Why We Get Knocked Down
Peter knew he shouldn’t be nervous about starting yet another school, but he was. He wasn’t going to start until tomorrow, but as he sat in the hall by himself on a chair outside the principal’s office, he worried. He’d done this at least 5 times before… maybe more. Peter really couldn’t remember anymore. He’d already met his new homeroom teacher as well as the principal, and both of them seemed really nice. Mrs. Hannigan had promised Peter that he would have a good year and that he’d get to study things at his level. She’d also promised him that all of the kids in her homeroom were nice. Apparently this school was set up differently than the middle schools Peter had attended before. They’d spend the first half of the day in homeroom learning English, Math and History. Then after lunch they would go to electives and science class in other classrooms, and would get to go to their locker if they needed to. Peter’s locker would be right outside of his homeroom along with all the other kids in his homeroom.
Now his parents were inside the principal’s office talking to the homeroom teacher and the principal, though he didn’t know what about. Things had never taken this long before when May or Ben had gone to enroll him in school. Usually they just brought a copy of his records, filled out some paperwork and were done. Peter thought his parents had already filled out all the paperwork and couldn’t imagine what was taking them so long now.
The school building was odd too. It wasn’t like the other schools Peter had gone to, not even Midtown. The Midtown buildings were all really nice, much better than the other schools he’d gone to. May said it was because Midtown was a charter school, and the previous schools Peter had gone to were public schools. This was a private school though, and it was in a tall building in Manhattan. It was three levels right at the top of the building. The lowest level on floor 20 belonged to the 6th grade and had the library. The next level up was going to be where Peter went to school for the rest of the year. It was for the 7th grade and had the cafeteria. The top level was on floor 23 and was for 8th graders and had the gym. Then up on the roof there was an outdoor eating area and gym area with basketball hoops and a half soccer field. The roof was fenced with super high chain link fences to be sure no one could fall off the roof and no sports equipment could escape and end up 24 levels below down on the street.
“What’re you in for?”
Peter looked up and found a girl staring at him with one brow raised. “Huh?”
“School’s almost out for the day, and you’re sitting there with your face pinched like you’re in trouble. So what’d you do? You in 6th grade? I haven’t seen you around before.”
“Oh uh, I’m new,” Peter said. “New, yeah, I’m new. I’m in 9th grade. Actually, not anymore. I’ll be in 7th grade again.”
The girl raised her brows. “You sure you didn’t like, set a lab on fire and get detention?”
“Does that happen here?”
She shrugged. “What’s your name 9th grade?”
“Uh, Peter. Peter Parker, I mean, wait no, that’s not it, it’s Peter Stark. Right, I’m Peter Stark.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure. That’s me.”
“Huh. Who’s your homeroom teacher going to be?”
“Mrs. Hannigan.”
“That’s the class I’m in,” she said. “I’m Michelle, but you can’t call me that. My name’s MJ.”
“MJ,” Peter said. He didn’t know why he couldn’t call her by her name, but he hoped it wasn’t for the same reason he hadn’t been able to be called by Peter for so long. He thought of Ned and how Ned had just accepted him as Peter. Ned was so cool and Peter wanted to be just like him. “Hey MJ,” he said. Her face lit up where her expression had been gloomy and uninterested before. Peter was pleased.
“Thanks loser,” she said.
“Uh,” Peter faltered. “I’m uh- I’m not a loser. I’m Peter.”
“Relax. I didn’t mean it. I call everybody that. Everyone at this school is a loser.”
“You’re here.”
“Very astute,” she said. “Like I said, we’re all losers here.”
Peter grinned, remembering how he and Ned had decided to be weirdos together.
“So… what are you here for?” Peter asked. She had taken a seat across the small office hallway from him.
“I set the lab on fire,” she said. Peter’s eyes went wide. “Yeah, I get that look a lot.”
“You uh- on purpose?”
“No, I’m not a pyro. I just- don’t find biology interesting. I was reading a book and someone turned on a bunsen burner. It caught the edge of my book on fire so I threw it. It hit some chemicals and… you can imagine the rest.”
“That uh, kind of uh, that sounds like maybe, maybe you set it on fire on purpose.”
“That’s what Mr. Levi said.” She lifted her arms to indicate the office as if to say, ‘hence why I’m here’. Peter smiled at her again.
* * *
“Mr. and Mrs. Stark,” the principal said, shuffling papers around. “We have all of his records from Midtown as well as from the two middle schools he attended for 7th and 8th grade. He was doing well until he made it to Midtown. I’m confident we can give him advanced work that will challenge him without putting a higher workload on him. By the time he’s done here in two years he really will be ready to go to Midtown, and will possibly be able to skip a grade when he gets there.”
“We do want him to be challenged,” Tony said, “but our main focus right now is that he’s able to learn to socialize with kids his own age.” Tony knew what it was like to be the youngest one in a class and to feel completely alone for it. Going to MIT at 15 meant he graduated at 19 and had a couple years to goof off after that and to travel before taking over Stark Industries at 21, but that didn’t mean it was necessarily the right thing to do. He felt like he’d missed out on a lot skipping out on his last three years of high school. Maybe he wouldn’t be such a perpetual mess now if he’d had the time to just act his age back then. Pepper frequently told him (or at least she had before Afghanistan), that he was immature and needed to act his age. He didn’t want that for Peter. Peter needed to be able to learn how to just be where he was supposed to be when he was supposed to be there.
“I understand,” the principal said. “We feel this will be a good fit for Peter. While we feel all students here have great potential, Mrs. Hannigan’s class is the advanced 7th grade class and is full of students we feel have great academic potential. We hope Peter will come to feel at home here and we’re committed to doing whatever we need to do to help him.”
Mrs. Hannigan leaned forward in her chair a little and said, “With everything that Peter’s gone through, is there anything I should be aware of so that I don’t bring up a sensitive topic? Are there certain things you’d like me to do to help him adjust?”
Tony and Pepper shared a look and Pepper said, “He gets confused about the details of his life still. The people that had him lied to him and wouldn’t allow him to use his real name, or to talk about us. They frequently told him that he was confused. Now when he remembers real details of his life, he thinks he’s just confused. We want to make sure that he doesn’t get in trouble for accidentally writing down his name, or date of birth, or other details like that incorrectly. We’ve only had him back for a little over a week now. He’s had trouble remembering that his last name is Stark and not Parker.”
“We’ll treat the issue with sensitivity,” Mrs. Hannigan assured them.
“I want to make sure he’s not being told that he’s confused,” Tony said, and Mrs. Hannigan and the principal nodded.
“All of this information will be passed onto the rest of his teachers before tomorrow,” the principal said.
“He’s also been bullied a lot,” Pepper said. “Because he was two years younger than other kids he was going to school with, he was being beaten up. He had one friend that protected him, but before that he was being called names, chased-” she trailed off.
“A group of boys at Midtown locked him in a locker a few times and left him there and his friend had to get him out,” Tony said. “They also punched him and threw him into a dumpster behind the school multiple times. We can’t have that happening again,” Tony's voice was hard.
“Of course not. That type of behavior isn’t tolerated here. If Peter reports it, or if you report it, we’ll deal with it immediately.”
Tony nodded, seeming satisfied, but then he said, “We just want him to have a normal school experience. We don’t expect him to be treated differently than his peers. That would just set him apart from them and we don’t want that.”
“I understand what you’re saying Mr. Stark, but part of being a student at Vermillion Academy is getting individualized attention from teachers. We celebrate the differences that make each student special and unique. We will however be sure that Peter isn’t set apart to the extent that he starts to feel isolated.”
“That’s all we’re asking for,” Tony said. It wasn’t true. He was asking for a whole hell of a lot more. He was asking for their help. He needed them to keep Peter safe while he was there. He needed their help in giving Peter a somewhat normal childhood. It was a lot to ask, but he didn’t voice his thoughts about it out loud.
A few minutes later when they collected Peter outside the principal’s office, they found him sitting on a chair in the hall swinging his legs back and forth and talking to a girl with curly brown hair.
“Bye MJ,” Peter called.
“See you loser,” she returned.
Tony and Pepper shared a worried look but didn’t comment until they rode the large elevator down and got into the car.
“Peter,” Pepper asked from the front seat.
His eyes came up and he looked at her. “Yeah?”
“Honey, in the office, was that girl picking on you?”
“Huh? No, of course not.”
“She called you a name,” Tony said as he pulled away, watching Peter through the rearview mirror.
“Oh, no no no,” Peter said. “MJ and I are losers together, like me and, like me and Ned are weirdos together.”
“You might have to explain that one better to us buddy,” Tony said.
Peter looked like he was thinking about how to explain it for a few moments, and he said, “Me and MJ are the same, like me and Ned are the same. Ned and I like Star Wars and Legos and we wear nerdy shirts. I told Ned I was a weirdo, and he said we were both weirdos and we’d just have to be weirdos together. MJ said everyone at Vermillion is a loser. She and I are gonna be losers together tomorrow in class.”
Pepper pressed her lips together in a small smile, and Tony gave a nod. “Got it bud. You know I’m a weirdo too right?” He had a sudden wave of appreciation for Ned and how Ned had made Peter feel normal and included. He needed to do something big for Ned, like buy him a car when he got his license.
“Dad,” Peter said, “trust me, I know, we’re soulmates.”
Pepper laughed out loud at that and Tony said, “Ha ha, it’s pick on dad day right?” Then he looked at Pepper and said, “Just remember, you’re the one that married a weirdo.”
“It’s ok honey,” Pepper said, patting his knee as he drove. “I love you anyway.”
“Weirdos and losers have to stick together,” Peter mumbled from the back seat, staring out the window. He sincerely hoped that in the morning, when he went to school and had to face being the new kid yet again, that MJ had meant it when she’d said that losers have to stick together.
* * *
Peter bounced nervously on his feet in the elevator on the way up to Vermillion Academy, and beside him Tony tapped his fingers on his leg nervously. Pepper would have come but she had to go back to work that morning, so Tony and Peter had to face getting Peter to school alone.
“You uh, got that watch I gave you?” Tony asked. He was glad they were running a few minutes late because it meant they had the large elevator to themselves.
Peter lifted it up to show him.
“That’s got a tracker in it,” Tony said. “All you have to do is hit the panic button on top three times in a row and I’ll know you’re in trouble and I’ll come right away.”
“Yeah, I know,” Peter said.
“And you’ve got the phone in your bag?”
“I got it.” Tony had given him a brand new cell phone the night before with his, Pepper’s, and Happy’s numbers. Peter had acted like it was Christmas come early and had put Ned’s number into the phone right away and called him to tell him all about it. They’d talked for 20 minutes and Tony had heard Ned giving Peter tips on making friends before Peter had had to hang up so he could go to bed.
“We put money on your account for lunch,” Tony said, “but your mom put snacks in your bag just in case you get hungry.”
“Yep.”
“You got this,” Tony said, though Peter looked up at him and raised his brows. “Right, I’ve got this too,” Tony said, knowing his anxiety was crossing the link between them. “I’m picking you up after school for the rest of the week. Happy will start picking you up after school next week.”
“Do you think Happy will take me to get ice cream still?”
“I’m sure he will,” Tony said. He’d already heard Happy telling Pepper about his plans to spoil Peter on the way home from school to secure his place as Peter’s ‘favorite’ uncle. Pepper had just asked him not to bring Peter home with a belly ache every single day from too much sugar.
The elevator door opened into a hallway on the 7th graders floor and Tony looked at his watch. “You’ve got two minutes until the bell. You want me to walk you to your class?”
“It’s ok dad, I got it. I’ve been to high school already, remember? And I did- I did 7th grade two years ago.”
“Right, right yeah. You know the room number?”
“Second door on the right,” Peter said, pointing down the hall. It helped that Mrs. Hannigan was standing in the doorway ushering late students into class. She’d already waved at Peter and Tony.
“Is it uh… too lame to be seen hugging your dad goodbye?”
Peter didn’t answer. Instead he turned and threw himself at Tony, burying his face in Tony’s shirt. “We’re weirdo’s dad,” Peter said, his voice muffled. Then he pulled his face back and looked up at him. “It’s ok if people know we’re weird.”
Tony huffed a laugh. “Right. I’ll be out front right after school bud. I love you.”
“Love you dad,” Peter said. He hurried down the hall, leaving his father staring after him. He made it to Mrs. Hannigan right as the bell rang.
“Welcome Peter,” she said. She gave Tony a knowing look from down the hall, and then followed Peter into the classroom.
“Class, settle down now, everyone find your seats,” she said, “we have a new student today.”
There were only 10 kids in the class. Peter was the 11th. The room was smaller than a normal classroom, but because they only needed 11 desks, they didn’t need too much space. The back wall of the class was floor to ceiling bookshelves full of novels and history books. One wall was a wall of windows looking out into the city, and had shelves of art supplies underneath. In the back corner there were several bean bag chairs in a semi circle around a fluffy rug. Despite being nervous, Peter already liked it here.
He stood at the front of the room and once all the students were settled, Mrs. Hannigan said, “Class, this is Peter Stark. Peter’s 12, but he’s already been through the 7th and 8th grade, and he even spent two months in 9th grade. He’s very smart, but he decided to come and join our class for the rest of the year because he heard how smart and talented all of you are and he wanted to get to know you.”
Several students were staring at him open mouthed. Peter spotted MJ right away sitting in the back near the bookshelves. She was watching him like the rest of the class.
“Peter, do you have anything you want to tell us about yourself? Any hobbies?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah,” he said. Ned had told him to be himself the night before. He’d told Peter a dozen times that Peter was the coolest person he knew. Peter didn’t believe him because Ned was the coolest person. But Ned had said he should just be Peter. Peter was a weirdo. Peter was a loser… the good kind, according to MJ, who was raising her eyebrow at him now from the back of the class. “Hey, I’m Peter. I’m a weirdo who likes Star Wars way too much, Legos, and SpongeBob SquarePants. I like uh… I like building stuff, working on cars, and NASA and shuttles. I’ve kind of lived all over… like, everywhere. So yeah, that’s me. Peter.” He looked up at Mrs. Hannigan and found her smiling down at him.
“It sounds like you have a lot of interests Peter.” She looked up at the class and asked, “Does anyone here like Legos?” Three boys and a girl raised their hands. “Star Wars and outer space?” she asked. Several hands went up. “SpongeBob?” Most of the hands went up, and only MJ’s stayed down. “It looks like you have a lot in common with the class already,” Mrs. Hannigan said, smiling down at him again. She pointed at the class and said, “There’s an empty seat Peter, but I’m going to let you choose. Who do you want to sit with?”
“MJ,” Peter said immediately. Several of the kids sucked in a deep breath and stared at him like he was crazy.
“That’s perfect,” Mrs. Hannigan said, “there’s an empty seat by MJ already.”
Peter went to take the seat, hanging his bag on the back of it. Mrs. Hannigan started talking about what they were doing in English that day but Peter wasn’t able to pay attention right away because the girl and boy sitting in front of him turned and the boy whispered, “Dude, MJ’s scary. Why do you wanna sit next to her?”
“Yeah,” the girl right in front of Peter asked. “She’s… kind of a loser.”
Peter raised his brows. The girl hadn’t said loser like it was a good thing. She’d said loser like Flash said it when referring to Peter, and what was more, they’d said it right in front of MJ. Suddenly Peter felt like Ned… his chest swelled with pride when he realized that he could be cool like Ned in that moment.
“Well I’m a loser,” Peter said. “Losers gotta stick together.”
The girl and boy in front of him looked surprised, and Peter turned to give MJ a grin beside him. She gave a short laugh out loud, drawing the attention of Mrs. Hannigan from the front of the room, though she just watched for a moment and didn’t say anything to them for interrupting.
“She caught the bio lab on fire yesterday,” the girl in front of him whispered.
Peter leaned forward. “Really?”
The girl nodded.
“Cool.” He leaned back in his seat and MJ laughed again.
Peter didn’t know if he was going to make any more friends there that year, but felt like he was already good with the one he had next to him. He couldn’t wait to tell Ned.
* * *
Despite that he had made it clear to the kids in his class that he was friends with MJ over the next week, he found that all of the kids in his class still wanted to get to know him. None of them tried to bully him. They wanted to know where Peter had lived, because he’d said he’d lived all over the place, and they wanted to know why. He didn’t tell them he had been kidnapped. Instead they all thought it sounded like he’d been on some sort of grand adventure. MJ always listened to him without asking questions though, and stared at him like she was somehow seeing right through him. He knew she couldn’t, because it wasn’t like they shared a soul-mark like he and his dad did, but sometimes he felt like she really could.
MJ was not well liked. Kids thought she was strange. She read an absurd amount of books, even during lunch where she sat next to Peter and ignored the rest of their homeroom class who was gathered around them asking Peter questions. When she did speak to other students it was only to call them out on a lie, point out obvious things they’d missed, or to say something sarcastic. She was so different from Ned, but Peter loved it. She was cool, and the other kids didn’t even know it! And just like hanging out with Ned, Peter felt cool just by hanging out with her.
“You’re from like… a different planet or something,” she told Peter on his third day at school.
“Yeah, probably, yeah, that’s uh, that’s me,” he said. Some of the kids had asked why Peter stuttered, rambled, and repeated himself, but he only shrugged and told them that he’d already warned them on the first day that he was weird. MJ didn’t ask and didn’t seem to care.
“Everyone wants to be friends with you, and you keep rebuffing them,” MJ said. “None of them get why you wanna be friends with me.”
“You’re cool,” Peter said, as if that settled it.
“Am I?”
“Sure, yeah, I think so. You and Ned, you’d get along well. You’d like Ned.”
“Didn’t you say he’s 15? I don’t think he’d be interested in hanging out with a couple 7th graders.”
“Well, he hangs out with me,” Peter said. His mom had set up some sort of meeting with Ned’s mother for the coming weekend so she could meet her. Peter hoped that would result in him getting to spend more time with Ned.
“Well, he’s a loser too then,” she said.
“See,” Peter said. “You’re the one, you said, you’re the one that told me losers gotta, gotta stick together.”
She only sighed and went back to reading her book, but Peter had caught her smile as she lifted the book up in front of her face.
“I’m gonna go back to Midtown in two years you know,” Peter told her. “It’s a science and tech school. You should come.”
“I almost burned the bio lab down,” she reminded him. “I always fail science class.”
“But-” Peter trailed away. “You don’t have to.”
She lowered her book. “Science is boring.”
“Science is not boring,” Peter said, like she’d insulted him personally. He pointed at her book and said, “You’ve been reading that all week… and, and that book about that lady that climbed mount Everest, and that other book, about the lady that did that other thing.”
“Led the women’s rights movement,” MJ said.
“Yeah, well you just don’t like science because you don’t, you don’t know how cool it is! You need to read some science fiction.”
“Boring,” she said.
“Have you even seen Star Wars?” he challenged.
“Borrrring,” she repeated.
He looked thoughtful for several moments and said, “Ok, ok, yeah, totally boring. Science fiction… that’s not for you. Uh, I do know this other story though, this story with a lady that leads a whole rebellion against this evil king guy, yeah, he’s super evil, he even cuts his own son’s hand off. He’s super bad. And this lady, she’s like… she’s a teenager, and she steals information that the bad king needs, and she’s the leader of this whole group of, this entire group of people that just follow her, because she’s super cool.”
“What’s it called?” MJ asked, though she was giving Peter one of those looks like she already knew what he was going to say.
“Star Wars.”
“Loser.”
“Loser,” Peter repeated. She frequently greeted him with, “Hey loser,” and said things like, “check this out loser,” or, “my mom sent me with M and M’s to share with you loser.” So it was nothing for Peter to repeat it back to her. It just meant they were the same, and he was glad for it.
She set her book down on the lunch table in the outdoor eating area on the roof with a snap. She pointed at him and said, “If I spend all weekend watching Star Wars, and there is not a female heroine that saves the day, you’re in big trouble.”
“Right, yeah, got it,” Peter said. “But you’re gonna watch it, and when you come back to school Monday, you’re gonna come sit down and tell me you loved it and admit Science Fiction has, has- that it’s awesome.”
“Doubtful.”
Peter ignored her. “And then,” he said, “then you’re gonna tell me science has merit, and you’re gonna study biology with me so you can be super good at it, and we can go to Midtown together.”
She stared at him, but he only grinned.
* * *
When Monday rolled around and MJ slid into her desk next to Peter at the back of the class in homeroom, she said without looking at him, “It was good, and I hate you.”
“Oh yeah? Yeah?”
“I’m bad at science. I’m not going to Midtown. My parents will find some private high school to send me to.”
“Well when you, when you get there who are you gonna be friends with, cuz I’m- I’m gonna be at Midtown with Ned.”
“I’m just telling you that’s what will happen.”
“Are you saying you can’t… that you can’t do it?” Peter was waiting for her eyes to come over to him in a glare and grinned at her.
“Listen loser, I’m a girl. I can do anything.”
“I know,” he said. “So when are we gonna start studying?”
* * *
Apparently Pepper’s meeting with Ned’s mother had gone well. She’d come home from having coffee with Mrs. Leeds at her apartment in Queens on Saturday and told Peter that Ned would like to have him over to his house.
“You mean- I’m, I’m gonna get to go to Neds? Like, I can actually, really go somewhere else to hang out with him?”
Pepper just stared at him, trying to work through all the words he’d just thrown out in rapid succession. “Yes, you can go to Neds every once in a while, and he can still come over here. We were thinking you could go to his house Fridays after school and he could come here Sunday evening.”
“EVERY WEEK?” Peter shouted in excitement.
She nodded, but had the wind half knocked out of her a moment later when Peter barreled into her. She caught herself before she was knocked over and looked down at him, startled. She’d never seen him this excited before, or at least not since he’d come home.
He was rambling quietly but she couldn’t hear what he was saying. “What honey?”
“I’ve never been allowed to go to a, a, a, a friends house before. Never, never, never.”
“I didn’t realize.” She took in his excited face again and then her own expression softened. She would give anything to see him look this happy again. He’d been in a good mood the last week and had come back from school each day with talk of MJ and the books she was reading, and the questions the other kids in his homeroom class had for him. So far none of them had made fun of him. She had been worried that with his stutter and rambling that they would, but none of them seemed to mind, or if they did, Peter hadn’t said anything about it. From what she gathered, several kids wanted to be friends with him, but he was pretty set on spending all his time with MJ. When Peter told Tony that MJ had set a science lab on fire, Tony had said, “Seems like a reasonable person to be friends with.” Tony himself had blown up his own lab and set it on fire several dozen times. Pepper had stopped keeping count.
“Does Ned know? I’m gonna, I gotta tell him!” Peter unzipped his backpack and pulled out his phone, running to his room with it and throwing himself onto his bed. He’d been almost as excited about the new phone as he had been about learning he could go to Ned’s house, or about making friends with MJ. Apparently he hadn’t been allowed to have a phone or a computer. She knew Tony was working on rectifying the computer situation, but didn’t want to just give him one. At some point in the near future he would be building one with Peter in the lab.
* * *
They’d had Peter back for three weeks, but Tony had yet to call Rhodey. He was there standing in the penthouse anyway, looking around from where he’d stepped out of the elevator.
Before Peter had been taken Rhodey used to come around on his own frequently. After he’d been taken, Rhody had spent weeks with them, trying to help figure out where Peter had gone. But Tony had made it clear to everyone that he wanted to be alone, and eventually Rhodey had left. He had continued coming by, but as weeks turned to months, his visits had slowed.
Tony had a feeling the only reason he still came around was because Pepper called him and asked him to come. He had a feeling this was the case this time too.
“There you are,” Rhodey said, eyes finding Tony sitting at the round dining table in front of the wall of windows on his computer. He didn’t wait to be invited in further and crossed the penthouse. Rhodey was one of only two people that didn’t live there that had direct access at any time of the day or night to the penthouse. Happy was the other person.
“I’m surprised you’re not in the lab,” Rhodey said, walking into the kitchen and going directly to a cupboard to pull a mug out. He set to making himself coffee like he’d done every other time he’d been there. Despite that Tony had barely spoken to him outside of missions in the last few years, Rhodey was family, and was allowed to act like he lived there.
“Yeah,” was the only thing Tony could think to respond. He’d tried working on projects in the lab without Peter there, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He couldn’t figure out why. He kept trying to go in there to work on the things he needed to get finished for R and D, but after ten or twenty minutes the hair on the back of his neck started standing on end and he found himself bringing his projects out to the kitchen island to work on. It was annoying because all of the tools he needed were in the lab, along with the holo display. He couldn’t get any work done like this. Now that Rhodey was here though… he needed to talk to him, but there was no reason they couldn’t do it in the lab while Tony was working.
Tony abandoned his laptop at the kitchen table and walked into his lab as soon as Rhodey had a cup of coffee. He didn’t miss the way Rhodey’s face fell when Tony turned for the lab.
“Pepper call you?” Tony asked as Rhodey came down the steps into the lab. Tony immediately went to his workbench and threw the holo display up to the project he’d been working on recently. It was a new version of the Stark Phone.
“Surprisingly she didn’t,” he said. “She usually calls every couple of months. I- was starting to get worried. You weren’t answering your phone either.”
“To be fair I never answer my phone.”
“True,” Rhodey said.
He'd wanted to tell Rhodey about Peter, but it wasn’t something he felt like he could do over the phone. At the same time, he couldn’t call his friend up after four years and just ask him to come over after ignoring him for so long. He was here now though.
“So uh, how have you been?” Rhodey asked. His eyes were raking over Tony like they always did now… he was looking to see if Tony had lost weight, or if he’d shaved recently, or if he had bags under his eyes. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t think Rhodey would find any of those things.
“Life’s been interesting,” Tony said. Why was this so hard? He used to be able to talk and joke with Rhodey with ease. He huffed a laugh and that drew Rhodey’s eyes to him.
“Yeah?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
Tony threw the holo of the Stark Phone off to the side and pulled up a schematic for a different project. He was only pretending to work at this point. He couldn’t get anything done with Rhodey there. It was a shame. He had half a dozen projects R and D was waiting on. He looked up at Rhodey and was surprised to find his throat tight and eyes stinging. He hadn’t even told him yet and he was ready to cry?! He laughed again and was aware that Rhodey was looking at him like he’d finally cracked up. “We found him Rhodey.”
“Found- who,” Rhodey asked, treading carefully.
“We found Pete.” Rhodey set his coffee mug down on the workbench, eyes wide and Tony laughed again. His eyes were wet and blurry despite his efforts to laugh them away. “We found him,” Tony said again, not sure if Rhodey had really understood what he’d said. “He’s here… or, well, he’s at school, but we-”
Rhodey came around the end of the workbench and pulled Tony into a tight hug, interrupting him. Tony stopped talking and laughed again. It had been three weeks, but he still felt like he couldn’t believe it was true.
“Geez Tones,” Rhodey said, still squeezing him tightly. They just stayed like that for several moments, and finally Rhodey let go and took a step back to look Tony up and down again. “You found him? For real? You really found him?”
“Kid found us,” Tony said. “I was giving a speech at a school and when it was over he came right up to me and told me his name was Peter and that he remembered the lullaby we used to sing to him.”
“Geez,” Rhodey repeated himself, looking like he couldn’t believe it himself, “Geez. Tony, where was he? What happened? Geez, I mean, is he ok? Why didn’t you-” he trailed off and decided not to finish that thought. Why didn’t you tell me? Because Tony couldn’t, and apparently Rhodey knew that.
Tony looked down. “He was in Queens. A couple took him… we’re still- we still don’t know what all they did to him.”
“But… how is he?”
“Confused. Scared of a lot of things and we still don’t understand why.” Tony sat down on one of his rolling lab stools and Rhodey found one and sat down too. “They changed his name and told him he was confused about everything he knew to be true.” Tony told him about Midtown, the bullying, the apartment in Queens, Peter’s apparent fear of closets, and everything else that had happened. He ended with the Parkers being in custody and the FBI finally finishing up their investigation a few days before.
“That’s, geez, that’s a lot to unpack,” Rhodey said. He looked stunned.
“He’s such a good kid,” Tony said. “He’s amazing. It’s like… we lost four years, but he came back so much like he was before. He likes a lot of the same things, and he remembers some of life before he was taken… life with us. And at the same time he came back so different. Now that he’s finally in the right grade and around kids his age he’s already made another friend, and his teacher said he’s become popular with the other kids in his class. The teacher said he chose to be friends with the one kid in class that didn’t have any friends.”
“Can I see him?” Rhodey asked.
“Yeah. You might have to fight Happy for the favorite uncle spot though. Happy bought him donuts on the way home from school yesterday, and the day before that ice cream.”
“Damn,” Rhodey said. “If you or Pepper would have called I would have come with something.”
“He likes space shuttles and NASA,” Tony said.
“See, that’s the inside information I need. I’ve got connections at NASA.”
They grew quiet for a minute, both reflecting on everything that had been said.
“Tones.” His voice was too soft, and Tony didn’t want to look back up at him. Rhodey only used that voice when he was about to get serious… or break some bad news. It was the tone of voice he’d used when he came to Tony and told him his parents had died. It was the tone of voice he used when he came to see Tony the day after Peter had been taken. When Tony didn’t look up Rhodey pressed on anyway. “Tones, why didn’t you call me?”
Tony picked up a wrench and started messing with a hex nut on the base of a robot on his workbench despite that the nut was fine where it was and didn’t need to come off. “Been busy Honey Bear,” he said, the old nickname for his friend feeling foreign on his lips because he hadn’t said it in so long.
Rhodey sighed. “Peter being back… it doesn’t change anything does it?”
Tony frowned and looked up. “Of course it changes things. My son is home. He’s alive and well.” It had changed a lot of things. Having more nightmares because he was sleeping through the night, for instance, and avoiding his lab like the plague unless Peter was there with him.
“That’s great,” Rhodey said. “But it hasn’t changed things for you. You’re still here,” he motioned around the lab. “You’re still distancing yourself from everybody else.”
“Not true,” he said. He’d seen quite a lot of Pepper lately, and if Peter was home, Tony was with him. But he knew what Rhodey was talking about. He still hadn’t called him. He still didn’t interact with any of the other Avengers… didn’t take part in team nights or little missions that they needed help with. It was something the Avengers all just knew and had come to accept early on: Tony was absent and would continue to be so. He would be there for the big things, but he wasn’t interested in being friendly with or getting to know any of the others on the team.
“Look, Tones, you pretending like I don’t know you, that doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried to give you some space… I mean, hell, four years worth of space, so has Pepper and Happy but- you’re stuck man. I wanna help, but you gotta let me in.”
“Stuck? I think I’m doing just fine on my own,” he said. He was doing better than fine. He was doing really great. Especially with Pepper there by his side again… where she’d always been… now that Tony was letting her be again. His thoughts circled, trying to argue silently with Rhody but failing. He was having too many nightmares to be fine. His anxiety was too high being in the lab by himself to be fine, but at the same time, what the hell did Rhodey know? Nothing. Nothing.
“No,” Rhodey said quietly. “You’re stuck right here where you were four years ago.” He got quiet, contemplative, and then he said, voice too sad for Tony to stand hearing, “I don’t think you ever really left that cave in Afghanistan Tones.”
Tony’s head wheeled back. He slammed the wrench down on top of the metal workbench and said loudly, “Just what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“You broke out of there and came home, and then Peter was taken.” Rhodey motioned around the dimly lit lab, which didn’t have any windows. “Then you shut yourself away in the garage in Malibu. When you moved to New York you shut yourself away in here. It’s like you never left that cave at all man.” He pointed to his own head and said, “Up here, you’re still shackled.”
And then the tightness in his chest he’d been feeling every time he had to spend any amount of time in the lab alone came back over him despite that Rhodey was right there. The walls felt like they were closing in, pushing him to move for the exit. That’s just what Tony did too. He got up and strode towards the door leading to the living area, wrench still in hand, breathing hard. He waited until he was ten or twelve steps out of the lab before he doubled over, hands on his knees and head down, trying to catch his breath. At least Peter was at school several miles away and wouldn’t be feeling the same panic gripping his chest that Tony did.
A hand touched Tony’s back up by his shoulders and he flinched for a moment in the same way Peter still did when someone reached towards him. He fought back the urge to pull away and clenched his eyes shut, just trying to focus on breathing, when what he really wanted to do was throw up.
“Shit man, I’m sorry,” Rhodey said quietly above him. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“Really?” Tony croaked, mouth dry. “What did you think was going to happen?”
“Not this.”
They were both quiet for long moments as Tony fought for his breath. Eventually he stood back up, gave Rhodey a dirty look, and pointed at him. “This was your fault. I was fine before you decided to push me back into a cave. You gonna remind me that I was waterboarded for hours on end too?”
Rhody just stared at him.
“What?” Tony held both of his hands up, realized he still had a small wrench in his hand from the workshop, and set it on the island counter in the kitchen.
“You never told me that Tones.” He was quiet, eyes searching Tony’s face. “I knew it was a possibility after you were captured, but I’d hoped-” he trailed off.
“Forget it.” Tony turned away from him and went to the fridge just to have something to keep his hands busy.
“Isn’t that the problem though? You just- pushed it all to the side to deal with losing Peter, and you forgot about it.”
Tony turned back to him, bottle of orange juice in hand, and scoffed. “That’s not something you forget.”
“Pushing it away then. That’s not- that’s not right man, to just bottle it all up. I’ve seen guys in the service do it too many times.” Rhodey looked like he had something he wanted to say, but wasn’t sure if he should. He had his hands on his hips, and after long moments of internal debate, looked back up at Tony. “You know how high the veteran suicide rates are. I don’t- keeping it all in like that- I don’t want that to happen to you.”
Tony held up his hands and said, “Not a veteran.” Rhodey saw through the, ‘I’m Tony Stark and nothing bothers me because I’m Iron Man’ tone that Tony used when he wanted a wall in front of himself and a topic that was difficult to discuss. He was surprised Tony had even used it with him, because they both knew he’d see right through it, just like Pepper and Happy would. Someday Peter would probably come to see through it too when he was old enough.
“Not a veteran,” Rhodey agreed, “but you experienced a lot of the same shit. Then you came back and acted like nothing happened.”
“In case you hadn’t noticed-”
“Yeah,” Rhodey cut him off. “Peter, I know.” His tone was hard, flat. “Now Peter’s back, so what are you gonna do?”
Tony was quiet, still holding the bottle of unopened orange juice in his hand as he stared at his friend… his friend who had always given the truth to him whether he wanted to hear it or not. That’s what he was doing here now: laying it all out for Tony like it was obvious. Maybe it was and he just couldn’t see it. “What do you want me to do?” He tried to make it sound sarcastic, but it came out sounding like he really wanted to know what his best friend thought. Rhodey had always given him good advice in college, and even after that, after they’d graduated and gone their separate ways, Rhodey to the military and Tony to be the CEO of Stark Industries.
“Counseling.”
Tony laughed and looking serious Rhodey said, “I’m not joking.”
“Not gonna happen.”
“Why are you so against the idea? You went through hell, twice. You’ve gotta talk about it.”
“Pepper and I talk.”
“About Peter,” Rhodey said.
“Yeah.”
“Great, now what about Afghanistan?”
Tony was quiet. Afghanistan… the cave… Ho Yinsen… it was too much to put on Pepper. He didn’t want her to know about it. He reached up and rubbed his hand across his mouth, and then let his eyes come back up to Rhodey.
Rhodey walked the rest of the way over to the kitchen island and stared across it at Tony. “Do you want my help?”
“I’m not going to counseling,” Tony said, voice quiet and flat.
“Then tell me about it.”
“So you can have nightmares and panic attacks too?” Tony scoffed, “Right.”
“You know what,” Rhodey said, “that’s your issue. You think you gotta shoulder it all yourself. I thought, knowing your soulmate, you would have learned that you don’t have to.”
Tony’s brows furrowed. He knew Rhodey had never had a chance to meet his soulmate before she had died. Everyone knew though that soulmates had a connection between them that made living life, just… easier. Like when Peter couldn’t express his fear of the closet, and Tony had just known and been able to step in to take care of it for him.
Tony set his orange juice down on the counter and put both of his hands flat on the surface to hold himself up. He looked down at the counter top and took a deep breath. How did you just tell someone about three horrifying months of your life spent in a cave? About waking up with shrapnel still in your chest with your hands tied behind your back, and having them rip a scratchy cloth sack off your head to find yourself staring down a camera and searing white lights while terrorists shouted in a language you didn’t understand? After four years of not talking about it, how did you just start all of a sudden?
“I wasn’t alone,” he said. He paused, looked up at Rhodey and found him listening. “There was this guy from Gulmira called Ho Yinsen. We were trapped, and he asked if I was going to do something about it. Then we got to work.”
Rhodey held his gaze as he pulled a stool out on the other side of the counter and sat down to listen. Tony didn’t think he’d get through it all, though some of it he could skip over because Rhodey had already heard about the car battery, and other minor details. His throat was tight, along with his chest, but Rhodey didn’t interrupt, and Tony pressed forward, getting to work, just like he and Yinsen had done in the cave.
A/N: Usually I research and include real places in stories. But since Midtown High is made up, I figured it’d be ok to make up my own private school to add to the story. There are a TON of private schools in NYC. Just figured I’d make a good one up :p Note: I have nothing against counseling. At this point in the story however I just don’t see it is in character for Tony to accept that as an option. Rhodey knew there was a chance he might be able to get Tony to talk to him however since they’ve been friends forever. I love LOVE how Rhodey is like the older brother Tony needed and finally found in college, and I love the parallels between that and the older Ned of this story to Peter.