Him
Bucky jumped up from the floor he was sleeping on and turned to his and Zemos' bed, which was empty of the baron. He stood up groggily and walked straight into the kitchen. "Ah, James, good morning." Zemo said, turning to the bigger man. Bucky looked at him grumpily. He wasn't really a morning person, but Zemo flashed him a smile anyway. "You got out of bed again last night, so I threw a blanket over you. We may need to discuss that situation later." Zemo giggled, looking up at Bucky. "What's with the long face, honey?"
Zemo froze, his eyes widening as he studied Bucky's expression. Bucky's breath quickened and his eyes glossed over, but he tried to dismiss it, walking over to the coffee maker. "It's nothing, Zemo. Just tired." Bucky hurriedly poured his black coffee and walked to the kitchen table. The sokovian man returned his eyes to the eggs he was cooking in the pan. He wanted to apologize to Bucky, but he didn't know what he'd done wrong; what he said felt wrong, but he just didn't know why.
"James?" "I'm going to the store to get some groceries so I can make dinner tonight, it's my turn this week anyway." Zemo kept cooking without looking back. "Sam should be back from one of his ground operations today; he'll get before I do, so try not to kill each other, okay?" Bucky tried to be playful. "Are you sure you want to go out on your own? You've only been here two weeks, and I've gone on every trip with you. Do you even know Latgalian?" Bucky stood up to put the mug in the sink, grabbing the smaller man's side for a kiss on the cheek. "I'll be fine, I need to clear my mind anyway. I'll skip on breakfast though, so don't let those eggs go to waste."
Zemo frowned at Bucky, but he'd already left to change out of his bedclothes and get ready for the day. The fact that Bucky didn't take any food bothered Zemo; after the way HYDRA had portioned his eating, Bucky would take in as much food as he could with his metabolism to compensate. Something was off, so Zemo reflected on why 'honey' had bothered his boyfriend so much. After getting his jacket and gloves on, Bucky quickly dashed out the door and down to the local Riga grocery store.
Bucky tried to relax once he was outside the house, wondering why a silly little pet name had gotten him so worked up. Pet names were a sign of affection, a way to say 'You're mine, and you're special'. He didn't feel like he belonged with Zemo; maybe he was still loyal to Steve... Bucky shuddered as he remembered his name. Would he ever be able to get over Steve? Bucky had to laugh to himself as he walked down the unfamiliar streets. They'd never even been together, but it seemed so real in his head, they felt so close.
They used to do everything together when they were younger; it sounded cliche, even parasitic, but Bucky needed the attention after his parents died. He felt obligated to protect Steve, the little runt, he was so kind but troublesome in his efforts to help others. Bucky felt less alone just being around him; he was lucky with the ladies but didn't have many friends of his own. He wanted Steve to be close to him, closer than family, but he didn't know how until they were both sent to the next century. It was love, wasn't it? Even after Steve had been transformed by the serum, Bucky wanted that skinny little blonde boy to be safe; even as he fell from the train, his last thoughts were on how heartbreaking his death would be for Steve.
Bucky ran his metal hand through his hair, he was wearing a glove so as not to scare anyone. He was struck by the chatter of people as he walked into the grocery store and it was a little too loud for him. The large man walked down the aisles, picking up menial little items he remembered he needed for a dinner he planned to cook. Looking at what seemed to be a couple nearby sent him into another spiral about Steve.
Bucky didn't realize he loved Steve until 'Captain America' saved him from HYDRA. He went out into the modern world after regaining his memories and learned about everything new. Bucky had no idea a man could love a man like he would a woman; it was illegal in his youth, and was seen as a freak instance of nature by Christianity and society alike. Bucky had never met anyone who'd felt that way, so he never gave it much thought, but to discover that he loved this way and never realized... What a relieving feeling. It was unfortunate that Bucky never had time to process his revelation; he was always on the run after he was freed, especially after being placed on a wanted list.
Zemo had framed him, someone he'd love in the future had put him on the wanted list, and it was Steve, someone he loved then, who came to save him, and Bucky wasn't prepared for that. He'd thought he'd gotten over his crush, but then Steve came back; they caught up, and everything seemed alright. The soldier imagined what would happen after he was proven innocent. He and Steve could move to a modest house, maybe in Brooklyn, and live life together... But that couldn't happen as long as Bucky still had The Winter Soldier in him, so Steve, as always, knew how to save him from that too.
Bucky clenched the tomato he'd had in his hand, snapping back from his thoughts. "Oh, shit. S-sorry." Bucky stuttered, as he looked up at the fellow customers staring at him. "Sorry everyone." He dropped the food and went to the store bathroom to wash his hands. Before he left, someone rang Bucky's flip phone. Helmut Zemo, known only as 'Him' in his contacts, was calling. Bucky didn't answer the phone, not wanting to talk to his... Lover? Boyfriend? He was still ironing out emotional wrinkles... It'd been a month, but only now it dawned on him that they were in a relationship; they'd never even said 'I love you' to each other, but Bucky suspected Zemo was trying to speed up their courtship.
"I love you." Bucky exclaimed in the echoey room outside the Wakandan labs' entrance. He didn't look the blonde man in the eyes, but just doubled down. "I don't really know how to exlain it, but, I love you. I... Y'know, the 'I wanna dance with you' kind of love." Bucky looked up at the other, who was still smiling warmly at him. Steve moved closer to Bucky, brushing the hair over his shoulder so he could put his hand on it. "Buck, I understand what you're saying, but I don't think I want to try my hand at romance again. Maybe everything we went through recently is stressing you out, and you just don't realize it."
Bucky maintained his stone-cold expression, but he knew Steve could see right through it. His face was flushed, waiting for a silver lining, maybe remorse or comfort, but he knew Steve probably never learned such a love even existed. "Let's get going to the lab, King T'challa's waiting." Steve started walking away. "We can talk about it when you get out of the ice; remember, pal, I'm with you to the end of the line." Bucky started towards the lab, grazing his hand over the hair that Steve had touched. He'd never admit it out loud, but that's why he would cut his hair in the bathroom one night; He fucked it up by cutting it unevenly, he couldn't see with the tears in his eyes. Zemo came in to check on him after hearing the mirror break, and ended up fixing the abomination of a haircut Bucky'd made.
The mirror breaking sound echoed in the soldiers head, ringing until he realized he'd broken the store mirror too. He didn't have much money in his name, so panic set in. Bucky walked out of the bathroom as normally as he could, walked quickly to the cashier, and went to pay for his groceries. "Sveiks, kungs, vai jūs šodien izmantotu skaidru naudu vai kredītu?" The cashier asked him before checking out. Bucky thought that Latvian was close enough to Russian for him to guess, but Zemo was right: he couldn't. Bucky gave the cashier his card and communicated as best he could.
He finally checked out, grabbed all of the bags under his metal arm, and ran off. "Sorry about the bathroom mirror, ma'am. I'll pay for it later." Bucky's heart rate increased as he felt all of the eyes that were on him. After walking out of the store, Zemo called him again. The exhausted soldier shakily picked up the phone. "James, are you okay? You didn't pick up earlier." Bucky breathed heavily, unsure how to respond.
"Hey, hey, calm down, everything's fine. Was this in reference to what I called you earlier? I was thinking about that too, James... Do you want me to come and get you? I knew it wasn't the best idea for you to go out-" "It's no problem, Zemo." Bucky growled haphazardly. "I don't... I don't think I'll be back home tonight. I'm gonna v- visit an old... acquaintance." "Wait, no, no, no, please don't go anywhere, I'll come get you, you don't have to-" Bucky hung up the phone before his lover could finish speaking; it seemed cold-hearted to leave him alone for the day, but he needed to leave, he needed to pay Steve a visit.
After Bucky came out of the ice again, there was a sick air between the two super soldiers, but there was no time to dwell on it as war approached; It'd all happened so quickly. Before he knew it, he was fighting another war. He died again, only to return even further into the future to fight more, and when all was said and done, Steve left to live a full life, without Bucky. Was that why he did it, to get away from him? Bucky would never know, because the next time he saw Captain America, he was a shriveled old man with fading memories.
Steve seemed to enjoy his 'normal' life, which led Bucky to believe Zemo was right about Super Soldeirs causing more harm than good. He tried to shake the thought though; Steve had saved so many people, good people, he had saved James Bucanan Barnes for one... Even in death Steve had Buckys' thoughts in chokehold. The real Steve would apologize a thousand times over if he knew how much his being tormented his 'best friend,' but Bucky was always prone to catastrophize anyway, and it changed his image of him for the worst.
The soldier began his long journey to visit Steve one last time, at his grave, and Bucky hoped he would have Zemos' loving arms to return to if he forgave him.