Chapter 2
Chapter 2
This december was actually the most beautiful time Thor could remember so far. In the beginning Loki had acted suspiciously on any occasion and had questioned anything someone had told him, but at some time he began to open up, allowing Thor to spend more and more time with him and smiling more often than before. It made Thor happy to see Loki growing more and more comfortable with the situation and he actually showed it to him too. The men had grown to care for each other again, even more than before. When they're not together, there wasn't a minute when they didn't think of each other. Thor had always known that his affection towards Loki had not only been brotherly compassion, but he'd never payed attention to it until now, only pushing the thought away as soon as it had arrived. But during their time together, Loki started enjoying Thor's presence. When he was around, Loki felt save and somewhat protected. The jealousy he had felt earlier had now become something he couldn't identify til now. It confused him and, although he'd never admit it, made him scared. He had grown familiar with hating this man and trying to kill him, but now … he didn't feel the urge to hurt him, instead he wanted to be hugged. The sudden change of emotions made Loki unsure of his intentions and he tried to keep up his cold sincerity towards the thunderer to cover his real intentions. However, it didn't always work. In some nights Loki had come to him after a nightmare, like he used to do earlier. It always helped him falling back asleep. Thor would hold him close, whispering reassurances and simply chase them off. The relation between Loki and Odin on the other hand was still filled with hatred from Loki's side and unfamiliar coolness from Odin's. Thor tried to keep them apart as much as possible, which wasn't quite easy, because Loki didn't want to stay inside his room forever and Thor didn't want to lock him in. It at least didn't escalate, because either Frigga or Thor himself had always been around to keep the atmosphere peaceful. They had a wonderful christmas eve, exchanging presents, admiring the christmas tree, which had been arranged by the servants and being happy to share this moment with their loved ones. Only, for Loki there hadn't been many presents, as only Frigga and Thor had felt the urge to show their love towards him. Frigga gifted him with a book about ancient norse history, which Loki obviously liked. Thor's present on the other hand was more obscure to him. The blonde-haired took time to give it to him, but after the actual ceremony he pulled him aside.
Thor: "So, it was actually hard to pick one present for you … So I decided to simply pick two instead."
Loki looked surprised, not having expected something like this. He had thought, Thor's next words to be "So I decided to pick none". Thor disappeared for a moment, returning with a huge package in his arm, which was wrapped in a cerulean wrapping paper, matching the colour of Thor's eyes, littered with small stars, moons and snowflakes.
Thor: "I admit, this is the more obvious one. But I thought you needed stuff like this, now that you have to stay here for a longer period of time."
Loki received the present, giving Thor a sincere smile in return. When he opened the paper, careful not to ruin it, he found a bunch of clothes. As he slowly entangled them, it turned out that it were two collections. The first he picked was a soft tunic, made out of silk. Loki's smile widened, Thor knew what he needed. Now in winter the problem wasn't occuring, but in summer Loki had always felt hot in Asgard's clothes, which were quite warm in most cases. But this was different. As he tried it on, he felt as if it was made of feathers. Thor stared at him in admiration.
Thor: "You look - good!"
Thor had actually wanted to say something different, but he held his tongue back just in time. Loki then took the other part of the present, which consisted of a warm velvet collection, added by a cloak made of fur, which felt warmer than anything he had worn so far. He immediately put it on, cuddling into the warm clothing.
Thor: "From now on you won't have to freeze again. It was breaking my heart, seeing you shiver in this cabin, only with a blanket to wrap into. So I thought this mgiht be useful."
He grinned while looking at Loki.
Loki: "Thank you. I'm sorry I can't return your gifts, but - "
Thor: "I know, you don't have to be ashamed. I know you didn't have any ocassion to buy something. That's fine."
They spent a wonderful evening together with Odin, who had eventually softened a little, and Frigga. When everyone else had gone to bed already, they were the last, still sitting by the fireplace, sharing a drink and laughing together. The atmosphere was calm and comfortable. Thor was already drunk a little, so he made one joke after the other. They had talked about many topics, when suddenly Loki became serious and looked at Thor interested.
Loki: "How are your girls doing? I guess you're still as - joyful towards relationships as I remember from earlier. Who is it this time?"
Thor's eyes grew serious too, examining Loki closely, but then quickly looking away and staring into the fire.
Thor: "None at all. I didn't have any girl since - Jane Foster."
Loki: "You still miss her, don't you?"
Thor: "No, not really. I'm just - sick of searching for the right. Believe me, - I'd be able to choose from a thousand. But I don't feel attracted to any of those, although I know they'd think differently. Everyone ships me with Lady Sif, even father."
Loki: "Isn't she a potential girlfriend for you?"
Thor started laughing slightly.
Thor: "Sif's nice, no doubt. But she as my wife? Never! She's a good warrior and I'm getting along with her well. But that's it. Nothing more."
A short break appeared, as neither of them knew what to say. Then Thor returned the question.
Thor: "And? How's it with you? I'm optimistic you have a long list to choose from. I'm sure everyone can't imagine something better than marrying a murderer and destroyer, right?"
Loki blushed and looked away quickly, staring down to his fingers.
Loki: "No. - I didn't have any."
Thor rethought his question and looked into Loki's direction concerned.
Thor: "I'm sorry. I didn't wanna - "
Thor saw as Loki's shoulders began to shake slightly. Then the trickster rose from his chair and quickly headed for the door.
Loki: "I think I'm going to bed now. Thank you for today."
Thor could hear the trembling in his voice, so he rose too and went after him, pulling him back from the door. He took him in his arms, rubbing his back soothingly and guiding him back to the chairs. He sat down, pulling Loki onto his lap. Loki's body was now shaken by hard sobs, he tried to hold back.
Thor: "Loki, never mind! I'm such a fool!"
Loki tried to say something but was interrupted by another crying attack.
Loki: "You're - r - right."
Thor cursed himself. By now he should really know him better. No matter what Thor did, Loki kept crying in his lap, not even listening to what he told him. Thor grew more and more worried. Out of a sudden urge, he pulled the trickster closer, lifting his head up while bowing down himself, bringing their lips together in a soft, but passionate kiss. As Loki noticed what was happening, he shortly tried to pull away out of instinct, but when Thor kept holding him tight, unwilling to let go, Loki started cuddling into him, returning the kiss with all passion he could. At some point Loki stopped sobbing, pulling Thor closer himself. Somewhen Thor ended the kiss to catch his breath and Loki did the same.
Loki: "Wh - what-"
Thor hushed him gently by putting a finger to his lips. Then he stood up, picking Loki up in his arms and slowly walking out of the room.
Thor: "We should get you into bed. It's enough for today."
Loki only nodded exhausted, getting comfortable in Thor's gentle grip and relenting slowly. When they got to Thor's room, the god of thunder simply kicked the door shut behind them, walking over to his king-sized bed and putting Loki down gently.
Thor: "Wait a second, dear."
He stepped over to his closet, pulling out two sets of pyjamas and handing one to Loki. As Loki didn't want to get out of the comfortable bed, he simply changed clothing where he was while Thor did the same. Afterwards, Thor walked over to his fireplace and lighted a fire to keep them warm. Then he came over and lay down next to Loki, hesitantly wrapping one arm around his waist.
Loki: "Wh - What's happening?"
Thor grinned slightly.
Thor: "Well, - Loki, what I said was wrong. I know, I'm no girl, but nevertheless - I love you."
Loki stared at him in disbelief.
Loki: "S-since when?"
Thor: "A long time. Since we were children actually. I just - pushed it aside. I knew everyone would freak me out. I'm sorry I used the moment to show it to you. If you wish, you can get up and return to your chambers as well."
Loki hesitated but didn't move yet.
Thor: "Loki, believe me, I'm sorry for what I said and I'm embarassed by my feelings. I know it's forbidden anyways, just - how are things with you?"
Loki: "I - I don't know. When you kissed me I - it felt so right. You felt so right."
Thor started smiling relieved, pulling Loki into a hug.
Thor: "That's fine. That's how it's supposed to be."
Loki returned the hug, curling as close to Thor as possible, but then he suddenly looked scared.
Loki: "Thor - this can't be right. It's forbidden! We will get badly punished if anyone finds out - "
Thor tightened his grip, reassuring him.
Thor: "Don't worry, love. Whatever will happen, - if it is your wish, we'll stay together. I won't let us be parted by anything or anyone. Not Asgard, not father. We'll keep it as a secret. No one will ever know, except us. I'd protect you from any occuring danger. If that's fine with you. I don't want you to be afraid."
Loki only nodded slightly, while cuddling into Thor's blanket.
Thor: "Fine. Then from now on nothing else shall matter to us than keeping this love as a secret. Nothing else matters. Only us."
Thor looked towards the clock. It was only a few minutes before midnight. Then he suddenly drew back his one hand, holding something carefully as Loki now could see.
Thor: "Damn! I nearly forgot your second christmas present!"
Loki: "What? It were two. It were two sets of clothing. That's all, or?"
Thor(laughing): "Not at all! I just wasn't sure - "
He extended his hand to Loki's, putting his present into his fingers carefully.
Thor: "Happy christmas, Loki!"
Loki stared at the thing lying in his hand. He could tell it was brittle, according to the softness Thor had treated it with. It wasn't wrapped in usual paper, like the other, but in a piece of silk, covering it perfectly. As Loki uncovered it, into his hand fell a snowflake. It was a bit smaller than his hand and made of glass. Inside the snowflake he could see a flower, rimmed by different colours, including cerulean, green and a dark shade of red.
Loki: "That's - it is beautiful!"
Thor(smiling): "Yeah, it is. It's as beautiful as you."
Loki carefully put it aside, hesitantly starting another kiss. When finished, Loki turned onto his back, his eyes closing slowly.
Loki: "Thor, I'll sleep now. Please - "
Thor: "Oh sure - there you go."
Thor understood and relented his grip so Loki could move away, but he didn't.
Loki: "No! just - keep holding me like this. - Forever."
Thor gave him a smile full of love as he reastablished his grip around the younger one.
Thor: "As you wish. Good night, love! Tonight you'll sleep well. I promise."
Loki didn't even come to nod, as his eyes were already falling shut. Thor started rubbing his back soothingly as he watched Loki fall asleep as peacefully as he'd never seen him before. When Loki had fallen in a tight slumber, Thor couldn't stop smiling, starting to cry at the same time. This here was what he had wanted for years. He'd never thought it might become reality one day and now … Loki was lying here. In his arms, sleeping as peacefully as a kitten.
Thor(whisper): "I love you, Loki."
Then Thor fell asleep himself. Both were smiling in their sleep, clinging to eachother like to a saving anchor.