Chapter 16
It was only three dates before Eddie and I realized that there was a problem. HIs last name is Brock.
I'm not sure how I didn't immediately realize, I know for a fact my brother had said the mans last name before, but I hadn't processed it at all until we went out for lunch today. I met him for his lunch break, a little deli that was halfway in between Steves apartment and Eddies office.
The date had been going well. Eddie ranting about one of his coworkers that never replaces the jug the water cooler and me confessing to him that I was looking for a job. I had only worked for the first year of Brock and I being together, so even just the notion of looking for a new job felt like a giant leap for me.
Eddie had just taken the last bite of his sandwich when from across the deli we heard a loud voice, "Brock! My man!"
My chest had immediately tightened and my stomach had turned to lead. My wide eyes darted around the restaurant as I looked for my ex-boyfriend, trying desperately to catch a glimpse of his police uniform. Instead, the man walked right up to our table before quickly throwing a playful punch into Eddies shoulder.
Eddie laughed as he stood up and welcomed the stranger with a hug, asking him how he had been. The sound of my heartbeat in my ears slowly began to fade away and it was then that I realized how tightly I had been holding my fork in my hand. The potato salad in front of me making me feel suddenly nauseous, I quickly push the bowl towards the middle of the table.
How had I not connected that this man shared a name with my ex-boyfriend? The very name that I couldn't say out loud for what felt like weeks. Had I been that smitten with him?
"Oh, this is Dandi!" Suddenly Eddies voice pulled me from my spiral, introducing me to the stranger in front of him. "Dandi, this is Peter Parker, he's a photographer for the Daily Bugle. Be careful around this one, he's sneaky."
Peter is the epitome of boyish charm. I assume he's around my age, maybe a little younger. He gives me a soft smile before offering his hand for a equally soft shake.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," I say quietly, trying with everything inside of me to keep my voice from wavering.
"The pleasure is mine!" Peter laughed, "Brocks gonna have to let me know how he snagged you, you seem much too sweet for him."
"Ha ha, very funny," Eddie said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.
"I try," Peter smirked, "I've gotta run, just picking up lunch, but it was great to see you. We should hang out soon, and once again, it's been a pleasure, Dandi."
The two of us watch the young boy as he left the with his pick-up order, giving one final wave before he left the building.
"Hey, how are you doing? Everything okay? I don't know why I didn't think about the possibility of that happening." He shook his head in disappointment as he wrapped my hands into his own.
"I'm okay, it just threw me off I think," I whispered, watching as his thumb stroked over the back of my hand. "I do think I need to go home, though. My anxiety kind of spiked for a minute there."
I've learned a lot about my anxiety since moving in with Steve, Natasha and Wanda being my biggest helpers and supporters in it. After one of panic attacks or anxiety spikes I've learned that its better for me to take a moment to myself and lay down, to rest. When I ty to power through afterwards it's always resulted in spiraling or a secondary attack.
Eddie nodded in agreement before standing up to walk e out of the restaurant, but before we walked away from the table he grabbed my arm, making my heart stop for a moment, "Can I have the rest of your potato salad?"
"Yes, Eddie," I laugh, leaning up to kiss his cheek. He grabbed a to-go box and quickly threw the rest of the dish in it before walking me out.
On the walk back to the apartment I called Wanda, needing to talk out the situation. She listened to me as I seemed to ramble out the experience, confessing my confusion about the situation.
"I just need someone to tell me what to do," I finally confessed in a small voice.
"Oh, sweets, I wish I could just tell you what to do, but that's something you have to decide for yourself. I can tell you things you might want to consider if you'd like?" She offered.
"Yes, please," I whispered.
"Think about if that's an experience you can handle happening again. Think about whether or not that's something that you want to get used to."
"I can do that."
We talked for a few more minutes about her day in her shop, apparently Pietro had ruined a batch of croissants this morning and it had set the two of them up for failure for the day. I giggle at their antics before letting her off of the phone when I hear the sound of loud crashing in the background, apparently Pietro had just dropped an entire stack of mugs.
The conversation had done its job, helping me calm down. So, I hummed to myself as I walked downtime street, not quite ready to go to the apartment just yet, enjoying the soft snow that was falling New York.
Just as I was passing a coffee shop I knew Steve and Bucky to frequent as it was near their work, I caught a glimpse of Sam in the window. I stopped for a moment on the sidewalk, watching him converse with a woman in scrubs, I could only see the back of her head while Sam threw his back in laughter.
I chewed my lip for a moment as I considered whether or not I would be welcome to intrude. I also consider whether or not I might encounter Dot, the barista that I know Bucky is currently seeing. Just as I was about to keep walking Sam caught my eye, quickly waving in. I smiled in response as I pulled my puffer jacket tighter around my torso and walked into the coffee shop.
Once I reach the pair I allow Sam to pull me into a side hug and introduce me to the women.
"Dandi, this is my girlfriend Maria, Maria this is Dandi," Sam smiles, gesturing between me and the woman.
The woman who had her coffee cup to her lips carefully placed the cup on the table before turning to greet me, before either of us could speak both of our eyes widened in recognition.
"You asked for help," a smile grew on her lips as she took me in, eyes wondering down my figure.
Rather than responding I threw my arms around her neck and pulled her into the tightest hug I'd given in a long time.
"I remembered what you had said to me every time after," I whisper into her ear as I try to hold in my tears.
The nurse from those years ago, the one who didn't believe me when I told her I had been in a roller skating accident, was standing right in front of me. The nurse who's words I had used to finally make that last push and leave Brock permanently. The nurse who's mantra I had stolen. and her name is Maria.