Y/N was standing outside in the snow. The lights from the house behind her served as the only light source and they cast a warm glow on the snow making enough sparkles that it looked like gallons of glitter had been poured everywhere. The liquid confetti served only to remind her of the two great losses of her life, and she had zero desire to be reminded of those. So, she kicked the snow, repeatedly. Not that it did anything at all to the snow, but it provided a little bit of relief for the forty-six years of frustration she’d been feeling. So, she kicked, and stomped, and ground the snow in the grass underneath, burying her frustration for good. Or at least until the next time she thought about it, which would probably be sooner than she would like.
As she continued to stamp the snow into place, the door to the home behind her opened and two people walked through. A third stood in the frame for a moment, but in a huff, shut the door and watched through the sidelight on the righthand side. Y/N continued stomping until the first one out of the house stopped by her.
“Y/N?”
Out of the corner of her eye, Y/N watched as Howard Stark pushed his gloves further into the crooks between his fingers. One. By. One.
“Hmm?” she pressed the snow down one last time and stopped, admiring her work. A circular section of the snow had been pressed down, the tread of her shoes adding a texturally pleasing design.
“I need to talk to you about something.” Howard sighed, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Shoot.”
Maria walked up behind Howard, entwining their arms together, “We want you to stay behind this time.”
Y/N chuckled, “What on earth are you talking about. It’s quite literally my job to take care of the two of you.”
“Not anymore,” Howard cleared his throat, “I’m ending that part of our relationship.”
This made Y/N more inclined to pay attention. She turned her gaze to the right, staring straight into Howard’s eyes, looking for some indication that he might be joking; there was none.
“What are you talking about Howard.”
“As usual,” Maria gently swatted at his arm, “Howard is being cryptic with you, instead of getting to the point.”
He smiled in response, shaking his head, “I, we, wanted to ask you to shift that responsibility down to Tony. Watch over him, take care of him. Protect him.”
“I think,” Y/N crossed her arms, “that Tony will be making that ten times harder than you ever did.”
“Probably,” Howard chuckled, pulling out a cigarette to light, “Tony is even more head strong than I am, which I know isn’t saying much, but. . .”
“Ha!” Y/N laughed heartily, feeling better than she had all day, “You are so full of crap.”
Howard smiled back, internally jumping for joy at her outburst, “Yes, well, please, Y/N, watch over him. He’s going to get hurt obviously, but if you could keep it to a minimum that would be ideal.”
“Yeah, Howard, I guess that’s something I can do.” Y/N nudged some snow, “Do me a favor though, don’t go and get yourself hurt now. That would be my luck, I stop looking out for you and something happens.”
He chuckled and started moving Maria toward the car, “I’ll do my best Y/N. Take care now, we’ll see you Monday. Oh!” He stopped and turned back to her, “I have some new items on my desk I need you to log next week, can you stop. . .”
“I’ll stop by and get it done.” She nodded and waved him off.
“Alright, thanks Y/N, for everything. You’ve been a good friend for a long time.”
“Too long, but let’s make it longer.” She started making her way up the steps to the porch, “I’ll see you Monday.”
“Bye, Y/N!” Maria called.
“Bye!”
Y/N watched as they pulled away, increasingly uneasy about not going with them. She dismissed the notion, however, deciding that it was simply paranoia at its best and nothing concrete, despite the nagging sensation that something was going to go terribly wrong. . .
~ 25 years later ~
“You are such a pain in the ass I hope you know!”
Y/N was a little panicked. She didn’t like flying, at all. It was something that she always found stressful, no matter what type of aerial vehicle was being used. The flying apparatus she hated the most though, was any one of the Iron suits that Tony had ever put her in.She hated the feeling of each of her limbs propelling her on their own. She hated that the slightest movement could have her propelled into a wall, or well, anything at all. Usually though, the flights in these suits started on the ground.
“You’ll be fine.” Tony said off handedly.
“You want me to put on this suit. . .”
“It’ll put itself on you.”
“and fall out of this helicopter. . .”
“Fly out.”
“Into a thunderstorm.”
“Yes.”
“I hate you, so very much.”
“You do not,” He smiled, “Everyone loves me, it’s what makes me so intolerable.”
“The intolerable part I get.”
“Look,” Tony sighed, “You and Rogers were right, Barnes didn’t set off that bomb, but they are walking into this situation out gunned. I’m going. You made a point to prove that to me. Helping Rogers get Barnes out, encouraging me to go to the raft, you did it. I’m on your side, yippee. Now, you can come with or go back to New York. Your choice.”
“Tony, there is no way I’m not going, and you know that.”
“Well, then,” he smiled, “let’s go.”
It was then that Tony stuck his finger in the brightly lit circle in the console between them. An Iron Man suit appeared almost out of nowhere, constructing itself around Tony as the helicopter opened below him. As he flew out, the bottom of the helicopter closed, and Y/N was enveloped in silence.
“Crap crap crap crap.” Y/N began to chant as she followed suit, falling, not flying, out of the helicopter, into a thunderstorm.
Nothing could prepare her for that immediate feeling of weightlessness. She had never felt like throwing up more than she did in that moment, feeling as thought her entire body was caught in her throat. Was she still falling? Who knew. Her eyes were closed. Or was the display off? Rain pelted the outside of the helmet, that she knew. It was so loud. A large of crash of thunder shook through her body.
“You wanna breathe, Y/N. I mean Friday will get you there whether you’re awake or not, but when the suit opens when we land, I think you’d prefer to not fall into the snow.”
The gasp she took in was earth shattering. Suddenly she could see, having opened her eyes, the breath was revealing. The auto pilot was in fact on. She didn’t have to do anything, just relax, and let Friday do the work.
Who knows how long it took. Tony talked to her the whole time, but it was just a roaring in her ears that she couldn’t quiet down. Her eyes opened and shut as she flew too. The ocean turned to land at some point while her eyes were closed. It was covered in snow, and for that she kept her eyes open, for the soft glittery confetti. Snow was a soft blanket over harsh emotions and a cushion to land on when she fell out of the sky. Figuratively of course. She hoped.
It looked like Christmas. Steve and Bucky were always home on Christmas. Steve would be home from school, and Bucky from whatever job he had at the time. They would have a tiny Christmas where they would exchange the cheapest gifts possible. They would have the most awful eggnog that Bucky would make. Steve would try his hand at making a ham, not wanting Clair to cook because, “You do all the cooking during the week. . .” So, they would suffer in glee, in every attempt to appease each other. Then they would sit on the balcony that wasn’t structurally sound and watch the snow. Christmas was her favorite. Was. . .
“Ms. Y/L/N?” Friday’s slightly robotic voice wrapped around her head, instantly overwhelming her.
“Friday, can you turn the volume down?”
“Yes ma’am.”
She sighed, comfortable again, “What did you need?”
“We’ll be making our descent soon, I wanted to ensure you were awake.”
“Yep, just thinking about Christmas.”
“What about Christmas?” Tony asked.
“Nothing specific, just old memories.”
“Well, you are exceedingly old.”
“Oh God. . .” She was falling. It was controlled, she could feel the propulsion, but her stomach was in her throat, “I’m gonna throw up.”
“I wouldn’t.” Tony laughed, “There’s not a lot of room for vomit in that helmet.”
A huge CLANK! And suddenly her feet were on the ground. When the suit opened around her, she flung herself forward and into the snow. The cold was more than comforting, it was soothing, and her nausea slowly melted away. When she felt the water begin to seep through her shirt she stood up, and took a deep breath to hold.
“Why do you do that?”
Tony’s voice dragged her attention away from the hazy cloud covered sky, “Do what?” she exhaled slowly.
“Hold your breath?”
“It uh,” she took a second, and stamped down some snow into a small circle around her foot, “It offers clarity, and makes me think.”
“About?”
She shook her head, “Anything I want.”
“Alright,” he chuckled, “After you then.”
When he pointed to the door they were to walk through, she couldn’t help the look of absolute and sheer disbelief, “Excuse me? You’re the one in the bullet proof suit, you go first!”
“Some bodyguard you are. Why did I bother to bring you?”
“Shut up and walk through that door.”
His laughter echoed as he walked through and into an elevator.
“Well, this isn’t ominous at all.” Y/N sighed.
“You aren’t any fun to do these things with, you’re all doomsday.”
“Well Tony, I’ve lived through a couple of doomsdays and once you do they are all you can think about when psychopaths like Zemo decide to wreak havoc on everything.”
The elevator came to a stop, and they waited, for nothing.
“Well, this is a waste of time.”
Tony stepped forward, ripping through the metal attempting to pull it apart.
“Oh, come one Tony, what’s the point of the suit if you can’t even open the elevator.”
“I hate you a little more every day.” He groaned and began to pull it apart. The doors creaked and groaned loudly as he pushed them to the walls.
About thirty feet in front of them, in a small single person wide staircase were Steve and Bucky, in a tactically sound position. Steve hunkered behind the shield in front of Bucky’s legs and torso. And Bucky, with an automatic machine gun aptly aimed at Tony’s chest.
Tony walked out of the elevator, casually checking their surroundings.
“You seem a little defensive.” He said, his voice cavalier.
“It’s been a long day.” Steve said with mild sarcasm, eyeing Y/N.
“At ease Soldier, I’m not after you.” Tony called to Bucky, who had not moved his weapon save to follow Tony as he got closer, but kept his eyes glued to Y/N.
“Then why are you here?” Steve’s voice was stern. She couldn’t tell if he was mad at her or not.
“Could be your story’s not so crazy. Or maybe she’s just better at arguing with me than you. Who knows.” Steve looked confused, Tony kept casually checking the alcoves to his left. He snapped his gaze back to Steve, “Ross has no idea I’m here. I would like to keep it that way. Otherwise, I’d have to arrest myself.”
He leaned against a pillar, attempting to calm the tension.
“Sounds like a lot of paperwork,” Steve said, Tony snorted, “It’s good to see you, Tony.”
“You too, Cap.”
“How’d you convince him?” Steve asked, focusing on Y/N.
“I yelled at him.” She shrugged, “Standard diplomacy isn’t really my thing.”
“Hey, Barnes, you’re killing me. There’s a truce here.”
Steve waved his hand down to Bucky, signaling him to lower the gun. When he did, he came down the steps to Y/N and stopped directly in front of her.
“Why are you here?” He asked, genuine concern flooded his words.
“There wasn’t any way that this was going to happen without me. I want to see it through.”
“It’s not safe.”
“Ah! You see, I managed to do something for her that my father,” Tony shuffled around Y/N to her right side, gently lifting her arm to get her watch in line with their faces, “couldn’t!” He smiled broadly, “I made her strong. With this.”
“What?” Steve asked, taking a step forward.
“When Howard tried one of his serums on me, as you know, it didn’t quite work properly. My cells regenerate faster than yours do. I’m all but immortal unless someone shoots me in the head.” Bucky winced, “but no strength, not a bit. I’m just as capable as I was before. Except that Tony, made this,” she shook the watch out of Tony’s hand, “And for about an hour it enhances muscle protein synthesis, focusing on actin and myosin concentrations encouraging advanced hypertrophy. I get about an hour of super strength.”
“You’ve learned a lot since I’ve been gone.” Bucky said, stunned.
“You’ve got no idea Buck,” Steve laughed, “She’s got something like four degrees, or more.”
“Yes, well as heart warming as this is, we should maybe keep this guy from waking up these other soldiers. Hm?”
Tony began leading the way further into the compound. As they walked through, they saw nothing, but kept a vigilant front. They turned a corner, into a cylinder shaped hallway. Once, Tony took the last step into a big room at the end, lights suddenly turned on, illuminating cryogenic sleep chambers.
“If it’s any comfort, they died in their sleep.” Zemo’s voice filled the room, a tinny sound that was less than comforting, “Did you really think I wanted more of you?”
“What the hell?” Bucky groaned, concerned.
“I’m grateful to them, however, they brought you here.” Zemo said, his voice chipper.
A light flipped on, on the other side of the room behind a small window of glass, showing just Zemo’s face. Cap through his shield, hitting squarely on the window, but it did nothing, and came back to him smoothly.
“Please, captain, the soviets built this to withstand the launch blast of UR-100 rockets.”
“I’m bettin’ I could beat that.” Tony called, hiding his nervousness know with humor.
“I’m sure you could Mr. Stark. But then you’d never why you came.”
Slowly they’d all moved to the little window, focusing on Zemo. Growing tired of him, Y/N took the opportunity to look around, attempting to find anything that could explain why Zemo wanted them there.
“You killed innocent people to bring us here?” Steve asked, his patience seemed thin.
“I’ve thought about nothing else for over a year. I’ve studied you, and followed you, but now that you’re standing her, I’ve just realized. . .” He paused, looking carefully across Steve’s face, “there’s a bit of green in the blue of your eyes.” He chuckled, “How nice to find a flaw.”
“You’re Sokovian,” Steve nodded, “Is that what this is about?”
“Sokovia was a failed state long before you blew it to hell. No, I’m here because I made a promise.”
“You lost someone?”
“I lost everyone.” Zemo’s voice grew sadder, and angrier, “and so will you.”
Inside the shelter, Zemo flipped a switch or pushed a button, starting a film on the screen next to the window, “An Empire toppled by its enemies, can rise again. But one that crumbles from within, that’s dead. Forever.”
When Y/N saw the screen, her heart stopped. Motionless, dark, and semi-lit by a single streetlamp was a road. She didn’t know what made her recognize it, except she must have driven it a million times.
“I know that road,” Tony said, almost frantic, “What is this?”
Suddenly, from the right side of the screen, a car came into view and slammed into a tree. Y/N knew then, exactly what the video was. When a motorcycle came into view, she turned away from the screen. She could only just make out Howard’s voice when he spoke but could clearly hear Maria call out for him.Y/N looked up to Steve who was staring at Tony, apprehensively waiting on him to react. She could only guess what was on his face. Anger. Betrayal. Either would be appropriate. Slowly, and quietly she began to shift sideways, toward Bucky. She had known for a long time that the Winter Soldier had killed Howard. It wasn’t until after Steve told her who the Soldier was that she knew it was Bucky.
Tony lurched to the side, moving toward Bucky. Y/N took a large step in between them, as Steve grabbed him.
“Tony, Tony. . .” Y/N wasn’t sure what to make of Steve. He seemed calm, yet frantic, a strange combination for him.
When Tony turned around, it changed.
“Did you know?” Tony asked, voice low and full of loosely veiled anger.
“I didn’t know it was him.” Steve tried to cover.
“Don’t bullshit me Rogers, did you know?” anguish poured from him.
Then Captain America was back, and Steve was strong in his response, “Yes.”
Tony pushed away from him, waited only a moment then fired on Steve and turned the repulsor on Y/N, who didn’t flinch or even attempt to move.
“Move Y/N.” Tony’s voice was firm, his resolve absolute.
“No.”
“Get out of the way!”
“No.” She sighed, “You need to listen, and not let this asshole,” she gestured to Zemo in the shelter, “win by tearing us apart.”
“You’re not going to convince me of anything.”
“I’m going to try, and you’re not going to hurt me.”
“Oh yeah?” the whirring noise of his repulsor charging filled the air as he aimed it at her.
Y/N heard Bucky take a step forward and she gestured with the hand at her side for him to stay put, “Yeah, Tony. You aren’t going to hurt me. I’m like another parent for you, and you know it.”
He kept the repulsor aimed at her for a moment before he yelled. He dropped his arms and walked away, beginning to pace. Y/N just watched him. Steve was standing across from them, Tony drawing a flat line between them.
“Tony, I. . .” Steve began.
“No. No, no, no, you don’t talk.” Tony yelled, and stopped, staring at him, “You. Don’t. Talk.”
“Will you talk to me?” Y/N asked.
The iron suit snapped to her, she’d always thought the suits expression (that her imagination created) was an angry one, “I’m thinking about it.”
“Well, if you will, I’d like you out of the suit.”
He scoffed, “I’m sure you would. You could handle me then.”
“Tony,” She shook her head, “I have never, nor will I ever, put my hands on you to try and convince you of anything. The suit, however, makes me nervous and I need you to listen.”
He paced a while longer after she was done, then stopped the suit, and walked out of it.
“No, No, NO!” Zemo screeched from the shelter.
“Yeah, I bet he’s wishing you weren’t here right now.” Tony said standing face to face with her.
“Probably.”
“I need to ask a question before you say anything.”
“Shoot.”
“Did you know?” Tony asked hesitantly.
“Yes.” Y/N didn’t hesitate. She spoke clearly and firmly, and then watched as Tony’s features melted down in front of her.
“How long?” his voice cracked.
“I knew by ‘95 that the Winter Soldier killed them. I knew by ’14 that Bucky was the Winter Soldier.”
“So why didn’t you do anything about it when you found out the Winter Soldier killed them?”
She halfheartedly laughed, “Because he was a ghost! He wasn’t found unless he wanted to be found. Also, there is a strong chance that even if I had found him, I would have died.”
Tony began shifting his weight back and forth, wanting to do more, “Why didn’t you go with them?”
“We’ve been over that a million times Tony. As they were leaving, your father and mother transferred the protective aspect of my job down to you. Again, if I had gone, I probably would have died too.”
“I think you’re rationalizing this with Barnes. He killed my mom!” Tony yelled shaking his hands.
“No, Tony, I’m just being rational. His mind wasn’t his own. You don’t blame the gun instead of the person who pulled the trigger. He was a tool, a weapon for Hydra. They, quite literally, took the man that Steve and I knew, threw his brain into a blender, put it back in and set him loose on their enemies. It. Wasn’t. Him.”
“I really don’t care.”
“You want revenge,” Y/N took a step forward, “I know that. And all of the work you have been doing to manage Hydra is helping you succeed in that. Killing him, is not going to make you feel better when you consider he was a tool, and not a decision maker. Not to mention, if you have any want or wish for me to continue being a pain in your ass that is on your side, I strongly recommend not killing him. Because if you do, I will be a pain in your ass that is not on your side and you really won’t like me anymore.”
Tony moved his lips back and forth, anxious to make a choice, “You’re saying that if I kill him. . .”
“You will lose me.”
“No mind changing then?” Tony asked, allowing a small amount of levity back into his tone.
“No.”
“Well then, that’s it.” Tony snapped and clapped his hands together. “I guess, that ends that doesn’t it. No killing Barnes.”
“No killing Barnes.”
“What does this mean?” Steve asked, his voice cautious.
Tony turned his head, “You don’t talk. We need to deal with him.” Tony pointed to the shelter, where Zemo was no longer located, “Where’d he go?” Tony got back in the iron suit, “Friday where is he?”
“It seems he is outside of the compound and Boss, there is another heat signature with him.”
“Let’s go!” Tony flew out, as the other three raced after him.
When they made it back to the surface Y/N breathed a sigh of relief when she saw T’Challa standing over a confined Helmut Zemo.
“Your Highness,” Steve nodded, eyes slightly wide with concern, “thank you.”
“I almost killed an innocent man, because of revenge Captain.” T’Challa took slow steps toward them focusing on Bucky, “I want to do what I can to fix my mistakes Mr. Barnes. I want to help you. I have caused you pain and trouble.”
“Thank you,” Bucky nodded, “I, uh, really appreciate that.”
“If it were not for you,” he pointed at Y/N, “I am certain this would have gone differently.”
“I’m not that important.”
“You are,” Tony scoffed, “incredibly important to everyone involved in this fiasco. If you weren’t here, I at the very least, would still be trying to kill him.”
He pointed at Bucky, and Y/N’s eyes followed. Her gaze was soft on him, and he shied away.
She looked back at Tony, “I was just doing my job.”
“Which was?” Tony quizzed, sarcastically.
“The night your parents died, your father transferred portions of my position down to you.”
“Right.”
“That’s why I wasn’t there. They wanted me, to protect you. That is what I have done.”
“He wasn’t trying to kill me.”
“Protection does not merely involve keeping you from physical harm Tony. It also includes emotional and mental protection in as much as I can.”
“Ridiculous.” Tony shook his head and walked away.
“Yeah, well, I’m not so special, I just care about you!” She raised her voice as he got further away.
“I could argue that you’re special to me.” Steve stepped in front of her, “You calmed him down. You salvaged this whole situation.”
“I was here Steve. That’s all. If I hadn’t been, maybe you could have calmed him down.”
“He wasn’t listening to me.”
“Well, maybe Nat could have been here, or someone else. There are many ways this could have gone. I’m not the Tony whisperer, I was just doing my job.”
“I think your job is to be the Tony whisperer.” Bucky smiled.
“Well,” she smiled deeply at him, “Howard did say that I’d have my work cut out for me.”