It happened so long ago, but I could still feel it.
The fissures and tears in the group.
The tension if the wrong people were in the room at the same time.
It devoured us, separated us, and left us lost.
I took no side. I saw the faults of both, and I just left.
I left them behind, and started a new life.
I heard about the aftermath, the fight in Germany, the Captain and his group becoming fugitives, while Tony disappeared from the limelight he used to stand in.
Eventually, they came back together, but it wasn’t the same. Even from the news footage, those old wounds hadn’t yet healed, but merely scabbed over. If someone was to pick at it, the old arguments and issues would bleed through.
I didn’t rejoin when the others did. I kept to myself, continuing the life I had created for myself, the one I dreamed of before my life as an Avenger.
I owned a cafe in a small town. I prided myself on baked goods and delicious coffee. I left behind the life of fighting.
But life has a way of catching up with you.
For me, it came in the form of a man, usually clad in green and gold, today wearing a solid black suit. Subtly was never his forte as I was told.
“Welcome to- Oh no.” I muttered, the greeting dying on my lips.
“Hello. I’d like to keep this short and sweet. Come back to New York. They want you back.” He spoke, crossing his arms once he reached the counter.
“No. I left that behind. Anyways, they don’t want me back, they want their mediator. I refuse.” I spoke, matching his stance.
“They said you’d say that,” He sighed, quarter turning as the bell above the door rang out, indicating another customer had entered, “Fine, for now I’ll take a blueberry scone.” He pointed to the display case and I was a bit shocked at how easy it was. Then the ‘For now’ of his statement hit me, and I scowled once more.
I got him the pastry, he paid and left, and the next customer, a regular, approached the counter.
~
The rest of the day passed without incident. I said goodbye to the last customer at the door, turned over the closed sign, and let the door swing shut as I walked back to the counter.
Except the door didn’t click closed. I turned around to find the same Norse God that had bothered me earlier in the day, standing in the doorway, the door finally shutting behind him.
“Pardon the intrusion.” He said, and all I could manage was a sigh.
“I’ve just closed, what could you possibly want?” I asked, not looking up from my current task, cleaning the espresso machine.
“A moment of your time, a moment for you to reconsider.” He said, slow footsteps signaling his approach to the counter.
“I have nothing to reconsider Loki. I’m done with it all. The drama, the infighting, and the fighting itself. I’ve found a life I’m happy in, I’m years out of practice, what could they possibly need me for?” I questioned, halting my task but still not looking up.
“You can’t lie to me, Darling. You were once sidelined for three months, and when you rejoined the rest of the team it was like you never left.” He responded, and I gripped the soapy rag I was using tight, attempting not to lash out. Warm water and suds flowed between my fingers.
“I’m done with it Loki. You’re wasting your breath here, please, just leave.” I sighed, going back to my task.
“They want you back.” He stated simply.
“I won’t go.” I said through gritted teeth.
“I want you back.” He spoke again, his voice softer.
“What?” I asked, putting the rag down and finally looking at him. His posture was looser than normal, his hair not as put together as usual.
“Darling, they’re falling apart. They need you, as much as I know you hate it. And, as much as I despise admitting weakness, I need you.” He shut his eyes, sighing.
“Loki… I’ve built a life here. I can’t just leave at the drop of a hat. I have my own responsibilities now,” I took a breath in, turning back towards the machine, shakily picking up the rag and slowly going back to the task “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“I… I understand, Love,” He turned away, walking towards the door before stopping in the middle of the room, “It has been lovely seeing you again, even though it is under less than lovely circumstances. The others… they may also come here, asking you to return.”
“I appreciate the warning,” I said, a lump building in my throat and tears welling in my eyes, “And Loki?”
“Yes?”
“Be careful out there. For me.”
“Of course, Love.”
And with that, he left.
The next morning, he did not return.
In the coming weeks, other Avengers sought me out, asking me to come back.
I gave them all the same answer.