Chapter 9
Chapter 9
When Thor woke up the next morning, Loki was still lying in his arms. With one look at him, Thor knew their situation hadn't improved in any way. The skin of his lover had still an unnatural pink flush to it, Loki was sweating, trembling and coughing violently in his sleep. But the thing that worried Thor the most was his labored breathing. Loki's breaths were flat and raspy and he didn't seem to get enough air. Thor sat in an instant, shaking Loki gently.
Thor: "Loki? Dear, wake up!"
Loki opened his eyes and suddenly gasped for air. Thor quickly straightened him up so he could lean against him.
Thor: "Hey, love - calm down. Everything's alright. Breathe. Slowly."
He took Loki's shaking hand into both of his and watched as Loki calmed down slowly, his breathing relaxing after a while. Then he fell back against Thor with an exhausted moan.
Loki: "D-drink - please-"
Thor quickly got the full glass from the bedside table and pushed it to Loki's lips, who drank eagerly as if he was dying of thirst. When he'd finished and Thor had put the glass aside he looked his lover down with worry in his eyes.
Thor: "Are you okay?"
Loki: "I'm-cold."
Thor hastily tightened the blanket around him and hugged the fair man, rubbing his back soothingly to give him any heat he could. A few minutes passed without a word. When Thor looked at Loki the next time, he had his eyes shut and a pained expression on his features.
Thor: "Does anything hurt?"
Loki only nodded, putting a shaky hand to his head. Thor sighed deeply. Apparently also Banner's medicine needed its time to work. He carefully brushed back Loki's hair, allowing him to lay down in his lap. He noticed the heat that still clung to Loki's skin. He couldn't know if the fever had risen but according to his guess, if it had sunken over the night it couldn't have been much. Thor waited for half an hour until he was sure Loki was back asleep. Then he carefully laid his lithe body back onto the bed, got up and got ready for work. It wasn't easy to think of leaving Loki alone in such conditions but Thor knew that if he didn't go to work today they'd have no money left and would probably run out of supplies to help Loki, which he didn't want to think about. As soon as he was finished with readying himself, cooking tea, preparing wet cloths and soup for Loki and checking the heating, he returned to the bedroom. Loki had woken up in the meantime and was shaking violently. He didn't seem to notice the elder one until he sat down next to him and gently touched his cool fingers.
Thor(whispering): "Loki?"
Loki looked into his direction but didn't really seem to focus. Thor started applying the cool cloths to his body, after changing his clothes once again. Afterwards he made him swallow the pain killers, of which he was sure Loki needed them badly. Afterwards he bent down, cuddling him once again, before straightening up.
Thor: "Loki, listen to me. I gotta go. I'll return as soon as I can, alright?"
Loki(desperate): "N-no! Stay here! Please! I c-can't handle this alone!"
Thor: "Dear, you know I'd love to if I could. But I have to go. Otherwise we won't have anything to eat for the next few days."
Loki: "I don't care! Stay with me! Please!"
Loki started gripping his cape and tried to pull him closer. Thor knew Loki was moody and didn't want to be alone in this mess, but what he knew as well was that he had to pull this through. Although it nearly broke his heart, he shoved his lover's fingers away, gripping them gently.
Thor: "Loki, I can't. You'll survive on your own for a few hours, won't you?"
Loki didn't answer, still holding onto Thor's cape and refusing to let go. Thor got noticeably stressed as he glanced towards the clock and he got impatient. He should have been gone half an hour ago.
Thor: "Loki, please - don't behave like a baby. I told you why I have to go!"
Loki: "I don't care! Stay!"
Thor: "Maybe not now, but you will care in a few days when you have nothing to eat and no medicine to ease your suffering. Loki, let go off me! Now! I don't wish to hurt you!"
Loki released his grip of Thor and pushed him away abruptly, turning away and hiding underneath the blanket. Thor stood up, glancing back at him once.
Thor: "Goodbye, Loki. See you later."
Loki didn't reply and Thor could see he was sobbing underneath the covers. He hesitated shortly, considering to turn around and return to his lover's side, but then he violently shook his head, as if he wanted to convince himself, and left the house, running to work as fast as he could.
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Work was horror today. Thor didn't talk to anyone. For he firstly didn't want to and secondly didn't even get someone was trying to communicate with him in most of the cases. All he could think of was Loki. He felt guilty because he'd left him alone, sick, crying, without saying anything to apologize or comfort him. That wasn't how he'd planned it out. He wanted his love to feel save, to feel protected, to feel loved. And Thor knew that if Loki was crying once, it hardly stopped without Thor comforting, soothing or massaging him. Normally he couldn't stand seeing Loki cry for a single minute without stepping in and touching him soothingly but today … his will had been stronger. He fought his enemies with sheer rage, hurting two more severely because he simply needed something to let go off all of his anger, frustration and disappointment of himself. As soon as the fights were done, he took the money automatically, didn't say any farewell and marched out of the arena, heading straight home. His team mates and Mr. Norwood looked after him with concern in their glances. This was the second time the normally always happy, always optimistic and always smiling Thor had acted completely out of character.
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Thor ran faster than he ever had before. He wanted to come home as soon as possible. For one because he wanted to tell Loki he was sorry and comfort him as best as he could and for another because he somehow had a bad gut feeling. It wasn't only the argument which upset him but somehow he had the feeling something was terribly wrong. As soon as he came home he didn't care about putting off his shoes and ran in with them still on, leaving dirty snow tracks on the floor. he immediately sprinted into their bedroom … and stopped in the doorframe. The bed … was empty. Loki wasn't there. For a few seconds Thor stood in shock then he erupted in sheer panic.
Thor: "Loki! LOKI! LOVE, WHERE ARE YOU?"
He started running through the house, searching everywhere he could think of. Maybe Loki had gone to the toilet and didn't make it back. But he didn't find him. Not in the bathroom, not in the kitchen, not in the living room, not anywhere in between. After 10 minutes of searching Thor leaned against a wall and tried to catch his breath, still screaming the name of his love. Then he ran out of the house, searching in the close surrounding. Resultless. Loki wasn't responding, nor did Thor see any sign of him. Finally, in sheer desperation, he ran into the forest, with a veil of tears blurring his vision. What if Loki was gone? What if he never found him again? What if he was dead?
Thor: "LOKI! LOKI! Where are you?"
No answer. As expected. Thor kept stumbling through the woods, screaming until he got hoarse and his voice broke with every time he was screaming Loki's name. It had begun to snow again and the snowflakes dancing from the sky only made it more difficult for Thor to see anything around him. Then he nearly stumbled, only catching himself in the last moment before he would have fallen. At first he thought it was a loose branch blocking his way. He bent down to remove it and … nearly fell again. It wasn't a branch he had nearly tripped over. It was an unmoving body lying in the snow. Thor expected the worst. He knelt down next to the still form and ... it was Loki, lying curled up in the snow. He nearly hadn't seen him because of his pale skin, nearly invisible in the snow but his black curls were unmistakeable.
Thor: "Loki! Loki, what happened to you?"
He didn't receive an answer. For a second he thought Loki was dead until he saw the light shivers travelling through his frame. He was alive. Thor could see his body was badly bruised and littered with cuts.
Thor: "Who the hell did this?"
By the voice of the thunderer Loki slightly opened his eyes, blinking a few times before closing them again.
Thor: "Loki? Loki hey - stay with me. You listen!"
For a moment it looked as if Loki hadn't heard him. But then he inhaled flatly and opened his mouth for a soft whisper.
Loki: "Th-th-thor! - Help - - help-me"
And then Thor saw the blood. Not the blood from the cuts, but the bloodsoaked snow around Loki's legs. Thor shakily moved down, an unnerving thought in his mind and cautiously spread Loki's legs. He saw nothing but blood. What Thor had once caressed and from his view was his most beautiful part had been cut to indecipherability and was only a bloody mess and even more blood was spilling from inside.