A drunken rage and a sober confession

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Words: 1.116
Warnings: the use of alcohol, fluff
Summary: Bucky confesses his feelings to you after he comes to you after a date gone wrong. But you won't hear his confession since you're sleeping. But are you really sleeping?

„I mean come on Buck, don’t let this chick get you down, she doesn’t know what she’s missing. You’re nice, sweet, funny, generous, you make the best chocolate Chip cookies I’ve ever tried und you have the world cutest daughter. Seriously it’s her loss, now she will never see your ass in the pants of your fireman uniform. “
And here you are, standing in front of your best friend, one hand on your hip, while you hold a half empty bottle of vodka with the other one. Giving your best friend the best speech about self-worth that you can, in your admittedly quite drunken condition.
When Bucky called you earlier, to ask you if he can come over, you were surprised, you expected him to still be on the date of which he told you, with the "really cute lady" he had met at the supermarket.
And of course you weren't even the slightest bit jealous when he told you about it. No, of course you weren't. And certainly this date is not the reason why you have been drinking for two hours already. I mean it’s not like you've been totally hopelessly in love with him for over four years now, without him noticing.
But how could you not be in love with him? Bucky is always there for you when you're down, he supports you where he can and every time you see him in his firefighter uniform you have to be careful that your jaw doesn’t hit the ground, when you see him in his firefighter uniform. The only one who knows about your feelings for Bucky is your best friend Natasha, apparently you didn't keep your ogling as secret as you thought you did, as she soon found out about your crush on him. After a long talk from her, you wanted to ask him out, but unfortunately it was the same day that he told you about the "supermarket lady".
So you locked your feelings deep in your heart and were happy for him as much as you could. After all, it's been a long time since he threw himself into the dating pool. Ever since his now ex-girlfriend ,Lisa, left him about two years ago, leaving their then seven-month-old daughter Charlotte with him.
All the time you are walking up and down the living room giving while giving him your uplifting monologue, Bucky is sitting on your sofa, grinning and following your movements with his eyes.
“Angel, it's really not that big of a deal. She just didn't want to have a little kid in her life. And that's ok. As long as I have you and Charlie, I will be fine.”
You roll your eyes and pause in your movement:” Why am I angrier at this woman than you are, she knew you had a daughter before the date.” you look at him questioningly.
“First of all she did know I have a daughter, yes but she didn’t know Charlie is still so young. And second you’re angry because you are drunk, you always get upset faster when you are drunk. But honestly how much did you drink and why?”
While he was answering you, Bucky got up and moved closer to you.
Only now do you really notice the affect of the alcohol, before that you were still distracted by your angry rant
Your slight swaying, a clear sign of your alcohol level.
Bucky seems to notice this, because he carefully pulls you close to him, to stabilize you.
"Come on, let's get you to bed" he carefully tries to move you towards the bedroom, but you stop him: "No, I have to be there for you today and take care of you, not you for me.”
Smiling lovingly, Bucky looks you in the eye:” Just seeing you today, made this day better, and as I said, I’m fine. And you little miss, are definitely drunk, so off to bed you go.”
This time you go with him willingly.
When you arrived in your bedroom, he helps you out of your clothes. While Bucky disappears into the kitchen to get you a glass of water for the night, you snuggle up under your covers. As you lie there you feel everything start to spin, so you close your eyes to avoid getting overwhelmed.
You can hear Bucky's footsteps as he approaches your bedroom again, but you can't bring yourself to open your eyes, you’re way too tired. Apparently he thinks you fell asleep because his steps slow down and he tries to walk as quietly as possible. You realize, that he is now standing next to your bad as he puts the glass of water down on your bedside table. However, you still do not open your eyes. You feel his hand lovingly stroking your forehead and wiping your hair off your face.
Your mattress sinks in slightly and you notice that he has sat down next to you on the bed, stilling running his fingers through your hair, he sighs, then begins to speak softly: ”Oh angel, if you only knew what you mean to me and that I only went on this date to forget you at least for a few hours. But I needed some way to take my mind off you. Getting that image of you, me and Charlie as a family out of your head. But I should have known that I can never get my mind of you. Steve said I should finally confess my feelings to you and tell you the truth about Lisa and me. But I can't, what if you don't want to be friends with me anymore. I can bear never having you all to myself, but I could never deal with it, if you turned your back on me. If only I could tell you how beautiful you make my life. How many times I wish you were Charlie's mother, but I don't dare. Maybe someday I'll grow some balls, so I’m brave enough, to tell you all this when you're awake, to tell you that I love you with all my heart and all my soul. But not today.” Suddenly you feel fully sober again.
He gets up from your bed carefully, a few seconds later you feel his warm, soft lips blow a gentle kiss on your forehead before his steps move away from your bedroom. You hold your breath, only when you hear the front door slam softly do you open your eyes and let air flow into your lungs again.
Just to whisper a single, quiet sentence into the darkness of the room: "I love you too.