dragged through the palace like an animal-”
“Shut up, Loki. I did something bad. I messed up.”
One time Thor had accidentally almost caused a war between the crown and an angry nobleman (clumsy hammer-work), so Loki thought it perfectly reasonable to ask “More than usual?”
“Listen!” Thor shook him.
Loki opened his mouth to make another smart remark about how shaking your only hope of salvation wasn’t the way to make them want to save you, but he stopped. Thor looked much more stressed out than usual. There were tears lining his eyes and his cape was crooked. Gods forbid the cape be crooked.
“Alright,” he relented, “What’s wrong?”
His brother glanced up and down their corridor as though making sure they were alone before saying in a hoarse whisper, “I lost Mjolnir.”
Loki blinked, “What.” he had to have heard him wrong. Thor wasn’t the brightest, but he knew how important the hammer was. He wasn’t stupid enough to lose it. “You lost the Hammer. Thor are you insane? Father will kill you.”
“Well I was hoping we could get it back before he found out,” Thor replied.
“Get it back? You mean find it, right?”
“Well… I didn’t really lose it- I mean I know where it is. I just can’t get it because a giant stole it from me, and I can’t fight a giant without my hammer.” Thor said it all very fast in one breath as though getting it over with quickly would somehow make it better. It didn’t. The whole situation made Loki want to break centuries worth of trust just so that he wasn’t in any way associated when their father inevitably found out.
“You want me to help you get your hammer back from a giant.” Loki outlined for them.
“Yes.” Thor nodded, begging him with his eyes to help out, “Will you?
Loki stared at his brother a moment, entertaining fantasies of refusing and walking away. He could, he could just say ‘no, figure it out’. He didn’t have to get involved… except he did. He did because Thor was his brother, and if they sometimes fought savagely, they could still rely on each other in times of need. He sighed, “Yes, I’ll help you. I will most definitely get into a heap of trouble, but I will.”
“Thank you,” Thor grabbed him quickly in a tight embrace before releasing him, “How do we get it back?”
A few hours later found Loki in her feminine form and Thor trying to hide his beard behind a veil while Freyja snickered because he could not pull off a dress to save his life.
Which was precisely what he was trying to do.
The giant had offered to trade Mjolnir for Freyja’s hand in marriage. She was the most beautiful woman in all the nine realms. Odin had been so entranced that he had named her the goddess of love and beauty. However, sometimes a title like that was more of a curse than a blessing. The Goddess of beauty was greatly coveted by people all over, and the beauty standards of many races were impacted and set by her appearance. Pale skin, blue eyes, gold hair, rosy lips. Her nose was small and perfect, her neck was long and slender, her body was shaped like an hourglass. There was no one immune to her charm, man or woman. It was no wonder that some men were willing to do whatever it took to possess her. When Loki and Thor had arrived to see if she would be willing to marry a giant, it had been a firm no. One Loki hadn’t even tried to negotiate because valid. So now Thor was going to disguise himself as the goddess of beauty, and she as his handmaiden so they could go and trick this giant out of a hammer.
“What if you shaved,” Loki suggested with a smirk. Thor’s hair was braided with flowers to match the bouquet in his hands. Sjofn, one of Freyja’s handmaidens, was trying to give her brother the appearance of curves without stuffing the bodice of the dress.
“Not happening,” Thor replied, “Why can’t you shift and be Freyja?”
“I promised I would never go blonde,” she answered. She was also really enjoying watching Thor, the epitome of masculinity, dress as the epitome of femininity, and didn’t want to provide alternatives.
“You’d look horrible,” Freyja agreed. During their brief time together, Loki had learned that the lady was not afraid to say exactly what she thought at any given time. Even when it was rude. Though she was typically pretty open minded. She hadn’t batted an eye when the god of mischief had shown up as the god-dess. Neither had her handmaidens Sjofn and Lofn. Both, she understood, were goddesses associated with love. Sjofn was the goddess of falling in love, the first sparks of passion. Lofn was the goddess of forbidden love and any love that did not conform to the usual standard. Sjofn’s ears were slightly tapered and Loki wondered if she had any elvish blood in her veins. She was certainly pretty enough.
“Thank you, I wanted to hear that from the goddess of beauty.” Loki drawled.
“Well if it helps, I think you look beautiful as you are now,” she offered with a wink. Loki would be lying if she said she hadn’t blushed. And hated herself for it. How basic was she to fall for the goddess of beauty. She wondered what Sigyn would think of Freyja. Both handmaidens smiled at her. What would she think of them? Loki didn’t trust anyone who had the potential to affect or control his feelings.
“Loki,” said Thor, his voice muffled from the veil, “why is it that shifting into animals or changing the color of your hair is so difficult, but going from male to female is easy?”
Loki blinked, caught off guard by the question. She had never thought about it before, and people tended to avoid conversation about this particular skill, but she supposed it was “Because it’s like going from me to me. It’s barely a shift at all. Changing my coloring, or becoming an animal is becoming something I’m not. I am not a snake, I am not blonde. I am Loki.” She self consciously played with the braids Lofn had put in her hair, awaiting Thor’s reaction. Sigyn had understood.
"You look like you."
“That makes sense,” Thor decided, no judgment in his tone, “Would I call you sister when you're like this?”
Loki felt herself smile at Thor’s acceptance. Her brother did not call her unnatural or say it was strange. He loved her regardless of shape. “Yeah, I think so.” Her insides that were so used to being frozen melted a bit. Thor smiled back, his hand found her shoulder and rested there a second. He looked ridiculous in the wedding dress. So ridiculous Loki had to laugh, and Thor joined her.
“You must wear this, so that he knows it’s me- or thinks it is,” Freyja fastened a glittering necklace around Thor’s throat, “The Brísinga Necklace.”
Loki thanked her because Thor was too busy looking mortified to do so. The necklace was beautiful and Loki wanted to wear it herself. She wondered where Freyja had gotten it and resolved herself to ask when they returned it to her.
Sjofn and Lofn backed away when Freyja decided Thor was as pretty and feminine as he was likely to get. The royal siblings said their thank you’s and left the Lady’s residence to ride through the city towards the rainbow bridge. Loki thought about asking what Thor had been doing in Jotunheim, as that’s the only way a giant could have stolen the hammer, but she refrained. Thor hadn’t offered up the information, Loki wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She didn’t want to regret getting involved any more than she already did.
Heimdall wasn’t an issue. He waved them through into the golden observatory with an expression halfway between scolding and amused. He already knew what was going on, had probably been watching them the entire time. Loki didn’t trust Heimdall either. Anyone who could see her whenever they wanted regardless of proximity was dangerous, but she plastered on a smile. The guardian couldn’t read minds.
“Thank you,” she said as Thor led his horse inside, “I know you’re sworn to my father, but do you think you could not tell him about this unless he asks you explicitly?”
“If I planned to tell him, I would have already.”
Loki bowed and froze as she straightened up- should she have curtsied? It didn’t matter, she was a royal. Heimdall at most was her equal. He couldn’t say a word about her awkward mannerisms. She made herself turn as though nothing had happened and stride after her brother to the bifrost. The guardian turned his sword and opened the gate to Jotunheim, and the siblings stepped through with their mounts to find their hammer.
The home of the Giants was bleak and dark and cold. The frost giants lived here, they had destroyed this place with their icy aggression. Now, the casket was stored safely in Asgard, but its power had been responsible for the destruction all around them. The planet was dark stone, the ruined architecture had been carved into the mountains and rocks, but was now cracked and frozen over. Nothing grew here, it was a wonder anything could make a life in this frozen wasteland.
“It’s freezing,” Thor hissed, “How are you not shivering?”
“It’s not that cold,” Loki replied with a disdainful look at her brother’s shaking form, “Now, the giant we’re looking for is not a frost giant, correct?”
“Correct.”
“So we do not want to run into one. Let’s do this quickly and quietly. Lead the way.”
The two swung into their saddles and Thor took the lead, galloping ahead across the hard ground. They went up a steep incline, their horses stumbling over uneven ground and loose stones. At the top of the hill was a giant dark structure, loosely resembling a manor or castle. The walls and spires were cracked and crumbling like the rest of this miserable planet.
“How are you not cold?” Thor hissed, rubbing his arms. He was covered in goosebumps and his teeth were chattering.
“You should have let Sjofn stuff your dress. Now shut up, if they can’t tell immediately, your voice is a dead giveaway to your lack of feminine assets.” Loki maneuvered her horse to lead, now that they were close. They slowed as they approached the gate. A giant stood before it, guarding the way in.
“I have come to deliver Freyja, goddess of beauty, as promised for the return of the hammer Mjolnir.” Loki announced as they approached, “I am her handmaiden Sjofn, goddess of passion.”
The giant opened the gate with a single mighty push. He was an ugly thing with wild hair and an unkempt beard. He eyed them greedily as they passed into the estate of his master. Loki shivered then for the first time since passing into this realm of ice and despair. Thor seemed not to notice, but Loki was aware of how the monster’s eyes lingered on her and dipped from her face to her chest. She sat up straight in her saddle and did not look back.
They followed a path forward to the doors of the building where two more giants took their horses. The doors were opened and inside was Thrymr. Thor had neglected to mention that it was the Giant King who had stolen Mjolnir. Loki shot him a glare but hid it as she curtsied low. They were going to die or start a war or die. If they got back to Asgard in one piece, she’d stab him.
“My Lord,” she addressed him, “My lady Freyja,” she gestured to Thor behind her who curtsied awkwardly. There was no way this worked.
King Thrymr smiled, showing off yellowed teeth. He was at least 15 feet tall with red eyes and matching matted hair. He made Thor look feminine and lovely in comparison. In his hand was the hammer they were going to die for, “Welcome,” he said. His voice was cold and cruel. He held himself in an arrogant, entitled manner. He was the type of man women were taught to fear and Loki was shot through with ice cold hatred and panic. Was Thor afraid? No, of course not. Thor had been willing to give Freyja to this monster for real.
Thrymr gestured for them to follow him and led them through his halls. Here and there were faded tapestries along the walls, and windows overlooking the rocky landscape. Here and there Loki caught the glimmer of gold and jewels, but mostly the treasure displayed were bones. Finally they came to brutally carved double doors which Thrymr pushed open casually as though they didn’t weigh a ton each. Inside was a long table. Other giants sat on benches, but two spaces near the head were empty. Thryrmr pulled out the giant stone chair at the end of the table and sat himself down. He motioned for them to take their places on the benches on either side.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” The giant king called and a hush fell over the assembled monsters. “My bride, Freyja,” he placed a giant hand on Thor’s back. The giants clapped politely, all straining to get a closer look at the so-called goddess of beauty, “let’s eat.”
Plates and platters were set on the table by a team of servants, an endless stream of food flowed in from the kitchen. Portions were served and taken, cups were filled with mead, and the feasting began. Loki nibbled at the food on her plate, too nervous to eat much and disgusted by the displayed table manners. Thor, however, ate whatever touched his plate and drank tankard after tankard of drink.
“My, what an appetite my bride has. I thought the goddess of beauty would show some restraint,” Thrymr commented, grinning humorously but there was an edge to his words.
“My lady has not eaten in days, so excited was she for you. She has not slept either, and is not looking her best. I hope you will forgive us,” Loki lied, sending a pointed look at her brother. Thor set down his fork.
“Of course. I understand. Would you have come had your prince’s hammer not been on the line?” the giant held Mjolnir aloft to brag that he had taken it from the Aesir. The giants laughed and clapped at his display, “Well, bride?”
Thor nodded silently.
Thrymr grinned, finding nothing suspicious with the answer and confidently placed Mjolnir in Thor’s lap, “There’s your prize lady, though you would rather have me.” the giants chuckled.
“Thank you,” Thor said and swung the hammer into Thrymr’s forehead. The giant king dropped, slumping into the food before him, out cold. Thor ripped away his veil and leapt from his seat. “C’mon Loki,” he shouted, an adrenaline fueled smile splitting his face.
Loki stood, following his lead and wishing they had thought through a better plan as she looked out over the sea of angry giants. Thor raced across the table and grabbed her arm tugging her with him as they jumped over one line of enemies and sprinted to the doors. The heavy stone doors that were closed. Loki could hear the giants behind them begin to make noises of vengeful excitement as they realized their visitors were trapped.
“Some magic would be nice, sister,” Thor said as they neared the barricade.
Loki stopped short and forced her hands out with a blast of magic that sent the doors flying outwards and open. They ran through, into the corridors beyond. Thor was whooping his praise of her power display and alerting any other giants of their whereabouts. They didn’t know how to get out and Thor was calling every possible enemy to them.
“We need a better plan,” Loki hissed.
“It’s going great, what do you mean?” Thor laughed.
“We’re being chased by a horde of angry giants.”
“Exactly.”
“No Thor!” Loki snapped, “Not good, we don’t know the way out!”
“Do you have magic for that?” Thor asked as they continued sprinting. The thin bridal gown billowed out behind him. Flowers streamed from his hair, leaving a trail of petals.
Did she have magic for that? “Maybe, but I need a giant. Preferably one that won’t kill me.”
Loki stopped them short before they could turn a corner into another corridor. She peeked around the walls. A group of giants were loitering before another set of doors in a wider hall. She recognized some of the tapestries here.
“So, I think I found the way out,” she whispered, “but there’s maybe 5 giants guarding our exit.”
“Put your arm around my neck,” Thor replied in an equally hushed manner.
“What? No. Why would I do that?”
“Trust me,” he urged, “I have a plan.”
“This better be good,” Loki grumbled, doing as she was told.
“Just go with it,” Thor replied and then heaved them around the corner, “Get help!” he screamed at some very confused giants, “Please, get help! My sister is dying!” with the last word Thor swung Loki’s body up and heaved her at their enemies. She flew across the room and collided with them at their necks, bringing them all down in a heap.
She groaned and rolled to her feet in time to see Thor raising his hammer over one of their victims. “Don’t kill them, we don’t want a war!” she exclaimed.
“Well we can’t let them come after us!”
“So knock them out!”
Thor brought his hammer down on the ground instead of the giant and his electricity and strength sent shockwaves through the pile of opponents. Loki was sent to her knees, but she was back on her feet in a second and forcing the doors open with her magic. They were greeted by a blast of cold air.
“For the record, that was a horrible plan,” she griped as they left the manor and raced towards the gates.
“It worked, didn’t it?” Thor panted.
“It was humiliating,” Loki complained.
“Not for me it wasn’t,” her brother grinned. They reached the gate and this time Thor blasted it from its hinges with Mjolnir. The giant who had eyed them before made no move to stop them as they left Thrymr and his court of nightmares behind. Thor raised his hammer to the overcast sky, “Heimdall, bring us home!”
The observatory and the watchful guardian were a welcome sight. Asgard felt hot compared to where they had been. Laughter twinkled in Heimdall’s golden eyes. “Welcome back. You left the horses.”
“We kept our lives,” Loki replied. “I am never helping you again,” she told Thor, “You didn’t say it was the giant king who had your hammer!”
“Apologies. I think it went very well, all things considered.”
“Fly us to the palace please.” Her voice was loaded with venom.
Thor suppressed a grin as he grabbed her and began spinning his hammer, “Thank you Heimdall!” he called and they were off through the skies. Their dresses fluttered in the wind and the last of Thor’s flowers left his hair. Freyja’s necklace sparkled in the light of the setting sun.
They touched down on one of the terraces and Loki pulled away, “I am going to walk away before I stab you,” she said, but she didn’t even manage to leave the terrace before she was stopped.
“Ah, the princesses of Asgard return,” Sigyn teased, looking at Thor as she said it. Her dark eyes glittered humorously as she took in his bridal gown and sparkling jewelry. She was wearing pink, nowhere close to her favorite shade. “For future reference, you probably shouldn’t fly with a dress on.”
“Did you miss us?” Loki sneered, though she felt her cheeks color slightly. Had Sigyn seen up their skirts? Why wasn’t she paying attention to her?
“Don’t flatter yourself, my Lady. No one missed you,” Sigyn replied quickly. “Where were you?” Her question was directed at Thor. Loki was left grinning at the insult without any attention from her favorite enemy. Ice cold hatred settled in her stomach at Sigyn’s complete disregard. She was infuriating, though Loki would take Sigyn over giants any day. It was honestly luck that they hadn’t run into any Frost Giants. The luck did not extend to infuriating servants.
“Sibling bonding,” Thor replied, “Loki was about to stab me.”
“You must have had a great time.”
“It was lovely,” Loki muttered. “I can return the necklace, Thor.” Her brother managed to unclasp the delicate jewelry with minimal difficulty, and passed it over. She left Sigyn and Thor alone on the terrace.